Thursday, September 29, 2005

WWF Global Warfare Video (1993)

The tape opens with Jimmy Hart yapping incessantly and we go to the first match …

1) Crush vs. Shawn Michaels - 4
A semi-decent match to include on this tape. Being the Michaels fan that I am, I’m always on the lookout for a good match. This is not one of his best, though. It’s a house show match from Europe, so you can’t really expect anything more.

2) Yokozuna vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan - 2
Why was this match even included on this tape? I’m not even going to waste space on notes for this one. The best thing about this is that a French crowd chanted “U-S-A” for Duggan.

Jimmy Hart returns to talk about songwriting and introduces our next match …

3) The Steiner Brothers vs. Money Inc. - 4
A somewhat decent match between these two teams. Money Inc. consisted of Ted DiBiase and Irwin R. Schyster (I.R.S.) and they were starting to near the end of their year-long domination of the tag team division. The Steiners would eventually capture the titles in the late summer of 1993 after DiBiase and Irwin went their separate ways.

4) Mr. Perfect vs. Samu - 4
While Mr. Perfect constantly delivers solid performances, the same can’t be said about Samu. Whoever had the brilliant idea of putting Samu in a singles match needs to have their employment rethought. Trying to get a decent singles match out of Samu is like trying to get a cat to fetch a stick, it just doesn’t happen.

Jimmy returns and this time he’s on his deck doing a lame white-boy jam to really cheesy music.

5) Bret Hart vs. Bam Bam Bigelow - 3
Yes, there is such a thing as a bad Bret Hart match and this one is living proof of it. Like I mentioned before, this is a house show match in Europe, so you can’t really expect any classics at this point.

6) Crush vs. Doink - 3
For the record, Doink ruled the earth as a heel. That being said, I was somewhat expecting this to be a good match because I rather enjoyed their contest at WrestleMania 9. Doink bails at Crush gets the cheap C-O win.

More Jimmy Hart. I’ve given up at this point to even try to figure out what he’s talking about.

7) Scott Steiner vs. Irwin R. Schyster - 3
Pretty much a rehash of the earlier tag team contest, not that it was bad by any means. Steiner and Irwin are mainly tag wrestlers so it really makes no sense to me to put two tag wrestlers against each other in a singles match.

8) The Undertaker vs. Yokozuna - 1
Two words: pure garbage! Nothing more, nothing less. Yoko hits UT with the salt bucket for a DQ and no one even remotely cared.

Jimmy closes out the tape by ranting and raving something about Hogan and flexes. Spare me.

This was a little better than the Smack Em Whack Em tape. That being said, it’s really nothing to write home about. There were more matches on this one a less “who gives a crap” segments. Overall, the match quality was better but the final product still sucked. Not recommended.

1 comment:

Jessie said...

whoa, bret v. bam bam a 3....isn't that the match on bret's dvd? i also think it's on my Italy show...i'll have to revisit that the Hogan and flexes line at the end.