Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Best of Chris Candio in WCW

1. Artist vs. Psicosis - Uncensored - 3
2. Chris Candido vs. Lash Leroux - 4
3. Chris Candido vs. Chavo Guerrero, Jr. - 3
4. Artist vs. Michael Modest - 4
5. Chris Candido vs. Chavo Guerrero, Jr. - 2
6. Lash Leroux, Crowbar, and Shannon Moore vs. Artist, Chris Candido, and Juventud Guererra - 3
7. Chris Candido vs. Shannon Moore vs. Lash Leroux vs. Artist vs. Crowbar vs. Juventud Guererra - Spring Stampede - 2
8. Paisely vs. Tammy Sytch - 0
9. 20+ Man Battle Royal - 1
10. Chris Candido vs. Artist - Slamboree - 1
11. Chris Candido vs. Crowbar - 3
12. Daphne and Crowbar vs. Chris Candido and Tammy Sytch - 1
13. Daphne vs. Crowbar - 0
14. Chris Candido vs. Artist vs. Daphne - 0
15. Chris Candido vs. Terry Funk - 5
16. Bam Bam Bigelow and Chris Candido vs. Kronic - 2
17. Triple Threat vs. Kronic and Buff Bagwell - 3
18. Buff Bagwell vs. Bam Bam Bigelow and Chris Candido - Handicap Match - 4

This homemade compilation features largely uninspired wrestling, but still manages to be fun in parts, if not altogether absurd in others. I've never been too big into Candido, and now he'll never get a chance to persuade me otherwise, but rediscovering his past work does make me appreciate some of his quirks a little more.

Artist and Psicosis started off with promise but eventually deteriorated due to silly interference by Paisely and Juvi. The first few matches are arguably the best on the tape, as bad angles and storyline plague most of the rest of it. Lash looks sloppy, but Chavo still had heart back then. It was cool seeing a modest Michael Modest stint, even if it only lasted a few shows. There was a scuffle with a bunch of guys after the second Chavo/Candido match that featured some of the most comical brawling I've ever seen up the aisle, not that the product at that time didn't incite genuine laughter on a weekly basis anyway.

The six-man tag team match, and six-way match were both about as big a mess as Tammy Sytch vomiting after a gin and chilidog binge. Paisely and Sytch were completely awful. The battle royal featured about 30 guys in was realistically one of the biggest messes in TV wrestling history. There were more egos than I could count, from Luger, Hogan, Sting, Jarrett, and Hart -- to mid-carders like Duggan, Hugh E. Rection, Norman Smiley, etc. I was excited to see the pay-per-view match between the Artist (great gimmick) and Candido, but it ended up being a major letdown.

Crowbar had a couple nice spots he'd always bust out, but was pretty rough around the edges. The three matches with Daphne, and seeing her win the men's cruiserweight championship, were horrid and I wouldn't even force my worst enemy to sit through them. The Candido versus Funk match is legendary -- you need this in your collection! They end up getting in the back of a truck in the middle of it, drove to a stable in the middle of Idaho, and brawling all over the place. Funk gets his face stuffed in manure, Candido bumps off of the stable through a table ass first, and here's the spot that makes this a certifiable classic... a horse kicks the shit out of Terry Funk! It's one of the most hilarious things I've ever seen; especially since it was unscripted and freaked Funk’s old ass out.

Even though Bam Bam looked a little sloppier than I'd like to admit, being a fan and all, I still thought the last couple matches helped bring the tape out of total mediocrity. Kronic sucks really, really hard though. Surprisingly, the handicap match was totally watchable, even if Buff cares more about his looks than craft, and Candido would have rather been eating pills instead of right hands.

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