1. Ronin & TJ Perkins vs. Karl Anderson & Bino Gambino - J: 4 B: 2
Jess: What a strange matchup to start with, neither of these teams look comfortable with each other, like riding the Metro downtown only for either a strange lady holding a giant flower or a dude with his Blackberry out while talking on his Bluetooth sits next to you. This is early TJ, and you see the beginnings of his style forming here. Despite terrible, terrible name, Gambino holds his own in most exchanges. I thought Anderson would bring the stiff strong style but he mostly chameleons into whatever role they need. Still, had more meat to it w/o all the neverending 2.9 counts most PWG openers have.
Brian: Gambino looked like a dick repository. And Ronin looks like the generic action figure you let the rest of your other toys beat up on. "Machine Gun" came off like a water pistol at best. TJP's timing was about as accurate as the Jar Jar Binks wristwatch I left out in my backyard for six years. Bino's got a face for radio and a body for a mortician's table. No wonder he disappeared. The transition into Ronin's finish was about as organic as cotton candy.
2. CIMA vs. Human Tornado (1st Rd - Block B) - B: 4 J: 3
Brian: Tornado tried to whore out his valet to CIMA pre-match. CIMA does what I can only describe as a pelvic thrust to Tornado's backside that knocked him out of the ring. I never saw Carlito do a Backcracker as sick as the one CIMA busted out. Tornado drops CIMA neck-first with a back suplex onto the ring apron. A wise Zen master once posed this cryptic query to me: Ever get a black eye from a black guy? Tornado did a somersault from inside the ring over the top rope, all the way over the guardrail, and out onto CIMA in the crowd. Unreal. Human goes to suplex his valet, inexplicably, but CIMA powerbombs him off the top bringing Candice over with him. CIMA hits the Schwein for the win. Overall, kind of a one-man show, Tornado's heeling can be tiresome, the shtick with him abusing females, inciting, etc. and CIMA didn't really have to work hard for this first round. Entertaining enough but hollow.
Jess: After my initial viewing of Tornado on a Vince Russo produced DVD where he’s being coached scene for scene by the idiot Russo, I’ve just become less and less amused at his routine. Something about his woman abusing not only, obviously comes off as schovinistic but cruel and unnecessary; him being a scrawny dude playing a wrestling character and it just blurs the line. I thought CIMA was going to miss him on that apron suplex and I was secretly hoping he would. Again that superplex spot, the woman took the sickest part of it and for what? I just wasn’t entertained by this.
3. SHINGO vs. Scott Lost (1st Rd - Block B) - J: 3 B: 3
Jess: This didn’t leave much of an impression with me, Scott Lost never has. I was more intrigued by his valet who looks somewhat like the guest Asian reporter on Ebert’s new show. I think Shingo needs someone to lead him and this just felt like watching rust form.
Brian: I wish Scott Lost would get lost. Did he ever do anything to justify his existence as a pro wrestler? Lost trying a suplex from inside the ring, up and over the top, out to the floor was a pretty crazy spot to bust out in a subpar first round sleeper. Finish seemed abrupt and slapdash.
4. Necro Butcher vs. Kevin Steen (1st Rd - Block C) - B: 3 J: 3
Brian: This one doesn't go very long. Steen tries to "wrestle" Necro grabbing hammerlocks, attempting wrist control, etc. but Butcher doesn't oblige and sticks to throwing kidney and rib punches. Forearm strike exchange sequence lacked intensity. Guess the referee didn't care about all the illegal closed fists? Terrible looking roll-up by Necro finishes this turd.
Jess: I thought the idea of Steen trying to take out Necro’s knee, in most matches, would make sense but with him just being a brawler and Necro consistently only fighting back with his fists made Steen come off as just plain dumb. I think they tried to come up with as many things to breeze through this as easily as possible.
5. Nigel McGuinness vs. Davey Richards (1st Rd - Block C) - J: 5 B: 5
Jess: When you see this matchup, kind of an easy score to most surface fans, two of ROH’s most heralded performers going one on one but you have give each match a chance. The stuff with the female fan kissing Nigel’s “boo-boo’s” was fun esp. with Richards wanting some mouth love for his stinging crotch later on. You forget how smooth Nigel is as he pushes and pulls Davey in one sequence like towels in a washing machine. I love how Nigel doesn’t bust out all his finishers, choosing here and there; exact opposite of a guy like RVD who uses every single move every single match. Finish was simple and satisfying.
Brian: A little testosterone chess match early. Hard to buy Davey as vicious as usual when he has bed-head. If this was ROH this would have been way more overblown. Sort of felt like it was missing its middle. The Rebound Lariat that got Nigel the win was all kinds of brutal and the right guy went over here.
6. El Generico vs. Tony Kozina (1st Rd - Block C) - B: 5 J: 5
Brian: I surprisingly dug this. Kozina had no chances of winning this thing. Still, they worked it like they didn't get that memo, going back-and-forth which was fine save for a few badly blown spots. Nuttiest thing I've seen in a long time: Kozina randomly tries to hurricanrana Generico off the top rope to the floor! I didn't see that coming. Ending sequence had some polish on it.
Jess: I actually found myself rooting for Kozina, and it’s rare that happens these days; one particular nearfall after a huge move off the top was damn close. Now we’ve seen dozens of matches with the close Generico loss mounted with big comeback so it’s nothing new but I think it probably was at this point and I think I would have even scored it higher per those standards. Yeah, what the hell was Kozina thinking? Totally caught me off guard when he pulled that one off. This was probably my favorite match of the tournament so far.
7. Dragon Kid vs. Susuma Yokosuka (1st Rd - Block C) - J: 6 B: 6
Jess: Besides a few minor nitpicks, thought this was a solid main. Very telling when PWG imports talent for their main event. I understand why Mick Foley often wears t-shirts in the ring but why Yokosuka? Kid is Rey w/o charisma; the guy can fly no doubt. He takes a hard clothesline on the apron early on which was cool, then gives everyone a photo op by sitting there with his feet in the air like an infant child waiting to be changed. This was more of an American style main event and I thought both seemed comfortable doing it. As soon as Dragon hit that springboard hurricanrana, I said, this is the finish, it has to be and it was the right call. I thought they may have went a little long actually but as I said minor nitpicks. Probably the thing I’ve enjoyed more than any other so far in this tourney.
Brian: I've dug Dragon Kid since Toryumon (and that one time he showed up on Monday Nitro and beat Eddie Guerrero). I was pulling for Yokosuka here, though, for the upset, although that desire was dashed. I thought this had some sizzle without being pure flash, nice basics, some buyable nearfalls, suckered the crowd in, etc. so overall I'd say give it a watch. Minor nitpick was Kid over-rotating on the Dragonrana.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Saturday, November 12, 2011
JAPW Counterstrike 08/22/03
1) Corvis Fear v. Eddie Thomas- 0
2) Nick Berk v. Ruckus- 3
3) Monsta Mack v. Deranged- 4
4) Azrieal v. Grim Reefer- 2
5) April Hunter v. Ariel- 2
6) Dirty Rotten Scoundrels v. Shaolin Wrecking Crew (No DQ)- 3
7) Crazy Ivan v. Jay Lethal- 3
8) Sylk Wagner Brown v. Dixie- 3
9) Azrieal v. Nick Berk v. Monsta Mack- n/a
10) Al Snow v. Mafia- 4
So i tried once before to post my thoughts to this review but Blogspot was being a whiny baby and wouldn't save them. So going to shorthand this one. Overall this was a terrible show, the worst I've seen thus far from a company I've grown to like and actively wanting to know more about their history. One glaring issue throughout; over and over again most every match on this show featured some scrawny beanpole dude in basketball shorts and a bandana. It got a little old. 1st four matches were supposed to be part of a Light Heavyweight tourney (what Mack was doing in it, god only knows) None of it was good save for Mack's David v. Goliath epic he was trying to spin and while some of it was hard to stomach, i liked the work involved. Opener was nothing, a bad angle; Ruckus broke out every gymnastics routine he could think of on completely vanilla Berk who looked like Chris Masters 2 months off the juice wearing what I can only describe as something Grimace wiped his ass with. Azrieal is a homegrown star; like the hydroponics he grows. His match was a collection of insults to wrestling.
The ladies match also really stank, like Tom Green's soul. Hunter has some talent but Ariel looked atrocious; at one point outside she turned around and tossed her feet backwards at Hunter, getting in position for Rey's bulldog spot but it looked more like she was either about to receive anal sex or pretending she was Garfield. Our tag bout was a mess of epic proportions, like Health care in this country. Scoundrelz are what they say they are; two greasy dudes using all the cheap heat you can think of. the Crew was massively obese Samoan dudes who looked like they were dressed by HR Pufnstuf. The finish to that was a laugh riot; tried to do a partner attacks partner spot but one of the Crew was so gassed he was barely trotting around the ring to hit his mark; then I saw the 2nd Danny Maff swerve in 2 JAPW shows; tell me he didn't look up to Russo.
Poor Jay; had probably only been in the business a year and he was carrying this schlep to a barely passable match. Ivan blew dick harder than Paris Hilton looking for a new reality show. Punches that made a kangaroo seem like a championship boxer and the timing of John Edwards. I kind of like Slyk, he's a big dude with no coordination who likes to come off the top rope; Dixie looked like a remora attached to a Tiger shark fighting Slyk. Match wasn't bad though. The 3 way at the end kept cutting out on me, I know there was a crowd brawl and interference, go figure.
Main event was a hallmark to Al's old ECW bouts, took a sloppy table bump at one point, more gang style attacks and all his traditional spots (didn't recognize some of them) Mafia sells a punch like no ones business too and the finish was relatively clean and stiff. Wasnt overwraught with problems like most of this show.
2) Nick Berk v. Ruckus- 3
3) Monsta Mack v. Deranged- 4
4) Azrieal v. Grim Reefer- 2
5) April Hunter v. Ariel- 2
6) Dirty Rotten Scoundrels v. Shaolin Wrecking Crew (No DQ)- 3
7) Crazy Ivan v. Jay Lethal- 3
8) Sylk Wagner Brown v. Dixie- 3
9) Azrieal v. Nick Berk v. Monsta Mack- n/a
10) Al Snow v. Mafia- 4
So i tried once before to post my thoughts to this review but Blogspot was being a whiny baby and wouldn't save them. So going to shorthand this one. Overall this was a terrible show, the worst I've seen thus far from a company I've grown to like and actively wanting to know more about their history. One glaring issue throughout; over and over again most every match on this show featured some scrawny beanpole dude in basketball shorts and a bandana. It got a little old. 1st four matches were supposed to be part of a Light Heavyweight tourney (what Mack was doing in it, god only knows) None of it was good save for Mack's David v. Goliath epic he was trying to spin and while some of it was hard to stomach, i liked the work involved. Opener was nothing, a bad angle; Ruckus broke out every gymnastics routine he could think of on completely vanilla Berk who looked like Chris Masters 2 months off the juice wearing what I can only describe as something Grimace wiped his ass with. Azrieal is a homegrown star; like the hydroponics he grows. His match was a collection of insults to wrestling.
The ladies match also really stank, like Tom Green's soul. Hunter has some talent but Ariel looked atrocious; at one point outside she turned around and tossed her feet backwards at Hunter, getting in position for Rey's bulldog spot but it looked more like she was either about to receive anal sex or pretending she was Garfield. Our tag bout was a mess of epic proportions, like Health care in this country. Scoundrelz are what they say they are; two greasy dudes using all the cheap heat you can think of. the Crew was massively obese Samoan dudes who looked like they were dressed by HR Pufnstuf. The finish to that was a laugh riot; tried to do a partner attacks partner spot but one of the Crew was so gassed he was barely trotting around the ring to hit his mark; then I saw the 2nd Danny Maff swerve in 2 JAPW shows; tell me he didn't look up to Russo.
Poor Jay; had probably only been in the business a year and he was carrying this schlep to a barely passable match. Ivan blew dick harder than Paris Hilton looking for a new reality show. Punches that made a kangaroo seem like a championship boxer and the timing of John Edwards. I kind of like Slyk, he's a big dude with no coordination who likes to come off the top rope; Dixie looked like a remora attached to a Tiger shark fighting Slyk. Match wasn't bad though. The 3 way at the end kept cutting out on me, I know there was a crowd brawl and interference, go figure.
