Afa, Sica, and Ernie Ladd vs. Junkyard Dog, Andre the Giant, and Dusty Rhodes - Mid-South Wrestling - January '82 - 7
This was a "dream match" selected via courier post by rabid fans. So much damn talent and charisma in that ring the canvas could have walked into a bar and gotten laid. I've always firmly said every sell is a choice and by golly there's tons of interesting choices being made here. I love the way early Dusy's legs instantly get rubbery and wiggly during a couple Samoan headbutts. I've never seen this many afros in one match. Record-breaking. Oh, for fuck's sake, Ernie Ladd just sold an overhead Andre chop like a frightened old grandma seeing a specter in the hallway. I'm losing it! You can see JYD and Andre chatting on the apron discussing their favorite local spots for brisket and collard greens. Ladd breaks up an Andre pin cover with a flying leg drop directly onto his mortal coil. Great stuff.
Sunday, January 26, 2014
Friday, January 24, 2014
NHO Road Report: HWA "We Are Here" - Middletown, OH - 1/17/2014
NHO Road Report: HWA “We Are Here”
1/17/2014
LSC Arena - Middletown, OH
Adam: After a long hiatus, the ever popular NHO Road Report is back! Brian and I ventured out to HWA in Middletown, Ohio on a cold, snowy night to see Ricky Morton, Necro Butcher, and 2 Tuff Tony. Our main focus of this report will be the three main event matches, but we’ll also elaborate a little on the undercard stuff.
Brian: Yes, the last show I attended live was a TNA iMPACT! television taping and I was sick as a dog. I was looking forward to getting out for some live pro wres. Nothing like seeing it up-close and hearing the slams, thuds, chops, grunts, and groans. I've been going to HWA shows in its various incarnations through several owners since '98. Their highpoint was around 2001 when WCW had folded and been bought out by WWE a lot of the talent Vince wasn't using on-screen had to go somewhere so we got stars like Meng, Kaz Hayashi, David Taylor, etc. every week.
Adam: We rolled up to the building, in a dilapidated area of Middletown, found a dimly lit and completely unplowed parking lot, and pretty much had to make up our own parking spot. The building itself used to be a Ponderosa restaurant way back in the day and the front looked exactly the same as it probably did about 20 years. The majority of people would just drive right by it as it’s a small, unoticeable building on a busy thoroughfare right in the heart of downtown Middletown. At the front counter we found a guy who could pass for Santa Claus taking admissions and a makeshift wrestling “store” filled with old figures, including some $5 WCW figures from the mid 90, random VHS tapes, WWF Attitude era t-shirts (more on that later), and other assorted wrestling goodies. The ring was setup towards the back of the building with about 50 chairs around three sides of it. The ring area itself was dark and cold, felt like we were part of some underground illegal fight club. We shelled out for ringside, grabbed some seats, and sat back and got ready to enjoy some low-level independent wrestling.
Brian: Yes it was freezing out and snowing and good thing Adam knows Middletown because I would have passed right by this inconspicuous building. I've seen crack dens with better mood lighting. I've seen skid row homeless shelters that were warmer and more inviting. So it was $15 for front row and $10 for general admission. Adam asked if there were any ringside seats left which now seems rather funny considering the low turnout. We may of well paid for GA though because at some point I noticed nobody even working the door and people just wandering into the dark building mid-show and sitting down. HWA "We Are Here"? More like "No We're Not". The swag and merch looked like a tornado whipped through a Highspots table at a con. No copies of Werckmeister Harmonies sadly. I did eye an Alex Wright figure that was so ridiculous I almost plunked down my two bits and brought him home. I DID buy something. More on that later.
Undercard Matches:
1. Four Way Lucha Libre Rules Match: Chrisjen Hayme vs. Chase Owens vs. Jaimy Cox vs. Kid Hybrid - A: 4 B: 3
2. "Hebrew Hammer" Joseph Schwartz vs. Michael Hayes - A: 2 B: 2
3. Gideon Malice vs. Great Akuma - A: 2 B: 4
4. B.J. Whitmer vs. Jamin Olivencia - A: 4 B: 4
5. Movado vs. Sid Fabulous - A: 1 B: 1
A: To start with, there was no heat in the building and the temperature outside was a balmy 15 degrees. I figure there must be some kind of heating in the building. A shit ton of space heaters plugged up around the building would’ve worked just as good. When the first match was announced as a four-way, we knew the card had been messed with as there were supposed to be nine matches. Hayme was in the match simply to help guide the others, most of who I had never heard of before. What exactly is Kid Hybrid supposed to be a hybrid of? Cox by far had the most character of anyone in the match, he had a discernable look and was very vocal in the ring. The highspot segment was nice but felt somewhat forced, like they have to do one of those every match. For your basic indy opener, it was acceptable and unoffensive. This was the first time I’d see Schwartz live and I really enjoyed his schitck, even though it was probably the most bizarre and surreal match of the night. He was supposed to face American Kickboxer II, but instead ended up fighting Michael Hayes from OVW … not the Freebird, but the one with the prosthetic leg. The comedy from Schwartz was good, playing up his Jewish character, but otherwise the match was a drag. Malice is a large being who strangely looks a bit like the character “The Hound” from Game of Thrones (or Peter Stormare if you haven’t seen Game of Thrones) and came out with not one, but THREE heel managers. I’m not sure what made Akuma so great but I didn’t see much except him getting his ass beaten from one side of the ring to the other. His selling was nice and I liked the mysterious Asian character he played. I wouldn’t mind seeing him again, perhaps this time against a better opponent. Whitmer and Olivenica has the most technically sound match of the night. The mat work was good and I enjoyed Whitmer playing to the crowd. I remember seeing Olivencia from OVW TV circa 2006 and he was OK then but he’s gotten drastically better. Olivencia getting the win with the DDT came from nowhere. A solid, fine match to close out the first half of the show.
Brian: It was criminally cold in there. With windshield outside the temp. was likely in the negatives. My feet went numb at one point. I'd wager the crowd was 35 or so. Strange to watch man grapple right where an all you can eat buffet bar once sat. Opener was your lightweight showcase that was okay under the circumstances. The ceiling was so low that standing on the buckles you could put your hand right through the ceiling tile. This and the limited space made flying challenging. I shouted "No staples tonight!" at Hayme given the last time I saw him live he cracked his skull open on a dark match at a Dragon Gate USA show in Indianapolis on a sick spot off the top buckle to the floor. Some stuff looked clearly cooperative but this was fine for an opener. Not sure how interesting it'd be on DVD but live Schwartz was a pretty fun act really playing up the Hebrew and Jewish stuff to comic effect. The one-legged guy was kind of an odd watch. Not sure how to feel when Joseph was stomping his prosthetic leg (can he feel that?) and Hayes no-sold my loud request for a "leg drop" with the prothesis. Malice looked like an older Adam Bomb or more accurately I guess Wrath. Akuma reminded me of a young, thinner Pat Tanaka and I thought did really well especially in the selling dept. in the largely thankless role of putting lumbering Malice over. Even post-match Akuma was selling the effects of the bout and had a really awesome kabuki-inspired look. Next match was a bit weird as Jamin was apparently booked face but got a tepid reaction then BJ who must have been booked heel got a huge pop due to being local and we overheard Olivencia muttering, "Oh, I guess they like you here. Ok then". On one hand this was one of the best matches of the night but it did have its own flaws. On the plus side, Whitmer was solid, his timing is on a whole other level compared to most of these guys, and Olivencia, while I hate his marble-mouthed name he was the most vocal and animated performer of the night. It almost came off as over-selling in such a small, intimate setting, but on the big stage, and by that I mean WWE, I think his style is a near perfect fit. So it almost came off over the top here but in the right context his style would be better suited. Maybe embrace his inner-douchebag a little more too. The finish was ungodly flat as a jumping DDT just ended it out of the blue. If you were aware of Whitmer's recent neck injury in ROH you could buy it as a quick match-ender but otherwise it was head-scratching.
