Tuesday, December 19, 2006

WCW Starrcade 1990

Oh my God! It’s the Black Scorpion!! … And he seriously sucks.

1) Bobby Eaton vs. Tom Zenk – 4
This was an entertaining bout that had it’s share of miscues. There was a nice suplex on the ramp and Jim Ross compared Eaton to a NASA satellite. Hmmm. Eaton won with a small package after Zenk missed a top-rope dropkick. A good opener that set a decent pace.

2) The Steiner Brothers (Team USA) vs. Sgt. Krueger & Col. DeKlerk (Team South Africa) – 2
This was the first round of the Pat O’Connor Tag Team Tournament (hereby referred to as the POC3T) and it was a total squash. Krueger and DeKlerk were supposedly from South Africa and made the trip only to get their asses beat by the Steiners. I forget who tried a top rope dive on Rick Steiner on the floor but it didn’t work as Steiner just kinda caught him and did nothing.

3) Norman Smiley & Chris Adams (Team England) vs. Rey Misterio & Konnan (Team Mexico) – 3
Another first round match in the POC3T. This was somewhat competitive and it was cool to see Smiley before he started screaming. Misterio’s name was misspelled on the graphic as “Misteric”. This did not belong on a pay-per-view. Misterio and Konnan advance to the delight of no one.

4) Jacko Victory & Rip Morgan (Team New Zealand) vs. The Great Muta & Mr. Saito (Team Japan) – 3
The third first round match in the POC3T. Victory and Morgan fought the good fight but alas, it twas not to be as they were squashed by Muta and Saito. I still have no idea on how New Zealand was decided upon for the tourney.

5) Danny “Bull” Johnson & Troy Montour (Team Canada) vs. Victor Zangiev & Salmon Hashimikov (Team USSR) – 2
The final first round POC3T match. The USSR contingent look like they have no pro training whatsoever except for the basics. I have no idea about the Canadian fellows. Crowd was really dead for this. The Russians advance to face Muta and Saito later.

6) Terry Taylor vs. Michael Wallstreet – 4
This had potential to be good but since both men are still working their same routine this doesn’t make it above the mid-card. Also, I need to point out that the York Foundation gimmick where the computer was used to formulate a gameplan against the opponent was pretty lame. Anyway, they kept it pretty basic here and the end result was a satisfying match that was won by Wallstreet.

7) The Skyscrapers (Sid Vicious & Dan Spivey) vs. The Big Cat & The Motor City Madman – 1
Big Cat is Curtis Hughes and after doing some research, I still have no idea who the Madman is. Anyway, this was a squash and Sid didn’t sell shit. Afterwards, the Skyscrapers choke Paul E. for fun during an interview.

8) Tommy Rich & Ricky Morton vs. The Freebirds – 4
Just like the opener and the Taylor/Wallstreet match, this had the potential to be good but it quickly became a mess. The match was just over six minutes and that was nowhere near long enough for these four to have a good match. There were also four guys in the ring at the time of the pinfall and I’m not exactly sure why.

9) The Steiner Brothers (Team USA) vs. Rey Misterio & Konnan (Team Mexico) – 2
And we’re back to the POC3T. Another squash for the Steiners as they move on in the tourney.

10) The Great Muta & Mr. Saito (Team Japan) vs. Victor Zangiev & Salmon Hashimikov (Team USSR) – 3
This is the other POC3T semi-final. Muta and Saito work the Soviets over and barely break a sweat to advance on to face the Steiner in the finals.

11) Lex Luger vs. Stan Hansen – Bullrope Match – 4
It’s usually a pleasure to see Hansen work high profile matches in the States but this was not one of them. They brawl outside the ring for the majority of the match. A ref bump later and Luger regains the US title. Nothing really notable except that Luger would end up being world champion in six months.

12) Barry Windham & Arn Anderson vs. Doom – Street Fight – 5
This was an awesome, old-school brawl. All four got busted open and just beat the crap out of each other for ten minutes straight! The finish came when Windham pinned Simmons and Anderson pinned Reed at the same time. The bout was eventually ruled a no contest but they just kept fighting. Definitely a classic matchup but the finish brought the score down.

13) The Steiner Brothers (Team USA) vs. The Great Muta & Mr. Saito (Team Japan) – 4
It’s the finals of the POC3T and did you really expect Team England to make it all the way? If you didn’t see this matchup coming then you need to stop reading right now. The teams got briefly stiff with each other but in all honesty, it didn’t go over too well. The Steiners won after Rick pinned Saito and were presented a gigantic trophy for beating two unknowns and a hard-ass Japanese contingent. Muta and Saito were presented with $20 gift certificates to Sushi World.

14) Sting vs. Black Scorpion (Ric Flair) – Cage Match – 4
This is the climax to perhaps one of the most infamous and craptastic angles of all time. I actually own a tape that has nothing but the interviews, matches, and vignettes that made up this angle. The reason this is being held in a cage is because numerous Scorpion impersonatators have interfered with Sting’s matches. Dick the Bruiser, who has a vague resemblance to Popeye, is also the referee for … um, yeah … I can’t think of a reason for him to be involved. The Scorpion came out to the ring in this really dumb spaceship after about five other people dressed as the Scorpion came to the ring. Anyway, the whole match is Flair trying to wrestle like he’s not Flair because the guy they picked for the role, a wrestler known as The Angel of Death, backed out at the end. Sting took some good cage bumps but not enough to salvage this match. Afterwards, there’s a huge run-in by the Horsemen and mega assault on Sting. Steiners come out with bolt cutters and break into the cage. Scorpion is revealed to be Flair as the show ends.

There’s really not much left to say about this one. The tag tournament took up the bulk of the show and everything around the first half was filler. The street fight and cage match are pretty interesting to watch, if nothing else.

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