Main event was a hallmark to Al's old ECW bouts, took a sloppy table bump at one point, more gang style attacks and all his traditional spots (didn't recognize some of them) Mafia sells a punch like no ones business too and the finish was relatively clean and stiff. Wasnt overwraught with problems like most of this show.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
WWC Anniversario 1985
1) Sheephearders v. Invader 1/ Invader 3 (Double Barb Wire Match)- 5
What's weird about the Sheephearders is this is a much younger version of them from their time in WWF and they look just as old. I've never seen a barb wire match set up like this; the ropes were wrapped in it then there was an extra fence built up behind the ropes so there was no escape. Pace and flow was really basic; heels then face then heels but this is true Puerto Rico because I'm not sure if I've ever seen this match blood in a tag team match. It was so gruesome I felt chunks in my throat staring at the Sheephearder's faces. There wasn't really any spots per se but I found myself thinking I would def. rewatch this as all 4 men just took turns pounding each other, was a slow start but picked up in intensity.
2) Abdullah the Butcher v. Carlos Colon- 4
I couldn't figure out for the life of me who was coming out to some strange country song so was a little shocked when Colon hopped in and laid a beatdown on Abby. This match basically was just like the last one except no wire and not as much blood. Was really cool seeing Abby ultra aggressive and actually quick; he was jabbing Carlos in the throat with chops like he's quick to fire someone stealing free ribs at his restaurant.
3) Kamala v. Jimmy Valiant- 1
This was over faster than the eventual heart attack that will do Jimmy in. Valiant found a 3 layered Cream pie at ringside, which is as bewildering as Ruth Madoff's account she knew nothing about her husband's "Ponzie scheme." I've seen a couple Texas matches were Kamala comes off as a threat but amidst Valiant's juke and jive routine he's about as scary as a Pugle playbiting you. I've had laughs that lasted longer than this match
4) Road Warriors v. Fabulous Ones - 2
Really not sure who's booking this but it ends up in a random brawl to the back; this is one of the worst finishes i've seen where both parties involved are trying to be protected. Not like they gave anyone their money's worth before the shit ending either. Keirn actually scored some big throws on Animal in a surprising moment but it was just formula until the end.
5) Ric Flair v. Hercules Ayala- 4
Maybe one of Flair's strangest Title opponents over the last 30 years, Ayala has a Nelson Mandela type hair style and a paunchy body but he's into his performance. Most of this is rest holds but when you use that much of them in a match, there's a style to it and these guys work it well. Ayala's punches look like Junkyard Dog getting into an Xbox performance of "Edge of Glory" playing Just Sing. Flair is way more subdued than normal and isn't giving Herc many of his signature bumps to help this get over. We've seen this finish 100 times and it's designed to make it seem like Flair sort of cheated to beat Herc but more makes him look daft and buffoonic.
6) Dory Funk jr v. Sweet Brown Sugar- 5
Not sure why this was on last but it smoked like a brisquet where the World Title match just burned too long. Sugar can fly, dropkicks are higher than Joe Rogan before boarding an international flight. Real interesting use of Dory as he's here to get Sugar over but you can tell from the way this is structured he's not making himself look bad doing it and he succeeds on both ends. The mat wrestling is fine, good even and Dory stalls to where it doesn't annoy me like most. Some running buddies come in but keep the interference to a minimum and this surprinsingly closes out the show on a good note.
What's weird about the Sheephearders is this is a much younger version of them from their time in WWF and they look just as old. I've never seen a barb wire match set up like this; the ropes were wrapped in it then there was an extra fence built up behind the ropes so there was no escape. Pace and flow was really basic; heels then face then heels but this is true Puerto Rico because I'm not sure if I've ever seen this match blood in a tag team match. It was so gruesome I felt chunks in my throat staring at the Sheephearder's faces. There wasn't really any spots per se but I found myself thinking I would def. rewatch this as all 4 men just took turns pounding each other, was a slow start but picked up in intensity.
2) Abdullah the Butcher v. Carlos Colon- 4
I couldn't figure out for the life of me who was coming out to some strange country song so was a little shocked when Colon hopped in and laid a beatdown on Abby. This match basically was just like the last one except no wire and not as much blood. Was really cool seeing Abby ultra aggressive and actually quick; he was jabbing Carlos in the throat with chops like he's quick to fire someone stealing free ribs at his restaurant.
3) Kamala v. Jimmy Valiant- 1
This was over faster than the eventual heart attack that will do Jimmy in. Valiant found a 3 layered Cream pie at ringside, which is as bewildering as Ruth Madoff's account she knew nothing about her husband's "Ponzie scheme." I've seen a couple Texas matches were Kamala comes off as a threat but amidst Valiant's juke and jive routine he's about as scary as a Pugle playbiting you. I've had laughs that lasted longer than this match
4) Road Warriors v. Fabulous Ones - 2
Really not sure who's booking this but it ends up in a random brawl to the back; this is one of the worst finishes i've seen where both parties involved are trying to be protected. Not like they gave anyone their money's worth before the shit ending either. Keirn actually scored some big throws on Animal in a surprising moment but it was just formula until the end.
5) Ric Flair v. Hercules Ayala- 4
Maybe one of Flair's strangest Title opponents over the last 30 years, Ayala has a Nelson Mandela type hair style and a paunchy body but he's into his performance. Most of this is rest holds but when you use that much of them in a match, there's a style to it and these guys work it well. Ayala's punches look like Junkyard Dog getting into an Xbox performance of "Edge of Glory" playing Just Sing. Flair is way more subdued than normal and isn't giving Herc many of his signature bumps to help this get over. We've seen this finish 100 times and it's designed to make it seem like Flair sort of cheated to beat Herc but more makes him look daft and buffoonic.
6) Dory Funk jr v. Sweet Brown Sugar- 5
Not sure why this was on last but it smoked like a brisquet where the World Title match just burned too long. Sugar can fly, dropkicks are higher than Joe Rogan before boarding an international flight. Real interesting use of Dory as he's here to get Sugar over but you can tell from the way this is structured he's not making himself look bad doing it and he succeeds on both ends. The mat wrestling is fine, good even and Dory stalls to where it doesn't annoy me like most. Some running buddies come in but keep the interference to a minimum and this surprinsingly closes out the show on a good note.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Queue Slayer #4
Queue Slayer is an ongoing project where Jessie and Brian watch six selections and rank all the matches therein. We'll have #5 and #6 finished by year's end. Here's this edition's results:
1. Low Ki v. Davey Richards (PWG Kurt RussellReunion 2: The Reunioning)- 98
2. Shinjiro Ohtani v. Masato Tanaka (ZERO1 Fire Festival Finals 8/4/10)- 97
3. Masato Yoshino/ Pac v. Naruki Doi/ Ricochet (Dragon Gate USA "United: Philly") – 97
4. BxB Hulk v. Jon Moxley (Dragon Gate USA "United: Philly")- 96
5. Monsta Mack v. Dan Maff (JAPW "Revolution" 2/28/04)- 96
6. The Undertaker v. Tito Santana (WWF Barcelona 10/05/91)- 96
7. Roderick Strong v. Sonjay Dutt (JAPW "Revolution" 2/28/04)- 92
8. Danny Davis vs. Mike Graham vs. Jimmy Hart vs. Tito Santana vs. Barry Orton vs. Barbarian vs. Rock Riddle vs. Shane Douglas vs. The Warlord vs. Shane Helms vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Savio Vega vs. "Cowboy" Bob Orton vs. Mando Guerrero vs. Cruel Connection vs. Terry Funk vs. "Rowdy" Roddy Piper vs. Vampiro vs. Sean Morley vs. Tatanka - Legends Wrestleroyal Battle Royale (Kurt RussellReunion 2: The Reunioning)- 87
9. Claudio Castagnoli v. El Generico (PWG Kurt RussellReunion 2: The Reunioning)- 84
10. Koehi Sato/ Daisuke Sekimoto v. Ryouij Sai/ Yutaka Yoshie (ZERO1 Fire Festival Finals 8/4/10)- 81
11. Homicide v. Teddy Hart (JAPW "Revolution" 2/28/04)- 80
12. Christopher Daniels v. Jerry Lynn (JAPW "Revolution" 2/28/04)- 76
13. Austin Aries v. Akira Tozawa (Dragon Gate USA "United: Philly")- 76
14. Perro Aguyao/ Perro Aguayo jr/ Shinjiro Ohtani/ Koji Kanemoto/ Negro Casas v. Jushin Liger/ Gran Hamada/ El Samurai/ Dr. Wagner jr/ Kendo KaShin (2/3 Falls NJPW TV 03/18/00 clipped)- 70
15. Jimmy Jacobs v. Rich Swann (Dragon Gate USA "United: Philly")- 70
16. Jigsaw v. Sami Callihan v. Cheech v. AR Fox v. Frightmare v. Rexx Reed (Dragon Gate USA "United: Philly")- 69
17. Cima/ Dragon Kid v. Johnny Gargano/ Chuck Taylor (Dragon Gate USA "United: Philly")- 69
18. Minoru Fujita/ Takuya Sugawara/ Kaijin Habu Otoko v. Funaki/ Ikuto Hidaka/ Muneori Sawa (ZERO1 Fire Festival Finals 8/4/10)- 69
19. Chris Hero v. Kevin Steen (PWG Kurt RussellReunion 2: The Reunioning)- 68
20. Mr. Aguila v. Rey Bucanero (PWG Kurt RussellReunion 2: The Reunioning)- 68
21. Shane Helms v. Joey Ryan (PWG Kurt RussellReunion 2: The Reunioning)- 65
22. The Rockers v. Power & Glory (WWF Barcelona 10/05/91)- 63
23. Slyk Wagner Brown/ April Hunter v. The Dirty Rotten Scoundrelz (JAPW "Revolution" 2/28/04))- 57
24. Jay Lethal v. Azrieal v. Insane Dragon v. Jack Evans (JAPW "Revolution" 2/28/04))- 55
25. Jushin Liger v. El Samurai (NJPW TV 03/18/00 clipped)- 54
26. Kensuke Sasaki v. Masa Chono #1 (NJPW TV 03/11/00 clipped)- 54
27. Kaos v. Justice Pain (JAPW Revolution 02/28/04)- 51
28. Yamato v. Brodie Lee (Dragon Gate USA "United: Philly")- 50
29. “Pretty” Peter Avalon, Caleb Konley, “Manscout” Jake Manning & ODB v. Cedric Alexander, Brandon Gatson, Candie LaRae & Willie Mack (PWG Kurt RussellReunion 2: The Reunioning)- 45
30. Masahiro Chono/ Satoshi Kojima/ Hiroyoshi Tenzan v. Kensuke Sasaki/ Manabu Nakanishi/ Yuji Nagata (NJPW TV 03/18/00 clipped)- 43
31. The Warlord v. Larry Williams (WWF Superstars 07/27/91)- 42
32. The Mountie v. Big Bossman (WWF Barcelona 10/05/91)- 42
33. Kensuke Sasaki v. Masa Chono #2 (NJPW TV 03/11/00 clipped)- 38
34. Kerry Von Erich v. Vern Siebert (WWF Superstars 07/27/91)- 33
35. Chris Dickinson v. Pinkie Sanchez v. Dave Cole v. Oberiyan v. Jonny Mangue v. RV1 v. Chase Burnette v. Ryan Eagles v. Alex Colon- Fray! (Dragon Gate USA "United: Philly")- 31
36. The Berzerker v. Chi Chi Cruz (WWF Superstars 07/27/91)- 30
37. The Cutler Brothers v. Fightin’ Taylor Boys v. RockNES Monsters v. The Young Bucks- DDT4 Entry Four way Tag Team Match (PWG Kurt RussellReunion 2: The Reunioning)- 26
38. Jake Roberts v. Sinn Bodhi (PWG Kurt RussellReunion 2: The Reunioning)- 26
39. Bret Hart v. Hutch Thomas (WWF Superstars 07/27/91)- 24
40. Milano Collection AT/ Taichi v. Kazuchika Okada/ Nobuo Yoshihashi (NJPW 08/30/09 clipped)- 24
41. Hiro Saito v. Takashi Iizuka (NJPW TV 03/11/00 clipped)- 24
42. Jushin Liger v. Satoshi Kojima (NJPW TV 03/11/00 clipped)- 23
43. British Bulldog v. Earthquake (WWF Barcelona 10/05/91)- 21
44. Rush Margera/ Corvis Fear v. The Outcast Killaz (JAPW "Revolution" 2/28/04))- 18
45. AKIRA v. Koji Kanemoto (NJPW TV 03/11/00 clipped)- 16
46. Shinya Hashimoto v. Scott Norton (NJPW TV 03/11/00 clipped)- 16
47. Yuzuro Saito v. Shota Takanashi (ZERO1 Fire Festival Finals 8/4/10)- 15
48. Balls Mahoney v. The Solution (JAPW "Revolution" 2/28/04)- 11
49. Takashi Iizuka/ Shiro Koshinaka/ Kensuke Sasaki v. Masahiro Chono/ Tatsutoshi Goto/ Michiyoshi Ohara (NJPW TV 03/18/00 clipped)- 10
50. Bushwhackers v. Bob Bradley/ Mike Starr (WWF Superstars 07/27/91)- 3
51. The Mountie v. Steve May (WWF Superstars 07/27/91)- 3
Brian: For my first pick I dipped into my JAPW stash with "Revolution" from 2/28/04. A pretty full card, as most of their shows are, and while I'm still no expert on the co. I'm really finding myself being converted to a fan. Really a lot to like on the event, from the in-ring action, to all the little interview snippets where they were asking people what their favorite Hit Squad moment was (building up to the main event which was Maff vs. Mack in the battle of the former DHS partners). The opener, Strong vs. Dutt, on paper didn't scream out to me but I was pleasantly surprised. Strong was as vicious as ever. Lynn vs. Daniels, two veterans, both showed up and looked great. Homicide vs. Hart was the battle of the two controversial guys, and Homicide maliciously attacking Teddy's injured leg was a great story cog, and Teddy selling it like he was being lashed by Stu Hart's belt provided a nice touch. Even the undercard was all fairly decent if not good stuff, liked the team of Slyk Wagner Brown and April Hunter, four-man juniors match, and the Justice Pain (who I just discovered earlier this year) singles. Maff a huge Kobashi fan, Monsta a huge Kojima fan, tried to do their best approximation of that style and this had some nasty head-drops and strikes. Post-match angle, take it or leave it, but I liked right as the DVD went off some fat, mark fan letting Maff smash him in the face with a trash can lid autographed by the JAPW roster and it cracking his nose and leaving a giant, bleeding gash on his face. Idiot has a scar for life now. Thanks, JAPW!
