1 Johnny Nitro v. Jeff Hardy- 5
2 Kane v. Umaga- 3
3 Spirit Squad v. Highlanders- 3
4 Degeneration X v. McMahons/ Big Show (Hell in a Cell)- 4
5 Trish Stratus v. Lita- 4
6 Carlito v. Randy Orton- 4
7 John Cena v. Edge (TLC)- 5
The event was pretty okay; not to say there wasn’t a lot of effort put into the matches. Hardy and Nitro put together a lot of innovative spots and Nitro was working a body part. They had a good teased ending, a few of them, that paid off, but we had Melina interference. Hardy bumped pretty good and seems to have adopted his old style back. Kane and Umaga were swinging leather and having a decent match. They were both throwing big punches and kicks, but the ending came quickly; a double countout. The tag match had a cool feel to it, kind of an old school tag match that never truly got started. It didn’t have any memorable spots or really hot tags so I couldn’t rate it too highly. The Hell in the Cell was pretty damned violent. Big Show absolutely looked atrocious. He didn’t take one real legit bump the whole match; instead he relegated himself to the big goofy guy who gets outsmarted. Shane was putting in one of his hardest nights of work in years, but Vince didn’t seem to be a big factor. HHH got his ear cut pretty severely and Michaels was working pretty hard, so the match had it’s ups and downs. All the big spots did seem pre-planned( as Brian pointed out to me), and I would have enjoyed it more if some of it seemed more off the cuff. It had the feeling of a culmination of a feud, which is hopefully what this was. Trish’s last match had some decent spots, and was given more time than it usually would be. They teased her not winning, but I think it was the right call to give her a little recognition on the way out; after all, they have treated her, at times, pretty badly( of course who haven’t they done that to?" Carlito and Orton could’ve produced a pretty good match, and were even said by JR to try and steal the show, but they did nothing of the sort. They didn’t even go ten minutes, yet they put in some decent wrestling, finished with a RKO off a springboard. The TLC match featured several, several table bumps, yet I think the single table one Cena took was the best; definitely the stiffest. Cena winning the title was a shot to the Canadian fans, yet I think it is the best move for their long term plans, although I think Edge could probably have better matches with more people. A very acceptable PPV.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
WWE Unforgiven ‘06
1. Johnny Nitro v. Jeff Hardy - 4
2. Kane v. Umaga - 3
3. Spirit Squad v. Highlanders - 2
4. Degeneration X v. McMahons and Big Show - Hell In A Cell Match- 4
5. Trish Stratus v. Lita - 3
6. Carlito v. Randy Orton - 3
7. John Cena v. Edge – TLC (Tables, Ladders, Chairs) Match - 5
I watched this pay-per-view from the confines of a loud sports bar; granted, I wasn’t able to jot down any significant notes, outside of my waitresses’ phone number, but I did watch the show pretty closely (when I wasn’t distracted by the pinball machine or eating teriyaki wings). Ultimately, it was a passable, if not slightly above outing – although rife with problems as expected.
They gave Nitro and Hardy more time than I’d assumed they would, which wasn’t bad, and with the exception of some sloppiness they built a pretty decent match. The finish, featuring lame interference as Hardy got hit with a shoe, killed any chances it had of being truly recommendable. Kane and Umaga was destined to be ugly, and it was, but strangely enjoyable in a perverse way. Again, the ending, a double countout, definitely hindered any chance of me remotely finding this memorable. Spirit Squad and Highlanders gave us the most insufferable match of the event, not because it was particularly bad, but because nobody put forth an iota of effort. I should also mention that it was the third match in a row that was spoiled by a horrible finish.
The Hell In A Cell match was a bloodbath the likes of Linda McMahon’s final period, and as equally grotesque. The pace was very plodding, and albeit there was a spectacle unfolding before my eyes, I found it hard to get engaged in whatsoever. You’ve got five guys involved, two of whom aren’t wrestlers, and another, who’s a giant sack of shit – need I say more? I found it patently insulting.
Trish’s farewell match wasn’t too bad, but we’ve seen her and Lita have superior matches on multiple occasions. Lita doesn’t have the courage or heart she once possessed, and Trish attempting her headstand headscissors 4 times was 3 times too many. Carlito and Orton are talented guys, but their match amounted to squat. With the exception of Carlito’s shoddy springboard moonsault, the only thing I’ll likely remember about this match is how much better it should have been. The main event was a watered-down homogenized version of the once famed TLC match. The structure of the match was non-existent, with both guys basically moving from one poorly conceived garbage spot to the next, eliciting little more than cheap heat and the occasional gasp of shock and stupidity. Personally, I thought the table spots they so desperately wanted us to like were uninspired, and the match as a main event a failure to put it mildly.
2. Kane v. Umaga - 3
3. Spirit Squad v. Highlanders - 2
4. Degeneration X v. McMahons and Big Show - Hell In A Cell Match- 4
5. Trish Stratus v. Lita - 3
6. Carlito v. Randy Orton - 3
7. John Cena v. Edge – TLC (Tables, Ladders, Chairs) Match - 5
I watched this pay-per-view from the confines of a loud sports bar; granted, I wasn’t able to jot down any significant notes, outside of my waitresses’ phone number, but I did watch the show pretty closely (when I wasn’t distracted by the pinball machine or eating teriyaki wings). Ultimately, it was a passable, if not slightly above outing – although rife with problems as expected.
They gave Nitro and Hardy more time than I’d assumed they would, which wasn’t bad, and with the exception of some sloppiness they built a pretty decent match. The finish, featuring lame interference as Hardy got hit with a shoe, killed any chances it had of being truly recommendable. Kane and Umaga was destined to be ugly, and it was, but strangely enjoyable in a perverse way. Again, the ending, a double countout, definitely hindered any chance of me remotely finding this memorable. Spirit Squad and Highlanders gave us the most insufferable match of the event, not because it was particularly bad, but because nobody put forth an iota of effort. I should also mention that it was the third match in a row that was spoiled by a horrible finish.
The Hell In A Cell match was a bloodbath the likes of Linda McMahon’s final period, and as equally grotesque. The pace was very plodding, and albeit there was a spectacle unfolding before my eyes, I found it hard to get engaged in whatsoever. You’ve got five guys involved, two of whom aren’t wrestlers, and another, who’s a giant sack of shit – need I say more? I found it patently insulting.
Trish’s farewell match wasn’t too bad, but we’ve seen her and Lita have superior matches on multiple occasions. Lita doesn’t have the courage or heart she once possessed, and Trish attempting her headstand headscissors 4 times was 3 times too many. Carlito and Orton are talented guys, but their match amounted to squat. With the exception of Carlito’s shoddy springboard moonsault, the only thing I’ll likely remember about this match is how much better it should have been. The main event was a watered-down homogenized version of the once famed TLC match. The structure of the match was non-existent, with both guys basically moving from one poorly conceived garbage spot to the next, eliciting little more than cheap heat and the occasional gasp of shock and stupidity. Personally, I thought the table spots they so desperately wanted us to like were uninspired, and the match as a main event a failure to put it mildly.
Monday, September 18, 2006
HWA Cyber Clash
1) Ben Kimera & Brian Jennings vs. Ric Byrne – Handicap Match – 1
2) Matt Parks vs. Brian Beech – 2
3) Jesse Hyde vs. Dick Rick vs. Brad Smith – Triple Threat Match – 2
4) Matt Stryker vs. Tack – 4
5) Alan Wasylychn & Aaron Williams vs. Bull Pain & Michael Todd Stratton – 3
6) Foreign Intelligence vs. J.T. Stahr & Eric Darkstorm vs. The GP Code vs. T.J. Dalton & Matt Dillenger – Four Way Elimination Match – 2
7) A.J. Sparx vs. Hellena Heavenly – 1
8) Crazy J vs. Lotus – Ladder Match – 6
9) Nigel McGuinness vs. Chad Collyer – 5
10) Pepper Parks vs. Jimmy Yang – 6
11) Jon Moxley vs. Cody Hawk – Cage Match – 5
This was touted as the biggest night in HWA history as it was their first online PPV. By that acclimation, they fell short but still managed to put on a somewhat entertaining show. The first three matches were from the preshow. They were filled with undercard talent that had no talent at all. The ratings speak for themselves as they were filled with supremely sloppy wrestling and wasted youth. Kicking off the main show was Stryker vs. Tack. They had a perfecty acceptable opening contest and was probably one of Stryker’s better matches of the past few years. The tag match with the veteran Bull Pain was decent with the only highlight being Pain giving one of the rookies a Liger bomb on the floor following the match. The four way match started off good but ran way too long and the two teams left at the end seemed totally gassed and lost. The women’s match was a total joke and they looked more eager to go backstage and jerk off their boyfriends than putting together a decent match.
