ECW Fancam - Allentown, PA 9/27/96

Match #1: Taz vs. Jimmy Cicero
Score: 2
Thoughts: You can see why they stuck Alfonso with Taz as his generally annoying presence (that damned whistle) helped give Taz some heat whereas without him fans may have rallied behind the relatively silent bad-ass in a sort of antihero way.  To his credit Taz did try to egg on the live crowd a few times during the short duration of this, doing stuff like mocking Sabu's pose and challenging people in the the audience.  A few of Taz's stomps looked like shit.  Overall, though, Taz looked in the best physical shape of his career, had great flexibility on his throws, and came off like a fairly major deal.  Cicero gets no offense in and was choked out in a couple minutes.

Match #2: Mikey Whipwreck vs. J.T. Smith
Score: 3
Thoughts: Smith wore a Goodfellas t-shirt and had a whole entourage of losers with him.  Mikey looked like a guy that got lost on his way to the comic book shop.  J.T. does a good job early exhibiting frustration that it isn't easier putting away the fat kid from Stand By Me.  Very ugly spot where J.T. tried a baseball slide kick to Mikey on the floor where Whipwreck was supposed to dodge it and Smith lackey Devon Storm would eat it instead but Smith got tied up in the ropes and looked like a doofus.  Wait, was this when Smith was still purposefully blowing spots?  I don't remember.  Props to Mikey for trying a slingshot hurricanrana from the ring out onto Smith on the floor.  Lots of spots with Smith cronies that were cumbersome.  Mikey garners a few big crowd reactions.  Awesome finish with a super huricanrana from the top that saw Smith get spiked head-first into the mat like a lawn dart.

3. Buh Buh Ray Dudley and Spike Dudley vs. The Erotic Experience

Score: 3

Thoughts: Dudley's are over huge with the crowd.  Buh Buh mixes in some homophobic hate speech during his pre-match promo -- must be a Romney supporter.  One-half of EE is Chris Chetti, unsure of the other guy, although is face is as bloated as the one on the corpse of Satchmo.  No real match layout to dissect but nothing too extraneous or bad to speak of.  I do dig Ray's vocality including screaming "Shit!" after having his pin cover broken by a half-assed forearm shot.  Post-match nonsensical melee with D-Von Dudley and Axl Rotten joining together with Erotic Experience to pummel Buh Buh until he took them all out with a dangerous looking dive that wiped them out; seeing Axl clutching his knee worriedly brought a smile to my face.

4. Kronus vs. Terry Gordy

Score: 3

Thoughts: Kronus looked like someone stuck an air hose up his ass and inflated him.  Gordy looks like he's knocking on death's door, tripping up over his own feet during a tepid brawl on the floor, leaning against the ropes to keep himself standing, etc.  Terry's powerbomb looked like he was folding laundry.  I wonder if his boy Slam Master J ever screened this.  Gordy won in short order with the Asiatic Spike thumb chokehold which Kronus sold like he was asphyxiating on his own vomit (which he pulled off convincingly given his experience with that very thing).

5. Tommy Dreamer vs. Brian Lee

Score: 6

Thoughts: Beulah was a nice change visually after all the flabby fucks on display so far.  This actually started off molten hot with Lee tossing Dreamer all over the place and Tommy bumping with gusto.  Lee slams a metal barrel over TD's back which I swear he stole from Double Dragon.  Lee looks like the dual bodyguard/guitar tech for Wyckyd Sceptre.  Parking lot brawl sees Dreamer take a nasty suplex onto the asphalt.  Now whenever I see a match leave the building I can't help but be disappointed as nothing tops that CZW show where Moxley left all that DNA on a picnic table.  I was all set to make Brian Lee jokes but he's came off here better than any Shawn Michaels performance in '96 so I'm sort of letdown all my material's going to waste.  At first I kind of thought the finish was shit (Dreamer gets his ass beaten all over Allentown then when it finally gets back to the ring he scores a quick DDT for the victory) but it puts over his finisher strongly and got across he had to resort to it to survive the onslaught.  Good stuff.

6. Handicap Match: New Jack vs. Stevie Richards and The Blue Meanie

Score: 2

Thoughts: If you haven't watched New Jack's 2012 RF Video shoot interview yet then stop reading this and go buy it -- maybe my favorite shoot ever.  NJ is wearing a Naughty By Nature shirt.  I'm sure it's balled up somewhere on Terri Runnels' floor today.  Jack dishes out a beating early that looks like surveillance camera footage of a violent mugging.  Did you know Meanie has a moderately decorous reverse DDT?  And then the finish?  Even Sasha Grey would have a hard time swallowing that.

