Tuesday, July 4, 2006

ROH Arena Warfare

1. Dunn/Marcos vs. Homicide/Reyes vs. Jason Blade/Kid Mikaze vs. Briscoe Bros. - Tag Team Scramble Match - 2
2. Roderick Strong vs. Jimmy Yang - 3
3. BJ Whitmer vs. Necro Butcher - 1
4. Matt Sydel vs. Austin Areis - 5
5. Irish Airborne vs. Sal Rinauro and Tony Mamaluke - 5
6. Alex Shelley vs. Bryan Danielson - 6
7. Christopher Daniels vs. Colt Cabana vs. Samoe Joe - 4

I've came to a realization. I've been to a couple ROH shows live, and they're generally a lot of fun. But, on video, they don't quite hold the same quality. Sure, there are some matches that are undeniably good. However, most of the guys currently on the roster have the same look, lack of character, similar sets of moves, and poor storytelling skills. As hard as I try to get into the shows on video, usually I find myself daydreaming of better stuff, like 80's tag team wrestling, or stunning early 90's lucha libre. (Editor's note: Recently after watching this I saw a different ROH DVD that blew me away -- check back next week to read about it.)

The opening tag team scramble was about as easy on the eyes as Bull Nakano fucking a sheep. So many moves happening, so little psychology considered. I was looking forward to Strong and Yang, but it was a total dud. Yang's working on a nice little gut -- true story, a few years prior when he was working HWA shows while under developmental contract with WWE, I saw him at a food court in a mall eating and admiring a Sex In the City box set he just blew his money on. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

This was my first glimpse of Necro, who looked like an alcoholic child rapist that digs Mountain Dew and his truck. Sydal and Aries was pretty solid, although not steeped in any hate or intensity, which would have helped the proceedings immensely.

Irish Airborne is known around here as Lotus and Crazy J, I made some scathing comments on them in a prior review, but I'm a sucker for swank armdrags and they have plenty of them. I like Sal and Tony, too; they're a lot of fun and one of the few legit tag teams in ROH.

I like Shelley and Danielson a lot, but their match was killed, as they had the buy time so main eventer Samoa Joe could arrive at the building; so they did about 20 unbearable minutes of cheap heat stuff, playing to the crowd, etc. This may have been tolerable live, but is painful to watch on TV. The three-way seemed forced, and not worthy of its spot. Cabana pinned Daniels, than Joe ran out in street clothes (looking like he should be bagging groceries) and pummeled Cabana in a disappointing finish to a disappointing show.

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