Jess: I’m digging JAPW more and more I watch them; they have this whole history and lineage they are proud of and push and they know how to bring up their own talent while still featuring guys from other places mixed in. This show had quite a few winners, my favorite actually being the opener, which as Brian put, didn’t get a rise out of me reading the listings but I’ll be damned if they didn’t punctuate every piece of offense and really innovate here. Off hand my favorite Sonjay bout. Next I liked the main, which was pretty brutal and had more backstory than anything that was featured at WrestleMania this past year. And the aftermatch blow to that stupid fan was hilarious. Teddy v. Homicide had psych that rivals just about anything in the main scene and both men played their roles to a tee. Lynn v. Daniels was exactly what you think it would be; two veterans working hard and putting on a great show. There were some duds, Balls Mahoney playing Steve Austin and the Outcast Killaz tag but overall damn fine show.
Brian: My next choice was ZERO1's annual Fire Festival finals and it was another solid pick. Opener was a little vanilla (sorry Yuzuro and Shota) but not offensive. Rest of the card was solid puro goodness. Sato/Sekimoto vs. Sai/Yoshie had some bombs and physicality. It made me wonder why more people aren't pimping Ryouji. Yutaka, who was pretty unimpressive in the '11 NOAH I've seen, looked much better in this setting. The Sawa/Hidaka/FUNAKI vs. Fujita/Sugawara/Otoko tag actually caught me off guard as I figured the home team was a sure lock to win so that was a nice surprise (even tough I was rooting for my boy Munenori). Main event, the FF finals, good stuff between vets Otani and Tanaka. Shinjiro looked quite old but still delivered and this had a nice finishing stretch.
Jess: I thought so too, regarding Yutaka; him and Sekimoto found the right rhythm and chest thickness to really pound each other into what looked like could be a fun feud. Hidaka seemed way dialed down in that 6 man but Sawa and Funaki both looked on top of their game. I actually really dug the main between long time associates Tanaka and Ohtani. Caught a few Ohtani matches lately and while his charisma seems to have seeped from him, you still saw spurts. Tanaka still creeps me out with his tiny body now but guy packs a wallop and there were more nearfalls here than you could shake a Fire Festival Samurai Sword at. Top notch main event and my no. 1 so far.
Jess: My 1st choice was PWG’s continuing big shows named after Jack Burton himself. The gimmick of the show is to bring in legendary stars from the past and top acts derived from more mainstream companies. This was Low Ki’s return to PWG and he looked every bit as devastating as he’s always been. This wasn’t drawn out but Davey sold like a million bucks for every kick and you got the sense he looked up to Ki. Steen- Hero was quite stiff if not kind of perfunctory at this point. The legends battle royal was surprising, not just for the dregs of the 80’s and 90’s performers but for the thrilling finale featuring certified icons Piper and Funk and how good these two are even in their 50’s and 60’s. If you saw the JCW Legends show, you can see this one was done right with less marquee name talent. Everything else was decent esp. the Luchadore match which was a good flavor missing from the inaugural event.
Brian: PWG is always pretty fun but I think this one ran out of gas by the end of the night. Not opposed to seeing Steen and Hero beat the crud out of each other but the booking left it feeling flat as the end result didn't seem to mean much or progress anything. I liked the legends' battle royale a lot -- disagree with fellow NHO contributor Adam who told me it was "just like any other legends battle royale" as I thought they handled this one quite well, liked the layout, talent seemed to be having fun, crowd was into it, and actually had some startlingly good work (or at least touches of it) including some surprisingly good selling. Barry O, Randy Orton's uncle, coming out looking like a stoner that works at a music store was boss. I liked Low Ki kicking ass, always do, but it probably wouldn't have fared as well with me on a stronger QS line-up. Main event fought against the feelings of sameness (achieved from these guys working together so much in ROH over the years) to actually work with some nice counters, near falls, and focused work.
Jess: Up next on my slate was a disc of New Japan TV from early 2000. Foolhardy and complete with Samurai boner, I didn’t even think this would be clipped but alas, it was. First ep featured bouts from a show where Team 2000 fought New Japan guys in a series; the show opened with like a 20 man faceoff and was intense as fuck. What we got to see of the matches didn’t live up to it, although the first Sasaki- Chono had some flourishes of good storytelling. Our 2nd episode started off with a killer angle featuring Hashimoto entering the arena in a suit and tie and getting ambushed by Ogawa who bloodied him up something good. Clips of prelim guys carrying Hash inside, bleeding on his Kenneth Cole two piece were gold; this guy could do it all. We got clips of the subsequent tag playing off this angle where Hash was bleeding from the head coming to the ring; great stuff. Best thing here was the 5 on 5 tag featuring some of the best talent in the world at that or any other time. We only got about 13 minutes of a 36 minute match but the action was fast and furious and we got all kinds of stellar matchups along the way. Liger and Samurai did what they do best and that’s beat the fuck out of each other, but again, we got like 4 minutes of an 8 minute bout but that 4 minutes was doing it for me; no feeling out (as if they need to) just went right into the powerbombs and DDT’s. Amen. While I enjoyed the disc moderately, to have gotten 1 or 2 full matches on each episode would have been fine by me.
Brian: I'm not a big fan of clipped stuff -- imagine watching a film condensed down to a half or quarter of its intended running time? What we did see was intriguing though. Luckily nowadays stuff from Japan surfaces as full shows -- no more clipped TV broadcasts. I think the six-man main from the 3/18 episode was the one that intrigued me the most as there were no scrubs (I'm looking at you Tatsutoshi and Michiyoshi) that filled out the ranks like some of the other tags. Hamada and Aguayo (the Nochistlan Dog) showed lots of fire and really carried the big ten-man tag beyond just guys getting their shit in. Thought some guys looked actively bad/lazy like Iizuka, AKIRA, etc. An interesting choice.
Brian: My last choice was DG USA's United: Philly. I got to see Dragon Gate USA live for the first time a few weeks back and wanted to check out one of their more strongly recommended recent shows. This was a pretty solid card. I loved that YAMOTO took everything Brodie had then just put him to sleep. Sami looked great in the six-man bout. BxB and Moxley, I'm a fan of both, and while it was short (under 9 min.) I loved what they did, non-stop pace, etc. The two tag main events were both good with a nod to the last one with PAC, Ricochet, Doi, and Yoshino are busting out their top-shelf stuff, plenty of high-flying spectacle, trademark awesome finishing stretch, etc. This has me pumped to watch the rest of the batch of DG USA stuff I recently ordered.
Jess: I’ve reviewed several DGUSA shows now, and I’ve harped on the same issues non-stop ever since, overall I think it’s about the match itself and who’s in there. My fave bout was the main even tag, as comparing the 2 tag matches it truly feels like it knew the tag formula, build up to the big spots and make them count and both teams did with the true show being PAC v. Ricochet’s high flying spectacle. Hulk v. Moxley didn’t need to be a No DQ bout but both guys have presence for miles and it didn’t even feel like a 9 min. match as it was more fleshed out than most. My favorite guy in the company is YAMATO, my least fave is probably Brodie Lee so sort of bittersweet there. Other guys I thought were really great on this show were CIMA (who was the standout in his long, never took a breath tag match & as a 2nd in the main) and Aries whose stellar work ethic made him look as nearly the single best guy of the night, as well as his penchant for having fun while he’s doing it. This show had a lot more variety and was easier to watch than most of this company’s output so thumbs up overall.
Jess: My final choice was cut short at the knees, was supposed to be a show from Barcelona, Spain with a really good card, feat. Flair v. Kerry Von Erich, LOD v. Nastys and Piper v. Barbarian; but that ended up on the cutting room floor. Instead we got a tepid episode of Superstars from late July 1991 but don’t blink or you may miss Berzerker feeding his opponent to the concrete, some classic Bret Hart machination or Warlord kind of being a cool monster heel. Onto Barcelona, really the best thing here is Tito v. Undertaker which main evented this version. Tito’s crazy over here even though he’s from Mexico and I am thinking the whole match, that this is a great carry job by Tito and Taker is really giving him the world in offense; I won’t spoil the ending but I hadn’t been that shocked since reading The Walking Dead: Compendium 1. Rest of the show had it’s ups (mostly downs) as the back and forth of the tag match was cool, Bossman was really working that sympathy selling and I dug the hell out of Earthquake’s flying elbows but those matches were riddled with nonsensical finishes or parading Andre out to “manage” dead heat faces while taking a few weeks of his life off every time.
Brian: Superstars was unexpected but I liked parts of it and enjoy light viewing on occasion. Thought Von Erich was working like a dick, fun to see him working snug with some slob. I'm a sucker for Warlord, think he was the perfect version of this muscular monster character, and I could watch a comp. of his squashes any day of the week. Bezerker nearly killed Chi Chi throwing him ass-first over the top rope to the floor -- wonder if he got a package of peanuts with that like an airline flight. Barecelona was a mixed bag, kind of tepid, loved the main, shocked at Tito piledriving the shit out of Undertaker (twice!). Rockers vs. Power & Glory (in a perfect world they'd be the subject of WWE's next commercial DVD release) was moderately good but the finish made the heels look like morons (guess that was by design). WWF arena shows from the '80's-mid-'90's are a favorite treat of mine.