7. Pitbull 2 vs. Shane Douglas

Score: 2

Thoughts: Fast-forwarded over an assuredly vitriolic Douglas promo.  Francine gets tossed around in a tiny skirt and G-string so we get plenty of shots of her pisser.  We also get some shots of Pitbull I in headgear if that's more your thing as I wouldn't judge.  Odd that for a guy that supposedly hates Ric Flair so much you can see Douglas aped a bunch of his shtick off Flair.  Weird moment outside the ring where they awkwardly (Scott Hall would call it a "stumble bumble" and only ardent TNA viewers will catch that one) played tug of war with a chair like they were fighting over a taco at Jack in the Box.  Just a horse shit finish.

8. Perry Saturn vs. Sabu

Score: 4

Thoughts: Sabu exuded an aura of mystery while Saturn approximated a homeless guy found in a Big Lots dumpster.  Sabu almost breaks his neck flipping over the ropes onto Perry on the floor then Saturn inexplicably cuddles Sabu and blatantly speaks to him like a father telling his son from the losing baseball team "Good job, pal."  Saturn screwed up the table bridge Sabu built by slipping slightly off the apron and putting his foot down cracking the table to which some belligerent fan in the crowd yelled "You fucked it up fat ass!"  Amen.  If Sabu was the Peppermint Patty of ECW that'd make Saturn the Franklin.  As Marcy would say, "Nice botch, sir!"

No wonder Saturn started talking to a mop than went off the grid to recreate the druggy haze of Gaspar Noé's Enter the Void but traded Japan for some retched Minnesotan lake town.  "I'd like to rent a canoe for the day" they'd ask.  "Well, sorry, we're all out of rentals, but I've got a bloated, unshaven Perry Saturn out by the dock that smells of menthols and SpaghettiOs".  "No thanks!  I'll just take the ginger ale and beef jerky and be back on my way on the road."  "Well, I don't want you to leave empty-handed, how about some celebrity up-skirt shots, 3 for $5!  I've got this real fine one of Natalie Portman riding up the escalator at the Maplewood Mall."

How'd Sabu's flying DDT off the top look?  I'll give you three guesses and it rhymes with "bit".  We finally get a garbage spot worth rewinding when Sabu hits a tornado (more like a mild breeze) DDT off the apron onto another bridged table.  I will say Saturn's flying elbow easily kills CM Punk's and just about everyone else's from the past twenty years. 

9. Steel Cage Match: Raven vs. The Sandman

Score: 3

Thoughts: Sandman looks like my junior high school janitor minus the tattoo of Rambo (or was that a dream?) and only possesses a modicum more of wrestling talent.  Raven crafts about as much story here as those flimsy Spider-Man comics he wrote on codeine.  I ordered this show to see a rare ECW cage match only to find them brawling out through the crowd like a typical ECW match.  Some fascist tries to hand Raven his shitty band's demo mid-match.  That's as likely to work as impressing a girl because your Panda Express card only needs to be punched once more for a free entree.  Meanie, Richards, and Nova are all in the ring further filling this toilet bowl with turds.  Someone bring me a plunger and quick.  Maybe we'll finally answer the question: "How many junkies does it take to beat a drunk?"  Sandman's wife somehow ends up handcuffed to the cage and he rips open her blouse revealing her pasty fake jugs.  It gets classier though as Sandman's little boy gets in the ring inches away from mommy's fun bags and watches daddy get a concussion while a blood-soaked Raven clings onto his adolescent frame.  ECW diehards need to re-watch some of the back catalogue because this is the wrestling equivalent of diarrhea spraying out of your dick.

Jessie's Last Stand

(Hey readers/fans!  Blog co-founder and longtime bud Jessie is taking an indefinite hiatus from our blog.  He's had a few drafts that have remained untouched for awhile but I think even in incomplete form they make for good reads so I wanted to share what he was working on toward the end of his run here on NHO.  We wish you the best in your future endeavors.)

