WCW SuperBrawl VII

1) Syxx v. Dean Malenko- 5
2) Konan/ La Parka/ Villano IV v. Juventud Guerrera/ Ciclope/ Super Calo- 4
3) Prince Ieakeau v. Rey Mysterio jr.- 4
4) DDP v. Buff Bagwell- 5
5) Eddie Guerrero v. Chris Jericho- 6
6) Faces of Fear v. Public Enemy v. Harlem Heat- 5
7) Steve McMichael v. Jeff Jarrett- 3
8) Kevin Sullivan v. Chris Benoit (Death Match) - 6
9) The Outsiders v. The Giant/ Lex Luger- 4
10) Hollywood Hogan v. Roddy Piper- 2

This started with Piper escaping his week long vacation at Alcatraz, in preparation to meet Hogan in the main event. Hogan actually showed up there on the 2nd night and wondered if he could bunk with "Hot Rod" because Linda was filming a new reality show at their house called "Linda does 18 year old boys while her son paralyzes his friends hotrodding like a dumb shit and her daughter got new boobies so many men can grope them and she can have a new reality show and Hulk's an ass Knows Best."

Dean is all business, as usual, and everything he does is crispier than a pannini sandwhich. Syxx's strength has always been his selling, because even when he's high on something, he still takes big, meaty bumps to get someone's offense over. This isn't your usual Dean either, he's hitting power moves and not bothering with submissions until a few minutes in. Eddie comes down and a really badly choreographed tug of war with the Cruiserweight belt finishes this one. Most Lucha 6 mans are indelibly exciting but this had so many botched spots, it's hard to give it big marks, even though Ciclope's major moonsault blunder looked awful painful and made everyone in the room laugh heartily. They showed off some Lucha submission spots involving all 6 guys and there was a crazy dive spot that looked like people jumping from the Titanic, but other than that, this was very much like a TV match. The next match was a real mix of styles; I always though Ieakeau had potential as he shows some sign of good mat wrestling here and with Rey's high flying this could be good, but alas, there's a lot of ground work here and Ieakeau's pace isn't in Rey's vicinity so the styles were a major clash. Lord Regal made a guest appearance in a fine pinstriped suit that added to the negative column for this one.

Page cut this really typical Page promo in the back that was pretty humorous, but onto the match. Buff was still mobile at this time and Page was motivated so surprisingly this was pretty competitive. Saw a lot of reversals and spots strung together and I was really surprised. Most of the moves were done well and Page sold them as best he could. The finish really brought it home and it was almost recommendable but just because it was better than I expected doesn't mean it's great either, but kudos guys. Eddie and Jericho, both in my top 5 favorite workers, were both babyfaces here so the crowd heat was really lacking. Jericho did a cool variation on his dropkick to the apron where he catapulted himself outside for a very sound splash. Guerrero's mullet was large and in charge and plucked directly from the 80's. The work was solid and they pulled out some toned down Japanese holds but the fire from the crowd usually inspires both men and I don't think they were feeling it; plus they could have used more time, but still this is solid action that deserves a 2nd look. You had 5 legitimately bad dudes here (sorry Johnny Grunge) and the triangle match still seemed a foreign concept here in Turner, even though PE had experience. But this was high on the fun factor because everyone was working really stiff, no surprise with the Faces of Fear whom I've been secretly admiring as of late. Barbarian was catching dudes flipping left and right and just stuffing them with powerbombs. Booker was the uber-athlete of this match and hit several fancy kicks. Stevie Ray had a prescence yet Meng was quiet on the apron for most of this. PE got the win after a crazy finish where they both planchaed onto Barbarian.

Jarrett further makes a mockery of our business by taking back bumps with no emotion involved in them whatsoever, and he's in great company with the likes of JBL and Vampiro. Mongo is just a drunk let out on a leash, bumbling over the ring, occasionally hitting something decent but I noticed his swings are as wild as a blind pitcher and he nearly dropped Jarrett while trying to do a side slam which the camera gets right in close on Jarrett as he lands hard and acts as if he's sleeping in bed. I spit on your name Jarrett!- even Mongo sells his back bumps! This was a wild match, which essentially was two matches because you had Benoit and Sullivan stiffing each other and you had Woman and Jacqueline tied to a leather strap just whiping the hell out of each other. The crowd brawl goes to the back and back out to the ring again where it culmniates in a crazy table spot from the top by Benoit. This was loads of fun and the hatred between all parties involved was palpable.

Giant came out alone for an unexplained reason and fought off Hall and Nash who seemed particularly ready to take some bumps, especially Nash. Giant broke out a dropkick at one point that wasn't half bad. Luger came down near the end and the faces went over clean, big time right in the middle of the ring. If memory serves me, that was a rare thing back in those NwO for life days. Bischoff got slung to the ground like a child's doll also, which pleased me. The only reason to give the main event any points is Piper's somewhat inspired selling during the climax of the match and after when Savage was dropping his swank ass elbow (which still looked good). The finish was all fucked up- Piper wins with a sleeper hold and is announced as new World Champ, then they restart it and Hogan hits him with knucks and wins, and the excuse was Hogan's foot was under the ropes, although no one in the crowd had any clue. What a pile of shit. Hogan was lean and in good shape but his performance was god awful. PIper goes to tackle him at one point and he drops to one knee, then puts his hand out behind his back so as not to take a bump but to collapse in slow motion. Sting came down the aisle to watch for a second then remembered there were more roast beef sandwhiches left on the snack table in the back so he skedadled; can't blame him. This main event was a giant waste of time.