Adam: Intermission came next and I browsed the selection of old wrestling tapes and figures but didn’t see much I liked. I chatted with Ricky Morton for a bit and he came across as nice and humble but remarked about the building “they should rent this place out to Oscar Meyer because it’s a fucking meat locker”. He told stories of the run with Ric Flair in ’86 and seemed like a very genuine person. Back from intermission and we start with Movado. Who or what exactly he is, I’m not sure. He’s a short, very bolbous human dressed in black and red, with a star shaped mask, who made sounds like Kamala but can’t work a lick. Post-match was really strange with Movado picking up the win and a giant man in pink floral tights with a pink thong on running in and standing behind Movado for a good two minutes before engaging in battle with Movado and no-selling his offense. As you can tell, the undercard wasn’t good at all, except for Whitmer and Olivencia and nothing went over 12 minutes as it was pretty cold in the building and nobody in the crowd was reacting to much. Brian, your thoughts?
Brian: I mostly talked to BJ Whitmer during intermission. He was real cool and nice and easy to chat with. Sometimes if you talk too "inside" with the guys they put up that old kayfabe wall but he was open and respectful to my nerdy oratory. We talked about AJ Styles' ROH return and how stiff he works, Chris Hero's running dropkick through the ropes to BJ's face on ROH TV last week, his underrated barbwire match w/ Necro Butcher (he thanked me for praising it), how Chad Collyer never got his due, local wrestling, etc. I went to talk to Ricky but after a min. the house lights went down and he had to get going quickly.I did tell him that I respected his work a great deal and how I grew up with the Midnight Express feud via NWA/WCW but now that footage is more readily available I'm discovering his Watts' Mid-South stuff and its phenomenal. He was incredibly kind and sweet and very polite. I saw a bunch of shirts on an old rack all crumpled and piled together and started thumbing through them when I saw a ridiculous "24/7 Ass" Mr. Ass shirt from WWE. I laughed and kept digging until I found an even more ludicrous Godfather "Roll A Fatty for this Pimp Daddy" t-shirt with a goofy illustrated image of Godfather on the front that I felt I had to own as an ironic shirt to wear at parties. I guess I could have pilfered it as nobody was around. I eventually went up to two girls at the snack stand and offered to buy it. They didn't even know what to charge me and I said a sticker over there said WWE shirts were $10 and they gladly and greedily said that'd be just fine and took my cash. Damn, I should have bargained for $5! Movado match was limpid shit. Movado played a blubbering, chittering, noisy fat freak in an inexplicable mask that had no bearing on his "character". The post-match hijinks Adam mentioned were a real curiosity as Fabulous' partner who looked like a smaller, older Ryback in a real bad hot pink and purple get-up and Movado had the world's most awkward staredown/exchange which saw some stuff weirdly no-sold and felt uncooperative and shoot-y. I mean, no selling a punch, sure, adrenaline, maybe you didn't feel the blow, but how the hell do you no sell an eye rake?
6. Tarek the Great vs. Ricky Morton - B: 5 A: 5
Brian: This was pretty cool and I had a lot of fun cheering Morton on. Ricky would do something small but get great crowd reactions for it, they'd slow it down like putting Morton in a hold, he'd use the crowd to rally him back into it, rinse and repeat. Morton was very vocal talking here and there and actually had some damn good one-liners sprinkled in inc. one about doing something before the "real rigor mortis" kicking in. Ricky was still as graceful as an Ozu film. Tarek who I've seen work pretty snug (like beating the piss out of American Kickboxer II at that HWA show Daniel Bryan v. Dean Ambrose (Jon Moxley) headlined) but he was respectful and did his role well. Ricky actually took a few legit bumps on the cold, hard canvas too. Post-match Ricky gave us a heartfelt thanks and told us he loved every one of us. It was very touching and he's a real class act. I felt slightly bad later that night when I saw him shifting out the front door quietly during a match in a tattered jacket with his luggage en route to California as he'd told Adam he had a date to work on the other side of the country the next day. What a crazy lifestyle but I wish him well. He entertained the 30 of us tremendously.
Adam: Agreed with Brian on this one. This match right here is the reason we made the trip up to the shady city of Middletown. Ricky was great playing to the crowd and got them to actually liven up for pretty much the first time all night. I’ve enjoyed Tarek’s on-and-off runs in HWA and as Brian mentioned, he can work stiff, but here he toned it down and worked within Morton’s pace. Match itself was nothing spectacular. Ricky would get a few moves in, Tarek would lock in a hold, and this continued on for about ten minutes until Ricky scored the pin. Probably the most fun I’ve had cheering someone on at an independent show in years. Post match stuff was a really nice gesture as he geniunely thanked all the fans for coming out and supporting him. The whole 45 or so of us in attendance were all chanting “thank you Rick-y” over and over and when Tarek issued a challenge for a rematch, we all chanted “one more match”. It was certainly a pleasure seeing him live.
7. HWA Heavyweight Title: Chance Prophet vs. "Big" Kris Carnage - B: 2 A: 2
Brian: Prophet the HWA champ seemed fine from what I could tell but man, this Carnage guy was the drizzling shits. First off, he's a deplorable looking specimen. At one point I yelled: "this guy's on the juice.. and I don't mean Kool-Aid!". He has this bizarre physique, like a He-Man toy, with regular legs, but this massively gigantic upper-body, but then He-Man's head fell off so you popped another head onto the frame. He's got this unassuming blonde Dutch Boy cut and hawk nose looking like a guy who works at a golf supplies store, then this hulking upper-body of giant muscles and steroid acne. Such an eyesore to behold. He was shit in-ring too blowing a few spots very visibly and having no concept of ring positioning inc. at one point awkwardly back-rolling to get to his feet but getting caught in the ropes like a first day amateur. Then there was his entourage a chick that looked like Sandra Bernhard's little sister in a witch get-up, and two dwarfs, a guy and a girl, playing the roles of rave midgets? Seriously what the fuck? Is this a David Lynch soma nightmare? Just an uncanny and surreal spectacle I don't wish to relive.
Adam: Well, this was quite the opposite of the previous match. Nobody cared one damn bit about the roided up Carnage, nor did they really seem to care about Prophet. The last time I saw Carnage live was on an HWA show back in 2010 or 2011 and he jobbed to Jimmy Yang in about five minutes. Now he’s the number one contender for the HWA title? Who thought that was a good idea? His entourage was the stuff of nightmares, a wicked witch and two scantily clad midgets. Prophet looked good in the ring but I’m sure he’d be better served to be working with someone who is actually competent in the ring besides this slob. Not a good match at all.
8. No DQ, No Count Out Match: The Soul Shooters (Apollo Starr & Dru Skillz) vs. Necro Butcher & 2 Tuff Tony - A: 5 B: 5
Adam: This was the other reason we made the trip up. I’ve seen Necro Butcher live a few times at Ring of Honor shows but I’ve never seen 2 Tuff Tony live. The Soul Shooters looked good and played a great heel team, running away from the crazed death match mad men who were just tearing up chairs, floor mats, and anything else that got in their way around ringside. This was your typical indy hardcore match and given the context of the show, there was absolutely nothing wrong with that at all. Everybody gave and received some hard shots, Necro dropped a Cactus Jack style elbow on the floor right in front of me, and poor Apollo Starr nearly broke his back snapping a painting ladder that was obviously purchased at Lowe’s right before the show, in half. Crowd seemed disappointed that Necro and Tony didn’t get the win but this was still a fun display and behind the Morton match, the most enjoyable thing of the night.
