Monday, December 16, 2013

WWE TLC 2013 Kickoff

Our co-hosts (or cohorts?) were Mick Foley in Santa hat, Booker (is he permanently banned from Wendy's in the greater Houston area?), and Miz looking like a candy cane with pinstriped shirt. I hear he and Maryse set a date for their wedding. Too bad the "Kliq" is dead -- would have been great for Hall and the boys to send them a wedding gift of a box full of fecal casserole. Good luck finding a wedding dress that'll cover those silver dollar nipples. Ahem, let's get back on topic and watch some 720p res pro wres in the 'ol web browser Netscape '97.

Kofi comes out and interrupts the broadcast slapping Miz across his face and making his dandy boy haircut undulate. I'm guessing this leads to a match on the PPV proper for them. I'm sure the guy in Sec 207 Row J Seat 12 is thrilled.

1. Dolph Ziggler vs. Fandango - 2

I wonder if JBL still has any of that shitty MamaJuana Energy left? I could use one to power through this night. Fandango's wrists are limper than Lawler faced with the prospect of sleeping with a woman his own age. 15 sec. into the bout we go to a commercial? On a free webcast which is basically a big infomercial for the PPV anyway? Back with a Fanny chinlock, Back suplex to escape by Dolph leaves Fanda bouncing across the mat like a little league grounder. Dolph flying clothesline looked like Evan Bourne aping. Fando doing a "Falcon Arrow" made Hayabusa roll his wheelchair down a fire escape (which strangely was located a few ft. away from his computer). Top rope legdrop for the win by Dango Unchained not Alabama Jam maybe Alabama Apple Butter.

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