Great American Bash '88: The Price for Freedom

This is when wrestling was wrestling- this crowd was super hot all night long, as if someone promised the loudest fans a million dollars at the end of the night

1) Sting/ Nikita Koloff v. Arn Anderson/ Tully Blanchard- 7

the match started out in a pier sixer, for you Gordon Solie marks, with Sting and Tully bitchslapping each other. This trend continued throughout the whole match, as neither guy seemed to give an inch against the other. Anderson was smoother than a frappachino during this one and kept a great pace. Nikita bumped like a madman especially on an Arn DDT that made me squirt. They had complete control of the momentum of this match and they took the fans on a roller coaster ride before settling on a Dusty finish that actually worked. I'd be remissed if I didn't mention Sting's Balls to the Wall plancha that set me on fire so bad I wanted to paint me and my friends' faces right then and there.

2) Midnight Express v. The Fantastics- 8

I hope I'm not jocking Brian's review but he made a great point to me yesterday after watching this tape; the higher the points we give, the bigger recommendation we are making for YOU to see this match. Well, I have to put my stamp on this one as my favorite match of the show because it best exemplifies tag team wrestling to all the morons writing the weekly sports entertainment programs these days. Both teams had matching trunks and chemistry Albert Einstein couldn't create. The Fantastics gel better than Siamese twins here, everything they do compliments each other and they have some really neat spots where they tandemly whoop ass. When whipped into each other, they both do a baseball slide, meet each other's feet then kick off each other and kick the Midnights. It was fanta….man, that would have been horribly unoriginal. Glad I avoided that. Stan Lane pulled Tommy Rogers off a pin from the outside and powerslammed him on the concrete. Now, Tell me you would rather watch another Carlito's Cabana that that shit and I'll have you committed. The pace and the electricity in this was frenetic, absolutely full tilt boogie and it was a treat to see. The finish was your usual 80's foreign object spot but it was the only thing that felt like retread in the match.

3) Tower of Doom Match: (Kevin Sullivan, Mike Rotunda, Ivan Koloff, Al Perez, & Russian Assassin v. Jimmy Garvin, Ron Garvin, Dr. Death & Road Warriors) - 5

This match got extra points for just being so damn strange and something each and everyone one of you should witness. This was the original 3 tier cage you saw in that shitty WCW produced flick "Ready to Rumble." Okay, maybe you didn't see it but don't worry, you're not in the minority! Anyways, two teams had a guy come in after 5 minute periods through a small cage at the very top. After each period, trap doors would open on each level and you could escape down until you got the ring where Precious, who was barely wearing a top, would let you out. The pysch of the match was pretty hard to swallow and the first cage looked like an overcrowded prison cell someone had just thrown a steak into. There really wasn't much you could do except throw sloppy punches and hope you didn't trip. Ivan took some nasty back sells onto the mesh floor but other than that, not a lot happened. The match ended unceremoniously as Sullivan locked himself and Precious inside the cage so he could maul her like a badger. Hawk and Jimmy Jam scaled the ladder and went through the whole cage again just to save her and Hawk completely decapitated Sullivan with his flying clothesline. Trust me: That clothesline was nothing to fuck with.

4) Barry Windham v. Dusty Rhodes- 5

A wildly different match than we had seen all night, while the first 7 minutes or so was pretty good stuff including a nasty front somersault bump over the top rope to the concrete floor below by Windham, they worked a Von Erich claw spot for over half of the match. Dusty played a comeback up better than even Stallone could and the fans were digging it a lot. It was strange watching a rest hold take up most of a match's time but it didn't hinder my viewing of it. I had magazines in the bathroom I could have looked at, but the match didn't lost my interest plus they are mostly my wife's and I really don't care who Nicole Richie is dating as long as it isn't me. We had a Ron Garvin heel turn (?) which Dusty sold like ice water to someone roasting in Hell.

5) Ric Flair v. Lex Luger- 5

It's always a delicious treat to get to watch Flair in his prime but surprisingly Luger was an agile, fun babyface during this and had a very confident smile on that horseface the whole time. Luger's dropkicks looked really springy and Flair knew how to sell every nuance of it. You could see in his head he was constantly working out a game plan and that's one of the reasons Flair was so successful. In the botch of the night, Luger tried to tackle Flair over the top rope in what ended up looking like two men trying to have sex while falling out of an airplane. The finish was bad too, and it was of the Dusty variety. Luger did a completely obvious blade job that the camera caught and the Athletic State Commission of Maryland stopped the match but Luger's blood was equal to that of a child's skinned knee after wrecking on his bike. Flair's chops were as golden as ever and I think even stopped Luger's heart at one point like when Elizabeth's heart stopped after Luger shot a needle of cocaine into his cock and ear fucked her. I heard that online.