1. Carlito vs. Chris Masters – 5
2. Umaga vs. Ric Flair – 3
3. Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus – 2
4. Shelton Benjamin vs. Rob Van Dam – 7
5. Big Show vs. Kane – 2
6. Vince and Shane McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels and God - 5
7. John Cena vs. Triple H vs. Edge – 6
The youngsters Carlito and Masters mustered up an opener worthy of watching, complete with Masters’ powerbomb on the turnbuckles, a spot he doesn’t break out too often. Umaga destroyed Flair, essentially a squash, deserving of a little credit for Umaga’s physicality. James and Trish were on the path to perfunctory, until Trish suffered a legit injury, blowing out her shoulder taking a stupid bump to the floor. Shelton and Van Dam tore it up, taking match of the night honors, in a competitive and compelling bout. They gave this one some time, RVD bled from his face, and I was perfectly content, much like Shawn Michaels was when he coerced Bret Hart’s wife to let him jerk off in her mouth, seven months prior to her husband’s WWF departure. Big Show and Kane’s matched ended abruptly, and oddly, when Kane started hearing voices, which were supposedly in his head, although everyone in the crowd could also hear them over the public address system. Speaking of that aforementioned scum, Shawn Michaels, here he and his equally fake partner God battled the millionaire McMahon’s. Michaels tried to compensate for the utterly reprehensible storyline by working hard; he bled decently, killed Shane with a somersault, and even went flying off of the entrance stage with Vince through some elaborate structure posed as otherwise. Near the end, Shawn “leapt”, and I use the term lightly, as he basically fell, off of a gigantic ladder onto the awaiting Spirit Squad on the floor. The end of this train wreck featured more interference than OJ Simpson’s trial. The main event, pitting the current big time players in the industry, was enjoyable overall. It was basically little more than a brawl, but an entertaining one, with Edge being the weak link in my opinion. You could definitely do without ever seeing this show, but if you’re into intelligence insulting, subtly homosexual, poorly written and worse conceived sports entertainment than by all means buy it immediately.
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