Chikara Land is Geo's home turf when he's not hitting the books or a sleazy indy show but thought i'd take a weekend trip there to visit this most pimped Ladder Match I hear about. Aw, shit, fucking GPS can't find the signal....
1) Icarus & Gran Akuma v. Helios & Lince Dorado- 3
Love Icarus' opening promo- where he says "There's a new faction here, called the Future is now, which is a false statement because right now isn't the future, it's the present." Not sure why this cracked me up but it def. tickled my funnybone. I'm not sure what this show has in store, one of the first spots is Ricochet w/ his Helios persona on, running into the corner where a camera was and spitting a very Steve Urkel-esque "Hello" before he did a somersault into Icarus. I can appreciate a Tony Jaa kick sequence as much as the next guy but Akuma looks like he'd rather take a nap than perform. Great surprise finish but some of the double teams were all for show, as both opponents barely contact the mat in any meaningful way. Decent opener
2) Brodie Lee & Grizzly Redwood v. Hallowicked & Fright mare- 3
Hated the opening spot where Fright mare's flip plancha took out both men; that he could knock Brodie down with that weak ass shit was dumber than the idea a publishing house was going to publish an OJ murder tell all. Flow of the match was fine, kind of digging Grizzly's workmanship but the face team, offensively were as impressive as my sister would have been, at the age of 6. Hallowicked's punches looked like he was in a wade pool at a waterpark, flailing around. Lee, again, completely underutilized his size, just falling after weak forearm shots.
3) Sara Del Ray v. Daizee Haze- 5
For some reason every time I see Sara i think of when we went to Philly for Misawa's big show and her running through the ridiculously crowded lobby and hopping onto some dude's back for a piggyback ride. Poor guy. Daize really could use to stiffen some of her stuff up, put some stank on some of her high flying shit. Good pace too, liked her last two athletic spots, but the missed plancha outside was a joke, and nowhere near as funny as Russell Brand on stage, just saying.
4) UltraMantis Black/ Crossbones v. Mike Quackenbush/ Jigsaw- 4
I'm not entirely sure of the sci-fi backstory that was evolving here, something about Dr. Cube and the secret of the Chikara special- god damn there was an unintetionally funny moment when Quack folds Black's arm behind his head like an elementary school bully, takes him outside and demands to know why he sold the secret out- after a few seconds Black relents the info and Quack brilliantly replies 'Well, that was easy," then goes back in the ring to work spots as a fat fan in the front row snickered and pointed at Black. As for the match, it never really left 1st gear until the smooth finishing spot so can't rate it too highly.
5) Stigma/ Colin Delaney v. Cheech & Cloudy- 4
I think i'm a generous soul giving this a 4, there was some really loose work here. Stigma sucks. The ripped jeans look went out when Kidman got trunks. Delaney was in control though, and he and Cloudy's long section was fun. Some really bad facials coming from Cheech & Cloudy, looked more like they were playing Black Ops online with friends than in a fight. Was getting annoyed at the extended ending but i'm a sucker for a spiked piledriver.
6) Larry Sweeney/ Mitch Ryder v. Los Ice Creams- 2
God damn some of this was uglier than coroner that performed Sweeney's autopsy. Just terrible strikes and elbows from Sweeney and Ryder. Ice Creams were all about comedy, mostly consisting of crying and pinching booty, so a typical Sat. night for most single people in today's dating scene.
7) Delirious v. Eddie Kingston- 3
Was this a rib? The announcers put this over as this amazing singles with all this drama but it was weak sauce. Jarritos soda has more punch than this bout. And why did Kingston have Samoa Joe's ridiculous tribal face paint on? Kingston also wore eyesore red leather pants and looked like a blind donkey trying to get his leg up high enough to kick at Delirious. Nasty suplex ending was best part. Skip it.
8) The Colony v. Osirian Portal- 5
This seems to have been a big deal, tag title change, really long match with tons of near falls. Give you some observations here. Have seen these two teams wrestle many times, all feeling similar but def. have good chemistry together. There's some stuff here though that i think works against what they're trying to accomplish. Example one is a double 450 splash that is sick but Colony kicks out; it's a catch 22 because it's an amazing near fall, but you run the risk of your actual finish not being able to top it, which happens here. Then you have the hypnotize spot, which doesn't work for a reason not given; why even bother using that as a spot when it just doesn't work on someone for no reason? Thought the psych of a lot of this just didn't make sense. Other than that, some smooth work, hard bumps but could have been pared down to maximum enjoyment.
9) Vin Gerard v. Equinox (Ladder Match)- 6
So this was pretty good- my one complaint, not even a complaint but an observation- why was this a ladder Match? There wasn't a whole lot where the ladders were needed. Equinox was stiff, laying in shots at every turn which I dug and was hoping to see on this whole show but never did. I wondered about the long leg work stuff from Gerard, which was good in it's own right but wasn't sure how the psych played into it. The ddt on the stairs and the unmasking, leading to the DVD on the ladder was some of the more intriguing and involved i've felt watching this promotion. Well done