1. Low Ki v. Davey Richards (PWG Kurt RussellReunion 2: The Reunioning)- 98
2. Shinjiro Ohtani v. Masato Tanaka (ZERO1 Fire Festival Finals 8/4/10)- 97
3. Masato Yoshino/ Pac v. Naruki Doi/ Ricochet (Dragon Gate USA "United: Philly") – 97
4. BxB Hulk v. Jon Moxley (Dragon Gate USA "United: Philly")- 96
5. Monsta Mack v. Dan Maff (JAPW "Revolution" 2/28/04)- 96
6. The Undertaker v. Tito Santana (WWF Barcelona 10/05/91)- 96
7. Roderick Strong v. Sonjay Dutt (JAPW "Revolution" 2/28/04)- 92
8. Danny Davis vs. Mike Graham vs. Jimmy Hart vs. Tito Santana vs. Barry Orton vs. Barbarian vs. Rock Riddle vs. Shane Douglas vs. The Warlord vs. Shane Helms vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Savio Vega vs. "Cowboy" Bob Orton vs. Mando Guerrero vs. Cruel Connection vs. Terry Funk vs. "Rowdy" Roddy Piper vs. Vampiro vs. Sean Morley vs. Tatanka - Legends Wrestleroyal Battle Royale (Kurt RussellReunion 2: The Reunioning)- 87
9. Claudio Castagnoli v. El Generico (PWG Kurt RussellReunion 2: The Reunioning)- 84
10. Koehi Sato/ Daisuke Sekimoto v. Ryouij Sai/ Yutaka Yoshie (ZERO1 Fire Festival Finals 8/4/10)- 81
11. Homicide v. Teddy Hart (JAPW "Revolution" 2/28/04)- 80
12. Christopher Daniels v. Jerry Lynn (JAPW "Revolution" 2/28/04)- 76
13. Austin Aries v. Akira Tozawa (Dragon Gate USA "United: Philly")- 76
14. Perro Aguyao/ Perro Aguayo jr/ Shinjiro Ohtani/ Koji Kanemoto/ Negro Casas v. Jushin Liger/ Gran Hamada/ El Samurai/ Dr. Wagner jr/ Kendo KaShin (2/3 Falls NJPW TV 03/18/00 clipped)- 70
15. Jimmy Jacobs v. Rich Swann (Dragon Gate USA "United: Philly")- 70
16. Jigsaw v. Sami Callihan v. Cheech v. AR Fox v. Frightmare v. Rexx Reed (Dragon Gate USA "United: Philly")- 69
17. Cima/ Dragon Kid v. Johnny Gargano/ Chuck Taylor (Dragon Gate USA "United: Philly")- 69
18. Minoru Fujita/ Takuya Sugawara/ Kaijin Habu Otoko v. Funaki/ Ikuto Hidaka/ Muneori Sawa (ZERO1 Fire Festival Finals 8/4/10)- 69
19. Chris Hero v. Kevin Steen (PWG Kurt RussellReunion 2: The Reunioning)- 68
20. Mr. Aguila v. Rey Bucanero (PWG Kurt RussellReunion 2: The Reunioning)- 68
21. Shane Helms v. Joey Ryan (PWG Kurt RussellReunion 2: The Reunioning)- 65
22. The Rockers v. Power & Glory (WWF Barcelona 10/05/91)- 63
23. Slyk Wagner Brown/ April Hunter v. The Dirty Rotten Scoundrelz (JAPW "Revolution" 2/28/04))- 57
24. Jay Lethal v. Azrieal v. Insane Dragon v. Jack Evans (JAPW "Revolution" 2/28/04))- 55
25. Jushin Liger v. El Samurai (NJPW TV 03/18/00 clipped)- 54
26. Kensuke Sasaki v. Masa Chono #1 (NJPW TV 03/11/00 clipped)- 54
27. Kaos v. Justice Pain (JAPW Revolution 02/28/04)- 51
28. Yamato v. Brodie Lee (Dragon Gate USA "United: Philly")- 50
29. “Pretty” Peter Avalon, Caleb Konley, “Manscout” Jake Manning & ODB v. Cedric Alexander, Brandon Gatson, Candie LaRae & Willie Mack (PWG Kurt RussellReunion 2: The Reunioning)- 45
30. Masahiro Chono/ Satoshi Kojima/ Hiroyoshi Tenzan v. Kensuke Sasaki/ Manabu Nakanishi/ Yuji Nagata (NJPW TV 03/18/00 clipped)- 43
31. The Warlord v. Larry Williams (WWF Superstars 07/27/91)- 42
32. The Mountie v. Big Bossman (WWF Barcelona 10/05/91)- 42
33. Kensuke Sasaki v. Masa Chono #2 (NJPW TV 03/11/00 clipped)- 38
34. Kerry Von Erich v. Vern Siebert (WWF Superstars 07/27/91)- 33
35. Chris Dickinson v. Pinkie Sanchez v. Dave Cole v. Oberiyan v. Jonny Mangue v. RV1 v. Chase Burnette v. Ryan Eagles v. Alex Colon- Fray! (Dragon Gate USA "United: Philly")- 31
36. The Berzerker v. Chi Chi Cruz (WWF Superstars 07/27/91)- 30
37. The Cutler Brothers v. Fightin’ Taylor Boys v. RockNES Monsters v. The Young Bucks- DDT4 Entry Four way Tag Team Match (PWG Kurt RussellReunion 2: The Reunioning)- 26
38. Jake Roberts v. Sinn Bodhi (PWG Kurt RussellReunion 2: The Reunioning)- 26
39. Bret Hart v. Hutch Thomas (WWF Superstars 07/27/91)- 24
40. Milano Collection AT/ Taichi v. Kazuchika Okada/ Nobuo Yoshihashi (NJPW 08/30/09 clipped)- 24
41. Hiro Saito v. Takashi Iizuka (NJPW TV 03/11/00 clipped)- 24
42. Jushin Liger v. Satoshi Kojima (NJPW TV 03/11/00 clipped)- 23
43. British Bulldog v. Earthquake (WWF Barcelona 10/05/91)- 21
44. Rush Margera/ Corvis Fear v. The Outcast Killaz (JAPW "Revolution" 2/28/04))- 18
45. AKIRA v. Koji Kanemoto (NJPW TV 03/11/00 clipped)- 16
46. Shinya Hashimoto v. Scott Norton (NJPW TV 03/11/00 clipped)- 16
47. Yuzuro Saito v. Shota Takanashi (ZERO1 Fire Festival Finals 8/4/10)- 15
48. Balls Mahoney v. The Solution (JAPW "Revolution" 2/28/04)- 11
49. Takashi Iizuka/ Shiro Koshinaka/ Kensuke Sasaki v. Masahiro Chono/ Tatsutoshi Goto/ Michiyoshi Ohara (NJPW TV 03/18/00 clipped)- 10
50. Bushwhackers v. Bob Bradley/ Mike Starr (WWF Superstars 07/27/91)- 3
51. The Mountie v. Steve May (WWF Superstars 07/27/91)- 3
Brian: For my first pick I dipped into my JAPW stash with "Revolution" from 2/28/04. A pretty full card, as most of their shows are, and while I'm still no expert on the co. I'm really finding myself being converted to a fan. Really a lot to like on the event, from the in-ring action, to all the little interview snippets where they were asking people what their favorite Hit Squad moment was (building up to the main event which was Maff vs. Mack in the battle of the former DHS partners). The opener, Strong vs. Dutt, on paper didn't scream out to me but I was pleasantly surprised. Strong was as vicious as ever. Lynn vs. Daniels, two veterans, both showed up and looked great. Homicide vs. Hart was the battle of the two controversial guys, and Homicide maliciously attacking Teddy's injured leg was a great story cog, and Teddy selling it like he was being lashed by Stu Hart's belt provided a nice touch. Even the undercard was all fairly decent if not good stuff, liked the team of Slyk Wagner Brown and April Hunter, four-man juniors match, and the Justice Pain (who I just discovered earlier this year) singles. Maff a huge Kobashi fan, Monsta a huge Kojima fan, tried to do their best approximation of that style and this had some nasty head-drops and strikes. Post-match angle, take it or leave it, but I liked right as the DVD went off some fat, mark fan letting Maff smash him in the face with a trash can lid autographed by the JAPW roster and it cracking his nose and leaving a giant, bleeding gash on his face. Idiot has a scar for life now. Thanks, JAPW!
Jess: I’m digging JAPW more and more I watch them; they have this whole history and lineage they are proud of and push and they know how to bring up their own talent while still featuring guys from other places mixed in. This show had quite a few winners, my favorite actually being the opener, which as Brian put, didn’t get a rise out of me reading the listings but I’ll be damned if they didn’t punctuate every piece of offense and really innovate here. Off hand my favorite Sonjay bout. Next I liked the main, which was pretty brutal and had more backstory than anything that was featured at WrestleMania this past year. And the aftermatch blow to that stupid fan was hilarious. Teddy v. Homicide had psych that rivals just about anything in the main scene and both men played their roles to a tee. Lynn v. Daniels was exactly what you think it would be; two veterans working hard and putting on a great show. There were some duds, Balls Mahoney playing Steve Austin and the Outcast Killaz tag but overall damn fine show.
Brian: My next choice was ZERO1's annual Fire Festival finals and it was another solid pick. Opener was a little vanilla (sorry Yuzuro and Shota) but not offensive. Rest of the card was solid puro goodness. Sato/Sekimoto vs. Sai/Yoshie had some bombs and physicality. It made me wonder why more people aren't pimping Ryouji. Yutaka, who was pretty unimpressive in the '11 NOAH I've seen, looked much better in this setting. The Sawa/Hidaka/FUNAKI vs. Fujita/Sugawara/Otoko tag actually caught me off guard as I figured the home team was a sure lock to win so that was a nice surprise (even tough I was rooting for my boy Munenori). Main event, the FF finals, good stuff between vets Otani and Tanaka. Shinjiro looked quite old but still delivered and this had a nice finishing stretch.
Jess: I thought so too, regarding Yutaka; him and Sekimoto found the right rhythm and chest thickness to really pound each other into what looked like could be a fun feud. Hidaka seemed way dialed down in that 6 man but Sawa and Funaki both looked on top of their game. I actually really dug the main between long time associates Tanaka and Ohtani. Caught a few Ohtani matches lately and while his charisma seems to have seeped from him, you still saw spurts. Tanaka still creeps me out with his tiny body now but guy packs a wallop and there were more nearfalls here than you could shake a Fire Festival Samurai Sword at. Top notch main event and my no. 1 so far.
Jess: My 1st choice was PWG’s continuing big shows named after Jack Burton himself. The gimmick of the show is to bring in legendary stars from the past and top acts derived from more mainstream companies. This was Low Ki’s return to PWG and he looked every bit as devastating as he’s always been. This wasn’t drawn out but Davey sold like a million bucks for every kick and you got the sense he looked up to Ki. Steen- Hero was quite stiff if not kind of perfunctory at this point. The legends battle royal was surprising, not just for the dregs of the 80’s and 90’s performers but for the thrilling finale featuring certified icons Piper and Funk and how good these two are even in their 50’s and 60’s. If you saw the JCW Legends show, you can see this one was done right with less marquee name talent. Everything else was decent esp. the Luchadore match which was a good flavor missing from the inaugural event.
Brian: PWG is always pretty fun but I think this one ran out of gas by the end of the night. Not opposed to seeing Steen and Hero beat the crud out of each other but the booking left it feeling flat as the end result didn't seem to mean much or progress anything. I liked the legends' battle royale a lot -- disagree with fellow NHO contributor Adam who told me it was "just like any other legends battle royale" as I thought they handled this one quite well, liked the layout, talent seemed to be having fun, crowd was into it, and actually had some startlingly good work (or at least touches of it) including some surprisingly good selling. Barry O, Randy Orton's uncle, coming out looking like a stoner that works at a music store was boss. I liked Low Ki kicking ass, always do, but it probably wouldn't have fared as well with me on a stronger QS line-up. Main event fought against the feelings of sameness (achieved from these guys working together so much in ROH over the years) to actually work with some nice counters, near falls, and focused work.
Jess: Up next on my slate was a disc of New Japan TV from early 2000. Foolhardy and complete with Samurai boner, I didn’t even think this would be clipped but alas, it was. First ep featured bouts from a show where Team 2000 fought New Japan guys in a series; the show opened with like a 20 man faceoff and was intense as fuck. What we got to see of the matches didn’t live up to it, although the first Sasaki- Chono had some flourishes of good storytelling. Our 2nd episode started off with a killer angle featuring Hashimoto entering the arena in a suit and tie and getting ambushed by Ogawa who bloodied him up something good. Clips of prelim guys carrying Hash inside, bleeding on his Kenneth Cole two piece were gold; this guy could do it all. We got clips of the subsequent tag playing off this angle where Hash was bleeding from the head coming to the ring; great stuff. Best thing here was the 5 on 5 tag featuring some of the best talent in the world at that or any other time. We only got about 13 minutes of a 36 minute match but the action was fast and furious and we got all kinds of stellar matchups along the way. Liger and Samurai did what they do best and that’s beat the fuck out of each other, but again, we got like 4 minutes of an 8 minute bout but that 4 minutes was doing it for me; no feeling out (as if they need to) just went right into the powerbombs and DDT’s. Amen. While I enjoyed the disc moderately, to have gotten 1 or 2 full matches on each episode would have been fine by me.
