Monday, September 30, 2013

Pondo & Rotten vs. Team Underground

Man Man Pondo and Ian Rotten vs. Team Underground (Eric Priest and Chandlure McClure) - IWA-MS Hurt 3/24/06 - 2

Pondo has a physique that looks like he eats strictly fast food and sticks of butter. Backstory is that Ian and Pondo are usually rivals but due to an Axl Rotten "no show" the previous event (something about him being a missing person) they teamed together and won tag gold. Their opponents look like two guys that work at the local Planet Fitness but with their generic black trunks and bland personalities make about as a big a splash as the turd Scott Hall dropped in Sunny's pomegranate martini. Ian gets on the microphone pre-match and pleads to his opponents that they don't hit him in the head. So stupid. Why make a gentlemen's agreement with Ian fucking Rotten? The guy that looks like every scumbag meth head hiding from the cold behind a Baja Fresh up I-75. And it makes Ian, the co. owner, look like an even bigger ego stroker, that he can compete while hurt yet simultaneously weak for asking for sympathy. Match itself is lousy shit. Some tepid exchanging of wristlocks and armbars early. Nobody looks particularly comfortable feigning faux-combat. Then they brawl in the crowd (does 18 diabetic morons a crowd make?) with some weak shots in the steel bleachers. Rotten also comes off even worse as he doesn't sell or register any of the forearms or other offense these guys are hitting him with. He's consistently got his return shot on standby doing weak body jabs or nut taps instead of acknowledging their attacks. The match that preceded this has a very young Ricochet with bad fluffy Prince hair busting out some top-shelf aerobatics that puts this to shame by a wide margin. Finish comes when Pondo gets disqualified for using his trademark stop sign. This was after like 6 min. of "work". I would say they didn't do enough to earn a paycheck that night but let's be honest Ian wasn't paying anybody cash after this, he may have returned Hardcore Craig's porn he borrowed, but no payouts.

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