The ladder match had some nice and intriguing spots but was a disappoinment overall. It is recommended if you’re a fan of the Irish Airborne, as it features the two members fighting each other, but otherwise I’d pass. Everytime I see Nigel in action, it seems like he’s either teaming with Collyer, facing Collyer, or washing Collyer’s car. Now, I’m not saying they had a bad match but it seemed to me like it was a little out of place. It was, however, the best match I’ve seen with these two. Parks and Yang had a satisfying match that was short and sweet. Yang looked a little out of shape but fit in quite well in the surroundings. Moxley and Hawk had a really good match until the finish totally screwed everything up. All the referees got knocked out and Hellena Heavenly interfered for some unknown reason. The match itself was pretty fluid with lots of blood. If you can get someone to copy it for you or find it for cheap in the trading forums, I’d get it, otherwise you didn’t miss much.
HWA Cyberclahs- March 19,2006
1 Buffalo Bad Boy/ Kimera v. Ric Byrne-0
2 Matt Parks v. Ryan Beach-2
3 Jesse Hyde v. Dick Rick v. Brad Smith-1
4 Matt Stryker v. Tack-3
5 Wyashlychn/ Aaron Williams v. Bull Pain/ M. Todd Straton-3
6 Foreign Intelligence v. Dalton & Dillinger v. GP Code v. Stahr/ Darkstorm- 2
7 Helena Heavenly v. AJ Sparx-0
8 Crazy J v Lotus(Ladder)-5
9 Chad Collyer v. Nigel McGuiness- 6
10 Jimmy Yang v. Pepper Parks-4
11 Cody Hawk v. Jon Moxley(Steel Cage)-4
I'm feeling particularly mean writing this one. First, the staff. Our two announcers, one who looks like a Joey Styles rip off who hasn't hit puberty yet, and the other feigns alcoholism, as if it is something cool and fun, but who probably does the majority of his drinking alone, in his room, with one hand on his flaccid penis and the other on the remote, rewinding the scene in Teen Wolf where a guy flashes during the big game in the back of the stands. Then, the ring announcer. I've never seen a better candidate for suicide than this fat oaf. He was wearing a bright white ring jacket that was supposed to make him look trendy, something he never quite got in high school when he was wearing Monty Python T-shirts and making Star Wars fight scene compilation tapes. By the way, I was shocked when I saw the ring announcer because he brought my fish sandwich out to my car at that waiting point in front of the drive through at McDonalds. Now, the "wrestling."
The opening match made me want to swallow Draino. Ric Byrne is the ugliest, droopiest, oldest, most unathletic sad sack of fairy crap I've personally ever witnessed, but I knew the show had just started. He was called a veteran at one point. That's like calling Jesus a philanderer. It's like calling Tom Cruise normal. The second match I actually don't even recall and I watched it less than a week ago. That's bad. Jesse Hyde, you've really done something with your life. I'm sorry you can' even get a fast food job with that putrid hair, but I'm sure there's an available homeless person needing a bath at your local shelter. Stryker and Tack had a shitfest of a match, interspersed with a few good moves. Bull Pain looked particularly nasty, albeit not selling a single shot, he did put the hurt on their "To be a star" contest winner. He could sue for that fucking absurdity because he's not making it out of the Midwest working for that hick promotion. The four way tag was way too long, bordering on over thirty minutes and not a damn memorable thing happened, except the teams receiving blowjobs from Patrick Black on the way through the curtain as they were eliminated. The women's' match( using both of those words loosely) was an abomination of an athletic contest. Helena was growing some kind of live mold on her hips that had become cottage cheese and AJ looked like a mustard stain in her ring gear. That's easier to get out of your clothes than the cum stains left on her back by Matt Dillinger earlier. He calls it art; I call it desperation.