NJPW G1 Climax 2010

Okay, my hiatus is over, hopefully.  I hadn't found much worthy to write about lately but after receiving a few G1 discs from a few years ago it was like getting facebook requested by an old friend.  I don't know dates or tournament signifigance so bear with me and just read

1) Satoshi Kojima v. Yujiro - This match felt like it peaked about 6 minutes in with Yujiro hitting all his cherry shit and taking a weak ass Koji Cutter.  Where could they go from here?  Probably to a highlights appointment as both men had some blonde sheen but that's besides the point.  Match ended a couple mins too late, jury adjourned  (3)

2) Togi Makabe v. Toru Yano - Former partners match, seems like almost every time that angles been played it's never lived up to hype i.e. Rock & Roll express feud from '91; didn't exactly light the world on fire.  Yano's attempt at a stun gun on the top rope looked like an infant trying to lift a bag of concrete.  Both guys came into this cockstrong, like Earthworm Jim but faltering.  You know how all great heat spots from the 80's have died a bloody death in wrestling: RIP the exposed turnbuckle as a instant knock out, we have it here and it's brutal to watch.  They start picking it up with a couple good near falls, a clothesline into a chair that SUCKED HARD, but a nice surprise finish makes me smile; but damn it i'm still mad at them for killing the open turnbuckle.  Jerks   (3)

WWE Best of Raw/ Smackdown 2011

Weekly TV has become less and less of a priority for me over the last couple years, now to the point where we don't even have cable; so when i saw this set released on streaming Netflix, I decided what a great tool for me to catch up on the most pimped stuff; matches will get ratings and other segmens a thumbs up or down

Disc 1

1) The Miz v. John Morrison  WWE Title Match Falls Count Anywhere (Raw, Jan 3)- 4

This had all the tropes of a back and forth title match but manufactured pre-written match segments don't fly with me when we've seen Hart-Hart, Savage-Dibiase, all those old classic title matches where guys can produce a long story full of nuance.  They are pimping Johnny Boy's Ladder match against Sheamus at the Dec ppv; and it was a hell of a fight.  This was not that.  His leap off the "W" even though he didn't fall drunkenly, didn't have the same impact as when Sabu lost his balance off the "R" in 97.  Riley is a nuisance better left un talked about and gets taken out in a sort of Jeff Hardy mock way.  Morrison can have good matches but he just doesn't come off as being a champion.  Miz at least somewhat carries himself in that manner and is giving off all the facials and emotions you'd want in that situation.  Decent table spot though leading to the end, everything else just felt like empty stage movements leading towards the finish.

2) Dolph Ziggler v. Kofi Kingston  WWE IC Title Match (Smackdown, Jan 7)- 5

I wasn't a fan at all of their long never ending series from 2010, but i enjoyed this one.  They pulled off a number of spots where just a wrong move one way or the other and this would have been a complete disaster.  Dolph really was showing his watchres here and seemed to be potentially greater than Kofi by a long shot at this juncture.  The whole sleeper thing seemed far fetched, with STriker mentioning Dolph has won numerous matches with it.  I liked all the Steamboat flourishes too, the chops and the crossbody which looked even cooler in slow mo.

3) Rey Mysterio v. Alberto Del Rio  2/3 Falls Match  (Smackdown, Jan 7)- 6

   1st Fall was quicker than Santino rubbing one out on his "Cobra" but was a nice setup for the rest of the match.  Alberto's style of mixing Lucha libre and MMA is so freaking refreshing, he keeps it simple and it always seems to work.  Loved the nod to Negro Casas with Rey catching the 2nd fall with a magistral.  3rd fall went long and the pace was slow but measured well and everything had meaning, with a perfectly designed finish to keep both men strong.  Good stuff

4) Natalya v. Melina    Divas Championship (Raw Jan 24) - 3

  Melina gave Nattie sex eyes when the match started; or was it for the buff ref?  Melina put on a crazy looking crab submission that i'm sure she's tried a variation with Morrison in the bedroom but Nattie completely ignoring it kind of delfated that whole scenario.  Some awkward strikes from Nattie but the finish was smart.

5) Daniel Bryan v. The Miz    (Raw Feb 14)- 6

  God, hearing Alex Riley spouting out "Must See Champion" rhetoric while Cole tries to put over Miz as a combo of HHH, Michaels and The Crusher is all AIDS for my ears.  Miz still can't punch or bump over the top rope?  That's not must see, that's must forget.  Bryan's knee off the apron is pretty damn sweet, like Tollhouse Soft Batch cookies.  Funny if people that put this DVD together notice how much air time Riley's getting and how forgotten he is now.  Miz must have been watching some of those old jimmy Rave ROH matches taking all these nasty  bumps for Bryan.  You can see him leading this match from each and every cue because Miz doesn't have matches like this.  Miz's finisher looks as strong as Tom Cruise's last plastic surgery.

