Sunday, August 6, 2006

WWE No Mercy ‘04

1. DVD Bonus: Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Mark Jindrak – 4
2. Luther Reigns vs. Eddie Guerrero – 4
3. Spike Dudley vs. Nunzio – 5
4. Paul London vs. Billy Kidman – 6
5. Rob Van Dam and Rey Mysterio vs. Kenzo Suzaki and Rene Dupree – 5
6. Big Show vs. Kurt Angle – 3
7. John Cena vs. Booker T – 4
8. Rico, Charlie Haas, and Miss Jackie vs. Dudle Boyz and Dawn Marie – 3
9. JBL vs. Undertaker – Last Ride Match – 6

Jindrak and Hotty were relegated to Heat status, but still brought the professional wrestling, in a generally decently executed bout. Reigns and Eddie opened up the actual show, and although I take nothing away from Guerrero’s many accomplishments (championships, awards, cocaine snorting contests) I was disappointed even he couldn’t carry Luther to a halfway good match. Nunzio and Spike had a nifty little match, void of anything really memorable, but acceptable for what it was. London and Kidman stole the show, having an excellent match, with some ballsy bumps and exciting sequences.

RVD and Mysterio worked splendidly as a tag team, and put forth an earnest effort here, in a decidedly average match against Suzaki and Dupree, who’d rather be eating General Tso’s chicken and watching General Juggs’ Ass-Fuck-A-Thon #21 in their dressing room. As good as Angle is, his matches with Big Show generally bite – this was certainly no exception. Cena and Booker could have been a lot of fun… it wasn’t. The six-person inter-gender match would have only been watchable had the participants been naked, intoxicated, and roughhousing in a Tijuana alleyway. I guess I’d be down for watching Dawn and Jackie have a cum spitting competition, too; but, I digress. The main event I awarded decent points to, although, I’m not entirely sure why; outside of it having a big match feel, it wasn’t that good, and the ending, featuring Heidenreich kidnapping Undertaker was as atrocious as a Lawler nude self-portrait.

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