Tuesday, October 11, 2011

WCW Saturday Night 11/16, 11/23, 11/30/91

1) Cactus Jack v. TC Carter- 2
2) Arachnaman v. Pat Rose- 2
3) Dustin Rhodes v. Greg Sawyer- 2

Carter's wardrobe would make Bootsy Collins jealous. This felt like a kid kicking a rock down the street; Carter just takes it all, but doesn't necesseraly reflect it although at one point outside Carter looks like he's crying like he did at the end of Waiting to Exhale. Luckily Spidey never used streamers for web shooters; also lucky Arachnaman never tried to swing from a building. I believe Arachna is Brad Armstrong; yep, can tell by the dropkick. Rose is a tough dude, but he looks like the eternal turtle on his back. Finish sequence felt campier than the Marvel Hero fights from Macy's Thanksgiving Parade back in the 80's. You must have gotten a bonus for doing the most armdrags on the show during this time, as Dustin tries to top Arachna's 13 here. This was over faster than Dusty's last diet.

4) Mr. Hughes v. Buddy Baker- 1
5) Johnny B. Badd/ Diamond Studd/ Teddy Long v. Brian Pillman/ Mike Graham - 3
6) Oz v. Rick Steiner - 2

Baker looked like an overgrown child and obviously was not taught how to take a bump. The offense looked rough because of Baker but it was all done sloppily. Long comes out wearing a skin colored swimmers cap; I thought all black penises were supposed to be large? Holla holla. There's nothing going on here you wouldn't go over your first month of wrestling school. Seeing Pillman and Hall, two of the most controversial characters in wrestling history lock up was an enigma. Rick and Oz burst into their match with tons of energy and it was getting stiff in that ring but Rick's flying bulldog off the top left a worse taste in my mouth than soup beans.

7) PN News/ Z-Man v. Steve Austin/ Vader - 4
8) Steve Armstrong v. Rick Rude - 3
9) Van Hammer v. George South- 1
10) Thomas Rich v. Sting- 2

Our tag bout here was the best thing on the show. Austin's smarminess just oozes out of his tights made from leftover material from a gymnastics 7th grade competition team. Vader walked in like he owned the ring and just pulverized News like a pound of hamburger. There was some good back and forth from all 4 guys and seemed the only match to have given any thought to it. Rude did his shtick, allowed Armstrong some offense but it was all controlled by the Ravishing One; still better than most. Hammer looked like a blind turtle left inside a cardboard box, lost. South had a nice uppercut but this sucked. Sting finally broke the armdrag streak by working an armbar. This didn't take long either and Sting looked pretty bored.

1) Dustin Rhodes/ Ricky Steamboat v. Bob Cook/?- 3
2) PN News v. Pat Rose- 3
3) Cactus Jack v. Rick Ryder- 2
4) The Young Pistols v. The Freebirds- 4

2nd episode starts out highlighting the new tag champions Dustin & Steamboat's title win (which i remember seeing live and totally marking out for). They show their worthiness here, as both men complete each other's next move in a fun piece of tag work. PN also makes good use of his 4-5 minutes, almost like he's working on his act, like a stand up comedian on stage. He tries all kinds of wacky shit, like the Willy Wonka of wrestling. His finish is exactly what it should be. Cactus kind of just quickly mauls Ryder, even though he throws a better dropkick than most anyone else on this show.

With this tag bout, weird the Freebirds were face and Pistols were heels; but both are good at their roles. Smothers took a crazy spill outside; looked like a Roman assassin meeting up with Titus Pullo. Just saw a PWG tag match before this where a superkick and hurricanrana off the top rope barely fazed guys and here Hayes left hand is enough to give someone a hospital stay for the night. Wrestling really needs to get back to using psychology that makes sense. Surprise ending amdist some clustering gives me happy thoughts like eating chocolate chip cookies or playing Prince of Persia for my PC.

5) The York Foundation v. Arachnaman/ Big Josh/ Z-Man - 2
6) Rick Rude v. Joey Maggs- 2

This 6 man tag was as transparent as Gentleman Ghost's junk. I was looking forward to this match but it was just an angle. The York boys were having all sorts of communication problems, leaving a lumberjack, wannabe superhero and a dude wearing Neon green for a living look like smart people. I was trying to get into the multiple false starts for this but it just never went anywhere near out of 1st gear. Maggs is a classic WCW jobber who writhes really well in pain; Rude measured him for a few moments but finished him rather quickly.

7) Steiner Brothers v. Lex Luger/ Mr. Hughes - 5

This is as physical as I imagine a night of love making would be with Bull Nakano. Rick was pushed particularly strong here and pulled off some dynamic offense. This was one of Luger's best runs, the champion who still played calculating heel and Jim Ross on commentary elevated this as well.

1) Johnny B. Badd v. Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker- 2
2) Diamond Studd v. Scott Allen- 3
3) Todd Champion/ Firebreaker Chip v. Arn Anderson/ Bobby Eaton- 4

Parker is known these days for running the Power Plant but he looked like a wet behind the ears rookie, despite seeming to be age 41. He just looked as lost as a HHH giving a public interview, or a 3 year old navigating a corn maze, whichever comparison you prefer. I liked Allen attacking Hall pre-match outside but he paid for it, as Hall dished out some nasty Ore ida potatoes to the youngster. This was just a run of all of Hall's most hurty moves so bumped it up. The Dangerous Alliance team just rules my TV here; the Patriots were completely unseasoned but Champion at least had the right energy. Eaton's right hand was just devastating and he was being liberal with it. Guillotine legdrop will always get you in my good graces. Paul E joining commentary really made these guys seem even better than their in ring did.

4) Cactus Jack v. Brian Pillman- 5
5) Arachnaman v. Steve Austin- 3
6) Z-Man v. John Peterson- 2

I have to give Foley and Pillman credit for going that extra mile, guard rail bumps, suplexes outside, they were just throwning all their crazy shit out in this one and had fun with it. This next match must go on record as Arachnaman's only title shot; he didn't do much with it. Austin wasn't connecting at all with audience to discern himself from any other heel, just going through the motions of a plodding hammerlock war with Arachna, who would be an even lamer Spidey villain than Walrus Man. Z-Man throws a cool superkick but he's the 7th best guy doing armdrags in this series and that's all he did.

7) Mr. Hughes v. Johnny Rich - 2
8) Richard Morton/ Terrence Taylor v. Dustin Rhodes/ Ricky Steamboat- 5

Another Hughes mauling but even his AWF stuff years later had more panache than this. Main event was a Tag Title match. Dustin even looked foggy here, at one point doing armdrag after armdrag (which is usually Steamboat's thing) as if he was a skipping CD playing in a loop. Dragon is just so good at putting together cool combinations of moves and he and Morton provide the most fun sequences. Some later badly timed sequences and more partner dissension keep this from being recommendable but was probably the longest bout of these shows and featured 3 quite talented hands (Sorry, Rooster.)


Brian said...

really good stuff.. one of the more fun reads in awhile.. - think you should do these sort of TV revs more regulary

Jessie said...

thank you.....had a lot of fun watching them for sure...think that come out in the text

Adam said...

Really enjoyed reading this. Good work Jess. Mind passing these along?