Brian: I'm not a big fan of clipped stuff -- imagine watching a film condensed down to a half or quarter of its intended running time? What we did see was intriguing though. Luckily nowadays stuff from Japan surfaces as full shows -- no more clipped TV broadcasts. I think the six-man main from the 3/18 episode was the one that intrigued me the most as there were no scrubs (I'm looking at you Tatsutoshi and Michiyoshi) that filled out the ranks like some of the other tags. Hamada and Aguayo (the Nochistlan Dog) showed lots of fire and really carried the big ten-man tag beyond just guys getting their shit in. Thought some guys looked actively bad/lazy like Iizuka, AKIRA, etc. An interesting choice.
Brian: My last choice was DG USA's United: Philly. I got to see Dragon Gate USA live for the first time a few weeks back and wanted to check out one of their more strongly recommended recent shows. This was a pretty solid card. I loved that YAMOTO took everything Brodie had then just put him to sleep. Sami looked great in the six-man bout. BxB and Moxley, I'm a fan of both, and while it was short (under 9 min.) I loved what they did, non-stop pace, etc. The two tag main events were both good with a nod to the last one with PAC, Ricochet, Doi, and Yoshino are busting out their top-shelf stuff, plenty of high-flying spectacle, trademark awesome finishing stretch, etc. This has me pumped to watch the rest of the batch of DG USA stuff I recently ordered.
Jess: I’ve reviewed several DGUSA shows now, and I’ve harped on the same issues non-stop ever since, overall I think it’s about the match itself and who’s in there. My fave bout was the main even tag, as comparing the 2 tag matches it truly feels like it knew the tag formula, build up to the big spots and make them count and both teams did with the true show being PAC v. Ricochet’s high flying spectacle. Hulk v. Moxley didn’t need to be a No DQ bout but both guys have presence for miles and it didn’t even feel like a 9 min. match as it was more fleshed out than most. My favorite guy in the company is YAMATO, my least fave is probably Brodie Lee so sort of bittersweet there. Other guys I thought were really great on this show were CIMA (who was the standout in his long, never took a breath tag match & as a 2nd in the main) and Aries whose stellar work ethic made him look as nearly the single best guy of the night, as well as his penchant for having fun while he’s doing it. This show had a lot more variety and was easier to watch than most of this company’s output so thumbs up overall.
Jess: My final choice was cut short at the knees, was supposed to be a show from Barcelona, Spain with a really good card, feat. Flair v. Kerry Von Erich, LOD v. Nastys and Piper v. Barbarian; but that ended up on the cutting room floor. Instead we got a tepid episode of Superstars from late July 1991 but don’t blink or you may miss Berzerker feeding his opponent to the concrete, some classic Bret Hart machination or Warlord kind of being a cool monster heel. Onto Barcelona, really the best thing here is Tito v. Undertaker which main evented this version. Tito’s crazy over here even though he’s from Mexico and I am thinking the whole match, that this is a great carry job by Tito and Taker is really giving him the world in offense; I won’t spoil the ending but I hadn’t been that shocked since reading The Walking Dead: Compendium 1. Rest of the show had it’s ups (mostly downs) as the back and forth of the tag match was cool, Bossman was really working that sympathy selling and I dug the hell out of Earthquake’s flying elbows but those matches were riddled with nonsensical finishes or parading Andre out to “manage” dead heat faces while taking a few weeks of his life off every time.
Brian: Superstars was unexpected but I liked parts of it and enjoy light viewing on occasion. Thought Von Erich was working like a dick, fun to see him working snug with some slob. I'm a sucker for Warlord, think he was the perfect version of this muscular monster character, and I could watch a comp. of his squashes any day of the week. Bezerker nearly killed Chi Chi throwing him ass-first over the top rope to the floor -- wonder if he got a package of peanuts with that like an airline flight. Barecelona was a mixed bag, kind of tepid, loved the main, shocked at Tito piledriving the shit out of Undertaker (twice!). Rockers vs. Power & Glory (in a perfect world they'd be the subject of WWE's next commercial DVD release) was moderately good but the finish made the heels look like morons (guess that was by design). WWF arena shows from the '80's-mid-'90's are a favorite treat of mine.
Friday, November 4, 2011
WWF UK Rampage 1993
The other day my fiancee and I were researching to try to find out the card from the first live wrestling show she ever attended as a kid in Birmingham, England. In doing said research, I stumbled across this rather odd card from Sheffield, England from around the same time. Wasn’t for sure if I still had this in my collection or not but after digging through my DVD box, lo and behold I found it.
1. Fatu vs. Brian Knobbs – 4
2. Doink the Clown vs. Kamala - 3
I liked the aspect of two regular tag team wrestlers going at it in singles for the opening match. From my recollection, this has to be one of Knobbs’ last appearances for the WWF. Turned out to be a pretty good back-and-forth match. Fatu had a really nice superkick which they showed Afa dancing a jig outside in celebration of. Knobbs took a pretty good beating for most of the bout, getting slammed hard on the floor and taking a really hard kick right in his schnozz at the end. Fatu, to his credit, made Knobbs sloppy offense look tolerable at best bumping huge for a crappy looking dropkick and a wild lariat. Second match was really hard to take seriously, especially given the characters involved. I noticed Doink calling spots on one close up camera show. Believe it or not, Kamala was the face. This must have been after Reverend Slick became his manager and taught him to bowl in some interesting segments on an old Coliseum tape. Back to the match and Doink’s top rope axehandle was awful. Kamala’s offense consisted of chops and not much else. Perhaps the strangest thing that occurred to me while watching this was that Kamala was selling Doink’s armlocks. Something about that just doesn’t compute.
3. Samu vs. Mr. Perfect – 4
I reviewed this match in one of my first pieces for NHO as part of a review for an old tape called “Global Warfare”. I don’t recall covering the match in great detail at the time but I do remember that I said “trying to get a good match out of Samu is like trying to get a cat to fetch a stick.” Hmmm. Not sure what I was thinking there. Times have changed though and I went into this dropping any preconcieved notions I may have had from watching this years ago. Perfect was a selling machine, the complete opposite of Samu who didn’t sell any residual damage he may have had from getting his knee worked over in the middle of the bout. The segment with them trading punches was good. I thought Perfect’s punches were better though. Most of this match was Samu on offense and he kept having this propencity to throw Perfect out of the ring every now and then. Match wasn’t as good as I had hoped it would be but was still a pretty solid bout. The Perfect-Plex finish from out of nowhere was a nice touch.
4. Damian Demento vs. Bob Backlund – 2
5. Brooklyn Brawler vs. Typhoon - 2
Next two bouts were definitely the low points of the card. It’s almost like someone got blindfolded and just threw darts at a wall and the names the darts landed on is who wrestled each other. Backlund looked really awkward trying to fight out of a chinlock. I honestly forgot that Demento even existed and I’m really good with my WWF history. Only real highlight of the match for me was the bridge Backlund used to get the pin. I wonder if Demento ever actually won a match that wasn’t a squash? Typhoon gets singles action against … Brooklyn Brawler? That’s a real head scratcher there. Was there seriously no one else available? Suprinsingly, Brawler got in a decent amount of offense, even though it consisted of more chinlocks than a Randy Orton match. Not sure who had a worse dropkick on this card, Knobbs in the first match or Typhoon here who pretty much airmailed one. Seemed just like a filler match more than anything and they just coasted through.
6. Shawn Michaels vs. Crush – 4
7. Lex Luger vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan – 4
Semi-main I guess could be classified as the battle of the mega-mullets as both participants were sporting some completely obsurd hairstyles. Wonder if the mullet, or even the rat tail, ever caught on over in the UK? Much like Mr. Perfect in his earlier match with Samu, Michaels did most of the work here bumping around like a pinball and just selling his ass off for Crush’s offense, which could be described as mediocre at best. Good grief, Crush’s purple, orange, and yellow outfit is a complete assault on the eyes. What color blind designer came up with that? Crush took this really awkward DDT and then soon after sold a headlock with all the enthusiam of a high schooler sleeping during study hall. This got points mainly for Michaels performance. Luger and Duggan strikes me as a very odd match to close the show with as neither guy held a title and both were still in the mid-card. Duggan had this wild, zombie-like, comical sell after running face first into Luger’s boot in the corner. Not sure if Luger was mailing it in but he looked really bad. Case in point the absolutely terrible forearm smash he gave Duggan at the end. End of the match saw interference from Mr. Perfect and Yokozuna and everything break down in a wild brawl to cap off the a rather fun show from a time where WWF was starting to head downhill.
1. Fatu vs. Brian Knobbs – 4
2. Doink the Clown vs. Kamala - 3
I liked the aspect of two regular tag team wrestlers going at it in singles for the opening match. From my recollection, this has to be one of Knobbs’ last appearances for the WWF. Turned out to be a pretty good back-and-forth match. Fatu had a really nice superkick which they showed Afa dancing a jig outside in celebration of. Knobbs took a pretty good beating for most of the bout, getting slammed hard on the floor and taking a really hard kick right in his schnozz at the end. Fatu, to his credit, made Knobbs sloppy offense look tolerable at best bumping huge for a crappy looking dropkick and a wild lariat. Second match was really hard to take seriously, especially given the characters involved. I noticed Doink calling spots on one close up camera show. Believe it or not, Kamala was the face. This must have been after Reverend Slick became his manager and taught him to bowl in some interesting segments on an old Coliseum tape. Back to the match and Doink’s top rope axehandle was awful. Kamala’s offense consisted of chops and not much else. Perhaps the strangest thing that occurred to me while watching this was that Kamala was selling Doink’s armlocks. Something about that just doesn’t compute.
3. Samu vs. Mr. Perfect – 4
I reviewed this match in one of my first pieces for NHO as part of a review for an old tape called “Global Warfare”. I don’t recall covering the match in great detail at the time but I do remember that I said “trying to get a good match out of Samu is like trying to get a cat to fetch a stick.” Hmmm. Not sure what I was thinking there. Times have changed though and I went into this dropping any preconcieved notions I may have had from watching this years ago. Perfect was a selling machine, the complete opposite of Samu who didn’t sell any residual damage he may have had from getting his knee worked over in the middle of the bout. The segment with them trading punches was good. I thought Perfect’s punches were better though. Most of this match was Samu on offense and he kept having this propencity to throw Perfect out of the ring every now and then. Match wasn’t as good as I had hoped it would be but was still a pretty solid bout. The Perfect-Plex finish from out of nowhere was a nice touch.
4. Damian Demento vs. Bob Backlund – 2
5. Brooklyn Brawler vs. Typhoon - 2
Next two bouts were definitely the low points of the card. It’s almost like someone got blindfolded and just threw darts at a wall and the names the darts landed on is who wrestled each other. Backlund looked really awkward trying to fight out of a chinlock. I honestly forgot that Demento even existed and I’m really good with my WWF history. Only real highlight of the match for me was the bridge Backlund used to get the pin. I wonder if Demento ever actually won a match that wasn’t a squash? Typhoon gets singles action against … Brooklyn Brawler? That’s a real head scratcher there. Was there seriously no one else available? Suprinsingly, Brawler got in a decent amount of offense, even though it consisted of more chinlocks than a Randy Orton match. Not sure who had a worse dropkick on this card, Knobbs in the first match or Typhoon here who pretty much airmailed one. Seemed just like a filler match more than anything and they just coasted through.
