Omega Aaron Draven vs. Jeff Mayhem vs. Chris Miles – 3
When the first thing I see on my screen is Draven coming out with some rotund hillbilly manager, my expectations immediately drop. Jeff Mayhem has one of the most generic indy names I’ve ever heard of and is as skinny as a bean pole, as they used to say in the south. Miles I’m guessing is the local boy here as the announcers mention he’s from Huntington. Draven bails early leaving most of the ring work to Mayhem and Miles. While not overwhelmingly impressive, it was solid and they had a decent handle on things. Draven at times spewed about as much emotion as the frozen chicken strips in your freezer. The big spots worked fine, even though the spot where Draven superkicked Mayhem who then went directly into a standing moonsault seemed a bit choreographed.
Mickie Knuckles vs. Brittany Force – 2
I’ve seen a bunch of Mickie Knuckles matches over the years and this was not her at her finest. First half was nothing but Mickie playing to the miniscule crowd and working in a few comedy spots. As I was this I’m thinking that while most matches don’t get out of first gear, this isn’t going to get out of park. Force worked a good heel but almost got ahead of herself on a side slam. The complete air ball by Mickie when she was supposed to deliver a kick while Brittany was doing a bridge was laughable. Harsh match ending pump-handle powerbomb was probably the thing with the highest impact of the first two matches.
Kaige Kuttler vs. Viper – 1
The announcers mentioned this as a “West Virginia grudge match over trailer park lot rent”. When I envision that, I think of a people with bad hygiene habits full of beer and meth brawling bare knuckle and shirtless in the dirt in the middle of the trailer park. That would most assuredly be more entertaining than this match. Only big thing worth mentioning here is the hip toss Viper took from the ring apron to the floor.
Irish Airborne vs. Mad Man Pondo & 2 Tuff Tony - 3
I was so hoping to see Pondo and Tony stiff the fuck out of the Airborne but instead all I saw were Pondo and Tony bumbling around the ring and Irish Airborne hitting flippy offense. Pondo looked like a giant pile of dog shit when he tried to hit the ropes. There was a terrifying moment when Jake Crist dove over the top and Pondo and Tony almost dropped the poor bastard when they caught him. Timing got completely fucked on a nearfall when Tony was supposed to break it with a springboard moonsault but was late and the ref just randomly stopped counting. Tony should not be doing cruiserweight style offense, he should be hitting people over the head with chairs really hard. So far, this was better than anything else I’ve seen on this show even though the score may not represent that.
The Murder Junkies (Sam Hain & The Juggulator) vs. The In Crowd (T.J. Phillips & Trik Nasty) - 2
For a tag title match, I was expecting a bit more effort. It appears that the only thing Sam Hain has murdered as of late are double bacon cheeseburgers from Wendy’s. Is there a worse wrestler than Juggulator? If there is, I would sure like someone to point him out to me. The In Crowd tried hard but this was a total wreck. Aaron Draven took the best bump of the match and all he did was run-in. If I had to pick a highlight I guess it would be the tower of doom spot from Sam Hain as nothing else really sticks out. Crowd had about as much pulse as Ronald Reagan currently does.
Jason Kincaid vs. Chris Hero - 4
When I saw there were two matches and over 40 minutes left in the show at this point, I felt really disheartened. Kincaid was a last minute replacement for Sami Callihan and looked like Berzerker’s son with Sheamus’ tan. I watched this pretty closely, not being familiar with Kincaid at all and I wasn’t a big fan of what I saw. His strikes were weak, like a ten year old afraid to hit a heavy bag without gloves, and he was pretty emotionless on selling the entire match. Hero knocked the shit out of him on a couple occasions, most notably one of the stiffest baseball slide dropkicks I’ve ever seen. They tried to work the in some big nearfalls in front of a crowd of about fifty people who could have cared less and that didn’t really work too well. Time wise I think they went a few minutes too long as well.
Low Ki vs. Necro Butcher - 7
Brian and I reviewed the first meeting between these two from IWA Mid South in 2006 a while back and we both gave it very high marks. Five years removed from that show and these two are back battling once again and pick up right from where they left off. This match was just so fucking good that I don’t even know where to begin. Everything was just brutally stiff. The bleacher brawl section was awesome, capped off by a huge mushroom stomp from Low Ki. Necro’s dome got gashed open when he took an accidental header into the ring apron. Even though Necro looks like he’s aged about ten years, don’t let that fool you. He can still throw down with the best of them. I though Low Ki had a broken neck when Necro had him piggyback on his shoulders and fell straight back with him. Big nearfall with Low Ki kicking out of the tiger driver. At its core, this was two old school indy guys just coming in and completely destroying one another. Finish with Low Ki grabbing Necro by the giant beard and tossing him off the top buckle onto an open chair followed by a gigantic mushroom stomp was just awesome.
1 comment:
some good lines here....like the double cheeseburger one.....as well as not even getting out of park....main sounds good
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