Brian: This was a lot of fun as expected. Didn't know of the Soul Shooters prior but Dru did some good apron work and interacted well with the crowd. I yelled during the intros "Necro Butcher was robbed at the Oscar's" and you hear him sort of chuckle and respond in a heavy hillbilly accent "Oh my gawd, are you kidding me?". I forgot to mention during the entrances Necro ripped up all the floor protective mats and tossed him angrily into the crowd right into fans' faces. You've got to love that. My "We want concussions!" chant later was perhaps a bit too on the nose. As Necro withered on the concrete after a particularly brutal bump I yelled right at him "Hit him with your bong!" and he wearily responded, "I've got to get up first." Tony, looking dapper (LOL) in a JCW hockey jersey, didn't work above his pay rate (couldn't have been more than $45 and a few White Castle sliders), I was hoping to see him take a rib-breaking slam onto a guardrail or something equally stupid but alas mostly slow-motion brawling. I think on DVD this wouldn't score as high but in-person it was fun to heckle and interact with the ongoing mayhem. There were a few sensational bumps but overall this was too laid back to be a really good, recommendable brawl.
Brian: After the show we headed out into the ungodly cold, in the minuses' by that point, and shot over to an IHOP in Forest Park about 30 min. south. I got the Colorado Omelette filled to the brim with bacon, pork sausage, shredded beef, ham, fresh onions, green peppers and Cheddar cheese and a short stack of pancakes. We ate, laughed, talked about our favorite Dick Slater singles bouts, the evolution of the Jun Kasai & Jaki Numazawa tag team. Another road report in the books. We'll be back on the road again in March for ROH in Dayton feat. the return of AJ Styles.
1/17/2014
LSC Arena - Middletown, OH
Adam: After a long hiatus, the ever popular NHO Road Report is back! Brian and I ventured out to HWA in Middletown, Ohio on a cold, snowy night to see Ricky Morton, Necro Butcher, and 2 Tuff Tony. Our main focus of this report will be the three main event matches, but we’ll also elaborate a little on the undercard stuff.
You can see us (L to R: Adam, & Brian) here reveling in a highspot
Brian: Yes, the last show I attended live was a TNA iMPACT! television taping and I was sick as a dog. I was looking forward to getting out for some live pro wres. Nothing like seeing it up-close and hearing the slams, thuds, chops, grunts, and groans. I've been going to HWA shows in its various incarnations through several owners since '98. Their highpoint was around 2001 when WCW had folded and been bought out by WWE a lot of the talent Vince wasn't using on-screen had to go somewhere so we got stars like Meng, Kaz Hayashi, David Taylor, etc. every week.
Adam: We rolled up to the building, in a dilapidated area of Middletown, found a dimly lit and completely unplowed parking lot, and pretty much had to make up our own parking spot. The building itself used to be a Ponderosa restaurant way back in the day and the front looked exactly the same as it probably did about 20 years. The majority of people would just drive right by it as it’s a small, unoticeable building on a busy thoroughfare right in the heart of downtown Middletown. At the front counter we found a guy who could pass for Santa Claus taking admissions and a makeshift wrestling “store” filled with old figures, including some $5 WCW figures from the mid 90, random VHS tapes, WWF Attitude era t-shirts (more on that later), and other assorted wrestling goodies. The ring was setup towards the back of the building with about 50 chairs around three sides of it. The ring area itself was dark and cold, felt like we were part of some underground illegal fight club. We shelled out for ringside, grabbed some seats, and sat back and got ready to enjoy some low-level independent wrestling.
Brian: Yes it was freezing out and snowing and good thing Adam knows Middletown because I would have passed right by this inconspicuous building. I've seen crack dens with better mood lighting. I've seen skid row homeless shelters that were warmer and more inviting. So it was $15 for front row and $10 for general admission. Adam asked if there were any ringside seats left which now seems rather funny considering the low turnout. We may of well paid for GA though because at some point I noticed nobody even working the door and people just wandering into the dark building mid-show and sitting down. HWA "We Are Here"? More like "No We're Not". The swag and merch looked like a tornado whipped through a Highspots table at a con. No copies of Werckmeister Harmonies sadly. I did eye an Alex Wright figure that was so ridiculous I almost plunked down my two bits and brought him home. I DID buy something. More on that later.
Undercard Matches:
1. Four Way Lucha Libre Rules Match: Chrisjen Hayme vs. Chase Owens vs. Jaimy Cox vs. Kid Hybrid - A: 4 B: 3
2. "Hebrew Hammer" Joseph Schwartz vs. Michael Hayes - A: 2 B: 2
3. Gideon Malice vs. Great Akuma - A: 2 B: 4
4. B.J. Whitmer vs. Jamin Olivencia - A: 4 B: 4
5. Movado vs. Sid Fabulous - A: 1 B: 1
A: To start with, there was no heat in the building and the temperature outside was a balmy 15 degrees. I figure there must be some kind of heating in the building. A shit ton of space heaters plugged up around the building would’ve worked just as good. When the first match was announced as a four-way, we knew the card had been messed with as there were supposed to be nine matches. Hayme was in the match simply to help guide the others, most of who I had never heard of before. What exactly is Kid Hybrid supposed to be a hybrid of? Cox by far had the most character of anyone in the match, he had a discernable look and was very vocal in the ring. The highspot segment was nice but felt somewhat forced, like they have to do one of those every match. For your basic indy opener, it was acceptable and unoffensive. This was the first time I’d see Schwartz live and I really enjoyed his schitck, even though it was probably the most bizarre and surreal match of the night. He was supposed to face American Kickboxer II, but instead ended up fighting Michael Hayes from OVW … not the Freebird, but the one with the prosthetic leg. The comedy from Schwartz was good, playing up his Jewish character, but otherwise the match was a drag. Malice is a large being who strangely looks a bit like the character “The Hound” from Game of Thrones (or Peter Stormare if you haven’t seen Game of Thrones) and came out with not one, but THREE heel managers. I’m not sure what made Akuma so great but I didn’t see much except him getting his ass beaten from one side of the ring to the other. His selling was nice and I liked the mysterious Asian character he played. I wouldn’t mind seeing him again, perhaps this time against a better opponent. Whitmer and Olivenica has the most technically sound match of the night. The mat work was good and I enjoyed Whitmer playing to the crowd. I remember seeing Olivencia from OVW TV circa 2006 and he was OK then but he’s gotten drastically better. Olivencia getting the win with the DDT came from nowhere. A solid, fine match to close out the first half of the show.
A leg only Dr. Frankenstein could love
Brian: It was criminally cold in there. With windshield outside the temp. was likely in the negatives. My feet went numb at one point. I'd wager the crowd was 35 or so. Strange to watch man grapple right where an all you can eat buffet bar once sat. Opener was your lightweight showcase that was okay under the circumstances. The ceiling was so low that standing on the buckles you could put your hand right through the ceiling tile. This and the limited space made flying challenging. I shouted "No staples tonight!" at Hayme given the last time I saw him live he cracked his skull open on a dark match at a Dragon Gate USA show in Indianapolis on a sick spot off the top buckle to the floor. Some stuff looked clearly cooperative but this was fine for an opener. Not sure how interesting it'd be on DVD but live Schwartz was a pretty fun act really playing up the Hebrew and Jewish stuff to comic effect. The one-legged guy was kind of an odd watch. Not sure how to feel when Joseph was stomping his prosthetic leg (can he feel that?) and Hayes no-sold my loud request for a "leg drop" with the prothesis. Malice looked like an older Adam Bomb or more accurately I guess Wrath. Akuma reminded me of a young, thinner Pat Tanaka and I thought did really well especially in the selling dept. in the largely thankless role of putting lumbering Malice over. Even post-match Akuma was selling the effects of the bout and had a really awesome kabuki-inspired look. Next match was a bit weird as Jamin was apparently booked face but got a tepid reaction then BJ who must have been booked heel got a huge pop due to being local and we overheard Olivencia muttering, "Oh, I guess they like you here. Ok then". On one hand this was one of the best matches of the night but it did have its own flaws. On the plus side, Whitmer was solid, his timing is on a whole other level compared to most of these guys, and Olivencia, while I hate his marble-mouthed name he was the most vocal and animated performer of the night. It almost came off as over-selling in such a small, intimate setting, but on the big stage, and by that I mean WWE, I think his style is a near perfect fit. So it almost came off over the top here but in the right context his style would be better suited. Maybe embrace his inner-douchebag a little more too. The finish was ungodly flat as a jumping DDT just ended it out of the blue. If you were aware of Whitmer's recent neck injury in ROH you could buy it as a quick match-ender but otherwise it was head-scratching.
