Thursday, March 8, 2007

WWF MSG Show- 02/23/92

1 Berzerker v. Jim Brunzell- 3

Hardcore Holly does not have a great dropkick; he has a decent one for being over 45 and suffering several career threatening injuries( when will he get the point?). Now, if you start a campaign for Jim Brunzell for having the best dropkick...i'm sure you'll find a few old die hard fans that will agree, but not I: my vote is probably either Pillman or Kidman, leaning towards the guy who wrestled a plastic pencil and it was more entertaining than anything in the new ECW.

2 The Nasty Boys v. Bushwhackers- 1

SOMEONE PLEASE WAKE ME UP FROM THIS SLEEPING ZOMBIE ANT FEELER MODE! (or whatever that thing was from "Waking Life") I know there were some insightful points in that movie, but I just didn't pick them up and I wasn't a fan of the animation- Brian, I know this disappoints, but I love the 5th Element and you don't', so I guess our mostly similar movie tastes branched off somewhere in between those two films( I wonder what years they came out?) The Bushwhackers had a far too long shelf life and God, I hate their sells. They are worse than old West stunt doubles.

3 Chris Walker v. Warlord- 2

If anyone tries to tell me that Chris Walker did not venture into the world of early 90's soft core porn/ romance novel cover model, I will slap you across the face with the remains of his shredded 80's jungle hair. He has a swank ass cross body from the top rope- he showed a lot of gumption with it, but Warlord------let's just say this website has less material without him currently competing.
4 Hercules v. Sid- 0 Herc no sold every move in this match, the three punches, the boot, and the finishing powerbomb! I wish every wrestling fan in the world could see this because it was so fucking poor, he should have came into the match wearing shopping bag socks and pleading for $5 to give to his estranged daughter, who just happens to be a 5th of gin at the local corner market.

5 Repo Man v. Roddy Piper- 1

Let me say two things pertaining to the 2nd person in this title line: 1) I wish him the greatest luck in beating cancer 2) His stalling 2 finger eye poke remains one of my most marked out spots in my life!

6 British Bulldog v. Undertaker- 2

Have you seen the scores of these matches? Well, go ahead and look back if you haven't. I'll wait. Okay, now, do you get the sense that these guys aren't really trying? Congrats! You win the prize to read the rest of this review.( by the way, if you are a fan of British Bulldog, you need to read "Pure Dynamite" by Tom Billington, the Dyamite Kid. He crushes all your hopeless mark dreams of thinking he was the shit, because Kid could always outwork him and reveals all his truly prickish, heelish backstagish behavior.)

7 Rick Martel v. Big Bossman- 3

I thought this match had potential, but it wasn't given any decent time. The combination of Bossman's white knuckle street justice punches and Martel's real life looking mouth grabbing sell send me into a frenzy and I keep watching this shittiful excuse for an MSG show.

8 20 Man Battle Royal- which included B*rz*rk*r, Br*t*sh B*lld*g, R*ck M*rt*l, H*rc*l*s, Th* B*shwh*ck*rs, Sk*nn*r, R*p* M*n, W*rl*rd, Chr*s W*lk*r, K*t*, J*m Br*nz*ll, R*dd* P*p*r, Th* N*st* B*ys, *nd*rt*k*r, B*g B*ssm*n, S*d, R*c Fl**r, H*lk H*g*n- 3

All you need to know is that this match was downright plodding (like the plot of a Kevin Costner movie), boring (like any Politican's autobiography), asshole ugly (like Barbara Streisand and her concerts), and Flair went out during the middle while being World Champ- that kind of idiocy can only be reciprocated by me for taking the time to eliminate all the vowels from the wrestlers names.

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