6. Shawn Michaels vs. Crush – 4
7. Lex Luger vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan – 4
Semi-main I guess could be classified as the battle of the mega-mullets as both participants were sporting some completely obsurd hairstyles. Wonder if the mullet, or even the rat tail, ever caught on over in the UK? Much like Mr. Perfect in his earlier match with Samu, Michaels did most of the work here bumping around like a pinball and just selling his ass off for Crush’s offense, which could be described as mediocre at best. Good grief, Crush’s purple, orange, and yellow outfit is a complete assault on the eyes. What color blind designer came up with that? Crush took this really awkward DDT and then soon after sold a headlock with all the enthusiam of a high schooler sleeping during study hall. This got points mainly for Michaels performance. Luger and Duggan strikes me as a very odd match to close the show with as neither guy held a title and both were still in the mid-card. Duggan had this wild, zombie-like, comical sell after running face first into Luger’s boot in the corner. Not sure if Luger was mailing it in but he looked really bad. Case in point the absolutely terrible forearm smash he gave Duggan at the end. End of the match saw interference from Mr. Perfect and Yokozuna and everything break down in a wild brawl to cap off the a rather fun show from a time where WWF was starting to head downhill.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
WWE Survivor Series '99 Co-Review
1. Godfather, D'Lo Brown, and Headbangers (Mosh and Thrasher) vs. Dudley Boyz (Bubba Ray and D-Von) and Acolytes Protection Agency (Faarooq and Bradshaw) - B: 3 J: 3
Brian: I think this show marked the day Detroit officially started dying. Headbangers looked like idiots sporting gigantic afro wigs, gold necklaces, and silk shirts. They were made to look even stupider by how easily the A.P.A. vanquished them. It looked like Bradshaw was getting his jollies off clubbing Thrasher. Lame story wherein A.P.A. and Dudley Boyz can't coexist which lead to the eliminations of Bradshaw, Faarooq, and D-Von. It seems like lazy booking to me. I'm not sure why Brown was allowed to kick-out after a Superbomb from the top. Bubba was actually booked pretty strong, surviving a Sky High, and getting most of the in-ring time for his team. This stacks up to the old school Survivor Series team-based matches about as well as the Detroit prostitutes Godfather paraded around do to Arianny Celeste.
Jess: I’ll go one step further and say this show killed the auto industry. They looked even dumber when the wigs fell off after one move. That partner thing carried through to several matches here, even that ridiculous locker room attack where Big Show pummeled Blue Meanie and Kaientai; wouldn’t they have just understood if he had asked them not to help? Logically there’s a huge flaw with D-Von and Faarooq being counted out because only one of them was legal; oh well. It was both smart and I hated how Godfather got to really do nothing but finish off Bubba, he did about 90 seconds of work. Auspicious start.
2. Shawn Stasiak vs. Kurt Angle - J: 3 B: 2
Jess: Here’s the ballyhooed Angle debut match. It was apparent then and now when you watch this match you say “oh yeah, they were going to do something big with him.” Angle had all the positions down and was where he was supposed to be but lacked any charisma in his performance. Stasiak looked quite good here though, as good as you can in a 6 minute carry job, even Ross seemed surprised. Finish happened with as much excitement as dropping a penny in the street; the Joe Louis fans weren’t too kind with this match.
Brian: You'd think Stasiak, his father having one of the shortest WWE championship title reigns in history, would have a bit of a chip on his shoulder. But no, Shawn always seemed content to coast, never seem motived, and in this performance didn't work with a lot of confidence. Odd seeing Stasiak pop up seconds after taking the match-ending Angle Slam which would soon become one of the more protected finishers in the industry.
3. Val Venis, Mark Henry, Gangrel, and Steve Blackman vs. British Bulldog and Mean Street Posse (Rodney, Pete Gas, and Joey Abs) - B: 3 J: 3
Brian: What a makeshift team Venis' squad is and how'd Bulldog get stuck with that cadre of nobodies? Val sells a Bulldog vertical suplex by gesticulating like he just accidentally spilt hot coffee on his lap because he was trying to make a YouTube video with his phone while driving on the freeway. The Mean Street Posse get wiped out. Rodney looked particularly bad throwing some D-grade forearms. You'd find better in a children's karate class. When Bulldog started rallying his wins came off poorly. He gave Gangrel a vertical suplex but Gangrel sat there during the pin just watching the referee with the equanimity of someone reading a magazine in a waiting room. Then, Bulldog used a fisherman's suplex to put away Blackman, a move I don't think he'd ever done before. Finish was uncreative as it was the exact same one from the opener: two faces left versus one heel, one face (Godfather/Henry) does a power move, tags in other face (Brown/Venis) to hit an aerial move off the top. You can tell the writers put about as much thought into this undercard as the three people credited with the screenplay for Thor.
Jess: JR makes the remark at one point that “Hindsight’s 20/20” while Bulldog watches on mouth agape like Wile E Coyote as his team falls apart like a burger from Five Guys. I chuckled out loud as Ross proclaims one of the Mean Streets was in deep shit when Blackman gets in and his punches looked no better. That biel Henry gave Bulldog was pretty sick, with Bulldog having WCW flashbacks and hoping he didn’t end up in the hospital for another 6 months. Oh yeah his wins made no sense; he didn’t even use the powerslam. And not just Gangrel but Blackman also immediately popped up after they were pinned like they were late for work or something. Wait, it took 3 people to write Thor? Was one high on pills, the other reading all the Game of Thrones novels without stopping and the 3rd in labor?
4. Mae Young, Fabulous Moolah, Tori, and Debra vs. Ivory, Luna, Jacqueline, and Terri Runnels - J: 0 B: 1
Jess: I absolutely can’t give this any fucking points. You had feel bad a little as Luna and Jackie actually know how to wrestle but were saddled with Tori (who couldn’t even excel amidst the greatest group of women wrestlers of all time in 90’s AJPW), Debra who was there because of Austin and her deep fried chest and then two women who were clearly in their 70’s. Lawler kept stressing this was a “sudden death” match with only one pin; can you imagine Patterson backstage trying to organize these as a normal SS match? What a joke; only saving grace is it was probably less than 3 minutes total.
Brian: Why was Terri listed as a participant when she never even got on the apron and just stood ringside? For their age I didn't think Mae or Moolah looked that bad in terms of what they did in-ring during this quick bout. Luna didn't have any qualms roughing up the elderly tossing Young out of the ring making her bounce hip-first off the hard apron. Maybe it's for the best this wasn't an elimination match. Why, of everyone, did the champion Ivory have to take the loss for her team? Bad booking.
5. Kane vs. X-Pac - B: 3 J: 2
Brian: I liked Waltman cutting off Kane as he was perched up on the top rope with a big dropkick (and Kane's subsequent bump off to the floor). X-Pac got some Pillman height on that one. Lame cop-out DQ finish would have been more suited for Raw. The longstanding Kane/X-Pac feud would finally end at WrestleMania 2000. Ross sounded even more like an idiot than normal screaming: "DX are scattering like quail!"
Jess: Uh-huh but that time delay caught me off guard and seemed like Kane figured if he’s only working 4 minutes why not take a bump out of it? Thought Pac’s spin kicks were kindy swank too. X-pac’s promo was quite rambling before hand but at least it’s all natural; I still think word for word scripting is killing the business. Thought it was funny when DX ganged Kane as only in the confines of this sport would a guy jumping someone first hit him with a huge gaudy championship belt instead of oh, I don’t know, any other object he could find!
6. Big Show vs. Big Boss Man, Prince Albert, Mideon, and Viscera - J: 1 B: 1
Jess: Forgive me NHO gods, but yeah I’ll give this a point and merely for the crazy chokeslam Big Vis takes. That dude bounced like a basketball when we use to go into Meijer’s and shoot hoops in the aisleway before they put those plastic guards in the nets. I mean, there’s no match and he made 3 dudes look like wimps but strong booking for Show here.
Brian: Mideon looked like something underneath my kitchen sink. Giant Bernard gets schooled like Bernard King. I hated seeing my boy Viscera made into mincemeat. They were pushing Big Show to the moon. No wonder NASA puled the plug on lunar launches.
7. Chyna vs. Chris Jericho - B: 0 J: 0
Brian: Was Chris being punished or something? They have about as much chemistry as Jolie and Depp in The Tourist. Mid-match Jericho pours a bottle of water on Chyna's head like he's a frat boy trying to wake up a pledge asleep on the lawn. So Jericho has to rely on hitting her with a foreign object (championship belt) and still can't beat her? She also survives the Walls of Jericho. Who in the hell was booking her as the wrestling equivalent of Superman? I'd read the finish was a Pedigree off of the top rope which I figured had to be a sick bump and awesome visual. Boy was I ever wrong. That thing looked like shit. Jericho got himself cooperatively into position, and then he was already hitting the mat (knees-first) before Chyna even leapt off. This was a terribly unfunny joke and patently insulting.
Jess: This was a hard time to be a Jericho fan. One thing I noticed quickly was those weak paws Jericho was using as punches; looked like he was petting a deer. Yeah I hated every single aspect of this so badly. When Chyna bumps over that table, Ross fake veneer of sympathy was as laughable as Chyna surviving the Walls of Jericho longer than half the roster of 2008. Let’s talk about that belt shot; it was weaker than Casey Anthony’s alibi. That pedigree, I mean, let’s be honest, Helmsley has never tried that spot in his whole career (that I know of) there’s good reason, Jericho leaping off backwards knees first shortened his career and Chyna looked worse than she did on Celebrity Rehab performing that joke of a move. There’s not a single redeeming quality about this and I can honestly say no one in this company ever had to put her over as big as Jericho did here. Can’t wait to read his 2nd book and find out how bad he shits on this match.
8. Too Cool (Grand Master Sexay and Scotty 2 Hotty) and The Hollys (Hardcore and Crash) vs. Edge and Christian and Hardy Boyz (Matt and Jeff) - J: 4 B: 3
Jess: I thought this had some potential to it. One thing that detracted from the match was Ross and Lawler going back and forth over the attack on “Stone Cold” Steve Austin moments earlier; that being said it was some comical dialogue. I hated the way this bout was booked and it kind of pigeonholed the workers. Jeff and Christian ended up by themselves rather quickly but were just kept on the ground in beatdown mode and both could have provided some good comeback stories. Jeff’s 450 splash was the highlight of the whole show; really awesome. Too Cool seemed to do the bulk of the in ring portion and per norm here, the Hollys were fighting with each other; that’s original. Think on another night in another agent’s hands this would have been the show stealer.
Brian: Another match with horrible structure/layout. I can only assume Hardcore Holly was the sole survivor as some sort of gesture of respect to the veteran. It certainly wasn't based on any sort of appeal or crowd support as they seemed apathetic at best.
9. New Age Outlaws (Mr. Ass and Road Dogg) vs. Al Snow and Mankind - B: 3 J: 3
Brian: Al Snow in the semi-main event? Only other time I remember him being that high up a major card was Backlash 2002 teaming with Maven versus Billy and Chuck (underneath Hogan vs. Triple H). All four guys are working in t-shirts. Real professional look, assholes. I guess it was casual day. You wouldn't see Tony Garea and Rick Martel, or even the British Bulldogs doing that on the big stage. Mr. Ass has all the charm of a cold sore. Slow-moving like a Malick film minus the beautiful visuals and appeals to the human condition. If a I were a young guy working for TNA and Snow was an agent for my match and tried to give me some criticism I'd just hand him a bootleg DVD of this show and walk off. Foley can survive being thrown off a cage but a Fame-Ass-er almost put him down? Al sells a bump into the ringsteps by curling up for a nap. The last act was a mess.
Jess: I guess a ‘3’ does it justice. Probably one of the longer matches on the show but I think it didn’t deserve the time. Yeah and Gunn had abs like a washerboard and he’s still wearing a shirt and what’s that? Of course it’s tied in a knot. Road Dogg was selling some Al Snow stomps like Bullet Bob was strapping him with a belt for stealing a cookie before dinner when he was 7. Haha, Snow would shit a brick wouldn’t he? Remember that wild hardcore match he and Road Dogg had years ago? When they got in the ring here, they looked like an 18 year married couple, disillusioned with the institution and neither wanting to empty the dishwasher anymore. There were more low blows in this match than at a Comedy Central roast too; I didn’t care for that ending either.
10. Big Show vs. Triple H vs. The Rock - J: 4 B: 4
Jess: This could easily get a 3, but I’m searching for something to like on this show. Show replaces Austin? “Yes, sir, I’d much rather take a McDonalds coupon than a pay rise, thank you.” I thought Rock was easily the most hidden in this, because Helmsley did seem to be trying to take Austin’s role of taking a pointless yet painful garbage bump and Show was probably trying to prove he deserved this win after a verbal brow beating from every top guy in the locker room prematch, as well as a Terri reach-around, no doubt. I almost did a soda spit take when Helmsley threw himself through that prop table like he was Chris Farley on Saturday Night Live. No one likes taking stair bumps more than Rock and it was almost harder to buy his facial reaction after it than that his movie Doom was any good at all. Double suplex through that table I liked, because for once they didn’t empty it before they slammed a guy through it. Hunter taking 2 lazy Rock Bottom’s leading to the McMahon spot of the night was all typical main event schlock for this time. Can’t wait to see a pic of Vince after he croaks like that one of Gadaffi’s. Even if you don’t like Show, give them points for giving someone else a shot in the main event picture. Of course, as Brian and Adam can attest this led to probably the biggest joke of a World Title program between him and Bossman but as we learned from Ross earlier, Hindsight’s 20/20 and as it says on a big poster in Stamford HQ, “Forethought’s a dirty word.”
