Tuesday, December 5, 2006

WCW Starrcade 1995

Starrcade was WCW's crown jewel of PPV; they had been doing the event since 1983 and was their longest running and richest in history. We have decided to review as many of those shows as possible, for you (keep that in mind) during the month of December since that was when it was featured. In 95, the show mostly consisted of WCW v. New Japan matches, for the World Cup of Wrestling. Goooooooooooooooooooal! That's the World Cup of Soccer, sorry.

1 Chris Benoit v. Jushin Liger- 5-

Benoit is the master of the art of making a match look like a fight. He slammed Liger harder than usual ( very un-WWE like) on all of his top moves and Liger silently cursed his name under his cool mask with weird hair growing from it. They tried to pack in all that they do in their usual classics into a tight ten minute affair and it blew up at the end, in a badly botched hurricanrana pin. Kevin Sullivan and Jimmy Hart showed up too; just to add to the bad hair affair (hey, Benoit was sporting his wet mullet during this.)

2 Koji Kanemoto v. Alex Wright-3

This match was drawn out longer than the first one, with none of the impact. Wright looked like a goof and had no fire in anything he did, including an overshot plancha. His aim was even worse the night he was jerking off in a hotel room and it fired into Disco Inferno's mouth, at least by Wright's point of view; Disco was moderately happy. Kanemoto's wasit sash was the balls, and so was his Pescado to the outsdie. He won in rather lackluster fashion and the fans cheered.

3 Masa Chono v. Lex Luger- 3

Two of the bigger stars on the card and they exchanged a lot of kicks, none of which had much merit. Brian and I were watching Luger sell; everytime he got hit, he screamed and strechted that horse face out, without really showing where the pain was coming from, then brief seconds later, his expression was blank again (like when he thought Liz had just passed out due to coke overdose; of course, he was high he forgot he had stabbed her with a knife.) Regardless, the finish to this came out of nowhere and was the only thing the crowd liked in it. That's makes one of us.

4 Johnny B. Badd v. Masa Saito- 5

This matchup was interesting. After watching a variety of old tapes over the last year or so, I realize Badd could actually work. Saito is a surly old prick who would probably rather be sitting at home in his underwear, watching young naked Geishas on TV, but chose to stick around wrestling a little bit longer, so everyone else must pay the price. He and Badd got into a slap fest that rivaled anything I'd seen on Jackass and resulted in Saito getting the better of it. This ended in a countout, but the match kept right on going despite the fact, when Badd overshot a flip over the top bigger than Wright did earlier. A laughout loud moment, for sure, (which is more than I can say for the last couple Jim Carrey flicks.)

5 Eddie Guerrero v. Shinjiro Ohtani- 6

This was the best match of the night. Both guys actually built the match up to it's properly executed climax, all parties were happy, then they had a cigarette and discussed ex girlfriends. Eddie pulled off every move crisply and Ohtani's springboards are my Cream- atorium. ( I just came up with that; email me if it works.) It was funny because the announcer's dubbed these guys as the next generation of their respective promotions and to see how their careers ended up is a pleasure, because at least professionally, they have been very successful.

6 Hiroyoshi Tenzan v. Randy Savage- 2

Savage was the champ and he merely got worked over in this boring waste of time. He made no comeback; only hitting a fucked up suplex attempt over the top rope and the sloppiest, most protected elbow of his career. He may as well have slapped a couple Trojans over that bad boy because his feet hit the ground first and he even missed the elbow and pinned him with a flying rib smash. A first, and definitley a last.

7 Kensuke Sasaki v. Sting- 5

This match, upon further thinking, had some intensity. Sting also got the crowd into this match, and while shorter than I would have liked, had things that worked. Sasaki's neo Japanese punk boy hair cut was not one of them, but his over the shoulder throw was. Come to think of it, Sting's hair was a little Beverly Hills Jason Preistly and kind of distracted me later in the show. But, nonetheless, the finish was very satisfying and the crowd ate spoonfuls.

8 Lex Luger v. Ric Flair v. Sting- 4

This was a triangle match and the winner got a Title shot immediately afterwards. Whoever came up with this strange card should lay off the hashesh. It's flow made no sense, but anyways, this match had three guys that were uber-familiar with each other but really didn't show it. Flair settled in for the long haul and bumped big early for the powerhouses, then tagged out and rested on the apron. Sting was the glue that barely held this together, but ultimately wobbled and fell apart. A double countout finish abided this ego fest and gave Flair his Get out of Jail card to fight Savage.

9 Randy Savage v. Ric Flair- 4

These two men showed nothing of their past encounters and the match was pretty bland until the end. The crowd wasn't really into it, nor where the competitors. Flair bladed majorly at the end for a megaphone shot( Jimmy Hart managed him and Luger the same night? What the fuck?), then the Horsemen came in and secured Flair the win. They said it was his 12th World Title, but what totally overshadowed it was Brian Pillman ripping the belt from Flair's hands to mercilessly whip Savage with it! It was crazy and hilarious. So, an historic milestone in Flair's career capped off a oddly booked and very standard show.

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