Monday, June 22, 2009

ECW When Worlds Collide- 05/14/1994

1) Mikey Whipwreck v. 911 (TV Title match)- 1
2) "Superfly" Jimmy Snuka v. Kevin Sullivan- 3
3) Sandman/ Woman v. Tommy Cairo/ Peachs (Singapore Caning Match)- 2
4) Pitbull Gary Wolfe v. Tasmaniac- 3
5) Shane Douglas/ Mr. Huges/ Public Enemy v. JT Smith/ Bruise Brothers (Elimination Match)- 4
6) Sabu/ Bobby Eaton v. Terry Funk/ Arn Anderson- 6

I basically ordered this show for the main event; i've always wanted to see it and since Adam keeps bestowing upon us these wonderful $1 dvd sales, how could i not? anyways, Whipwreck comes out looking like a complete 16 year old kid who has a elven mage in his Dungeon's and Dragons game, collects fossilized bug larvae in hopes he can make his own Jurassic Park one day and still beats it to pictures of Lisa from Saved by the Bell. He has giant glowing red pimples all over his face and his TV title belt droops off his waist like a kid wearing an oversized cowboy hat. 911 does nothing but chokeslam him repeatedly along with a few of the ref's for an instant DQ in a nothing match. Next up is a semi-fun crowd brawl and for some reason Snuka is dressed like George from the Jungle. Sullivan takes delight in using every single fan-brought weapon on Snuka's hard head, including a skillet and a hammer. Superfly doesn't do a damn thing but get his ass beat until a surprise rollup at the end. The beatdown was fun for a few minutes; so wanted to see more of a match. The caning match was a joke, as was Sandman's performance. He stumbled through most of the spots and I could see Cairo, a bulging muscular dude in blue jeans getting angry. The cat fight portion was dumb but still original at that time. Peaches pinned Sandman after supposedly Cairo KO'd him with the cane, although it wasn't shown. Thank god they also didn't get the up close view of the caning afterwards when Peaches, like the sick chick she is, pulled Sandy's Hammer pants down past his surely dimpled ass and canned that too.

Next match featured two "characters" and was mainly another crowd brawl; Styles called it before it started to reassure us we wouldn't see any wrestling. They hit a few power moves in the ring, but overall pretty bored with this match. Still not sure what the Tasmaniac character was supposed to be except mid-card. This elimination or "Survivor Series" style match was unusally long and drawn out. Mostly consisted of two really long sequences where Ron Harris and JT Smith both got their right legs worked over for at least 10 mins. each. The fans were itching to riot. Huges looked like a blind ape in there; he was stumbling over his own moves, trying to throw big boots in slacks wasn't working. Smith looked best for sure, selling the hell out of that leg, taking crazy acrobatic bumps due to it not being able to hold up his weight and such. Everyone but Smith and PE were counted out all at once in a mind-numbingly stupid concept. Enemy continued the leg work but were outsmarted and rolled up one by one, wasn't like most comebacks where he actually gets some offense, Smith just moved out of the way and got rollups, so they tried to play like he was really hurt. I liked his funny looking punches too.

The main event felt most like an old style ECW match to me, surprisingly. It was sloppier than homemade tacos but inherently fun at the same time. You had Sabu doing his big jumps and high flying offense, but not completely ruining the match with fucked up spot one after the other. Funk was just crazy and went all Southern Ohio indy with the broken table piece set up on the rope for a piledriver that Eaton got driven into. Eaton was throwing all kinds of nasty uppercuts and really took to the style by climbing up into the "Eagle's Nest" with Funk and getting piledriven on what looked like the ductwork where the air conditioning comes out of. Arn was the Elmer's here though; kept the pace up, took a ton of crazy spots Sabu and Eaton tried to pull off, sold big and sold crazy for a lot of stuff like it was death. Just enjoyed the thing as a whole. After the show, Paul E. cut this tremendous promo on Funk that I've never seen or heard about but it was intense as anything I've seen promo wise in a while. This show isn't recommended but if you find it cheap, get it just for the novelty of seeing Funk trying to break a pinfall as his old ass is caught in the ring apron. You'll laugh your ass off.

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