Wednesday, October 26, 2005

WWF World Tour 1992 Video

Lord Alfred Hayes opens the tape in front of Big Ben and informs us of what’s in store for us for the next few hours. He checks back at Big Ben and informs us that it’s time for action.

1) The Mountie vs. The Texas Tornado - 3
An insanely terrible match between these two. Mountie does the usual heel tactics with stalling and such. Unfortunately, we don’t get to hear his signature “IYAMMDAMOUNNNTIEEE” scream. Tornado was nearing the end of his somewhat successful WWF run and would disappear shortly after the 1992 Royal Rumble. Mountie hung around for a bit longer. Slow paced match and Mountie wins with his feet on the ropes.

Al and Bobby are in the Queen’s Box of the Royal Albert Hall. Bobby mentions that he needs to use the throne. Funny segment.

We move into a profile of the British Bulldog, who happens to be one of my all time favorites. The ending of a battle royal is shown with Typhoon, Mountie, and Bulldog in the ring. Looked to be a pretty good match but they only showed the end. Anyway, Bulldog wins by eliminating Typhoon. Alfred then sits down with the Bulldog and his parents. They yack about how he ate steak and milkshakes to get as big as he is. Dear God, I hate these segments! By the way, you don’t get muscle mass from eating those foods, you get fat from eating those foods! I guess they figured that the people watching wouldn’t be smart enough to figure that out.

2) The British Bulldog vs. Irwin R. Schyster - 5
Suprisingly good match. Usual quality performance from both competitors here with lots of near falls. The crowd was seriously behind the Bulldog, being that the match was in Europe and was hot for the entire match.

Another mind polluting segment with Al and the Bulldog. This time they are at a school where they claim the Bulldog attended as a child. Yeah, whatever … next!

3) The British Bulldog vs. Earthquake - 2
Well, that wasn’t worth much. Bulldog comes out with Andre who at this point in time could barely stand let alone walk without a crutch. Bulldog wins after Andre whacks Quake in the back.

We return to Lord Alfred who is in front of Buckingham Palace and informs us that we are now going to visit El Matador at home. Dammit! Does anyone else get the sensation that I’m getting very frustrated with this tape so far?

El Matador yacks about family history and gets edited into a bullfight. Who cares!!! Corny? Yes. Worthwhile? No. Let’s move along.

4) Rowdy Roddy Piper vs. The Barbarian - 3
At least they kept it short and sweet. Not much to see here and the standard outing from these two. Piper sold Barbarian’s moves like a car dealer.

Next, we are graced with a battle royal that is joined in progress. Clipped matches don’t get shit in my book but they do warrant a brief once over. Ten guys are in the ring when we join the bout. Who were they? I’m glad you asked because I have no idea. Eventually, we get down to Bulldog, Slaughter, Mountie, and … Jerry Saggs? Anyway, Bulldog wins again by eliminating The Mountie. It seems to me that this has become a Bulldog love fest.

5) Bret Hart vs. Rick Martel - 5
Very solid match here as Bret and Martel show that technical wrestling is not dead. Even though it’s the standard fare from both men, it’s probably the best match presented thus far on this video. Martel proves that he belongs in the IC title ranks and doesn’t need a stupid male model gimmick to get him there. Good effort.

6) Randy “Macho Man” Savage vs. Shawn Michaels - 4
Michaels comes out with Sherri and you can automatically assume that she’ll be involved. Some nice spots start off and get the crowd into it. Savage is selling a knee injury here and is actually guilty of overselling it at some points. Michaels works the knee for pretty much the whole match. Sherri interferes quite a bit and that really brought down the rating on this one. Overall, not a bad showing from either person here.

Lord Alfred leaves us with some parting thoughts by the Thames River.

Unlike most of these tapes, which contain terrible matches, this one was actually quite good. Three solid outings, especially Hart vs. Martel, make this a watchable tape. However, it’s still filled with the lame segments about superstar backgrounds and all this other garbage. Hart vs. Martel was really good but doesn’t warrant any special recognition nor does it help with the overall product. Not recommended.

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