Adam: Intermission came next and I browsed the selection of old wrestling tapes and figures but didn’t see much I liked. I chatted with Ricky Morton for a bit and he came across as nice and humble but remarked about the building “they should rent this place out to Oscar Meyer because it’s a fucking meat locker”. He told stories of the run with Ric Flair in ’86 and seemed like a very genuine person. Back from intermission and we start with Movado. Who or what exactly he is, I’m not sure. He’s a short, very bolbous human dressed in black and red, with a star shaped mask, who made sounds like Kamala but can’t work a lick. Post-match was really strange with Movado picking up the win and a giant man in pink floral tights with a pink thong on running in and standing behind Movado for a good two minutes before engaging in battle with Movado and no-selling his offense. As you can tell, the undercard wasn’t good at all, except for Whitmer and Olivencia and nothing went over 12 minutes as it was pretty cold in the building and nobody in the crowd was reacting to much. Brian, your thoughts?
Brian: I mostly talked to BJ Whitmer during intermission. He was real cool and nice and easy to chat with. Sometimes if you talk too "inside" with the guys they put up that old kayfabe wall but he was open and respectful to my nerdy oratory. We talked about AJ Styles' ROH return and how stiff he works, Chris Hero's running dropkick through the ropes to BJ's face on ROH TV last week, his underrated barbwire match w/ Necro Butcher (he thanked me for praising it), how Chad Collyer never got his due, local wrestling, etc. I went to talk to Ricky but after a min. the house lights went down and he had to get going quickly.I did tell him that I respected his work a great deal and how I grew up with the Midnight Express feud via NWA/WCW but now that footage is more readily available I'm discovering his Watts' Mid-South stuff and its phenomenal. He was incredibly kind and sweet and very polite. I saw a bunch of shirts on an old rack all crumpled and piled together and started thumbing through them when I saw a ridiculous "24/7 Ass" Mr. Ass shirt from WWE. I laughed and kept digging until I found an even more ludicrous Godfather "Roll A Fatty for this Pimp Daddy" t-shirt with a goofy illustrated image of Godfather on the front that I felt I had to own as an ironic shirt to wear at parties. I guess I could have pilfered it as nobody was around. I eventually went up to two girls at the snack stand and offered to buy it. They didn't even know what to charge me and I said a sticker over there said WWE shirts were $10 and they gladly and greedily said that'd be just fine and took my cash. Damn, I should have bargained for $5! Movado match was limpid shit. Movado played a blubbering, chittering, noisy fat freak in an inexplicable mask that had no bearing on his "character". The post-match hijinks Adam mentioned were a real curiosity as Fabulous' partner who looked like a smaller, older Ryback in a real bad hot pink and purple get-up and Movado had the world's most awkward staredown/exchange which saw some stuff weirdly no-sold and felt uncooperative and shoot-y. I mean, no selling a punch, sure, adrenaline, maybe you didn't feel the blow, but how the hell do you no sell an eye rake?
6. Tarek the Great vs. Ricky Morton - B: 5 A: 5
Brian: This was pretty cool and I had a lot of fun cheering Morton on. Ricky would do something small but get great crowd reactions for it, they'd slow it down like putting Morton in a hold, he'd use the crowd to rally him back into it, rinse and repeat. Morton was very vocal talking here and there and actually had some damn good one-liners sprinkled in inc. one about doing something before the "real rigor mortis" kicking in. Ricky was still as graceful as an Ozu film. Tarek who I've seen work pretty snug (like beating the piss out of American Kickboxer II at that HWA show Daniel Bryan v. Dean Ambrose (Jon Moxley) headlined) but he was respectful and did his role well. Ricky actually took a few legit bumps on the cold, hard canvas too. Post-match Ricky gave us a heartfelt thanks and told us he loved every one of us. It was very touching and he's a real class act. I felt slightly bad later that night when I saw him shifting out the front door quietly during a match in a tattered jacket with his luggage en route to California as he'd told Adam he had a date to work on the other side of the country the next day. What a crazy lifestyle but I wish him well. He entertained the 30 of us tremendously.
Adam: Agreed with Brian on this one. This match right here is the reason we made the trip up to the shady city of Middletown. Ricky was great playing to the crowd and got them to actually liven up for pretty much the first time all night. I’ve enjoyed Tarek’s on-and-off runs in HWA and as Brian mentioned, he can work stiff, but here he toned it down and worked within Morton’s pace. Match itself was nothing spectacular. Ricky would get a few moves in, Tarek would lock in a hold, and this continued on for about ten minutes until Ricky scored the pin. Probably the most fun I’ve had cheering someone on at an independent show in years. Post match stuff was a really nice gesture as he geniunely thanked all the fans for coming out and supporting him. The whole 45 or so of us in attendance were all chanting “thank you Rick-y” over and over and when Tarek issued a challenge for a rematch, we all chanted “one more match”. It was certainly a pleasure seeing him live.
7. HWA Heavyweight Title: Chance Prophet vs. "Big" Kris Carnage - B: 2 A: 2
"Botch here much?"
Brian: Prophet the HWA champ seemed fine from what I could tell but man, this Carnage guy was the drizzling shits. First off, he's a deplorable looking specimen. At one point I yelled: "this guy's on the juice.. and I don't mean Kool-Aid!". He has this bizarre physique, like a He-Man toy, with regular legs, but this massively gigantic upper-body, but then He-Man's head fell off so you popped another head onto the frame. He's got this unassuming blonde Dutch Boy cut and hawk nose looking like a guy who works at a golf supplies store, then this hulking upper-body of giant muscles and steroid acne. Such an eyesore to behold. He was shit in-ring too blowing a few spots very visibly and having no concept of ring positioning inc. at one point awkwardly back-rolling to get to his feet but getting caught in the ropes like a first day amateur. Then there was his entourage a chick that looked like Sandra Bernhard's little sister in a witch get-up, and two dwarfs, a guy and a girl, playing the roles of rave midgets? Seriously what the fuck? Is this a David Lynch soma nightmare? Just an uncanny and surreal spectacle I don't wish to relive.
Adam: Well, this was quite the opposite of the previous match. Nobody cared one damn bit about the roided up Carnage, nor did they really seem to care about Prophet. The last time I saw Carnage live was on an HWA show back in 2010 or 2011 and he jobbed to Jimmy Yang in about five minutes. Now he’s the number one contender for the HWA title? Who thought that was a good idea? His entourage was the stuff of nightmares, a wicked witch and two scantily clad midgets. Prophet looked good in the ring but I’m sure he’d be better served to be working with someone who is actually competent in the ring besides this slob. Not a good match at all.
8. No DQ, No Count Out Match: The Soul Shooters (Apollo Starr & Dru Skillz) vs. Necro Butcher & 2 Tuff Tony - A: 5 B: 5
Adam: This was the other reason we made the trip up. I’ve seen Necro Butcher live a few times at Ring of Honor shows but I’ve never seen 2 Tuff Tony live. The Soul Shooters looked good and played a great heel team, running away from the crazed death match mad men who were just tearing up chairs, floor mats, and anything else that got in their way around ringside. This was your typical indy hardcore match and given the context of the show, there was absolutely nothing wrong with that at all. Everybody gave and received some hard shots, Necro dropped a Cactus Jack style elbow on the floor right in front of me, and poor Apollo Starr nearly broke his back snapping a painting ladder that was obviously purchased at Lowe’s right before the show, in half. Crowd seemed disappointed that Necro and Tony didn’t get the win but this was still a fun display and behind the Morton match, the most enjoyable thing of the night.
Brian: This was a lot of fun as expected. Didn't know of the Soul Shooters prior but Dru did some good apron work and interacted well with the crowd. I yelled during the intros "Necro Butcher was robbed at the Oscar's" and you hear him sort of chuckle and respond in a heavy hillbilly accent "Oh my gawd, are you kidding me?". I forgot to mention during the entrances Necro ripped up all the floor protective mats and tossed him angrily into the crowd right into fans' faces. You've got to love that. My "We want concussions!" chant later was perhaps a bit too on the nose. As Necro withered on the concrete after a particularly brutal bump I yelled right at him "Hit him with your bong!" and he wearily responded, "I've got to get up first." Tony, looking dapper (LOL) in a JCW hockey jersey, didn't work above his pay rate (couldn't have been more than $45 and a few White Castle sliders), I was hoping to see him take a rib-breaking slam onto a guardrail or something equally stupid but alas mostly slow-motion brawling. I think on DVD this wouldn't score as high but in-person it was fun to heckle and interact with the ongoing mayhem. There were a few sensational bumps but overall this was too laid back to be a really good, recommendable brawl.
Brian: After the show we headed out into the ungodly cold, in the minuses' by that point, and shot over to an IHOP in Forest Park about 30 min. south. I got the Colorado Omelette filled to the brim with bacon, pork sausage, shredded beef, ham, fresh onions, green peppers and Cheddar cheese and a short stack of pancakes. We ate, laughed, talked about our favorite Dick Slater singles bouts, the evolution of the Jun Kasai & Jaki Numazawa tag team. Another road report in the books. We'll be back on the road again in March for ROH in Dayton feat. the return of AJ Styles.
Thursday, January 16, 2014
TNA One Night Only: Tag Team Tournament
1. Petey Williams and Sonjay Dutt vs. Generation Me - 5
2. Hot Shots vs. Aces & Eights - 3
3. British Invasion vs. Dirty Heels - 4
Liked the opener. Probably one of the better ONO matches yet. It's simple, not groundbreaking, and while these guys are all known for flashy pizzazz offense, this felt like an actual athletic contest with some good back-and-forth, a fine alienation segment on Max Buck, and plenty of fluid sequences. Next some TNA veterans (Cassidy Riley and Chase Stevens) versus some rookies (Garett Bischoff and Wes Brisco) in what on paper appears to be a match fit for a Hermie Sadler UWF mid-card. Riley has sad eyes. Garret tripped trying to get in position to take a Cassidy armdrag. While Stevens was cutting his teeth on the circuit little Garret was on the set of Ready to Rumble drinking Shirley Temples courtesy of daddy. Wes looked like he dipped his face in sulphuric acid as a kid. Guy in front row in Baja hoodie that resembles Terry Funk's pinstriped trunks. Match wasn't terrible but hard to buy the Aces' control segments as Bischoff is not believable on offense. I always liked Doug Williams and Aries' match at ROH Death Before Dishonor: Night 2 (2004) so cool to see them competing again. Another strong entry in this show with good structure, Doug got a nice stretch on offense, and teamwork seemed emphasized with some nice saves and double-teams. Rob Terry offered least to the proceedings having his sole highlight being spat on by Roode.
4. Chavo Guerrero and Hernandez vs. Bad Influence - 3
5. Aces & Eights vs. Magnus and Samoa Joe - 2
6. Team 3D vs. Generation Me - 5
Watched the next match over two sittings so my thoughts are fragmented. I was surprised to see the faces go over. Chavo and Kaz did the weakest double-clothesline spot I've seen. I may be alone in thinking Chavo's TNA run was actually underrated. Magnus and Joe had a few borderline great bouts in NOAH (vs. Akiyama/Saito, KENTA/Maybach, etc.) but I found their TNA stint as a team unmemorable. Surprised the Aces ran so much offense considering they'd already had a match and their protracted leg work on Joe was insipid. Once the tide changed they put this to bed pretty suddenly. Team 3D is the last team to see action (at least inside the ring I can't vouch for backstage happenings) and they hop right in ready to get after it. Pretty straightforward affair, the Dudley's did show some ass, so that was cool seeing them eat some missile dropicks and whatnot, and Max Buck took a pretty nasty bump on a toss over the ropes to the floor where he collided with the apron like a hockey player getting checked into the boards.
7. Magnus and Samoa Joe vs. Dirty Heels - 4
8. Team 3D vs. Chavo Guerrero and Hernandez - 3
9. Team 3D vs. Dirty Heels - 4
Control segment on Magnus left him more isolated than Theodore in Her. Magnus is awfully in favor of Dixie Carter I'm wagering a guess he's trimmed her lawn both grass and pubes. Taz is a clown on commentary no surprise but I'd have loved to see him in his prime versus Aries. Brass knuckles shot gets them Dirty Heels the vociferous victory. D-Von in biker duds calls to mine Biker Boyz. Wonder who'll induct the Dudley Boyz into the WWE HoF? Speaking of hypothetical questions, wonder what would have happened if Aries wouldn't have flunked his WWE Tough Enough tryout? Would have loved watching Hugh Morris teach him the finer points of running the ropes. Heels versus heels final? All four guys are wearing all black making them darker than the stain on Yoel Romero's trunks at UFC Fight Night 35 (LOL). Bully Ray sells a fistdrop like a mix between Rod Price (the wrestler not Foghat guitarist) and Homer Simpson. More rule breaking spots than used condoms washed away by Hurricane Katrina. The brass knuckles come back to haunt Aries and he then eats a 3D like it was a baked potato with butter and sour cream. The crowd goes mild.
Monday, January 6, 2014
Rave vs. Curry vs. Sabin vs. Devine vs. Kaz
First post of the new year! Remember kids, never hand over, unless it's your WWE box sets or 8x10 glossy prints of the Toryumon roster, 'cause demz ours!!!
Jimmy Rave vs. Curry Man vs. Chris Sabin vs. Johnny Devine vs. Kaz - King of the Mountain Match - TNA iMPACT! 6/5/08 - 5
Yes, as a preview for their upcoming PPV they did a complete KotM match on free TV even with goofy penalty box. Curry Man firing up Sabin early. Get it? Because curry is hot? About 60 sec. in Devine does a crazy moonsault off of the penalty box to the floor! I didn't see that coming. Holy shit that was nuts and dangerous and probably the coolest thing Johnny ever did (not just in his career, in his life, slightly nudging out that beer run he pulled off as a sophomore). Now they're using ladders. Sabin and Kaz both have so much more pop to their stuff just over five years ago. Kaz forever earned a spot in my heart after that insanely stiff kick to Bischoff's kid's face in Lethal Lockdown a couple years ago. I think Tenay just re-imagined history harder than Sarah Polley in Stories We Tell. Such a strange gimmick match. You win by hanging a big X above the ring like you're putting the star on top of your Christmas tree? That penalty box looks black and hard. No wonder Christy Hemme is eyeing it. Kaz rides a ladder off the box into the ring like he's sledding. Except Rosebud never chaffed your inner-thighs. Devine did history's weakest, most stupidest looking back elbow ever gingerly stepping backwards off the lowest ladder rung. Curry is usually such a joke character but he actually got off some stuff that made him look semi-competent. Kaz wins by playing giant-sized tic-tac-toe hanging a stupid puffy alphabet letter amid all the carnage. What a joyous train wreck of suck.
