Sunday, May 28, 2006

WCW Starrcade '88 - True Gritt

1. Fantastics vs. Steve Williams and Kevin Sullivan - Clipped - 4
2. Midnight Express vs. Original Midnight Express - 3
3. Russian Assassians vs. Junkyard Dog and Ivan Koloff - 2
4. Mike Rotunda vs. Rick Stiener - Clipped - 5
5. Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Barry Windham - 8
6. Dusty Rhodes and Sting vs. Road Wariors - 6
7. Ric Flair vs. Lex Luger - 7

The Fantastics are fucking fantastic, with their trend setting offense and charm; Williams and Sullivan represent the complete opposite, ruthless brutes that aren't afraid to throw you on your head and stomp your stomach. The battle between the two Midnight Express teams wasn't pretty, but fun in an erstwhile way. I'd never seen Randy Rose work before -- his gigantic mullet and ability to suck astounded me. Dennis Condrey should have been cleaning drains, not putting guys in chinlocks. Lane and Eaton's trunks with the fluorescent stripes are ridiculously sexy.

Seeing Koloff and JYD teaming together almost caused my brain to explode. I have no idea who the lanky Russian Assassins are, but they must have been pretty good at fellatio because they got put over here. Rotunda and Steiner was pretty awesome -- I wish it wouldn't have been clipped. These guys were drilling each other and looked at their best -- I was totally digging it.

Bam Bam and Barry stole the show in my opinion, although the main event has more historical significance. These guys worked a tight and solid match, one that I'd easily watch again and again any day of the week. There was one spot where they both took a nasty spill to the floor that requires repeated rewindings to truly appreciate. This is just awesome and you should tattoo flames on your skull and watch it with your pants off.

Dusty and Sting versus the Road Warriors is your classic tag team encounter. You know the drill, the heels destroy one of the good guys until, believe it or not, they’ll tag in their partner who like a man possessed saves the day. At least I think they used that trusted formula in this match, I can't remember though, as my short-term memory was erased when Dusty Rhodes busted out a motherfucking dropkick. Flair and Lex is a testament to how a good worker can carry a subpar worker to a quality match. Lex looks like a million bucks and performs like $7. His offense is so limited, his face so elongated, and he'd sooner retire than take an actual bump. Flair is obviously tremendously gifted, carrying Luger for 40+ minutes in a watchable, albeit not perfect main event.

No comments: