Saturday, December 28, 2013

Rockstar Pro Wrestling "Kool Kat Christmas" iPPV - 12/13/2013

Rockstar Pro Wrestling “Kool Kat Christmas”
Rockstar Pro Arena - Dayton, OH

Rockstar Pro is a company that runs every Wednesday out of Dayton, Ohio and features old HWA stalwarts such as Cody Hawk, Ron Mathis, Aaron Williams, Benjamin Kimera, Ganger, and The Crist Brothers among others … so basically, the majority of the HWA roster from 2006. Apparently this show was a free iPPV … free as in it was free to watch not free to get into the building. By the way, who came up with the name “Kool Kat Christmas”? Sounds like it should be the name of a live music night at a hipster bar, not a wrestling show. Enough rambling, lets FIGHT~!

1. Cody Hawk vs. Andrew Stryker - 2

According to the announcers, this is ten years in the making. This Stryker kid was probably in high school ten years ago. What, did Cody Hawk come into science class one day and throw this kid into a bunch of beakers and bunson burners? Ok, well apparently he’s Matt Stryker’s kid and this is a continuation of the Hawk/Matt Stryker feud from HWA years back. That makes more sense then. Five minutes in and Stryker looks like he’s just completely blown up. Stryker hit a nice Kurt Angle-style superplex from the top rope. I’ve never been a the world’s biggest Cody Hawk fan and this is just another reason why. His work is lazy and exhibits no emotion whatsoever. Fuck, Hawk’s muscle buster finisher was just horrible. This felt like a match you would probably see during a training class.

2. The Squad (Tom McClane & Matt Brannigan) vs. “Dirty” Miguel Sanchez & Austin Bradley - 3

Good lord, this MUST be 2006 as Brock Guffman is managing the heel team of The Squad. Sanchez is supposedly from Tijuana. I’ll believe that when I see his green card as I call bullshit on that. Bradley seems to have the basics down but doesn’t really have a discernable look. Double closthesline spot from Bradley was pretty bad and the hot tag to Sanchez was more lukewarm than anything. McClane’s nickname is supposedly “Die Hard” so I’ll let you insert your own Bruce Willis/Die Hard joke here. Tag work from The Squad looked a little disjointed in spots and the finishing spot culminating with Branningan getting a pin with a reverse lung blower was super sloppy.

3. Kyle Maverick vs. G-Force - 1

G-Force looks like Delirious if he was ten years older and tattooed all to hell. Enziguri spot from Maverick missed completely and looked as if they got lost for a minute. G-Force’s tornado DDT was more of a stiff breeze DDT. Maverick supposedly has a background in MMA. His kicks looked awful and so did his punches. This was just awful and lacked anything anywhere near notable.

4. The Dirty South (Pompano Joe & Trice) vs. The Rookies (Brandon James & Mason Price) - 4

Pompano Joe was the last guy I thought I would see on this show but it’s welcome. Last time I saw Trice, he was rocking some Spiderman tights while getting ripped apart by Dan Severn about two years ago in a shady skating rink. This James dude seems pretty competent but I'm not sure that I trust a man whose nickname is "Honey Badger". Nice leg lariat by Pompano Joe on James. Hot tag to Price and he comes in with some fire and attitude. His running knees in the corner weren’t half bad. Damn, Trice and Joe caught Price coming off the top rope in a powerbomb spot and then just dropped him face first right on the mat. That’ll ruin anybody’s night. Bonus points for this for being the best match on the show thus far.

5. Five Way Sudden Death Match: Dave Crist vs. Jake Crist vs. Ron Mathis vs. Matt Taylor vs. Lil’ C - 5

Five minutes in and we get Lil’ C running in and the ring announcer randomly declaring him a legal participant. I suppose in some weird, convoluted way that makes sense. Big dive sequence followed with more action than I could keep up with. Mathis did a big dive from the top rope to the floor and the Crists did a big double dive to the floor. This has turned into a big five man free-for-all, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing as it’s kept the pace quick with little down time. That though can be a bad thing because if you move right onto the next move before letting the previous one sink in, it defeats the effect of the prior move. The random “O-I-4-K” chants are getting a little annoying. The solo section with the Crist brothers fighting each other was good. What the hell was that? Some weird Canadian destroyer looking move from the top rope looked like it just wrecked both guys. Taylor looks to have improved a hell of a lot from the last time I saw him in HWA about three years ago. He’s got more aggressiveness and his offensive looks much, much crisper. Finish seemed to come from out of nowhere on a simple kick to the face. Nice to see Taylor getting the win and a title shot as he’s been around the Southwest Ohio area forever.