Jimmy Rave vs. Curry Man vs. Chris Sabin vs. Johnny Devine vs. Kaz - King of the Mountain Match - TNA iMPACT! 6/5/08 - 5
Yes, as a preview for their upcoming PPV they did a complete KotM match on free TV even with goofy penalty box. Curry Man firing up Sabin early. Get it? Because curry is hot? About 60 sec. in Devine does a crazy moonsault off of the penalty box to the floor! I didn't see that coming. Holy shit that was nuts and dangerous and probably the coolest thing Johnny ever did (not just in his career, in his life, slightly nudging out that beer run he pulled off as a sophomore). Now they're using ladders. Sabin and Kaz both have so much more pop to their stuff just over five years ago. Kaz forever earned a spot in my heart after that insanely stiff kick to Bischoff's kid's face in Lethal Lockdown a couple years ago. I think Tenay just re-imagined history harder than Sarah Polley in Stories We Tell. Such a strange gimmick match. You win by hanging a big X above the ring like you're putting the star on top of your Christmas tree? That penalty box looks black and hard. No wonder Christy Hemme is eyeing it. Kaz rides a ladder off the box into the ring like he's sledding. Except Rosebud never chaffed your inner-thighs. Devine did history's weakest, most stupidest looking back elbow ever gingerly stepping backwards off the lowest ladder rung. Curry is usually such a joke character but he actually got off some stuff that made him look semi-competent. Kaz wins by playing giant-sized tic-tac-toe hanging a stupid puffy alphabet letter amid all the carnage. What a joyous train wreck of suck.
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
CM Punk vs. Kane
CM Punk vs. Kane - ECW on SyFy 6/3/08 - 4
Punk was in a four-way earlier in the same show. Probably of all the former WWE champions these are the two with the most tepid offense. Kane did like a reverse neckhang spot that looked kind of cool and barbaric. Big boot landed square in the face knocking Punk through the ropes to the floor -- he'll probably think his nightly Pepsi tastes like a Crystal Clear after eating that shot. Kane's dropkick to a seated opponent is about a 4.7 on the Konnan scale. Body-scissors hold actually looks visually painful due to Kane's size and not a resthold. I miss this chunkier Punk. Easily to buy him hanging with the big guys than today with his Teen Wolf sideburns and zip-up hoodies borrowed from his nephew's closet. Okay, maybe I was rough on Kane, he's got better looking offense than other champs Foley, RVD, Sid, and Swagger, but he's still behind Lashley, no dice for CM as I saw better kicks in kids karate class at the YMCA in '90 than Punk's. Punk slides out of a chokeslam, tries the G2S but plays up being too banged up, then Kane retained the ECW title with a chokeslam. Better than I expected but as ECW world title reigns go Kane's was no Ezekiel Jackson's.
Punk was in a four-way earlier in the same show. Probably of all the former WWE champions these are the two with the most tepid offense. Kane did like a reverse neckhang spot that looked kind of cool and barbaric. Big boot landed square in the face knocking Punk through the ropes to the floor -- he'll probably think his nightly Pepsi tastes like a Crystal Clear after eating that shot. Kane's dropkick to a seated opponent is about a 4.7 on the Konnan scale. Body-scissors hold actually looks visually painful due to Kane's size and not a resthold. I miss this chunkier Punk. Easily to buy him hanging with the big guys than today with his Teen Wolf sideburns and zip-up hoodies borrowed from his nephew's closet. Okay, maybe I was rough on Kane, he's got better looking offense than other champs Foley, RVD, Sid, and Swagger, but he's still behind Lashley, no dice for CM as I saw better kicks in kids karate class at the YMCA in '90 than Punk's. Punk slides out of a chokeslam, tries the G2S but plays up being too banged up, then Kane retained the ECW title with a chokeslam. Better than I expected but as ECW world title reigns go Kane's was no Ezekiel Jackson's.
Saturday, December 28, 2013
Rockstar Pro Wrestling "Kool Kat Christmas" iPPV - 12/13/2013
Rockstar Pro Wrestling “Kool Kat Christmas”
12/13/2013
Rockstar Pro Arena - Dayton, OH
Rockstar Pro is a company that runs every Wednesday out of Dayton, Ohio and features old HWA stalwarts such as Cody Hawk, Ron Mathis, Aaron Williams, Benjamin Kimera, Ganger, and The Crist Brothers among others … so basically, the majority of the HWA roster from 2006. Apparently this show was a free iPPV … free as in it was free to watch not free to get into the building. By the way, who came up with the name “Kool Kat Christmas”? Sounds like it should be the name of a live music night at a hipster bar, not a wrestling show. Enough rambling, lets FIGHT~!
1. Cody Hawk vs. Andrew Stryker - 2
According to the announcers, this is ten years in the making. This Stryker kid was probably in high school ten years ago. What, did Cody Hawk come into science class one day and throw this kid into a bunch of beakers and bunson burners? Ok, well apparently he’s Matt Stryker’s kid and this is a continuation of the Hawk/Matt Stryker feud from HWA years back. That makes more sense then. Five minutes in and Stryker looks like he’s just completely blown up. Stryker hit a nice Kurt Angle-style superplex from the top rope. I’ve never been a the world’s biggest Cody Hawk fan and this is just another reason why. His work is lazy and exhibits no emotion whatsoever. Fuck, Hawk’s muscle buster finisher was just horrible. This felt like a match you would probably see during a training class.
2. The Squad (Tom McClane & Matt Brannigan) vs. “Dirty” Miguel Sanchez & Austin Bradley - 3
Good lord, this MUST be 2006 as Brock Guffman is managing the heel team of The Squad. Sanchez is supposedly from Tijuana. I’ll believe that when I see his green card as I call bullshit on that. Bradley seems to have the basics down but doesn’t really have a discernable look. Double closthesline spot from Bradley was pretty bad and the hot tag to Sanchez was more lukewarm than anything. McClane’s nickname is supposedly “Die Hard” so I’ll let you insert your own Bruce Willis/Die Hard joke here. Tag work from The Squad looked a little disjointed in spots and the finishing spot culminating with Branningan getting a pin with a reverse lung blower was super sloppy.
3. Kyle Maverick vs. G-Force - 1
G-Force looks like Delirious if he was ten years older and tattooed all to hell. Enziguri spot from Maverick missed completely and looked as if they got lost for a minute. G-Force’s tornado DDT was more of a stiff breeze DDT. Maverick supposedly has a background in MMA. His kicks looked awful and so did his punches. This was just awful and lacked anything anywhere near notable.
4. The Dirty South (Pompano Joe & Trice) vs. The Rookies (Brandon James & Mason Price) - 4
Pompano Joe was the last guy I thought I would see on this show but it’s welcome. Last time I saw Trice, he was rocking some Spiderman tights while getting ripped apart by Dan Severn about two years ago in a shady skating rink. This James dude seems pretty competent but I'm not sure that I trust a man whose nickname is "Honey Badger". Nice leg lariat by Pompano Joe on James. Hot tag to Price and he comes in with some fire and attitude. His running knees in the corner weren’t half bad. Damn, Trice and Joe caught Price coming off the top rope in a powerbomb spot and then just dropped him face first right on the mat. That’ll ruin anybody’s night. Bonus points for this for being the best match on the show thus far.