Now, the "main events." The ladder match was over thought, actually it wasn't given the right amount of thought. There were some painful spots, and they did do their same opening technical routine they always do, but I liked seeing the ladder draped over the ropes and then the leg drop onto it. The ending was thoroughly ruined, and I cringed watching it. Two young men, such promising careers... at Denny's. (That was for you Adam!) Collyer and McGuiness, two men very familiar with each other, seeing as how they wrestle at every fucking show around this area, decided to throw some good psych into their match and serve up an actual treat as opposed to their usual fish-sauerkraut and sour lemon soufflé of stink-saddled wrestling. Yang and Parks worked a decent match, but not worthy of a World Title match. Yang looked pretty bored. And the main event cage was heading towards promise, and that really pains me to say considering Cody Hawk's presence. But, they used the cage, they bled, the teased the end, and the end actually came and it was worse than I thought. So much convoluted run in BS hurt the match rating. Overall, as HWA's first online PPV, I would suggest putting more thought into the next one as opposed to just naming how many relatives you've all had sexual relations with, then looking around the room and realizing that they are all standing in front of you.
2 Matt Parks v. Ryan Beach-2
3 Jesse Hyde v. Dick Rick v. Brad Smith-1
4 Matt Stryker v. Tack-3
5 Wyashlychn/ Aaron Williams v. Bull Pain/ M. Todd Straton-3
6 Foreign Intelligence v. Dalton & Dillinger v. GP Code v. Stahr/ Darkstorm- 2
7 Helena Heavenly v. AJ Sparx-0
8 Crazy J v Lotus(Ladder)-5
9 Chad Collyer v. Nigel McGuiness- 6
10 Jimmy Yang v. Pepper Parks-4
11 Cody Hawk v. Jon Moxley(Steel Cage)-4
I'm feeling particularly mean writing this one. First, the staff. Our two announcers, one who looks like a Joey Styles rip off who hasn't hit puberty yet, and the other feigns alcoholism, as if it is something cool and fun, but who probably does the majority of his drinking alone, in his room, with one hand on his flaccid penis and the other on the remote, rewinding the scene in Teen Wolf where a guy flashes during the big game in the back of the stands. Then, the ring announcer. I've never seen a better candidate for suicide than this fat oaf. He was wearing a bright white ring jacket that was supposed to make him look trendy, something he never quite got in high school when he was wearing Monty Python T-shirts and making Star Wars fight scene compilation tapes. By the way, I was shocked when I saw the ring announcer because he brought my fish sandwich out to my car at that waiting point in front of the drive through at McDonalds. Now, the "wrestling."
The opening match made me want to swallow Draino. Ric Byrne is the ugliest, droopiest, oldest, most unathletic sad sack of fairy crap I've personally ever witnessed, but I knew the show had just started. He was called a veteran at one point. That's like calling Jesus a philanderer. It's like calling Tom Cruise normal. The second match I actually don't even recall and I watched it less than a week ago. That's bad. Jesse Hyde, you've really done something with your life. I'm sorry you can' even get a fast food job with that putrid hair, but I'm sure there's an available homeless person needing a bath at your local shelter. Stryker and Tack had a shitfest of a match, interspersed with a few good moves. Bull Pain looked particularly nasty, albeit not selling a single shot, he did put the hurt on their "To be a star" contest winner. He could sue for that fucking absurdity because he's not making it out of the Midwest working for that hick promotion. The four way tag was way too long, bordering on over thirty minutes and not a damn memorable thing happened, except the teams receiving blowjobs from Patrick Black on the way through the curtain as they were eliminated. The women's' match( using both of those words loosely) was an abomination of an athletic contest. Helena was growing some kind of live mold on her hips that had become cottage cheese and AJ looked like a mustard stain in her ring gear. That's easier to get out of your clothes than the cum stains left on her back by Matt Dillinger earlier. He calls it art; I call it desperation.
