Wednesday, June 10, 2009

AAA on Galavision 5/30/09

1. Fabi Apache, Octagoncito, and Pimpinela Escarlata vs. Decnnis, Mari Apache, and Mini Abismo Negro - 3
2. Crazy Boy and Super Fly vs. Jack Evans and Teddy Hart - 3
3. Killer Clown, Psycho Clown, and Zombie Clown vs. La Parka Jr., Marco Corleone, and Vampiro - 2
4. Charly Manson and Cibernetico vs. Joe Lider and Ozz- 3
5. Mesias vs. Dark Ozz - 2

First match in we've got ladies, dwarfs, and cross-dressers? Lucha is all about timing, this was a fun opener, and ran relatively smoothly save for some minor things like Decnnis waiting on the outside blankly for a Escarlata dive, etc. Pimpinela's kiss-based offense wasn't doing much for me, but, her/his open-hand slap to Decnnis' chest did. Octagoncito can fly, hit a tremendous springboard spinning plancha to the floor, etc. Why is Mini Abismo one of the tallest of six competitors?

Crazy Boy's slamming entrance song and bikini-clad second had me hot-stepping around my living room. I've noticed they've artificially added in sound effects, whenever there's a kick or a chop, it sounds like two pieces of lumber slapping together--this is incredibly distracting and annoying. They're using a heel ref which has been done to death. This seems like mostly a slapdash collection of moves by Hart and Evans and not much else. Crazy Boy does sell the damage pretty well, though. Hart uses Evans' foot to catapult him into the air for an aerial spot, Jack lands ass-first on a legdrop as a result. Evans does a tasty springboard from the second buckle into a moonsault dropkick over the ropes onto Super Fly out on the apron. Hart does a crazy corkscrew from the top and lands on his tailbone compacting his spine, moments later its forgotten as he erases it from my memory by doing a sick move where he basically does a powerbomb but at the last moment drops down to his back and sticks his knees up so you land onto them--ouch.

Corleone is Mark Jindrak, he and Vampiro have both neither improved, Marco's still got a nice dropkick but their selling is sluggish and awkward and this just isn't much good. La Parka, Jr. looks the worst of all--I don't know if he was heavily medicated or what, but, nobody should be that slow in a lucha six-man tag. The clown collective is sort of great, at least the concept and costumes, I'm especially digging Zombie Clown. This match never gets out of first gear and should be towed for illegally parking in the "acceptable wrestling" zone.

Cibernetico starts by selling a single Ozz punch for a half-minute. Really? Later, not to be outdone, Lider sells simultaneous kicks by Manson and Cibernetico by making a face like a repulsed guest hearing an offensive joke at an elegant dinner party. Charly pulls off the Manson impersonation quite well, although clearly he never did "booger sugar" with Rose McGowan and then fucked in a suite in the Hotel Sorbonne in Paris like I imagine the real one did. Ozz could have fit in with the Mortis/Wrath/Glacier group--he rocks a purple chestplate that's so Mighty Morphin Power Rangers I'm surprised Saban Entertainment isn't taking them to court. Lider sells Manson's finishing submission like someone just stuffed a habanero pepper in his pee hole; afterward, Charly starts gyrating and convulsing in the ring and I'm suddenly wondering if this isn't some sort of bad dream?

My listings had Electro Shock as Mesias' opponent but it's actually Dark Ozz who looks like the prototype of a Robert Rodriguez brainstorm about zombie cowboys. Mesias gets knocked into the crowd and I thought I heard someone yell, "Guau usted es un hombre feo que apesta de la desesperación", or, something about him reeking of desperation. Mesias plays to the crowd like he was Sting or Hogan, but, works like he's Buddy Lee Parker.

No comments: