Monday, October 30, 2006

WCW Bash at the Beach 2000

This was the infamous "Shoot" of Vince Russo on live PPV directed at Hulk Hogan and Hogan's ego.

1 "The Juice" ( Juventud Guerrera) v. Lt. Ridiculous Gimmick (Chavo Guerrero)-2

2 Big Vito v. Norman Smiley/ Ralphus( Hardcore Match)- 0

3 Daffney v. Miss Hancock( Wedding Dress Match)- 0

4 The Perfect Event v. Kronik- 3

5 Booker T v. Kanyon wearing a stupid blonde wig- 5

6 Mike Awesome v. Scott Steiner- 3

7 Vampiro v. The Demon( Graveyard Match)- 2

8 Shane Douglas v. Buff Bagwell- 2

9 Kevin Nash v. Goldberg( Scott Hall's contract)- 3

10 Booker T v. Jeff Jarrett- 5

The show began with cruiserweight action that was worlds away from what they were doing five years before. Nearly ten people interfered in this match and almost all of them were wearing Halloween masks... in June. Let your neurons absorb that. I know this sounds like a synopsis for a bad teen WB drama, not professional wrestling. The hardcore match was ludicrous; I remember one actual wrestling move: an elbow through a table on Ralphus. Smiley was screaming louder than usual. He must've known he had to watch the replay of this PPV later. Then, the Wedding match. This was one big punchline that I didn't get. Everyone in the match, the two participants, David Flair, Crowbar, and even the Referee were in their underwear by the end of it. The beginning of it was Stacy making out with David; a perfect example of Daddy's little angel becoming a dumb bitch over "love." Don't worry; I use that word as loosely as Konnan used Tygress' pussy as chap stick later that night. There were two matches that didn't have any interference the whole night: the tag title match was the first, and god, was I praying someone else would come in. Kronik stumble bumbled over the ring like drunken bar patrons and they certainly didn't bump like guys who had been in the business for ten plus years. They did pull off a sick finish though; but the effect was worn off. Booker and Kanyon had a perfectly fine match with some good back and forths, then Jarrett interfered as if the whole scenario involving Hogan was staged? Steiner and Awesome was pretty plodding; Steiner hit some tough suplexes and Awesome showed small twinkles of his high flying, risk taking style that he was once known for. That guy's prime was over before it ever began. Then, the graveyard match. This has to be seen to be believed. Tell me, why would you wear your wrestling gear and face paint into a graveyard? We've practically blown the back stage curtain off of wrestling, told every secret available, yet this dumb shlameel wants to stay in character. It was very characteristic of Demon to strap on a dreaded rear chinlock in the middle of the dark graveyard as well, considering I hadn't ever seen him use it in a ring. Later, he was knocked into a swamp and then a coffin and a grave. An hour later, Vampiro showed up in the ring- that was how you won. You had to come back to the arena and get in the ring. Genius, wouldn't you say? Douglas and Buff worked a pretty predictable match that featured Torrie Wilson getting over on both of them. That's what the business is all about. As long as you got some fake hooters, you're going to be more of a draw than a 15 year vet. Of course, most people would probably rather see Torrie's two enormous breasts wrestle with a bikini top than to see two of Russo's so called "New Blood" stars. The only thing about either of their blood that is new was the shit they bought off some nerdy teenager to pass a regular drug screen. Nash and Goldberg went to the extent of their abilities in a five minute match that was briefly stiff. Then, Jarrett and Booker T put together a pretty basic match that had it's high points, with Booker winning his first WCW Title. Then, of course, earlier in the night, was Russo shooting on Hogan, who had decided to play his creative card on Jarrett and take the WCW title. If he let him, they may have still had a company. But, who knows? I'm just a former fan.

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