Now, the "main events." The ladder match was over thought, actually it wasn't given the right amount of thought. There were some painful spots, and they did do their same opening technical routine they always do, but I liked seeing the ladder draped over the ropes and then the leg drop onto it. The ending was thoroughly ruined, and I cringed watching it. Two young men, such promising careers... at Denny's. (That was for you Adam!) Collyer and McGuiness, two men very familiar with each other, seeing as how they wrestle at every fucking show around this area, decided to throw some good psych into their match and serve up an actual treat as opposed to their usual fish-sauerkraut and sour lemon soufflé of stink-saddled wrestling. Yang and Parks worked a decent match, but not worthy of a World Title match. Yang looked pretty bored. And the main event cage was heading towards promise, and that really pains me to say considering Cody Hawk's presence. But, they used the cage, they bled, the teased the end, and the end actually came and it was worse than I thought. So much convoluted run in BS hurt the match rating. Overall, as HWA's first online PPV, I would suggest putting more thought into the next one as opposed to just naming how many relatives you've all had sexual relations with, then looking around the room and realizing that they are all standing in front of you.
Bret “Hit Man” Hart DVD – Disc #1
1. Hart Foundation vs. British Bulldogs – 7/13/85 – 4
2. Hart Foundation vs. Killer Bees – 2/17/86 – 7
The match with the Bulldogs is very monotonously paced, and far from either teams best efforts. There are a couple highlights, though; ranging from Bret’s typically high impact sternum-first bump into the buckles, and a Dynamite Kid missile dropkick. The majority of the match focuses on the Foundation keeping Davey Boy from tagging out, which is general tag team psychology, and done for the most part admirably. It runs nearly fifteen minutes, but not a lot happens. The finish is very bizarre, as a “curfew” hits leading to the bell ringing instantaneously, and hundreds of fans hurriedly getting out of their seats and rushing to their nearest exit.
The second match is actually really great in some ways. It starts off similarly to the first one, and the Foundation has the role of being absolute cheating pricks down perfectly. The match has much better energy, however; plus, the Bees’ aren’t lazy in the selling department, either. The biggest hindrance is the referee, who does such an obviously bad job, that even the announcers are forced to question his scruples. I liked this a lot, even though Bret totally slipped off the second buckle in-route to doing a flying elbow, looking totally amateurish and much more akin to Bruce Hart. I need also give credit to “Jumpin’” Jim for taking a horrific bodyslam on the floor. The finish was odd here, too; as apparently the time limit expired. I could have sworn they announced a thirty-minute limit beforehand, but after approximately twenty minutes the bell rang, declaring the bout a draw and leaving the crowd audibly displeased.
2. Hart Foundation vs. Killer Bees – 2/17/86 – 7
The match with the Bulldogs is very monotonously paced, and far from either teams best efforts. There are a couple highlights, though; ranging from Bret’s typically high impact sternum-first bump into the buckles, and a Dynamite Kid missile dropkick. The majority of the match focuses on the Foundation keeping Davey Boy from tagging out, which is general tag team psychology, and done for the most part admirably. It runs nearly fifteen minutes, but not a lot happens. The finish is very bizarre, as a “curfew” hits leading to the bell ringing instantaneously, and hundreds of fans hurriedly getting out of their seats and rushing to their nearest exit.
The second match is actually really great in some ways. It starts off similarly to the first one, and the Foundation has the role of being absolute cheating pricks down perfectly. The match has much better energy, however; plus, the Bees’ aren’t lazy in the selling department, either. The biggest hindrance is the referee, who does such an obviously bad job, that even the announcers are forced to question his scruples. I liked this a lot, even though Bret totally slipped off the second buckle in-route to doing a flying elbow, looking totally amateurish and much more akin to Bruce Hart. I need also give credit to “Jumpin’” Jim for taking a horrific bodyslam on the floor. The finish was odd here, too; as apparently the time limit expired. I could have sworn they announced a thirty-minute limit beforehand, but after approximately twenty minutes the bell rang, declaring the bout a draw and leaving the crowd audibly displeased.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Pro Wrestling NOAH Spring Navigation 2006
1) Takuma Sano & Akira Taue vs. Eddie Edwards & Scorpio – 4 – This was a brief three minute encounter which was full of stiffness and energy. Scorpio looked to have taken Edwards under his wing and they looked like they worked pretty well together. On the opposite end, Taue hit some nice chokeslams and showed that he can still work despite his age.
2) Kenta Kobashi vs. Naomichi Marufuji – 7 – This was a match that looked like a solid nine on paper. Although a bit underwelming, this was a solid contest nonetheless. Kobashi worked very stiff and Marufuji hit a sick dropkick that left everyone who was watching this in disbelief! This was a very acceptable match and recommended viewing if you’re a fan of Kobashi’s work.
