Thursday, January 19, 2012

Mickie Knuckles: A Redneck Woman Part 2

I'm back and still dissecting Mickie's best, had a lot of fun with part 1 let's see what other sick surprise she has in store for us

1) v. Ann -Thraxx - 3
You have to love watching matches like this where they're filmed so up close, it puts you in the ring. These women are completely aware too because they are laying in everything. Ann using a sloppy pendulum hold in a really ugly spot. Flying shining kick gets Mickie the win and looked like a overweight spot from "Kickboxer", remember that flick from the 80's? Does anyone out there from the 80's blog?

2) v. Rain- 2
Every Mickie match seems to start the same, like every Star Wars movie with a text scroll, this is a mundane crowd brawl where the crowd isn't even following the women; strange since one is sort of scantily clad and they always follow the guys. Nothing much in the ring, out of the ring horrible announcing. The shining Kick could use some buffing.

3) v. Rain (Falls Count Anywhere Match)- 4
This match didn't have much executed well but it was a fun watch. You get the sense early on ( because Rayne is such a bad actress) she wasn't in any pain at all. They brawled outside onto a trailer and both took some ugly falls. Punk was on commentary and proves to be just as entertaining as he was in the "E". He even interferes for fun spanking Rayne with a belt. There's no one in the crowd; kind of like how they never went back to the ring.

4) v. Portia Perez- 1
Portia is totally a minor here. The announcers don't buy it and the crowd isn't buying Perez's meager arm work keeping Mickie down for this 3 minute stretch.

5) v. Daizee Haze- 4
I've never been a Daizee fan, like at all. Not even a little. Here she shows off some fun transitions with the playful glee of some Rolad Dohl dialogue. Mickie not only competes but one ups her as the match progresses. They hit some brutal strikes too, just to give the match a wholesome feel and I dug it for the 8 minutes they were allowed to work.

6) v. Hailey- 3
I'm a guy. I like boobs. They're great, I like them just as much as any other guy. But these announcers literally sound like 14 year old boys calling this, not calling moves but how Hailey's wrinkled melons fit in her shirt. There's some mark out moves here too, a sloppy suplex into the crowd, an Exploder stiffer than anything Akiyama's broke down body has been able to deliver in years but you would think this is a poorly written Cinemax late night movie they way it's being announced.

7) v. Ian Rotten- 4
Ian Rotten is the ugliest thing God ever created. This is a death match and I find it funny how the IWA faithful and wrestlers came to Mickie's defense when she was brutalized by that schmuck but dear god blasting her in the face repeatedly with a water bottle bat is a little far. I don't know what kid Ian gave $5 and some Combos to create some of these machinations but they have issues. Giant light tube creations just bursting all over the ring there's def. some drama here, and the announcers are actually putting this over big which helps when you're watching at home.

8) v. Rachel Putski (Taipei Death Match) - 3
I guess Rach here is Scotty's daughter, there's not really much you can do with the Taipei rules not in Hollywood, but they did it here. The match took place around ringside, and they bludgeoned each other.

9) v. Mercedes Martinez- 5
This was a title match that actually felt appropriate. Mickie will actually impress you with her scientific skills, not that she's great but that she's willing to use it. Mercedez is right there with her too as they spend about 6 minutes going through drills. Someone makes a comment about her grappling with Hero and Ian for hours. The finish really came off flat though after all the build they were doing.

10) v. Daffney- 4
Daffney was in some hideous green one piece with fluff balls hanging off of it; she looked like something you'd find in a roadside market off the highway in Arizona. Liked how they were pushing Mickie's forearm as a match ender; sort of silly how she purposely avoided it the whole match. Liked a Northern Lights suplex Daffney pulled off but with the good came the bad and in bad, I mean a Booby Biel toss. Yeah it's just as stupid as you can imagine.

11) v. Tank- 4
12) v. Chuck Taylor- 2
13) v. Roxie Cotton- 2

The last 3 bouts should be watched (if you're going to, i'm not recommending them) together as when you watch them back to back you have Mickie fighting a near 400 pound hardcore freak, an affeminete goofball and a scream queen with glass taped to her hands. the reason to watch them back to back is almost like a social experiement as she beats Tank and stands toe to toe with him, in all aspects incl. the much overused Necro chair sitting spot. So why does she have any trouble at all with whiny Taylor (with a terrible ending involving pock marked BJ Whitmer) and Roxie (who looks like they've dumped chocolate on their faces).

Mickie is a fun performer to watch as if she has one great quality it's that she seems to really try and make something great out of her performances. Too bad Ian's bankrupt again.

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