WWF Monday Night Raw 1993 Main Events

hey NHO fans, a while back me and Adam seperately reviewed AWA 1989 and Saturday Night 2000 main events as a pre cursor to this project. Basically this will be a massive co review where we go back and relive the full Raw 93 season and give our thoughts on the last feature match of each ep. hope you enjoy, sure we will.

01/11 The Undertaker v. Damian DeMento J: 3

Jess: DeMento starts this off firing off some nice Larry Holmes haymakers to Taker's jaw piece. There's some awkwardness in trying to pull off a few moves but DeMento's a fun beat up dummy, he takes a clothesline and slaps the mat, pissed his creepy self can't manifest some answer to Taker's offense. ending is just out of nowhere which hurts my final thoughts.

01/18 El Matador v. Ric Flair J: 4

Jess: I don't know of anything mroe fun than watching a spry and young Flair bump, besides maybe playing Skeeball while intoxicated. The match had a nice build up to, but both men could have done that in their sleep. super hot crowd too, the molten level brawl with Flair and Perfect was just nuts and really amped everyone up.

01/25 Mr. Perfect v. Ric Flair (Loser Leaves match) J:7

Jess: This was a damn exciting match. Unfortunately, rewatching this, nearly 20 years later, you can't recreate the excitement and tension during a loser leaves match but the announcers did a great job of conveying it. This had some real length to it and Flair still was put over huge in the match itself as well as Perfect who may have never had a better signular performance than this in WWF. Def. seek this out

02/01 Doink the Clown v. Typhoon J: 2

Jess: So, it's fun watching a clown perform amateur moves on huge clutz, but it only takes you so far. The finish was as weak as Bartlett's ringside attempts at comedy.

02/15 Ted Dibiase v. Brutus Beefcake J: 1

Jess: This was just a posturing angle. Beefcake strutted more than he bumped and that doesn't cut it with me. Dibiase did take a nice bump to the floor about 5 mins in but Beefcake outsmarting him and his growing beer belly (or should I say Caviar belly in his case) just further insulted my intelligence.

02/22 Crush v. Terry Taylor J:2

Jess: Well this week the real main event was Undertaker v. Skinner but they went off the air as Taker was being choked by a plasticine bader foot? I'm not sure. Taylor was kind of fun here, hit a nice spinning neckbreaker and I enjoyed his silent push as this great wrestler as Crush was coming down the ring. His tilt a whirl backbreaker worked but the head crunch is really hard to buy, and I've had 12 shots of tequila.

03/01 Steiner Brothers v. Duane Gill/ Barry Hardy J:3

Jess: God I missed these old Steiner destructions, they absolutely slaughtered these two and I loved the big smiles on the jobbers faces before this started; nothing but frowns afterwards

03/08 Mr. Perfect v. Rick "Model" Martel J:5

Jess: I loved,loved,loved the slam/ kip up section to kick this off. Martel was just oozing charisma in his sea captains outfit earlier blasting Bartlett for looking like a moyle. Both guys selling was really on and Perfect here in early '93 found a real rhythm with offense. Cool thing you could see is both guys giving up control to the other and the match had a real breezy pace due to that. Real good stuff.

03/15 Nasty Boys v. The Headshrinkers J:6

Jess: Just read these two names and you know exactly what you get. The Nastys, now face, seemed a little soft. Shrinkers were doleing out plenty of rough shots, liked the savate kick later on. Pitch perfect pace, everything falling right in line Double countout finish but in this case, a positive, as they ended with chair shots and people covered in mustard which is always a party for my eyes.

03/22 Doink the Clown v. Kamala J:2

Jess: It had probably been 15 years since anyone saw Kamala get stretched like this, if even then. And it's fun. Doink doesn't care about gimmicks at all, he just goes in and wraps people up and it's so much fun. And I loved the empty present but there was really no substance to this at all.

03/29 The Undertaker v. Bam Bam Bigelow J:4

Jess: Drop toe hold spot off bat and Bammer is selling it great. Even thought Taker has to move super slowly, because, you know he's a demon zombie, I think, but he manages to add these little touches, these flourishes to show some stuff off, like the aggressive claw hold. Bam Bam goes through his stuff but Taker just bumps mechanically to it. Finish surprisingly preserved Bam Bam even though he wasn't on the Mania 9 card.

