The Contents of Tully’s Pockets #2

Tully Blanchard vs. Ultimate Warrior – Survivor Series Showdown ’89 – 3

This was presumably a Saturday morning show built around nudging unsuspecting consumers to order the upcoming Survivor Series ’89 pay-per-view. It’s right around the time of Tully’s second failed drug test, which is obvious, as during Warrior’s intro Blanchard is rubbing his cocaine-crusted nose like he’s rubbing a genie’s lamp looking for three wishes, or, three hits of heroin. The pathos of Blanchard’s performance is truly spectacular, however, very much like most of his in-ring outings. The match is under ten minutes, but tells a complete, if not storybook tale, as at first Tully is confused and bewildered about how to go about fighting this hulking behemoth in fluorescent green trunks and boots that look like they were originally bare white until Warrior covered them in glue and danced in a vat of piñatas, but later, Blanchard starts operating his strategy and getting an advantage. There’s one classic moment where Tully tries to shake Warrior’s hand, but the face-painted oaf squeezes Blanchard’s demure hand and Tully lets out something akin to a “Wilhelm scream” (check the link for background info on that reference) and I was laughing like I was watching Tommy and Beulah’s homemade sex video. Warrior starts rallying, though, but Arn Anderson comes down to bail out Tully, then Haku joins the fun, too; the heels lay waste to an uncooperative Warrior, until the odd tandom of The Rockers and Jim Neidhart make the save.