Saturday, August 2, 2008

WCW SuperBrawl VI

1. Nasty Boys vs. Public Enemy – Falls Count Anywhere Match – 4
2. Johnny B. Badd vs. Diamond Dallas Page – 3
3. Harlem Heat vs. Lex Luger and Sting – 3
4. Konnan vs. One Man Gang – 2
5. Kevin Sullivan vs. Brian Pillman – “I Respect You” Strap Match – 2
6. Kevin Sullivan vs. Arn Anderson - “I Respect You” Strap Match – 1
7. Road Warriors vs. Lex Luger and Sting – 3
8. Randy Savage vs. Ric Flair – Steel Cage Match – 3
9. Hulk Hogan vs. The Giant – Steel Cage Match – 3

Jessie and I tried to watch this show together back in June, and while I don’t feel comfortable now giving almost the entire show the same embarrassingly low score of 3, at the time it’s how I felt upon viewing the show for this project. It’s a show definitely worthy of thumbs down, with a general malaise and stench about it. Purveyors and fans alike aren’t salivating to get their hands on early-’96 WCW stuff anyway; it’s a pretty embarrassing time for the company.

The opening tag is wild, reckless, and careless to boot. Saggs and Knobbs aren’t selling much, the weapon shots are largely tame, but it’s still somewhat fun watching these grown men sloppily brawl around falling all over the place. Rocco Rock is taking the lion’s share of the bumps, going through a grand total of three tables during the course of the bout. Page and Badd went far too long for both being green and embroiled in a ridiculous storyline involving the possession of the Booty Babe or whatever the hell they were calling Kim at the time. The following tag was going along fine, kind of restless and lackluster, but the Road Warriors got involved leading to a particularly crappy interference finish

Konnan and One Man Gang is fucking terrible, truthfully I only gave it pity points because people should watch this to just see how bad wrestling can be at its worst. I feel bad for Gang, he tried, but Konnan is all over the place here, stumbling around and blowing spots buzzed on cocaine and Cheetos. The Pillman match is the infamous “shoot” where the grapple for a minute before Brian screams, “I respect you, booker man!” and runs out on the match, company, and his contract. This gets an extra point for historical significance, but they rushed out Anderson to try and make something out of this for the live crowd who were befuddled, they shouldn’t have bothered, because Arn comes out in a dress shirt tucked into khaki shorts and has a brief yet retched encounter with Sullivan.

The Road Warriors versus Sting and Lex isn’t any good, either. Kudos to Sting, as he’s the only one trying whatsoever, but Lex is his usual immobile and imbecilic self. Warriors aren’t selling, what’s new? The finish is a really lame double DQ as the four brawl back to the backstage where they later took turns pooping on Missy Hyatt’s hair. The cage matches both have problems, I was actually looking forward to Savage and Flair but it fell apart massively. The guys did try somewhat, including Savage leaping from the top of the cage like a mad man, only to land on his old knees and bounce like a ball in a sickening but strangely humorous spot. There’s a lot of crappy interference, including Elizabeth turning on Savage and them using her cheap shoe as a prop, and some troubles with the “locked” cage door that keeps mysteriously opening. Props to the Giant, as he at least ate all of his cage shots headfirst like a real trooper, but Hogan looked pathetic here and this was just the epitome of a throwaway main event. The show ended with a bunch of idiots holding back Loch Ness from entering the cage to get at Hogan—imagine the excitement.

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