3) Taiji Ishimora vs. KENTA – 8 – The hell with American cruiserweights! This is how a junior heavyweight match should be! Aside from the fact that Ishimora looked like a Japanese rock star, he flew around the ring with flips and dives that were incredible. KENTA (and yes, it’s supposed to be all caps) worked his traditional style which included stiff kicks, high flying of the highest magnitude, and his trademark “Go To Sleep” maneuver. Seek this match out now, you will not be disappointed.
4) Jun Akiyama vs. Masao Inoue – 5 – Not quite as spectacular as the other uncut matches, but still it was a worthwhile encounter. It seemed like they just didn’t gel together quite well. I would only recommend this match if you’re a fan of either man, otherwise pass it up.
There were quite a few other matches presented on this DVD which were so clipped up, it was impossible to rate them. From what was shown, they looked like formidable encounters but the clip jobs rendered them totally unwatchable. In case you’re wondering, here are the matches from the DVD that were edited:
- Akihito Ito & Misuo Momota vs. Ricky Marvin & Yoshinora Ota
- Atsushi Aoki, Kentaro Shiga, & Junji Izumida vs. Shuhei Taniguchi, Takashi Sugiura, & Yoshinobu Kanemaru
- Tsuyoshi Kikuchi & Tamon Honda vs. Kishin Kawabata & Akitoshi Saito
- Takeshi Morishima, Muhammad Yone, & Takeshi Rikioh vs. Keith Walker, Nigel McGuinness, & Doug Williams
- Yoshinari Ogawa & Mitsuharu Misawa vs. Minoru Suzuki & Suwa
In the future, I think it would be a good idea to leave everything unedited for these DVDs. I would’ve like to have seen the McGuinness match in full but no dice I guess. I would recommend this DVD as a good introduction to Japanese wrestling and NOAH in particular but not for the avid collector like myself.
NOAH: Spring Navigation 06
Note: There were several matches on the show that were clipped, which would be unfair to rate since I didn't see the full matches.
1 Takuma Sano/ Akira Taue v. Eddie Edwards/ 2 Cold Scorpio-4- Taue is still fun to watch because he likes to get beat up and likes to beat on young guys. 2 Cold has looked fabulous in all of his NOAH outings and did not disappoint here. His partner looks like a rookie he has taken under his wing who has promise.
2 Kenta Kobashi v. Noamichi Marufuji-9- This was an awesome match! It was thirty plus and featured two different styles duking it out. It featured some great working over of the arm and some stiffness from both men. Marufuji has a great career if he can keep up with the hard hitters in the heavy division.
3 KENTA v. Taiji Ishimori- 8- Ishimori looked like a manga loving teen geek at first look but proved he can bust mouths as well as his opponent. KENTA is more dangerous than Steven Segal forty years ago and definitely has better kicks and potentially a better ponytail. Another long match that had tons of hot spots and devilish strikes.
4 Jun Akiyama v. Masao Inoue- 5- Inoue is a pudgy worker that I don't think is main event. Akiyama seemed really sub par against him and may need a great opponent to excel. That scares me.
1 Takuma Sano/ Akira Taue v. Eddie Edwards/ 2 Cold Scorpio-4- Taue is still fun to watch because he likes to get beat up and likes to beat on young guys. 2 Cold has looked fabulous in all of his NOAH outings and did not disappoint here. His partner looks like a rookie he has taken under his wing who has promise.
2 Kenta Kobashi v. Noamichi Marufuji-9- This was an awesome match! It was thirty plus and featured two different styles duking it out. It featured some great working over of the arm and some stiffness from both men. Marufuji has a great career if he can keep up with the hard hitters in the heavy division.
3 KENTA v. Taiji Ishimori- 8- Ishimori looked like a manga loving teen geek at first look but proved he can bust mouths as well as his opponent. KENTA is more dangerous than Steven Segal forty years ago and definitely has better kicks and potentially a better ponytail. Another long match that had tons of hot spots and devilish strikes.
4 Jun Akiyama v. Masao Inoue- 5- Inoue is a pudgy worker that I don't think is main event. Akiyama seemed really sub par against him and may need a great opponent to excel. That scares me.
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