Wednesday, December 27, 2006

WCW Starrcade 1998

This was, at least, the main event built up to be a big show: Undefeated Goldberg against Kevin Nash for the WCW Title. Can we stomach so much ego in one ring? We shall soon see!

1 Juvi Juice v. Rey Mysterio v. Billy Kidman- 8
Wow! This was freaking Icecapades Awesome! Okay, it was even better than seeing bad actors in costumes with ice skates on. Even still, these three seemed to glide across the ring with the greatest of ease and the most kick of ass of spots. It was really refreshing to see these guys again when they were still young and would try anything. Rey would just grab Juvi by the neck, like he was a bad German Shephard, and give him a hurricanrana out to the floor. One of the best three ways I've seen in recent memory. I would have like to see it get more time, but for the pace they kept, this was really appropriate.

2 Billy Kidman v. Eddie Guerrero- 5
Wow! Kidman wrestled again, but he was kind of a salty slug in this second match. But, matter not, because Eddie was deep in most heelish of moods- he had on cowboy boots, tight Levi's and a mullet that could choke a giraffe. There was some funny stuff with Rey hitting Juvi on the head with Eddie's boot on the outside, plus Juvi was wearing Eddie's leather jacket like he was his popular high school girlfriend. Both guys, in-ring, were hitting good stuff and Eddie was eventually pinned with a bomb ass Shooting Star. Great effort by all the guys involved, especially Kidman for hanging in there.

3 Norman Smiley v. Prince Ieakeau- 4
Everybody's favorite faux hardcore, screaming TNA jobber was in rare form in this Starrcade clinic. A match featuring two guys who combine a single fan's appreciation in the whole building got over 15 minutes to show their stuff… at Starrcade! Nash had the book; I guess he had an affinity for tiny wrestling shoes and Hawaiian dudes…much like I heard his wife does! Norman kind of just played with the Prince like they were in the Power plant before finally, eventually, pulling him into a Chicken wing. The finish was good, though.

4 The Cat v. Saturn- 2
We were discussing Saturn's failed singles career and then we realized the Cat had a pretty Shitay one himself. Sonny Onoo was at ringside doing his best impression of a moving Twinkie ( he was wearing a bright yellow ring coat.) This match was a joke, and the punchline was as funny as Scott Hall taking a dump on Sunny's hotel room food, well, wait a minute, that was pretty funny, okay, as funny as Scott Hall puking on Lex Luger on Nitro, well, hold on a second, that was damn funny as well, okay, it was as funny as Scott Hall's life falling apart.. Fine, the match was bad.

5 Brian Adams/ Scott Norton v. Fit Finlay/ Jerry Flynn- 4
If you're scratching your head looking at those 4 names, you're doing the same thing we were. This was an example of Bischoff over saturing New World Order to everyone. I thought this match had some potential in the stiffness department, but it was Finlay and Flynn that were pummeled.

6 Chris Jericho v. Konnan- 3
Jericho was pounded into dog food in a rather quick fashion in this throwaway, Nitro-esque match. Not a lot happened in this match; they went outside very briefly and put together some badly contrived spots with the steel steps, then they got back in the ring and Konnan got the duke.

'7 Eric Bischoff v. Ric Flair- 1
The setup for this match was the highest ratings Nitro had gotten in a while, when the Horsemen reformed- I guess someone( Bischoff/ Nash) thought it would be cool to do a match from it. Well, let me tell you, it reeked of stinktitude( if I may borrow a line from some second rate TNA talent). Flair got a few stiffy chops in on Easy E, but after that Curt Henning, in a bright blue tuxedo, showed up and gave Bischoff a "foreign object" that he used to beat Flair. Let's pause and accept this as wrestling reality and then move on.

8 The Giant v. Diamond Dalls Page- 5
I hadn't actually seen a DDP match in quite some time, but he still cared at this time in the game, luckily for us, because this match could have easily have been a long, slow, suicide thoughts ridden match. But, Page pulled some excitement out of Giant and Giant had to pull his knee out of Page's severed back after a sick backbreaker. They had a cool finish that I didn’t' see coming, as well as a Bret Hart run-in. Bret in WCW… God, there's so much material there, I just can't wrap my brain around it. He looked like I did in the 6th grade with high shorts and sneakers on. Maybe he thought it was recess, or thought he would revert back to childhood and pretend he didn't have a cow of a wife and a bad career going.

9 Kevin Nash v. Goldberg- 5
The historic streak ended, due to Nash's own politicking and he got the belt at the end of this match. It wasn't long, nor was it bad per se. Neither guy had much emotion in their sells; the only one Nash even made a facial for was when he was legitmately hurt from a rib breaker. Disco, Bamm Bam and Hall all had a hand in interfering, which brought down the score a little bit; as well as the scowling contest the two wrestlers had in the ring, which I'm sure is better than the Bratwurst eating blowjob event that would take place later that night with a pound of frozen dogs and the Nitro Girls. But, the crowd surprisingly erupted when the match was over, even if WCW had just washed their biggest draw down the toilet. It went down the drain much easier than Luger's murder weapon would a few years later.

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