Tuesday, August 16, 2011

WWE Smackdown 09/12/02

So recently I unearthed a box of forgotten VHS tapes at my dads house and thought I'd pull one out for a review

1) Brock Lesnar v. Hardcore Holly- 4
Fuck Lesnar's such a specimen. This feels more like a military grade Tank fighting a Dodge Neon. Lesnar's pure physicality is unmatched; Holly takes an overhead release suplex on the ground and instantly becomes angrier for life. OHHHHHHH- sick powerbomb right on Holly's neck and Brock just sneers. Heyman is lying on the WWE title belt smiling like he's a high school chick in the bleachers pining away for the quarterback. Great sequence to end and I''m hooked.

2) Los Guerreros v. Edge/ John Cena- 5

Edge gets jumped early and Cena's being fended off outside the ring like his girlfriend's dog snatched his condom before intercourse. Eddie's just drippin with charisma; seeing Heyman, Lesnar and now him this time peroid was filled with some awesome characters. Cena with a monster face comeback; can see potential already. Chavo just bumps around like a stuffed scarecrow. Eddie orchestrates this hot finishing sequence where Edge bumps manly and Eddie has the crowd in the palm of his hand.

3) Kurt Angle v. Rey Mysterio- 7
You just don't see dudes going this all out on TV anymore; and this was even a lower rated station! If only Sin Cara had someone like Kurt to help get him over he'd probably be World Champion by now. How is Rey doing this shit with bad knees? Landing on the top rope standing up then moonsaulting and not even looking back is part trapeze artist and part guy with large testicles. Fuck, what a spectacular finish before it wasn't as played out as people talking like Snoop Dogg. Please tell me, wrestling reading viewership you'll find this and watch it.

4) Chris Benoit v. Rikishi- 3

This is like letting an ox and a rhinocerous run head first into each other. Physical from the get go- another shred of evidence Benoit was a maniac- he lifts Rikishi up on his shoulders and drops him back. Angle comes down wearing a goofy grin and after Benoit eats some 'Kish asshole this has no finish.

After that the Billy & Chuck wedding fiasco begins, which is super long and utterly ridiculous. Bischoff in that terrible makeup and Billy's hand gestures make this even more of a farce.

5) Torrie Wilson v. Nidia- 2
Nidia's physical, serves out a couple stiff boots here. Torrie fires back, with as much vigor as she attacks daiquri's and men with self esteem problems. A spinning neckbreaker fin may not do it for some but I liked it.

6) Matt Hardy v. Underaker- 3
This was arguably the high point of Matt's career; the V1 stuff, feuding with aker for a bit. This was moving along smoothly but was abruptly ended with angle; a real envelope pushing one as Paul Heyman corners Taker's pregnant wife in the locker room but her beau makes the save only for Brock to blast him with a chair; hand protected shot of course. Brock palms her stomach like Shaq used to palm a b-ball and tells her "Life's a bitch." Then pump faks at her. This is so Heyman penning this stuff. Awesome ending.

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