Thursday, August 10, 2006

WCW Bash at the Beach ‘95

1. Meng vs. Sting – 6
2. Paul Orndorff vs. Renegade – 3
3. Kamala vs. “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan – 2
4. Dave Sullivan vs. Diamond Dallas Page – 2
5. Harlem Heat vs. Bluebloods vs. Nasty Boys – Triangle Match – 4
6. Randy Savage vs. Ric Flair – Lumberjack Match – 6
7. Hulk Hogan vs. Vader – Steel Cage Match – 5

This event took place on an actual beach and is a great reminder of how ludicrous WCW as in ’95. Sting and Meng have the most quasi-legit match of the show; it was given decent time, plus, I fell out when Sting tried to splash Meng in the corner, and Meng stuck his leg up at the last second and mashed Sting’s face with his boot. Orndorff and Renegade was a pile of shit; no surprises there, but that doesn’t lessen the impact of witnessing a former superstar tarnish his reputation by selling poorly delivered power moves by a muscle head with self-esteem issues. The only memorable moment came when Orndorff oversold his ass off, bumping out of the ring, off the elevated platform, and onto his head in the sand. I’d rather watch Kamala and Duggan have a chicken wings eating contest than wrestle, but no dice, as they make us suffer through an uneventful filler bout. Dave Sullivan and DDP sucked fierce, but the video package that aired before the match was priceless, showing how DDP duped Dave into eating his own pet rabbit in a stew… genius, I say!

In what was billed the first triangle match in company history, three diverse teams failed to impress, in what was about as lackluster as getting Missy Hyatt stoned and nailing her. Savage and Flair have a lumberjack match, but since we’re on the beach, the rowdy group of men ringside aren’t adorned in the typical flannel attire, but instead opt for tie-dye shirts, looking like complete fucking idiots. Hogan and Vader went at it in the cage, which should have meant something, but unfortunately it was about as memorable as your first monthly rent bill. Vader was pretty stiff, but Hogan’s lackadaisical performance left me unsatisfied. After the match, Flair runs down and gets inside the cage to verbally attack Vader; once he pisses him off, he decides to leave and does so in the most surprising fashion… climbing to the top of the cage and falling off, nearly breaking his hip in the most unintentionally hilarious moment since Piper brained Snuka with a coconut.

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