Friday, January 5, 2007

Ring of Glory "The Great Commission" DVD

Let’s see … the hard cam is titled to one side, Scott Hudson’s commentary can be heard throughout the whole arena, and a ladder match for the sword from Braveheart, an appearance from Jason Sensation, Ron Simmons in a Bill Cosby sweater, and 200 people in the arena. This can’t be good.

1) Rodney Mack vs. Bull Buchanan – 3
This was a pretty respectable match. Buchanan looked like he’d put on a few pounds but still managed to hit a nice scissors kick. Afterwards, Percy Pringle came out as Jazz turned on Mack with no explanation. Then the lights went out (what is it with indy promotions not paying their electric bills?) and then came back on for a stupid promo. Probably the best match of the whole DVD.

2) Mike Sanders & Erik Watts vs. D-Lo Brown & Glen “Disco” Gilbertti – 1
All four guys worked the stick before the match. That must be some kind of prerequisite. This was beyond bad. Everyone but D-Lo had a t-shirt on and Disco turned on D-Lo about halfway through the bout and I don’t think a finish was ever announced.

3) Mark Jindrak vs. Matt “Spike” Hyson – 2
Not much here. Jindrak beat up the guy who cleans the ring. Spike took an ass bump through a table after the match. I think every heel is associated with Pringle.

4) Kevin Northcutt vs. Syxx-Pac – 3
Pac comes through the crowd and elbows some little kid on the head on his way in. Northcutt is elegantly clad in tights with eyes all over them and, of course, a t-shirt. Pac looked pretty good but Northcutt looked like garbage.

5) Sal Rinauro vs. C.J. Summers vs. Air Paris vs. Jimmy Rave – Sword of the Spirit Elimination Ladder Match – 3
Russo joins Hudson on commentary and puts the match over huge. Four guys start then two are eliminated by pinfall. The remaning two compete in a ladder match to claim the “Sword of the Spirit”, which I’m assuming is apparently the same as winning the title. These four were actually featured earlier on in a very AA-esque roundtable discussion. Anyway, Summers was the first eliminated, not to my surprise because I’d never heard of him. Paris was decked out in jeans and a black shirt while everyone else had actual gear on. The ladders look like they came from Home Depot. Rinauro gets eliminated next. Paris does hit with a very nice legdrop from the ladder. Jimmy Rave eventually wins and no one cared.

6) Jazz vs. Rain – 1
What the hell is this? Rain is apparently one of Trinity’s students as both of them are planted in the crowd. Rain gets her ass beat by Jazz. Trinity comes in and then Jazz jobs? This just reeks. Afterwards, there’s a huge thirty minute promo by a bunch of miscellaneous people, including a ring crew guy who is apparently attempting to portray Jesus, followed by a huge prayer while they crammed most of the fans in the ring.

This was a really bad DVD. Religion and wrestling do not mix.

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