Brian: Triple H got punched through a table? (laughs hysterically) Alright. Best match on a bad, bad show. When did this become a no countout bout? I give them credit for at least trying to suplex Show through the announcer's table -- it came off about as clean as a hobo's flannel shirt though. Show was 26 at the time and should have probably been in one of Dan Gladish's botany courses not faux fighting. What the hell happened with Triple H ducking Vince's belt shot then standing there and watching him do it a second time and allowing himself to get smashed in the face? Made him look like a bigger idiot than when Chyna was on the Howard Stern show outing Hunter's love of anal sex. Why use a sledgehammer when Chyna's phallic-shaped clitoris can do the job?
Brian: I think this show marked the day Detroit officially started dying. Headbangers looked like idiots sporting gigantic afro wigs, gold necklaces, and silk shirts. They were made to look even stupider by how easily the A.P.A. vanquished them. It looked like Bradshaw was getting his jollies off clubbing Thrasher. Lame story wherein A.P.A. and Dudley Boyz can't coexist which lead to the eliminations of Bradshaw, Faarooq, and D-Von. It seems like lazy booking to me. I'm not sure why Brown was allowed to kick-out after a Superbomb from the top. Bubba was actually booked pretty strong, surviving a Sky High, and getting most of the in-ring time for his team. This stacks up to the old school Survivor Series team-based matches about as well as the Detroit prostitutes Godfather paraded around do to Arianny Celeste.
Jess: I’ll go one step further and say this show killed the auto industry. They looked even dumber when the wigs fell off after one move. That partner thing carried through to several matches here, even that ridiculous locker room attack where Big Show pummeled Blue Meanie and Kaientai; wouldn’t they have just understood if he had asked them not to help? Logically there’s a huge flaw with D-Von and Faarooq being counted out because only one of them was legal; oh well. It was both smart and I hated how Godfather got to really do nothing but finish off Bubba, he did about 90 seconds of work. Auspicious start.
2. Shawn Stasiak vs. Kurt Angle - J: 3 B: 2
Jess: Here’s the ballyhooed Angle debut match. It was apparent then and now when you watch this match you say “oh yeah, they were going to do something big with him.” Angle had all the positions down and was where he was supposed to be but lacked any charisma in his performance. Stasiak looked quite good here though, as good as you can in a 6 minute carry job, even Ross seemed surprised. Finish happened with as much excitement as dropping a penny in the street; the Joe Louis fans weren’t too kind with this match.
Brian: You'd think Stasiak, his father having one of the shortest WWE championship title reigns in history, would have a bit of a chip on his shoulder. But no, Shawn always seemed content to coast, never seem motived, and in this performance didn't work with a lot of confidence. Odd seeing Stasiak pop up seconds after taking the match-ending Angle Slam which would soon become one of the more protected finishers in the industry.
3. Val Venis, Mark Henry, Gangrel, and Steve Blackman vs. British Bulldog and Mean Street Posse (Rodney, Pete Gas, and Joey Abs) - B: 3 J: 3
Brian: What a makeshift team Venis' squad is and how'd Bulldog get stuck with that cadre of nobodies? Val sells a Bulldog vertical suplex by gesticulating like he just accidentally spilt hot coffee on his lap because he was trying to make a YouTube video with his phone while driving on the freeway. The Mean Street Posse get wiped out. Rodney looked particularly bad throwing some D-grade forearms. You'd find better in a children's karate class. When Bulldog started rallying his wins came off poorly. He gave Gangrel a vertical suplex but Gangrel sat there during the pin just watching the referee with the equanimity of someone reading a magazine in a waiting room. Then, Bulldog used a fisherman's suplex to put away Blackman, a move I don't think he'd ever done before. Finish was uncreative as it was the exact same one from the opener: two faces left versus one heel, one face (Godfather/Henry) does a power move, tags in other face (Brown/Venis) to hit an aerial move off the top. You can tell the writers put about as much thought into this undercard as the three people credited with the screenplay for Thor.
Jess: JR makes the remark at one point that “Hindsight’s 20/20” while Bulldog watches on mouth agape like Wile E Coyote as his team falls apart like a burger from Five Guys. I chuckled out loud as Ross proclaims one of the Mean Streets was in deep shit when Blackman gets in and his punches looked no better. That biel Henry gave Bulldog was pretty sick, with Bulldog having WCW flashbacks and hoping he didn’t end up in the hospital for another 6 months. Oh yeah his wins made no sense; he didn’t even use the powerslam. And not just Gangrel but Blackman also immediately popped up after they were pinned like they were late for work or something. Wait, it took 3 people to write Thor? Was one high on pills, the other reading all the Game of Thrones novels without stopping and the 3rd in labor?
4. Mae Young, Fabulous Moolah, Tori, and Debra vs. Ivory, Luna, Jacqueline, and Terri Runnels - J: 0 B: 1
Jess: I absolutely can’t give this any fucking points. You had feel bad a little as Luna and Jackie actually know how to wrestle but were saddled with Tori (who couldn’t even excel amidst the greatest group of women wrestlers of all time in 90’s AJPW), Debra who was there because of Austin and her deep fried chest and then two women who were clearly in their 70’s. Lawler kept stressing this was a “sudden death” match with only one pin; can you imagine Patterson backstage trying to organize these as a normal SS match? What a joke; only saving grace is it was probably less than 3 minutes total.
Brian: Why was Terri listed as a participant when she never even got on the apron and just stood ringside? For their age I didn't think Mae or Moolah looked that bad in terms of what they did in-ring during this quick bout. Luna didn't have any qualms roughing up the elderly tossing Young out of the ring making her bounce hip-first off the hard apron. Maybe it's for the best this wasn't an elimination match. Why, of everyone, did the champion Ivory have to take the loss for her team? Bad booking.
5. Kane vs. X-Pac - B: 3 J: 2
Brian: I liked Waltman cutting off Kane as he was perched up on the top rope with a big dropkick (and Kane's subsequent bump off to the floor). X-Pac got some Pillman height on that one. Lame cop-out DQ finish would have been more suited for Raw. The longstanding Kane/X-Pac feud would finally end at WrestleMania 2000. Ross sounded even more like an idiot than normal screaming: "DX are scattering like quail!"
Jess: Uh-huh but that time delay caught me off guard and seemed like Kane figured if he’s only working 4 minutes why not take a bump out of it? Thought Pac’s spin kicks were kindy swank too. X-pac’s promo was quite rambling before hand but at least it’s all natural; I still think word for word scripting is killing the business. Thought it was funny when DX ganged Kane as only in the confines of this sport would a guy jumping someone first hit him with a huge gaudy championship belt instead of oh, I don’t know, any other object he could find!
6. Big Show vs. Big Boss Man, Prince Albert, Mideon, and Viscera - J: 1 B: 1
Jess: Forgive me NHO gods, but yeah I’ll give this a point and merely for the crazy chokeslam Big Vis takes. That dude bounced like a basketball when we use to go into Meijer’s and shoot hoops in the aisleway before they put those plastic guards in the nets. I mean, there’s no match and he made 3 dudes look like wimps but strong booking for Show here.
Brian: Mideon looked like something underneath my kitchen sink. Giant Bernard gets schooled like Bernard King. I hated seeing my boy Viscera made into mincemeat. They were pushing Big Show to the moon. No wonder NASA puled the plug on lunar launches.
7. Chyna vs. Chris Jericho - B: 0 J: 0
Brian: Was Chris being punished or something? They have about as much chemistry as Jolie and Depp in The Tourist. Mid-match Jericho pours a bottle of water on Chyna's head like he's a frat boy trying to wake up a pledge asleep on the lawn. So Jericho has to rely on hitting her with a foreign object (championship belt) and still can't beat her? She also survives the Walls of Jericho. Who in the hell was booking her as the wrestling equivalent of Superman? I'd read the finish was a Pedigree off of the top rope which I figured had to be a sick bump and awesome visual. Boy was I ever wrong. That thing looked like shit. Jericho got himself cooperatively into position, and then he was already hitting the mat (knees-first) before Chyna even leapt off. This was a terribly unfunny joke and patently insulting.
Jess: This was a hard time to be a Jericho fan. One thing I noticed quickly was those weak paws Jericho was using as punches; looked like he was petting a deer. Yeah I hated every single aspect of this so badly. When Chyna bumps over that table, Ross fake veneer of sympathy was as laughable as Chyna surviving the Walls of Jericho longer than half the roster of 2008. Let’s talk about that belt shot; it was weaker than Casey Anthony’s alibi. That pedigree, I mean, let’s be honest, Helmsley has never tried that spot in his whole career (that I know of) there’s good reason, Jericho leaping off backwards knees first shortened his career and Chyna looked worse than she did on Celebrity Rehab performing that joke of a move. There’s not a single redeeming quality about this and I can honestly say no one in this company ever had to put her over as big as Jericho did here. Can’t wait to read his 2nd book and find out how bad he shits on this match.
8. Too Cool (Grand Master Sexay and Scotty 2 Hotty) and The Hollys (Hardcore and Crash) vs. Edge and Christian and Hardy Boyz (Matt and Jeff) - J: 4 B: 3
Jess: I thought this had some potential to it. One thing that detracted from the match was Ross and Lawler going back and forth over the attack on “Stone Cold” Steve Austin moments earlier; that being said it was some comical dialogue. I hated the way this bout was booked and it kind of pigeonholed the workers. Jeff and Christian ended up by themselves rather quickly but were just kept on the ground in beatdown mode and both could have provided some good comeback stories. Jeff’s 450 splash was the highlight of the whole show; really awesome. Too Cool seemed to do the bulk of the in ring portion and per norm here, the Hollys were fighting with each other; that’s original. Think on another night in another agent’s hands this would have been the show stealer.
Brian: Another match with horrible structure/layout. I can only assume Hardcore Holly was the sole survivor as some sort of gesture of respect to the veteran. It certainly wasn't based on any sort of appeal or crowd support as they seemed apathetic at best.
9. New Age Outlaws (Mr. Ass and Road Dogg) vs. Al Snow and Mankind - B: 3 J: 3
Brian: Al Snow in the semi-main event? Only other time I remember him being that high up a major card was Backlash 2002 teaming with Maven versus Billy and Chuck (underneath Hogan vs. Triple H). All four guys are working in t-shirts. Real professional look, assholes. I guess it was casual day. You wouldn't see Tony Garea and Rick Martel, or even the British Bulldogs doing that on the big stage. Mr. Ass has all the charm of a cold sore. Slow-moving like a Malick film minus the beautiful visuals and appeals to the human condition. If a I were a young guy working for TNA and Snow was an agent for my match and tried to give me some criticism I'd just hand him a bootleg DVD of this show and walk off. Foley can survive being thrown off a cage but a Fame-Ass-er almost put him down? Al sells a bump into the ringsteps by curling up for a nap. The last act was a mess.
Jess: I guess a ‘3’ does it justice. Probably one of the longer matches on the show but I think it didn’t deserve the time. Yeah and Gunn had abs like a washerboard and he’s still wearing a shirt and what’s that? Of course it’s tied in a knot. Road Dogg was selling some Al Snow stomps like Bullet Bob was strapping him with a belt for stealing a cookie before dinner when he was 7. Haha, Snow would shit a brick wouldn’t he? Remember that wild hardcore match he and Road Dogg had years ago? When they got in the ring here, they looked like an 18 year married couple, disillusioned with the institution and neither wanting to empty the dishwasher anymore. There were more low blows in this match than at a Comedy Central roast too; I didn’t care for that ending either.