04/05 Jerry Lawler v. Jim Powers J:2

Jess: Lawler had a good schtick going on for some crazy heat and finally had to step in for his debut. And who did he face? Former Young Stallion and known pushed superstar Jim Powers! He did hit a flying clothesline and seemed to bounce off the mat like a Flubber with all those perky muscles. Lawler stalled but didn't waste any time finishing this off

04/12 Friar Ferguson v. Chris Duffy J: 1

Jess: Bless this wine Friar, but please try not to fart on it. I didn't think anyone on TV was uglier than Rob Bartlett, but dear god, Ferguson was frightning. Duffy was all game for this though, maybe he was getting some kind of hazar pay, I esp. like his bump out of the ring. This did drag though and went way too long.

04/19 Bam Bam Bigelow v. Phil Apollo J: 2

Jess: Apollo looks like one of Tony Soprano's dumb cousins with a spaghetti obsession. Neck Crank comes on about 1 min. in and it actually looks like it hurts. At that point, Savage comments "Is it my imagination or does the competition here keep getting better and better and better and bettttterrrrr?" I mean damn, a suplex from Bam Bam was stiff! Doink comes out with an umbrella and takes a super creepy closeup, just stone faced as Bartlett asks "Is he just schizophrenic or what?" All the announcers feel for Apollo, and the good Friar stands over him building his first proram; bet that won sold some tix.

WCW Road Wild 1999

Being the big WCW fan that I am, I can never pass up the opportunity to score an old WCW VHS tape. This particular tape I found this tape stuffed in the corner of a booth at the local flea market behind some old mid-90s WWF action figures. A mere five dollars later and it was mine, all mine. After getting home, I dusted off the ol’ VCR and popped this bad boy in. Let’s see what’s contained within.

Before talking about any matches, I have to comment first on how ridiculous the WCW announce crew looks dressed in biker apparel. Schiavone and Tenay look like complete fools, while Heenan has this look on his face like “why the fuck am I wearing this?”

1) Vampiro & Insane Clown Posse vs. Eddie Guerrero, Billy Kidman, & Rey Mysterio – 4

First out of the gate we get the ICP, who are completely out of place at a biker rally. Who knows, maybe they were scouting locations for their next Juggalo gathering. Wearing hockey jerseys and face paint makes them look like low-level indy schmucks. Mysterio took a couple gnarly bumps, including a toss powerbomb where he went halfway across the ring and a “Vampiro Spike”, as Heenan called it, on the floor. Eddie busted out a sick superplex on Shaggy. Everyone played it pretty safe it felt like. Kidman contributed next to nothing except for getting the hot tag and scoring the pinfall. This was a fun way to get the show started and kept a good pace throughout.

2) Bam Bam Bigelow & Kanyon vs. Harlem Heat – 3

This was decent, but definitely felt more like a Nitro main event than a pay-per-view tag title match. Bigelow looked awful in pretty much everything he did. Wrestling the match in a t-shirt didn’t help matters any either. I think I’d rather listen to Stevie Ray talk about “fruitbooties” and ask questions like “What’s Kronik doing in a juke joint?” on commentary than watch him wrestle. He seemed completely emotionless during the whole match. Maybe he had other things on his mind like who was going to win the funny car races that weekend. Booker and Kanyon meshed pretty well and held things together.

3) Curt Hennig, Bobby Duncum Jr., & Barry Windham vs. Shane Douglas, Dean Malenko, & Perry Saturn – 4

This is the third straight match where someone (Barry Windham) is wrestling in either a t-shirt or jersey. I hope that’s an ongoing theme during this show. Duncum may not have done much in WCW but I will forever like him now as he popped the asswad known as Shane Douglas hard in the mouth with one of the stiffest boots to the face I’ve ever seen. Hopefully that shut Douglas up for a while. This match had a completely different feel than the other tag bouts thus far. It felt more like a wild brawl than a formulaic six-man tag. I was surprised that in ’99 Hennig was still doing his crazy bumping and selling exactly like he did in ’90 and ’91. Douglas worked nearly the whole match for his team and I don’t think Malenko even got tagged in. As much as I hate to say it, Windham was probably the worst performer of the whole match and looked really out of shape. Sad really as this was probably the last high-profile match he had.

4) Buff Bagwell vs. The Cat – 2

Talk about a major waste of time. Just driving aimlessly around my neighborhood would be a more exciting venture than watching this match. I never was a big fan of Bagwell and I wasn’t looking forward to watching this at all. There was lots of bullshit including The Cat jawing with the fans before and during the majority of the match. Sonny Onoo, who accompanied The Cat ringside, looked like a World War II kamikaze pilot. These guys worked as well together as peanut butter and mayonnaise. A shitty roll up from an ultra telegraphed finish polished this one off.

