Thursday, October 18, 2007

TNA 2 Hour Impact Debut- 10/04/07

TNA 2 hour Impact Debut- 10/04/07

TNA expanding to two hours is something hardcore wrestling fans have been clamoring for, thinking this will surely help them climb up WWE's giant wall of sports entertainment supremacy. Of course, two hours doesn't impress me if they are both as equally bad as the old one hour show. but, we review matches here, so let's do it....
1)Rhino v. Black Reign- 2
This match had no heat, Reign looked blown up before first commercial break and Rhino's offense was as pussified as ever. This guy actually used to be feared? i thought this was a lousy match to put on first and both men further cemented my point. Dustin was a great competitor at one time (check out his performer analysis if you don't believe me) but those days are far gone, as the days when Terri Runnels would put his gold face paint on with her vagina skin. a poor, poor effort.
2) Jackie Moore v. Gail Kim- 2
if you're going to have a women's division, oh, sorry a "Knockouts" division, show fans you actually care and let them wrestle This was shorter than Jerry Jarrett's remaining lifespan. and these two women can actually go, but not that we had time for that when there was a voodoo queen and a playboy model to get involved. another waste.

3) Team 3D v. Team Pacman- 0
How many times do i have to write how stale the Dudleys are? Even they know it, you can tell by watching them. D-von used to grease up his incredibly distracting large man boobs, but he doesn't even do that anymore. Adam "Pacman" Jones is a prime example of why TNA doesn't know how to run a "wrestling" company because they give a buttload of money to a football player who got suspended and he isn't even allowed to make physical contact with another wrestler, and the kick in the nuts is the fans know it! So, why even put his stupid, no emotion ass out there? Ron Killings has some good skills, but again, complete waste of time. This match was atrocious, even by fairgrounds indy standards. The gags they were using haven't worked since the Bushwhackers were rookies. I'm embarrassed to have watched the animated "Pac-man series" now.

4) Gauntlet Battle Royal- 5
This wasn't bad. I think the reason it wasn't was because you had a surprise winner, you had a lot of guys who don't get a lot of ring time, and it had absolutely no reason for happening therefore nothing was at stake and they didn't care to let them go out and have a decent match. Eric Young looks like he took a Ben & Jerry's vacation. The match was well paced and there were some false finishes. A lot of the eliminations come out of nowhere and you didn't know who was going out next so that was fun.

5) LAX/ Junior Fatu/ Samoa Joe v. XXX/ AJ Styles/ Christian Cage- No Grade
Unfortunately, i cannot grade this because i didn't see all of it, my DVR cut out, but what i saw was more like the match that would have opened up any TNA show a couple of years ago. A fast paced match with a lot of cool spots and a lot of young talent, (Save for Rikishi who was wearing a jock strap that said "Bootylicious") AJ looked well motivated and this made me actually want to see a Christian match again, when he fights Joe at the PPV.

the Kurt Angle-Sting video segments were some of the most insipid pieces of video i have seen in some time. Kurt Angle believes his wife when she says Sting slapped her (ever heard of instant replay?) so in retaliation, he STALKS Sting's high school football player son at his football game. ???????????????????????? These vignettes come off as creepy and borderline criminal. and did anyone think that Angle might get his ass whipped if he messes with a high school football player, not to mention his large group of friends (the rest of the team?). you telling me crippled, coked out Kurt Angle can dismantle an entire high school football team? not in his wildest dreams. as long as TNA continues to put on such unmitigated, brainless and completely un-entertaining shlock like this, they will remain 2nd rate.

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