Saturday, June 4, 2011

No Prom Date 17- A to Z ( a few quick words)

For far, far too long historians and theologians have pondered which letter of the alphabet is the best? It's so simple it should have pimp slapped them by now. You just compare pro wrestling matches with a wrestler representing each of the 26 letters and see what match was best! Am I the only one who sees it? Okay now I'll write words to go along with it.

Andre the Giant v. Abdullah the Butcher (Puerto Rico 1983)- 5
I don't care what anyone says, Andre was sent from the future, programmed to SELL.....Abby is Abby, before the ribs restaurant, after the waistline chesticles.....Short brawl, but fun to see two legends duke it out....Hugo is the bomb on commentary playing guy who's trying to act like he wasn't heel his whole career...

Marcus Bagwell (Handsome Stranger) v. Al Perez- 6
I officially dig all that Perez does.....he has like 6 unique ways to be on defense in an armlock that is more exciting than a shit-ton of ladder matches i've seen.....almost inconceivable Bagwell was even greener here than in WCW....Perez gave him inspiration for Buff Blockbuster by doing it running off the ropes

Neil Diamond Cutter v. Markus Crane (IWA MS Prince of the Death Match Finals)- 2
this was a ghastly display of stupidity and barbarism.....there is only about 35 people watching this....and these guys have ripped flesh using barb wire, light tubes, fish hooks and for what?.....both men took falls onto the wire ropes, face and crotch first....a few decent moves i saw, Krane hit a nice brainbuster and a back suplex but throw the rest of this in the trash like Ian's Taco Bell leftovers from last night's shift...okay the ending suplerplex that takes the barb wire X with him was sick...he won a flyer? seriously Ian? that's all the cash you could pony up?....i need to vomit now

Alexander Drago v. Nikita Allanov (July 18, 2009)- 1
This match happened 2 years ago....if i told you this video was from 1991, you'd think no different....Drago is a huge landfill that surely spends way too much time eating cruellers and watching Ice Road Truckers too much.....For every guy out there trying to make it to the WWE in the wrestling biz, there's guys like Allanov who do the bare minimum in their matches.....i didn't see a damn thing i liked in this

El Samurai/ Keiji Muto v. Genichiro Tenryu/ Koji Kitihara (WAR, 01/15/94)- 6
Sammy is one of my faves of all time, probably in a small he becomes a mistress for an ass kicking for most of it...but gets a hot sprint near the end.....i'd buy tickets for him/ Muto as a regular team...Muto and Tenryu worked it, Muto owned him like I used to my buddies on Rainbow Bridge in Super Mario Kart for SNES...

Masakatsu Funaki v. Minoru Suzuki (All Japan Champion Carnival Finals 2010)- 4
- picked up where they left off in 93 very well...Suzuki knows bum knees are okay in wrestling, so he left faux-MMA to pursue it.....match built on slaps and's hairstyle reminds me of my 2nd fav Batman:Animated Series ep where Riddler used the Maze of the Minotaur

Gary Goodridge v. Hong Man-Choi (K-1 Grand Prix 2008)- 3
Choi's a freak.....Goodridge should have to change his last name to pieced want a real fight, seek out Andre v. Sekiguchi from early 80's NJPW....

Lord Alfred Hayes v. Bobby Heenan (St. Paul, MN 01/13/80)- 6
have never seen his Lordship in ring action....creepy ginger curls, navy tattoos, and more fluid than the tides of the Atlantic Ocean....Heenan's bumps and Lord's bareknuckle boxer punches....fuck possible version of two non or former wrestlers match I've seen

Drew McIntyre v. Chris Masters (WWE Superstars 05/12/11)- 7
this was real good.....usually i sneer at a Segunda Caida suggestion for MOTY but damn I can't deny this....Masters sell of the leg was some of the ost convincing drama I've seen in a WWE ring in some time....loved all of Drew's quick vicious counters....false finish with setting up the DDT was lovely....see this immediately

Mickie James v. Tara (Steel Cage match TNA Impact)- 6
Tara plays wounded woman well....why do i always think these girls racks get bigger every time i see them....Mickie ain't holding back, love her kicks, punches could use some work.....Tara isn't scared to sell shit....Thez press was nuts, probably craziest spot i've seen since Elix cage walk in this fed

Kengo Kimura/ Seiji Sakaguchi v. Dick Murdoch/ Ed Leslie (New Japan 1984)- 4
nice little 13 min. package....Seiji played stand in-Inoki as in 1 not to fuck with....Kimura took a bevy of head splintering elbows...Leslie's blond hair and eye sore knee lift kept this from going any higher

Jim Londos v. Rudy Dusek (1932)- 3
Always read stuff about this guy in Meltzer's never ending columns on the pioneers of the sport...Youtube provides the footage that looks like played from a newsreel....guys likes fun submissions....side choke was nasty he wins with, makes Lesnar's look like training camp stuff..