5) Diamond Dallas Page vs. Chris Benoit  - No DQ Match – 5

Looking at this on paper, it certainly has the potential to be the best match on the card. However, I think I may have held it to some pretty lofty expectations. I liked the fight on the floor to start and the baseball slide dropkick that started it off caught DDP pretty hard. The spinebuster that DDP busted out was so crisp it looked like one out of the Arn Anderson playbook. One segment of this match that some people may find disturbing is that Benoit was choked and strangled with a belt during the match. I’m not going to throw any jokes in here about the whole Benoit situation five years ago but suffice to say that some people who were disturbed by what Benoit did, may find that segment a bit hard to watch. Match had a few good nearfall segments but the ending here hurt this with lots of interference from Kanyon and Bam Bam Bigelow. A fine match but a match that I definitely was expecting a bit more out of.

6) Sid Vicious vs. Sting – 3

7) Rick Steiner vs. Goldberg – 3

 These next two matches I’ll talk about in a group simply because neither of them had anything that really stood out and my notes on them are only a few lines each. For your fun fact of the day, this was the third time that Sting and Sid fought on WCW pay-per-view with Sting winning both prior times. Brawl at the beginning of this was pretty uninspired and weak. Sting barely got any offense in the whole match and Sid pretty much coasted. Some really bad work by Sid no-selling a nut shot and then popping up immediately after a big superplex to go right into the corner to get in position for Sting to give him the Stinger splash. Steiner and Golderg was only about five minutes long and featured Rick Steiner using Goldberg’s knee brace as a blatant weapon throughout the whole match. Goldberg’s spear was pretty awesome but that was about the only highlight.

 8) Dennis Rodman vs. Randy Savage – 3

Well, this show has certainly started to fall off a cliff in terms of quality. I’ve heard stories about how bad this match really is but I haven’t seen it personally since the last time I rented the tape in the video store nearly eight years ago. Savage looked so roided up here is wasn’t even funny. The announcers were flipping their collective lids when Rodman executed some of the most basic moves. Three minutes in and the bullshit begins, first there’s a ref bump, and then another, and then another. Three ref bumps in five minutes? Sure, why the hell not. Of course, there has to be a brawl that turns out rather shitty when Rodman gets stuffed in Port-A-Potty and Savage tips it over. The end was lame with yet another ref bump (that’s four if your counting) and then blatant interference from Gorgeous George who gives Savage a chain to KO Rodman and end this abomination. I give this points mainly for sheer entertainment value because the backstage brawl was pretty fun. Would I want to watch this again? Not really. Would I prefer to watch this over Bagwell/Cat or Sid/Sting? Actually I would.

9) Hulk Hogan vs. Kevin Nash – Retirement Match – 3

Main event time and was it ever bad. Nash was holding some of the weakest headlocks I’ve ever seen executed inside a ring. Hell, I’ve seen better headlocks on episodes of COPS. Watching this I was having flashbacks to Hogan vs. Sid at WrestleMania 8 with the knuckle locks and the hard lock-ups and shoving each other in the corner. Both guys offense was awful, especially Nash who was throwing really weak elbows in the corner. Hogan moved with all the agility of a brick wall. I chuckled when I noticed Nash taking a page out of his buddy Triple H’s playbook and selling punches by doing the “hair whip”. Best offensive move of the match was Nash delivering a stiff Jackknife Powerbomb. For a match where the career of both guys was on the line, it certainly didn’t have the feel of two guys fighting for their livelihood. Instead it felt more like a run-of-the-mill match with two old guys doing an exhibiton of their famous spots.

Hardy Boyz vs. Mr. Perfect & Big Boss Man

Matt & Jeff Hardy vs. Mr. Perfect & Big Boss Man - WWE Raw 4/1/02 - 5

Two guys I dug from the early-'90's versus two of my favorites from the late-'90's.  Matt bumps big off of a BBM sidewalk slam.  Hennig is great at choking Matt while the ref is distracted.  The veterans are sharp and focused.  Too bad this team didn't get a run.  Great facial on a missed splash into the corner by Boss Man who crotches himself and drools everywhere.  Jeff has anime hair and gets a hot tag but the crowd cools down to a simmer quickly.  Jeff seems to have stolen a pair of Arsenio Hall's purple pants from '92.  Fucking delicious finish with BBM eating a Twist of Fate>Swanton combination and selling it like a precursor to his own death.