6. The Man Simply Known as Michael, C.W. Scott, & Big Jim Hutchinson vs. Jeremy Madrox, Jon Murray, & Bruce Gray - 4

Madrox has been MIA, at least from what I’ve seen, in the local area for a while. Nice to see that he’s resurfaced. I always liked his old-timey boxer character. The only time I remember seeing Big Jim was in the opener at an HWA show in Dayton in December of 2003 and he wasn’t very good. I had no clue he was still wrestling. Did I seriously just hear the announcers reference “Ready to Rumble” on commentary? Big Jim just destroyed Gray with a big boot. I’ve seen Murray around HWA a few times, wasn’t a big fan of his work as he looked like a poor man’s Mick Foley and not very funny, despite his best efforts to do comedy. The heel team here looked pretty good with Big Jim especially looking surprisingly good and helping to carry the load quite well. A random Ron Mathis run in? Ok, sure, why not. Murray and Madrox come in and throw some clubbing blows. Madrox I don’t thing was ever tagged in legally which makes me sad. Match was decent and things seem to be getting progressively better on this show.

7. Best of Seven Series Final: Nate Wings vs. Alex Colon - 5

Did the ring announcer really just announce Wings at 114 pounds? He looks like he weighs less than 100 pounds soaking wet. Action has been pretty fast and furious thus far with Wings busting out a couple of dives. Nice snap superplex from the top rope by Colon. Im impressed that they’be been able to keep up a breakneck pace for the amount of time the match has been going. German suplex by Colon nearly snapped Wings in half. Wings hit an awesome spike DDT right on the ring apron that probably could have jammed Colon’s next something awful. Colon just absolutely destroyed Wings with a powerbomb into the side of the ring and then proceeded to hit a brainbuster right on top of the turnbuckle. Two really awesome moves but Wings went right into his comeback after taking them. Nose-to-nose spot and the lights go out leading me to believe they forgot to pay the electric bill. Lights come back on and there are two random dudes in masks in the ring beating the shit out of Colon and Wings. Match was going good and staring to pick up until this nonsense. Probably would have gotten to the recommended category just for the three big moves but the end just ruined it.

8. Ganger vs. The Great American Beast - 4

Big brawl to start with these two just laying into each other, Beast slamming Ganger on the floor and delivering a Cactus Jack elbow from the apron. Ganger then countered with a t-bone suplex on the floor and then another into the ring post. Beast is one seriously hairy dude. Just think of a younger version of Albert about five inches shorter and you’ll get the idea. Some good nearfalls here, especially one off a Samoan Drop that Beast hit from the top rope. Ganger has improved ten times since I remember seeing him do a Shrek gimmick in HWA where he lost a match and had to wear a Shrek mask. Beast won with a nice armbar that would make Ronda Rousey pround. Two big dudes just pounding on each other, I enjoyed this.

9. Rockstar Pro Championship: Benjamin Kimera vs. Aaron Williams - 3

The ring announcer channeled his best Bruce Buffer and introduced this like a big match. However, it lost a lot of luster as soon as it started as the match quickly slowed. Williams did some stalling early and worked over Kimera’s neck with a cravat lock. Williams is being touted as the “baddest man alive”. I’m sure Anderson Silva or Georges St. Pierre would like to have something to say about that. Couple of boring chants from the crowd. Yeah, mat work for what is supposedly a heated grudge match for the top belt in the promotion really wouldn’t do it for me either. We’re about ten minutes in, the mat work and rest holds have gone nowhere, and I’m beginning to wonder if that’s all these guys are going to do. Kimera hits a urinage slam and then blatanly rips off C.M. Punk and applies the Anaconda Vice. Finally, we get some action going with Williams hitting an Ace Crusher of all things, Kimera hitting a pretty vicious spinebuster, and Williams hitting a picture perfect frog-splash. Ref bump for no discernable reason. Not sure why we needed that but OK. Ref wakes up, counts a nearfall, and gets squished in the corner again as a bunch of dudes in black hoodies in jeans look to interfere. Sloppy roll-up mercifully ends this.

Good thing this show was free because I would not have plunked down $15 to see it otherwise.

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