5. Five Way Sudden Death Match: Dave Crist vs. Jake Crist vs. Ron Mathis vs. Matt Taylor vs. Lil’ C - 5
Five minutes in and we get Lil’ C running in and the ring announcer randomly declaring him a legal participant. I suppose in some weird, convoluted way that makes sense. Big dive sequence followed with more action than I could keep up with. Mathis did a big dive from the top rope to the floor and the Crists did a big double dive to the floor. This has turned into a big five man free-for-all, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing as it’s kept the pace quick with little down time. That though can be a bad thing because if you move right onto the next move before letting the previous one sink in, it defeats the effect of the prior move. The random “O-I-4-K” chants are getting a little annoying. The solo section with the Crist brothers fighting each other was good. What the hell was that? Some weird Canadian destroyer looking move from the top rope looked like it just wrecked both guys. Taylor looks to have improved a hell of a lot from the last time I saw him in HWA about three years ago. He’s got more aggressiveness and his offensive looks much, much crisper. Finish seemed to come from out of nowhere on a simple kick to the face. Nice to see Taylor getting the win and a title shot as he’s been around the Southwest Ohio area forever.
6. The Man Simply Known as Michael, C.W. Scott, & Big Jim Hutchinson vs. Jeremy Madrox, Jon Murray, & Bruce Gray - 4
Madrox has been MIA, at least from what I’ve seen, in the local area for a while. Nice to see that he’s resurfaced. I always liked his old-timey boxer character. The only time I remember seeing Big Jim was in the opener at an HWA show in Dayton in December of 2003 and he wasn’t very good. I had no clue he was still wrestling. Did I seriously just hear the announcers reference “Ready to Rumble” on commentary? Big Jim just destroyed Gray with a big boot. I’ve seen Murray around HWA a few times, wasn’t a big fan of his work as he looked like a poor man’s Mick Foley and not very funny, despite his best efforts to do comedy. The heel team here looked pretty good with Big Jim especially looking surprisingly good and helping to carry the load quite well. A random Ron Mathis run in? Ok, sure, why not. Murray and Madrox come in and throw some clubbing blows. Madrox I don’t thing was ever tagged in legally which makes me sad. Match was decent and things seem to be getting progressively better on this show.
7. Best of Seven Series Final: Nate Wings vs. Alex Colon - 5
Did the ring announcer really just announce Wings at 114 pounds? He looks like he weighs less than 100 pounds soaking wet. Action has been pretty fast and furious thus far with Wings busting out a couple of dives. Nice snap superplex from the top rope by Colon. Im impressed that they’be been able to keep up a breakneck pace for the amount of time the match has been going. German suplex by Colon nearly snapped Wings in half. Wings hit an awesome spike DDT right on the ring apron that probably could have jammed Colon’s next something awful. Colon just absolutely destroyed Wings with a powerbomb into the side of the ring and then proceeded to hit a brainbuster right on top of the turnbuckle. Two really awesome moves but Wings went right into his comeback after taking them. Nose-to-nose spot and the lights go out leading me to believe they forgot to pay the electric bill. Lights come back on and there are two random dudes in masks in the ring beating the shit out of Colon and Wings. Match was going good and staring to pick up until this nonsense. Probably would have gotten to the recommended category just for the three big moves but the end just ruined it.
8. Ganger vs. The Great American Beast - 4
Big brawl to start with these two just laying into each other, Beast slamming Ganger on the floor and delivering a Cactus Jack elbow from the apron. Ganger then countered with a t-bone suplex on the floor and then another into the ring post. Beast is one seriously hairy dude. Just think of a younger version of Albert about five inches shorter and you’ll get the idea. Some good nearfalls here, especially one off a Samoan Drop that Beast hit from the top rope. Ganger has improved ten times since I remember seeing him do a Shrek gimmick in HWA where he lost a match and had to wear a Shrek mask. Beast won with a nice armbar that would make Ronda Rousey pround. Two big dudes just pounding on each other, I enjoyed this.
9. Rockstar Pro Championship: Benjamin Kimera vs. Aaron Williams - 3
The ring announcer channeled his best Bruce Buffer and introduced this like a big match. However, it lost a lot of luster as soon as it started as the match quickly slowed. Williams did some stalling early and worked over Kimera’s neck with a cravat lock. Williams is being touted as the “baddest man alive”. I’m sure Anderson Silva or Georges St. Pierre would like to have something to say about that. Couple of boring chants from the crowd. Yeah, mat work for what is supposedly a heated grudge match for the top belt in the promotion really wouldn’t do it for me either. We’re about ten minutes in, the mat work and rest holds have gone nowhere, and I’m beginning to wonder if that’s all these guys are going to do. Kimera hits a urinage slam and then blatanly rips off C.M. Punk and applies the Anaconda Vice. Finally, we get some action going with Williams hitting an Ace Crusher of all things, Kimera hitting a pretty vicious spinebuster, and Williams hitting a picture perfect frog-splash. Ref bump for no discernable reason. Not sure why we needed that but OK. Ref wakes up, counts a nearfall, and gets squished in the corner again as a bunch of dudes in black hoodies in jeans look to interfere. Sloppy roll-up mercifully ends this.
Good thing this show was free because I would not have plunked down $15 to see it otherwise.
12/13/2013
Rockstar Pro Arena - Dayton, OH
Rockstar Pro is a company that runs every Wednesday out of Dayton, Ohio and features old HWA stalwarts such as Cody Hawk, Ron Mathis, Aaron Williams, Benjamin Kimera, Ganger, and The Crist Brothers among others … so basically, the majority of the HWA roster from 2006. Apparently this show was a free iPPV … free as in it was free to watch not free to get into the building. By the way, who came up with the name “Kool Kat Christmas”? Sounds like it should be the name of a live music night at a hipster bar, not a wrestling show. Enough rambling, lets FIGHT~!
1. Cody Hawk vs. Andrew Stryker - 2
According to the announcers, this is ten years in the making. This Stryker kid was probably in high school ten years ago. What, did Cody Hawk come into science class one day and throw this kid into a bunch of beakers and bunson burners? Ok, well apparently he’s Matt Stryker’s kid and this is a continuation of the Hawk/Matt Stryker feud from HWA years back. That makes more sense then. Five minutes in and Stryker looks like he’s just completely blown up. Stryker hit a nice Kurt Angle-style superplex from the top rope. I’ve never been a the world’s biggest Cody Hawk fan and this is just another reason why. His work is lazy and exhibits no emotion whatsoever. Fuck, Hawk’s muscle buster finisher was just horrible. This felt like a match you would probably see during a training class.
2. The Squad (Tom McClane & Matt Brannigan) vs. “Dirty” Miguel Sanchez & Austin Bradley - 3
Good lord, this MUST be 2006 as Brock Guffman is managing the heel team of The Squad. Sanchez is supposedly from Tijuana. I’ll believe that when I see his green card as I call bullshit on that. Bradley seems to have the basics down but doesn’t really have a discernable look. Double closthesline spot from Bradley was pretty bad and the hot tag to Sanchez was more lukewarm than anything. McClane’s nickname is supposedly “Die Hard” so I’ll let you insert your own Bruce Willis/Die Hard joke here. Tag work from The Squad looked a little disjointed in spots and the finishing spot culminating with Branningan getting a pin with a reverse lung blower was super sloppy.
3. Kyle Maverick vs. G-Force - 1
G-Force looks like Delirious if he was ten years older and tattooed all to hell. Enziguri spot from Maverick missed completely and looked as if they got lost for a minute. G-Force’s tornado DDT was more of a stiff breeze DDT. Maverick supposedly has a background in MMA. His kicks looked awful and so did his punches. This was just awful and lacked anything anywhere near notable.
4. The Dirty South (Pompano Joe & Trice) vs. The Rookies (Brandon James & Mason Price) - 4
Pompano Joe was the last guy I thought I would see on this show but it’s welcome. Last time I saw Trice, he was rocking some Spiderman tights while getting ripped apart by Dan Severn about two years ago in a shady skating rink. This James dude seems pretty competent but I'm not sure that I trust a man whose nickname is "Honey Badger". Nice leg lariat by Pompano Joe on James. Hot tag to Price and he comes in with some fire and attitude. His running knees in the corner weren’t half bad. Damn, Trice and Joe caught Price coming off the top rope in a powerbomb spot and then just dropped him face first right on the mat. That’ll ruin anybody’s night. Bonus points for this for being the best match on the show thus far.