2nd Annual Battle of the WWF Superstars

Again, as with most future reviews, this is pulled straight from my hand written notes.

1) Mr. Perfect vs. Roddy Piper - 3
Lots of brawling and punching from Piper. Perfect did some wild comedic selling with his singlet around his feet while taking some punches. Good nearfall on a Perfect Plex. Some decent brawling on the outside. Great pinball sell off the exposed corner by Perfect. Piper seemed content just to rely on his punching.

2) The Nasty Boys vs. The Bushwhackers – 3
Never was a Bushwhackers fan. Luke’s punched in the corner were terrible. I’ve seen cats fight with more intensity than the Bushwhackers. Their double team moves looked bad as well. Wild miss in the corner on an elbow by Sags. Really felt like the Nasties made the Bushwhackers work for it.

3) Bret Hart vs. The Barbarian – 3
Barbarian controlled from beginning. Match went maybe five minutes. Not really a lot to it. Seemed like both were just coasting through. Sunset flip finish was a different change than seeing Bret use the sharpshooter. Damn, the referee was ancient.

4) Kato vs. Jake “The Snake” Roberts – 4
Interesting to see Kato in a singles match. Beginning had a good, quick pace. Liked how Kato sold with the body since the mask didn’t allow him to do any facials. Some decent sells by Jake on the outside. Kato looked surprisingly good working singles. DQ finish with Tanaka interfereing after the DDT. Tanaka looked like a fool on the post match beat down.

5) Sgt. Slaughter vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan – Flag Match – 4
Lots of big heavy punching from Duggan. Slaughter had some decent offense and busted out a pretty nice backbreaker and a big flying knee from the top. Awesome face first bump off the top by Slaughter after getting shoved off by Hogan. Hacksaw sold his beating like a dead fish and looked like a drunk while stuck in a headlock. Blatant interference throughout the match by Hogan and then interference at the end from both Hogan and Gen. Adnan. DQ finish with a post-match beatdown of Hogan and Duggan.

6) Smash vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan – 4
When I heard Smash’s music, I didn’t even know who it was. Pretty surprised at how good Smash was working here in a singles. Liked this as it was pretty hard hitting all the way through. Five minute match but better than I thought it would be. Didn’t really have a lot of meat. Forgot when Smash was ran as a singles.

7) Randy Savage vs. The Ultimate Warrior – 0
Match went 90 seconds. Complete squash and Savage didn’t even look like he cared as he put up zero offense and bolted immediately after. A complete waste.

8) Ted DiBiase vs. Tugboat – 4
Liked Tugboat’s big clotheslines and elbows. Very interesting match on paper. DiBiase had his usual good bumping and selling. Tugboat threw some had shots on the outside. Really good effort by DiBiase when he had the Dream applied. Not a bad match and some decent stuff here from both guys. Felt like a match that could have headlined an episode of Prime Time Wrestling.

9) Paul Roma, Hercules, & The Warlord vs. The Legion of Doom & The British Bulldog – 2
This was touted on the tape as the “Coliseum Video Tag Team Match of the Month”. Good first exchange by Animal and Warlord. Offense from Roma and Hercules pretty bland. Bulldog did a decent job of playing the face in peril but crowd never really got behind him. Ref was pretty quick to throw it out when all six guys started brawling. Can’t give it a much higher rating.

WWF SummerSlam 1989

From here on out, I’ll be doing reviews differently. I’ll be typing my notes pretty much verbatim as I have them written in my notebook. Here we go.

1) The Hart Foundation vs. Arn Anderson & Tully Blanchard – 7
Both teams match up well. Anvil no selling a lot. Tully’s chops and facials were good. Loved the big splash Tully took in the corner. Harts really seemed to dominate early and through middle of bout. Anvil was a beast, beating the shit out of everyone and taking a wild bump after smashing into the corner, which led to Arn and Tully control. Seismic collision between Arn and Anvil. Arn just amazing with selling and whatnot. Really liked the mat work between Bret and Tully even though Bret seemed a bit mechanical. Finish was a bit off with some legal man issues and a rather soft double ax from Arn leading to them getting the pin. Really good match with two of the top teams of the era going non-stop.

2) The Honky Tonk Man vs. Dusty Rhodes – 4
Been nearly six years since I’ve seen this match. Can’t remember what score I gave it then. Phantom elbow from Dusty looked like hell. Dusty seemed more concerned about playing to crowd at points. Honky relied on headlocks as much as Randy Orton. This felt really sloppy and had a useless ref bump. Dusty sold the chinlocks like he was napping. Stiff guitar shot while the ref was out. Not as fun or as good as I remember it being from the Dusty DVD.

