Jake “The Snake” Roberts vs. Shinya Hashimoto – (NJPW 9/23/93) – 4

I downloaded this out of morbid curiosity. You know what they say, right? Curiosity killed the cat – but Edwin fucked it. But, I digress. Jake is rocking a tubby gut, and Shinya sports man tits, so this is a real fleshy treat. Actually, it lasts less then 10 minutes, and not much happens. They’re both going for front facelocks throughout, which is good psych, as it plays into the story Roberts just wants to hit his patented DDT and get the hell out of Japan as quickly as possible. But, Hashimoto knows better, he caught an episode of WWF Superstars one morning after crashing on Jumbo Tsuruta’s couch in Yamanashi after a night of heavy drinking. Shinya was the first of the group to pass out, so of course, that rascal Yoshiaki Tatsu laid his nuts on Shinya’s face whilst he slept, and the Polaroid image is floating around the Internet to this day. Long story short, Hashimoto won, unconvincingly, then ran to the back as Roberts unveiled an albino snake he flopped around the ring limply like it was his pud while he watched his daughter’s scenes from Beyond the Mat.