5. Five Way Sudden Death Match: Dave Crist vs. Jake Crist vs. Ron Mathis vs. Matt Taylor vs. Lil’ C - 5
Five minutes in and we get Lil’ C running in and the ring announcer randomly declaring him a legal participant. I suppose in some weird, convoluted way that makes sense. Big dive sequence followed with more action than I could keep up with. Mathis did a big dive from the top rope to the floor and the Crists did a big double dive to the floor. This has turned into a big five man free-for-all, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing as it’s kept the pace quick with little down time. That though can be a bad thing because if you move right onto the next move before letting the previous one sink in, it defeats the effect of the prior move. The random “O-I-4-K” chants are getting a little annoying. The solo section with the Crist brothers fighting each other was good. What the hell was that? Some weird Canadian destroyer looking move from the top rope looked like it just wrecked both guys. Taylor looks to have improved a hell of a lot from the last time I saw him in HWA about three years ago. He’s got more aggressiveness and his offensive looks much, much crisper. Finish seemed to come from out of nowhere on a simple kick to the face. Nice to see Taylor getting the win and a title shot as he’s been around the Southwest Ohio area forever.
6. The Man Simply Known as Michael, C.W. Scott, & Big Jim Hutchinson vs. Jeremy Madrox, Jon Murray, & Bruce Gray - 4
Madrox has been MIA, at least from what I’ve seen, in the local area for a while. Nice to see that he’s resurfaced. I always liked his old-timey boxer character. The only time I remember seeing Big Jim was in the opener at an HWA show in Dayton in December of 2003 and he wasn’t very good. I had no clue he was still wrestling. Did I seriously just hear the announcers reference “Ready to Rumble” on commentary? Big Jim just destroyed Gray with a big boot. I’ve seen Murray around HWA a few times, wasn’t a big fan of his work as he looked like a poor man’s Mick Foley and not very funny, despite his best efforts to do comedy. The heel team here looked pretty good with Big Jim especially looking surprisingly good and helping to carry the load quite well. A random Ron Mathis run in? Ok, sure, why not. Murray and Madrox come in and throw some clubbing blows. Madrox I don’t thing was ever tagged in legally which makes me sad. Match was decent and things seem to be getting progressively better on this show.
7. Best of Seven Series Final: Nate Wings vs. Alex Colon - 5
Did the ring announcer really just announce Wings at 114 pounds? He looks like he weighs less than 100 pounds soaking wet. Action has been pretty fast and furious thus far with Wings busting out a couple of dives. Nice snap superplex from the top rope by Colon. Im impressed that they’be been able to keep up a breakneck pace for the amount of time the match has been going. German suplex by Colon nearly snapped Wings in half. Wings hit an awesome spike DDT right on the ring apron that probably could have jammed Colon’s next something awful. Colon just absolutely destroyed Wings with a powerbomb into the side of the ring and then proceeded to hit a brainbuster right on top of the turnbuckle. Two really awesome moves but Wings went right into his comeback after taking them. Nose-to-nose spot and the lights go out leading me to believe they forgot to pay the electric bill. Lights come back on and there are two random dudes in masks in the ring beating the shit out of Colon and Wings. Match was going good and staring to pick up until this nonsense. Probably would have gotten to the recommended category just for the three big moves but the end just ruined it.
8. Ganger vs. The Great American Beast - 4
Big brawl to start with these two just laying into each other, Beast slamming Ganger on the floor and delivering a Cactus Jack elbow from the apron. Ganger then countered with a t-bone suplex on the floor and then another into the ring post. Beast is one seriously hairy dude. Just think of a younger version of Albert about five inches shorter and you’ll get the idea. Some good nearfalls here, especially one off a Samoan Drop that Beast hit from the top rope. Ganger has improved ten times since I remember seeing him do a Shrek gimmick in HWA where he lost a match and had to wear a Shrek mask. Beast won with a nice armbar that would make Ronda Rousey pround. Two big dudes just pounding on each other, I enjoyed this.
9. Rockstar Pro Championship: Benjamin Kimera vs. Aaron Williams - 3
The ring announcer channeled his best Bruce Buffer and introduced this like a big match. However, it lost a lot of luster as soon as it started as the match quickly slowed. Williams did some stalling early and worked over Kimera’s neck with a cravat lock. Williams is being touted as the “baddest man alive”. I’m sure Anderson Silva or Georges St. Pierre would like to have something to say about that. Couple of boring chants from the crowd. Yeah, mat work for what is supposedly a heated grudge match for the top belt in the promotion really wouldn’t do it for me either. We’re about ten minutes in, the mat work and rest holds have gone nowhere, and I’m beginning to wonder if that’s all these guys are going to do. Kimera hits a urinage slam and then blatanly rips off C.M. Punk and applies the Anaconda Vice. Finally, we get some action going with Williams hitting an Ace Crusher of all things, Kimera hitting a pretty vicious spinebuster, and Williams hitting a picture perfect frog-splash. Ref bump for no discernable reason. Not sure why we needed that but OK. Ref wakes up, counts a nearfall, and gets squished in the corner again as a bunch of dudes in black hoodies in jeans look to interfere. Sloppy roll-up mercifully ends this.
Good thing this show was free because I would not have plunked down $15 to see it otherwise.
Saturday, December 21, 2013
Funaki & Petey Williams vs. D.O.C. & Knux
Funaki and Petey Williams vs. D.O.C. and Knux - TNA One Night Only: World Cup - 3
Did you know PWI awarded Aces & Eights vs. TNA as Feud of the Year in 2012? Let's not pause on that. I bet D.O.C.'s jeans smell worse than a truck driver after a cross-country trek. Funaki dressed in his SmackDown! #1 Announcer gear with not one but two mock SD! logos on it. Funaki's punches look like he's skipping stones in a pond. I've never been more hot and cold on a tag team before. I'm game for Funaki but Petey is the drizzling shits. Williams' ROH run is the cure for insomnia. D.O.C. has a pretty decent jumping leg drop but he's no Ernie Ladd. Wonder if Knux could get into BoLA next year? I'd love to see him go out in the first round to Candice LeRae or Johnny Yuma. This World Cup has been about as international as an IHOP. Petey did some slingshot move that was indecipherable. Funaki nearfall off of a crossbody. Haven't seen one of those finish someone off since Adam Cole beat Davey Richards at ROH's 10th Ann. show. Lousy finish with a hammer shot so fraudulent I made a citizen's arrest on my cable box.
Did you know PWI awarded Aces & Eights vs. TNA as Feud of the Year in 2012? Let's not pause on that. I bet D.O.C.'s jeans smell worse than a truck driver after a cross-country trek. Funaki dressed in his SmackDown! #1 Announcer gear with not one but two mock SD! logos on it. Funaki's punches look like he's skipping stones in a pond. I've never been more hot and cold on a tag team before. I'm game for Funaki but Petey is the drizzling shits. Williams' ROH run is the cure for insomnia. D.O.C. has a pretty decent jumping leg drop but he's no Ernie Ladd. Wonder if Knux could get into BoLA next year? I'd love to see him go out in the first round to Candice LeRae or Johnny Yuma. This World Cup has been about as international as an IHOP. Petey did some slingshot move that was indecipherable. Funaki nearfall off of a crossbody. Haven't seen one of those finish someone off since Adam Cole beat Davey Richards at ROH's 10th Ann. show. Lousy finish with a hammer shot so fraudulent I made a citizen's arrest on my cable box.
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