Wednesday, April 12, 2006

HWA War Games 12/2003

1. Big Jim vs. Ala Hussein - 3
2. Hussla vs. Mike Desire - 3
3. 80-Man Battle Royal - 3
4. AJ Sparkx vs. Hellana Heavenly - Hardcore Match - 2
5. Crazy J and Lotus vs. Jt Stahr and TJ Dalton - 4
6. Team B.P.W. vs. Team H.W.A. - War Games - 4

Big Jim is a big joke, and a big insult to wrestling fans' intelligence. My buddies and I used to vocally assault Hussla at H.W.A. shows all the time. He looks like he should be a gas station attendant, not a pimp. I don't buy him as a wrestler, nor I would I buy prostitutes from him. The 80-man battle royal was a disaster of epic scale--maybe live it would have been enjoyable to witness, but they only use one camera angle on the DVD, and it's nearly impossible to see anything whatsoever. The woman's hardcore match was absolute junk. 5 years ago when I was working at a movie theatre, Heavenly would come in without makeup, wearing sweats, and looking about as attractive as Dino Bravo. I don't buy her as attractive, and I definitely don't buy her as a professional wrestler. Get back to your couch, bitch! The tag match was easily the best on the card, which isn't saying anything. I have a couple friends who worked an independent show in Indiana with Louts and J, they're apparently real douchebags. Then, one night after an R.O.H. show in Dayton, I ran into one of them at a Denny's and he approached my entourage and started shaking hands, trying to put himself over like he was Ric fucking Flair. Anybody using Insane Clown Posse references as gimmicks should be given the "Bruiser Brody Puerto Rico Special" if you catch my drift; if you need a hint, let's just stay knives are easily accessible. All kidding aside, to my more impressionable fans, I’m not advocating their murder—but I’m definitely not a fan. The "War Games" was a mess of epic proportions, much like former H.W.A. owner Les Thatcher's underwear after seeing what became of his former federation.

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