Sunday, July 22, 2007

WWF MSG Show- 01/31/92

This is another MSG show that likewise would have never been seen by me unless tape trader extradonaire Adam hadn't siphoned it through the magical mail system that secretly runs our country.

1 Kerry Von Erick v. Rick Martel- 3
It pained me to see childhood favorite Von Erich look like a semi full of dog shit and dope ran over him, then dropped their contents onto and into his face and body. I tried to get into the match, but it was painful to see such a skilled performer struggle with their own fateful addiction.

2 Superfly Snuka v. Shawn Michaels- 5
This was a treat- Michaels when he first started doing his singles run( with some god awful Orchestral music intended to make him seem extremely cocky, when all it did was make him seem extremely light in the pants) and Snuka who was probably on his last good run( and wearing boots that looked to be made of the beak and feather of Toucan Sam). Michaels was still green at singles because he never taunted the crowd and showed any heel aspects, just worked a tested veteran. Supes held this match together for a decent showing.

3 Sid v. Mountie- 2
I give this a 2 simply because of the pleasant way Sid powerbombed Mountie's afternoon turd through his gaping wide mouth.

4 Hercules v. Warlord- 1
This was as excruciatingly rigid as you would think. Neither man showed they could stretch their bodies well enough to properly sell a punch(Warlord) or a off the ropes clothesline (Warlord) or for that matter, a back rear chinlock (Warlord), or even a decent big man shoulder block sequence (Warlord and Hercules.)

5 Sgt. Slaughter/ Hacksaw Duggan v. Nasty Boys- 2
Thankfully, this was short and full of reared back right hands that Stevie Wonder could have seen coming. Neither team showed they were familiar with their partners. Bad Tag work.

6 Chris Walker v. Kato- 2
This was WWF's attempt at an "upstart" match, which during the beginning was halfway decent, but turned into a total mess. Walker botched a leapfrog and landed, sack first, on top of Kato's dark mask. Good thing it was dark. I heard Walker was known for leaving stains.

7 Bret Hart v. Undertaker- 6
Finally, (besides the cheap finish, which I'm pretending didn't happen and this wasn't a demoted 7 like in real life) two guys went into MSG and said "Let's knock the hell out of each other and use some psychology because after all we are getting paid for this and the fans want to see some great action." Then, that decrepit little troll Paul Bearer said "Quick, someone give me a Snickers. My pants are down and they are staying that way until I get what I want." Then, Taker and Bret looked at each other and simultaneously ran to a vending machine and bought every Snickers in it. Then, they came out and had the kick ass match I was referring to.

8 Virgil v. Repo Man- 3
I wonder which of these two has the better MySpace Page? I know which one has the better aftersell- hint: he never pretended to be a "Smasher>whatever the fuck that is anyways?"

9 Randy Savage v. Jake Roberts-
3 Granted, this isn't a classic nor did either man really stretch themselves, but if you grew up around the time of this fued, you know it ruled everything else that was happening at the time. It was really gritty and emotional TV- some of both of their best work. Snake works a beautiful psych game in this match, selling Savage's pinpointed axhandles like they were meant to be and both men tease the DDT like they were avoiding a sealed letter full of anthrax. I liked parts of this match, even if I can't recommend it overall.

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