Tuesday, December 19, 2006

WCW Starrcade '90

1 Z-Man v. Bobby Eaton- 3

2 Team South Africa (Col. Deklerk/ Sgt. Kruger) v. Team USA (Steiner Brothers)- 0 3 Team Britain (Chris Adams/ Norman Smiley) v. Team Mexico (Konnan/ Rey Misteric)- 1
4 Team New Zealand (Jacko Victory/ Rip Morgan) v. Team Japan (Great Muta/ Masa Saito)- 2
5 Team Canada (Troy Montour/ Bull Johnson) v. Team U.S.S.R (Victor Zangiev/ Salmon Hashmikov)- 0
6 Terry Taylor v. Michael Wall Street- 3
7 Skyscrapers v. Big Cat/ Motor City Madman-1
8 Freebirds v. Ricky Morton/ Tommy Rich- 3
9 Team Mexico (Misteric/ Konnan) v. Team USA (Steiner Brothers)- 1
10 Team Japan (Saito/ Muta) v. Team U.S.S.R (Zangiev/ Hashmikov)- 2
11 Stan Hansen v. Lex Luger (Bullrope Match)- 4
12 Doom v. Arn Anderson/ Barry Windham (Street Fight)- 6
13 Team Japan (Muta/ Saito) v. Team USA (Steiner Brothers)- 6
14 Sting v. Black Scorpion (Cage)- 3

Man, this was a massive card! We start out with Zenk-Eaton( which Zenk was on a 35 match winning streak as told by his info card before the match. Remember when stats made matches seem more real and important?) Anyways, the content itself was really ambitious and not everything worked. Both men could throw great punches and could sail from the top rope tremendously. If this was a tighter match, it could have been pretty good. Next, we have our international tag tournament. Steiners mauled this team from South Africa (of all countries, why did they get a team?), including a brilliantly no sold front flip from the "high flyer" of the team onto Rick outside. He held his legs at the ankle, as if just having fucked him from a sitting position and laughed. (reminds me of my first time.) Britain and Mexico got along as well as their food mixes inside the digestive system of a human being. Then, we had New Zealand(again, why that country?) who got crushed by an extrememly poised Japanese combo. And finally, the worst match of the show featuring four guys who really looked as lost as could be. The Ruskies got the duke after a flubbed 2 count. The crowd looked as stupified as Jim Ross did as he saw Paul Heyman sitting next to him, open up a Magic 8-ball and inject the liquid content into his veins.

Next, we have Wall Street and Taylor. They had a 8:32 time limit. Go figure. Very basic stuff. The Skyscrapers blew through their large opponents then played a game where they fought with their own sense of morality on trying to figure out if they wanted to break Madman's neck. The Freebirds had a face painted Jamaican transvestite with them at ringside. All 4 of these guys could punch and really work a good tag to a degree, but none of them exhibited the latter quality in this bland encounter. Mexico and USA locked up in a wretched affair and again Rick no-sold and laughed it off. The announce team found it proper to point out the massive bruise that had developed on Misteric's ass. Then, Japan and Russia traded a few Germans, but ultimately ended in non-fabulous fashion.

Luger was pulled like a stubborn horse to what became an alltogether mess with Hansen. It is rare you can see a US Hansen match, but after you do, you could see why he moved to Japan (also because he likes those little sushimi rolls and sex with underage, pale skinned women and he was already banned from the local teenage morgue.) The street fight was refreshing and ahead of it's time. Both teams potatoed each other and bled real good, just like in a real street fight! And just because it finished uglier than Hacksaw Duggan's wife doesn't mean they would stop fighting. Now, that's dedication! The Tourney finals finally injected some actual wrestling into the darned lost cause and kept me entertained with both teams showing off their vast array of suplexes and the size of their pricks. The main event had it's flaws: first, the Bruiser was the ref and he looked like a fucking mascot for Long John Silvers. Then, Flair(who was under the mask) desperately tried to wrestle like he was someone else and while I admire his attention to detail, why strive to be anyone else when you are already best in the world? Sting took a good cage bump, but even his crowd heat couldn't make this worthwhile.

Overall, a fun show to watch but quality wise, not the best.

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