Takeshi Morishima v. Nigel McGuinness (ROH Undeniable)- 6
great buildup....Mori's bumps don't look like everyone else's in ROH and I dig that.....Nigel still perfecting lariats and hair gel.....some weak spots but thought chemistry was at least as good as Freddie & Sarah Michelle's in Scooby Doo feature

Tomoaka Nakagawa v. Mercedez Martinez (Shimmer #31)- 5
running thumb to the eyes? i believe Piper would be proud.....Nakagawa is dynamic on offense, lands an enzugiri that puts Mercedez down like she just took a Perkiset to forget a really bad 1st date.....Mercedez may want to consult Joe on that fisherman buster execution but other than that, very fun bout

Olimpico/ Rey Bucanero v. Blue Panther/ Atlantis (CMLL 2005)- 5
Panther and Olimpico's opening run made me don a mask and vow to never take it off again....forgot i was doing a Glamourshots the next day....Bucanero couldn't get anything right and hated how he got so much time to shine later on....Atlantis was in slow mo, disappointing....Olimpico was looking great until he totally killed himself in a sick dive where he basically threw himself through the middle rope then powerbombed his own neck and compressed it over with the weight of his lower body folding on top.....Damn...glad they replayed it 3 more times

Adam Pearce v. Sean Waltman (Yuma,AZ NWA title)- 4
a match they could totally tour with.....Sean gets good face heat....old school piledriver finish? cooler than ice cream pudding would be...

Kevin Quinn v. Christopher Daniels (Windy City Wrestling)- 4
Daniels with a mullet and Quinn wearing Zubaz....not a good idea....nice dive early on.....guys have good chemistry...

Lord Steven Regal v. Rey Mysterio jr (WCW Nitro- Feb 97, Television Title)- 5
It's unfortunate the announcers found so many topics to talk about except this Regal string of near falls gets me hotter than Jolie nudes

Kensuke Sasaki v. Akitoshi Saito (NOAH 12-17-08)- 3
This has a run time of 38 minutes...thinking this will definitively tell me if Saito really has the goods......a ton of big guy posturing....tons of sloppy suplexes....sure Sasaki's clotheslines still scramble brains, but I was expecting tons more from this

Nanae Takahashi v. Meiko Satomura (Sendai Girls 05/09/10)- 7
Did Meiko steal her boyfriend or is Nanae just that intense?....people used to love those bumfight videos (i'm looking at you Steve) but have they ever seen this shit?......Takahashi performs one of my favorite moves, the back drop suplex like it's Beethoven's 5th....Nanae redirects her body during Meiko's suplex so she lands MORE on her neck....i'm fucking full on clapping in my living room

Ultimo Guerrero v. Mistico (1-26-11 CMLL)- 5
pre blue lights and this guy has lucharific ability not seen since Rey jr or Freelance.....Guerrero enjoys his power advantage....mask ripping nowhere near Liger-Sammy level but they're getting there......match structure feels disjointed like an Oliver Stone screenplay but highspots were as brilliant as Jonathan Tropper's "This is Where I Leave You,".....seriously read that book

Jose Vega v. Jarrod Card (Bellator 22)- 6
Damn.....I was settling in for a crazy bantam weight fight....nope....Vega blew through him like charlie sheen does a kilo of coke....sick knockout...i heart bellator

Wild Samoans/ Samu v. Swede Hanson/ Tony Garea/ Ken Jugan- 2
Love the Samoans'....didn't disappoint....only time limit did....Hanson dropkicks like a son of a bitch

X-Pac v. Al Snow (SD 2000)- 2
Regal commentating gave me a chuckle....sprint type pace with none of the high risk moves

Kazuo Yamazaki v. El Fantasma (1984)- 3
Kazuo impressed me on UWFI set...wanted to see some more....could have done w/o this....young boy with no muscle definition whatsoever....against a dude dressed like the Phantom, you know that Billy Zane vehicle from the 90's?.....or maybe you don't.....he worked a snug side headlock i know that....

Zorro/ Chessman v. Mesias/ Latin Lover (AAA 03/15/10)- 4
things to dig here....Zorro throwing himself, literally, into whatever he's doing....Lover's snap jabs.....things not to dig....Chessman's whole look.....trying 3 times to get a headscissors with Mesias right...botched Code red looked like a really unfun sex act


Brian said...

enjoyed this.. - glad to see some of my recommendations made it on.. - like to see some seedier indy and a GLOW match next time.. maybe an ECW TV bout for the sheer stench of it..

Jessie said... 1st, i wasn't going to do any tags....but switched it up....or a lot more of yours would have made it on....guess T and I were the winners