Wednesday, August 16, 2006

TNA Hard Justice ‘06

1. Ron "Truth" Killings vs. A-1– 1
2. Sonjay Dutt and Cassidy Riley vs. Jimmy Jacobs and El Diablo – 1
3. Eric Young vs. Johnny Devine – 3
4. Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley – 4
5. Brother Runt vs. Abyss – 5
6. Samoa Joe vs. Monty Brown vs. Rhino – Falls Count Anywhere Match – 7
7. Gail Kim vs. Sirelda – 2
8. Petey Williams vs. Jay Lethal vs. Senshi – 6
9. AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels vs. L.A.X. – 5
10. Jeff Jarrett vs. Sting – 2

Killings and A-1 was short and abysmally bad. A-1 looked like he should have stretched before the match; his movements were stiffer than Vince McMahon’s cock after Stephanie sucks it. He bumps so awkwardly that he’s destined the have a career plagued with injuries – although I don’t see him wrestling for far too much longer. The tag team match was everything I don’t like about wrestling; it was flashy without substance, it was an athletic event void of any effort, and a story sans believability. Jacobs’ debut for TNA was about as unmemorable as his first foray into the receiving end of anal sex, which by the way, came at the bequest of former ROH owner Rob Feinstein to help secure Jimmy a job. I recently met Jacobs at a show and politely asked him to share his thoughts on getting his skull crushed by an Eddy Guerrero brainbuster; his curt response was insulting and I hope he suffers a career-ending injury very soon.

Young and Devine was alright until a fire occurred in the rafters of the building, followed by the entire arena being filled with the contents of a multitude of fire extinguishers. Devine busted out a couple nifty spots, but the match will only likely be recalled due to the heinous act of negligence by the TNA crew. Subsequently, local firemen evacuated the building, and for forty-five minutes pay-per-view viewers like yours truly, were forced to watch a truly terrible Sting video segment again and again. The show continued eventually, with Sabin and Shelley. These two gifted workers had a match below their standard work, although you can’t totally blame them, as due to the blazing inferno fiasco, the crowd was absolutely did for this.

Runt and Abyss actually had a pretty good hardcore bout, given the size difference and the silent crowd obstacle, and I was pleased. Runt took some especially nasty bumps; including having his forehead stomped into a huge pile of thumbtacks. I also enjoyed the three-way match, which was a wild brawl and a lot of fun to behold. I don’t particularly fancy Rhyno’s work, and Joe was intense as always, but the wild card was Monty Brown whom delivered his share of the awesomeness. See, Brown is usually squashing enhancement talent, but for the first time, here he’s in there with two big boys who will gladly oblige smashing his face. I think it brings the best out of the naturally competitive Brown, as went toe-to-toe with two of TNA’s toughest.

For some perverse reason, I was looking forward to the women’s match. Unfortunately, it sucked dong. I don’t know how they could have possibly had a match worse than the usual WWE women’s fare, but they found a way. The second three-way was the best-wrestled bout of the evening; the only thing it suffered from was lack of emotion. I dig Senshi and his intensity, and tend to find Petey pretty grand, as well. They did some neat stuff, but it didn’t generate a lot of feel feeling or interest. The tag team match was a bit of the opposite, getting the crowd riled up a bit, but the proficiency of the wrestling was largely mediocre. The usually solid Daniels seemed a tad off, and Styles wasn’t as phenomenal as he touts himself to be. Hernandez, whom I haven’t seen much of, looked pretty fired up and impressive. He mixes strength and agility well, much akin to Ahmed Johnson and Brock Lesnar before him.

Jeff Jarrett and Sting was a major disappointment. As I stated to my friends while watching this, it’s obvious that the backstage hierarchy didn’t have much faith in these two putting on a good match; that’s evidenced by them turning it into largely a tame crowd brawl, void of the excitement and energy a main event should produce. By the end, we saw Christian get heavily involved, and turn heel in one of the most obvious swerves in recent memory. It’s like the writers rolled their twelve-sided dice and landed on “How To Ruin A Major Show”, sat puzzled briefly, and then developed this insipid mess.

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