3) Mr. Perfect vs. The Red Rooster – 2
Taylor looks ridiculous with the spiked red hair. Looked like Rooster blew out a knee on a leapfrog. Awesome standing dropkick from Perfect. Pretty quick match with a nice Perfect-plex. Turned into a squash.

4) The Rockers & Tito Santana vs. The Rougeau Brothers & Rick Martel – 6
Story of this is clearly Santana vs. Martel. Santana plays a great face in peril. Heel team really good at the typical antics, cheating, etc. Opening few minutes were hot action. Tito took a hellacious beating. Martel selling during Shawn’s hot tag great. Awesome forearm by Tito causes crowd to lose their shit. Finish was bit hectic but a fun and very wild six-man tag with a great, fast pace. Jannetty didn’t have much offense. Shawn had a decent looking fist drop off the hot tag. Jacques Rougeau looked a bit like Shane Douglas from afar.

5) Intercontinental Title: Rick Rude vs. The Ultimate Warrior – 7
Rude took a wild bump the the floor a few minutes in. Warrior completely no sells Rude’s offense. Rude’s selling has been absolutely fantastic for Warrior’s light offense. Huge sells from Rude after getting whipped into the corner and an awesome sell on an atomic drop. Love Rude’s giant perm. Ref bump didn’t seem contrived or telegraphed. Warrior’s selling left a lot to be desired. This has been just a great match thus far. Rude’s inverted piledriver was crazy but Warrior took it on the shoulders like a chump. What business did Piper have at ringside during the bout? Nearfalls were decent but lost some steam when Piper came out. Always thought Warrior’s splash finisher was lame? Seriously, what idiot does a splash on his opponent’s back then rolls him over? I guess Ultimate Warrior. Match was pretty much the Rick Rude show and I enjoyed every minute of it. Probably one of Warrior’s best matches ever. Much better than the Warrior/Rude match from WrestleMania 5.

6) The Twin Towers & Andre the Giant vs. Demolition & Hacksaw Jim Duggan – 4
Duggan looked pretty goofy with a crown and demolition mask. I guess he was a king here? I didn’t vote for him. More of a brawling style six-man as compared to the other one earlier in the card. Action was pretty much out of control with a lot of legality issues. Ax loved his forearm blows. Liked Andre just dropping his big, giant ass on Smash.

7) Hercules vs. Greg Valentine – 3
Ronnie Garvin was the guest ring announcer and I could tell from the get-go this would be nothing but a vehicle for the Valentine/Garvin feud. Not really a lot to the match. Watching Hercules wrestle is like watching an expired sack of potatoes wrestling. Not only does it stink, but it’s ugly too. Valentine cheated with his feet on the ropes for the win and then Garvin announced Hercules as the winner. Lame.

8) Ted DiBiase vs. Jimmy Snuka – 3
Crowd was completely dead. Snuka totally mis-timed a leapfrog. Nice shotgun by DiBiase. In-ring action was decent but looked like both guys were completely on auto-pilot. Nice bump by DiBiase after missing a back elbow from the second rope. Bad finish with the count-out.

9) Randy Savage & Zeus vs. Hulk Hogan & Brutus Beefcake – 4
Hogan starts from behind early with Zeus doing the big no-sell job. Zeus held a bearhug for two minutes in his biggest move of the match but it felt like it was held for two months. Couldn’t really buy Hogan as the face in peril. This was worked more like a handicap match as Zeus was pretty useless. Macho was just a bump machine just taking bump after bump for Hogan and Beefcake. Good God this was a chaotic mess at the end with Hogan and Zeus one-on-one and featuring interference by Sherri and a loaded purse. Zeus sold Hogan’s offense like he was falling backwards off a cliff. Hogan hit Zeus with the purse and the legdrop for the win. Zeus looked worse than I remember him being. Match was the Savage show for his team. Ok match but nothing overly exciting.

Great Muta vs. The Giant

Great Muta vs. The Giant - WCW Monday Nitro 7/22/97 - 3

This is like a Jack Kirby splash page come to life. For '97 Muta looks exceptionally spry and light on his feet. Muta hits a couple impressive dropkicks. Giant quickly tires of this and grabs Muta around the neck only to get a face full of green mist. The post-match nWo beatdown lead by Randy Savage was germane to the ongoing storyline so this is a nice little historical footnote too.