Tuesday, August 13, 2024

Hodgepodge Hoagie

 “Zombie Princess” Jimmy Jacobs vs. Pentagón Jr. (TNA/TWR Penta Does Iowa 5/5/18) – 6
 
Main event of a Twitch stream co-promoted by TNA. Pentagón gets top billing and the show itself named after him. Undercard was mixed bag. Some Sami Callihan, Tommy Dreamer, Sugar Dunkerton, all your favorites. I’m glad Revolver gave Jacobs (wearing a corset and dress and smeared in blood) a rare headliner and he paid tribute to his IWA Mid-South past by making this a wild brawl. Lots of weapons were utilized and grotesque structures crudely erected to bump onto. Climaxed with Pentagón hitting his package piledriver on a gigantic sheet of wood which was laid atop 8 or so opened steel chairs for maximum bumpage.
 
Fallah Bahh vs. Eli Drake (TNA Xplosion #709 4/21/18) – 4
Taya Valkyrie vs. Alisha Edwards (TNA Xplosion #710 4/28/18) – 3
 
Bahh’s heft was on ample display. Fave moment came when Eli was sitting atop the buckles and Fallah just threw this swiping right hand and unceremoniously knocked Drake to the floor. Only irksome detail is because, due to his large size, the finish in Bahh’s matches are almost always some sort of roll-up because guys can’t hoist him up for their finishing moves. Alisha, now in 2024, is a great heel valet for The System faction, but was spunky newcomer still in TNA at this time. And this was pure butternut. Squash, that is. Best moment was it looked like Alisha was going to do one of those bulldogs where you kick off the top rope for an added momentum boost, and Taya just shoved her forward and Edwards took an ugly spill out of the ring. Valkyrie was booked dominant and screamed at the captive theme park crowd “Bring me some competition!” They were probably thinking, “Lady, I’m just trying to find the churro stand!”
 
Trent Seven vs. “Speedball” Mike Bailey (TNA Impact #1036 5/30/24) – 8
 
I’m reflecting on this one many days later and didn’t jot any notes at the time (or had even considered writing about it). But felt it was my civic duty to share some love toward it. These guys are a team under the guise Speedball Mountain and were only facing-off for a shot at Mustafa Ali’s X Division title at the next pay-per-view. This was at a taping in nearby Newport, KY – I was a bit lapsed in my TNA fandom at that time so regrettably missed the opportunity to be there live. Great match that I won’t spill too much ink on overselling to you – just strongly urge you to give it a watch. Lovely moment where a chop exchange got escalated when Bailey threw a mean chop to the upper-back of Trent. This broke the social contract as chops are generally only delivered to the chest. So the guys then proceeded to exchange cringe-inducing chops to each other’s backs. Lots of high-impact offense, Bailey’s kicks were as brutal and on-point as ever, sickening head drop bump on the apron, just a real gem.