10. Big Show vs. Triple H vs. The Rock - J: 4 B: 4
Jess: This could easily get a 3, but I’m searching for something to like on this show. Show replaces Austin? “Yes, sir, I’d much rather take a McDonalds coupon than a pay rise, thank you.” I thought Rock was easily the most hidden in this, because Helmsley did seem to be trying to take Austin’s role of taking a pointless yet painful garbage bump and Show was probably trying to prove he deserved this win after a verbal brow beating from every top guy in the locker room prematch, as well as a Terri reach-around, no doubt. I almost did a soda spit take when Helmsley threw himself through that prop table like he was Chris Farley on Saturday Night Live. No one likes taking stair bumps more than Rock and it was almost harder to buy his facial reaction after it than that his movie Doom was any good at all. Double suplex through that table I liked, because for once they didn’t empty it before they slammed a guy through it. Hunter taking 2 lazy Rock Bottom’s leading to the McMahon spot of the night was all typical main event schlock for this time. Can’t wait to see a pic of Vince after he croaks like that one of Gadaffi’s. Even if you don’t like Show, give them points for giving someone else a shot in the main event picture. Of course, as Brian and Adam can attest this led to probably the biggest joke of a World Title program between him and Bossman but as we learned from Ross earlier, Hindsight’s 20/20 and as it says on a big poster in Stamford HQ, “Forethought’s a dirty word.”
Brian: Triple H got punched through a table? (laughs hysterically) Alright. Best match on a bad, bad show. When did this become a no countout bout? I give them credit for at least trying to suplex Show through the announcer's table -- it came off about as clean as a hobo's flannel shirt though. Show was 26 at the time and should have probably been in one of Dan Gladish's botany courses not faux fighting. What the hell happened with Triple H ducking Vince's belt shot then standing there and watching him do it a second time and allowing himself to get smashed in the face? Made him look like a bigger idiot than when Chyna was on the Howard Stern show outing Hunter's love of anal sex. Why use a sledgehammer when Chyna's phallic-shaped clitoris can do the job?
Monday, October 31, 2011
Burger Kang #12: Tricks or Treats
Ah, yes, Halloween. One of my favorite times of the year. When else are you allowed to dress like Alf in public and not be arrested or attacked? Halloween can be both rewarding and mischievously troubling, hence "Tricks or Treats". You never know what you're going to get. Just like when you have thousands of wrestling matches at your disposal and start randomly watching them...
From It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (1966):
Lucy Van Pelt: All you have to do is walk up to a house, ring the doorbell and say "Tricks or treats."
Sally Brown: Are you sure it's legal?
Lucy Van Pelt: Of course it's legal.
Sally Brown: I wouldn't want to be accused of taking part in a rumble.
1. Wanderlei Silva vs. Chris Leben - (UFC 132: Cruz vs. Faber) - 5
Wait, who's that guy in the cage wearing a Goofy mask? Oh, that's just Wanderlei. We got exactly what we expected: two brawlers meeting head-on in the center of the octagon and just banging. 27 seconds later (thanks to some vicious left uppercuts) Silva was taking a premature nap dreaming of Tacacá back home in Brazil.
2. Etsuko Mita vs. Makoto - (12/31/08) - 3
Story here is Mita's the bully to young Makoto. Opening sees Makoto throw a bunch of offense at Etsuko that she sort of just "Undertakers" i.e. ignores and stares back vacuously. I used to get that look from women all the time. Mita didn't waste much time and ended it promptly with a Death Valley Driver.
3. Fujiwara vs Nagai - clipped - (3/2/01) - 4
This appears clipped unlike my friends Nick, Chris, and Steve's cocks (Hey guys!). Talk about frightening. Fujiwara controls on the mat early, back on the feet, Nagai slowly stalks Fujiwara into the corner, limping the whole way (good selling), then starts pummeling him with hard forearms. You feel empathy for Fujiwara sometimes when he's getting blasted with shots as he does these old man tight-faced grimaces that makes it look like your grandpa is getting roughed up. Then his mean streak will surface and you're worries will subside. Yoshiaki seems more comfortable in his guard than Jake Shields. The 30-min. time-limit expires during a rough corner exchange but the version I watched was only 12 min. but still enjoyable.
4. Paul & Katie Lea Burchill vs. Super Crazy - (WWE Raw 4/28/08) - 3
Both of the Burchill's are in the ring at the same time so Crazy says "Fuck it!" and tries to take them both down. Crazy got unreal float on a moonsault -- just so pretty. Katie Lea, not to be outdone, hit a pretty swank missile dropkick. I don't remember Paul using the Curb Stomp as a finisher.
5. Manami Toyota vs. Madison Eagles - (Chikara King of Trios 2011 - Night 3 4/17/11) - 5
Geo gave this a "7" when he reviewed it, and while I liked it, it doesn't compare to Toyota's best stuff and felt more like her running through her routine which while spectacular didn't stir a lot of drama. This was on a bloated card so they didn't give it a lot of extra time to stew. Too bad. Eagles got to kick out of a Japanese Ocean Cyclone Suplex and a Japanese Ocean Queen Bee Bomb so she wasn't entirely squashed but this was all about the Wrestling Observer "Most Outstanding Wrestler" of '95.
6. Roger Bowling vs. Bobby Voelker - (Strikeforce Challengers: Voelker vs. Bowling III) - 5
Their first two fights were really good so I was amped to see the trilogy finished off. Bowling, unlike Rich Franklin, also fights out of our hometown area but I endorse him while never being a big Rich fan. These guys always swing hard and with intent at each other which makes their battles so intriguing. No! Roger gets poked in the eye which is what prematurely ended their first war last year. The fight is back on. Round one ended with fireworks. Bowling's explosive and reminds me of Urijah Faber in some respects. Voelker hits a sickening knee to Bowling's face then hopped on him for the ground and pound finish in round two.
7. Kane vs. Randy Orton - Street Fight - (WWE SmackDown! 7/22/11) - 6
This was pretty good, got plenty of time (20+ min.), some nice shots (kendo stick shots were nasty), and good selling throughout (Orton in general and Kane's of the leg post-bump after having the steel stairs dropped on it). Randy getting his foot stuck in one of the emptied holes in the announce table that usually holds a monitor and awkwardly slipping (and subsequently bumping) to the floor was odd and made me laugh and strange they didn't edit it out of the broadcast as it seemed like the biggest aired goof in ages; especially humorous them even drawing attention to it in commentary and trying to play up Orton's "unpredictable" persona. The match-ending RKO on a steel chair looked much weaker than the regular RKO he'd hit earlier but still liked this overall, quite physical and the beefier duration makes it memorable.
8. CM Punk vs. Chuck Palumbo - (ECW 4/29/08) - 4
This match has the best non-finish ever. Palumbo puts on one of the greatest punching demos in WWE history. He's wailing away on Punk in the corner and when he won't back off at the ref's request he gets disqualified. You know what he does then? More punches. Post-match, Punk tries to fight back, using some of those shitty leg kicks he was doing at the time, only for Chuck to take his head off with a lariat.
9. The Fantastics vs. Chavo & Hector Guerrero - Mid South 10/12/84
Really great tag action, Guerrero's looked like the best team in the States here, move over Condrey and co., and really utilized the ring and their superior skill level to shone. Winner's got a shot at the Rock 'n' Roll Express and their gold. No "Sharp Dressed Man" on that night as the Guerrero's lied, cheated, and stole the victory.
10. Curry Man and Shark Boy vs. Motor City Machine Guns - (TNA iMPACT! 5/1/08) - 4
This was actually kind of fun until a "fuck finish". Surprisingly, thought Daniels sold better in the ridiculous get-up, and Sabin, who I never thought as a guy who expressed well in the ring, did an adequate job in the goofy superheroes' control segment, including making the best of a sloppily executed head scissors by Shark Boy. Shelley at one point tried to bite the plate of curry that resides on top of Curry Man's mask and sold the spicy flavor like he just ate a habanero. The Guns did a good contemporaneous dive to the outside. Scott Steiner, Petey Williams, and Rhaka Khan invaded at ringside, only to be bested by Kurt Angle, and then Samoa Joe. We didn't get a finish but just a first act of a match but I enjoyed what we saw; guess I'm taking the glass half-full theory on '08 TNA TV.
11. John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio - Last Man Standing Match - (WWE Vengeance '11) - 8
I really liked this. Harkened back to one of my favorite WWE matches of all-time (Cena vs. JBL - "I Quit" Match from '05) in that it was a chaotic scene to behold. The ring was destroyed in the previous match (by Show and Henry) so all the turnbuckles were imploded, the ropes slack, the ring lopsided, etc. These guys didn't need a proper ring, though, going right at each other. It really felt like two guys just throwing big bombs at each other until one fell. A whole slew of nutty bumps, all worth seeing and my prose unworthy of recreating, but a few of my favorites: Alberto getting chucked from the ring and flying 10ft. through the air into the barricade, the stuff backstage was a hoot, ADR getting launched at the catering table and holding onto it during the ride bringing it flipping over on-top of himself, knocking over the giant storage unit (or whatever the hell that was) then climbing up onto it to do a spot, out on the entrance area some choice moments, Cena getting chucked through the giant "V" and Del Rio getting pulled off a lighting grid onto a table that exploded (like Willie Mack's dick apparently). All awesome. I love that shit. Cena's had a hot streak on PPV this last-half the year especially and I'd rank this above the three-way Hell in the Cell bout from last month (versus ADR and CM Punk). The Attitude Adjustment off of the steps through the announce table looked hurty. I wasn't a big fan of the Awesome Truth interference, feel like these guys have ruined the endings of a handful of shows now, and feel like a mid-card act muddling up my proper main events. Felt like we were being sold a shitty angle in lieu of getting the great finish a match like this deserved.
12. Sid Vicious vs. Mike Rotunda - Submission Match - WCW Thunder 2/2/00
So, yes, this happened. I've seen it all but if you want surreality as a wrestling fan just pop in an episode of WCW Thunder. Rotunda looks like a buffoon wearing an orange Syracuse basketball jersey and your uncle's goofy hair. Mike actually gets some stuff in but Vicious locks in a Crippler Crossface for the victory. First clean finish I've seen on one of these Thunder shows in awhile.
13. Uso's vs. David Otunga and Michael McGillicutty - (WWE Superstars 7/14/11) - 5
I was pimping this match to the guys via some memories transcribed shorthand I could recall the day after watching it online. Here's what I had to say:
- Jey made Ortunga's opening shots look more devastating than DO has ever looked..
- the ringpost bump and subsequent bump from a dropkick off the top the floor were insane for an Internet show..
- Jimmy's slumping sell coming out of the DO corner clothesline..
- he also had some good facials in a chinlock (kudos to the prod. team for the extreme close-up)..
- loved the Samoan Drop counter.. -
- the hot tag sequence was good
- both the savate kicks were stiff as hell
- the "Superfly Splash" was on par with some of Snuka's
- cool booking cog seeing the Uso's beat the current champs.. felt meaningful in the big picture which a lot of SS doesn't get to
14. Magnum TA vs. Ted DiBiase - No DQ Match - Mid-South 5/27/84
Great brawl at ringside, some real nasty looking rams into a table, never knew Magnum had such great punches, and Ted took a big bodyslam on the concrete while the cow-folk went nuclear. Magnum starts bleeding all over Oklahoma. TA's famed belly-to-belly suplex didn't come off as a real plausible match-ender to me. One of the better under 10 min. bouts I've seen recently. I've got the re-match from Tulsa (later that same day!) so excuse me while I go watch that now.
From It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (1966):
Lucy Van Pelt: All you have to do is walk up to a house, ring the doorbell and say "Tricks or treats."
Sally Brown: Are you sure it's legal?
Lucy Van Pelt: Of course it's legal.
Sally Brown: I wouldn't want to be accused of taking part in a rumble.
1. Wanderlei Silva vs. Chris Leben - (UFC 132: Cruz vs. Faber) - 5
Wait, who's that guy in the cage wearing a Goofy mask? Oh, that's just Wanderlei. We got exactly what we expected: two brawlers meeting head-on in the center of the octagon and just banging. 27 seconds later (thanks to some vicious left uppercuts) Silva was taking a premature nap dreaming of Tacacá back home in Brazil.
2. Etsuko Mita vs. Makoto - (12/31/08) - 3
Story here is Mita's the bully to young Makoto. Opening sees Makoto throw a bunch of offense at Etsuko that she sort of just "Undertakers" i.e. ignores and stares back vacuously. I used to get that look from women all the time. Mita didn't waste much time and ended it promptly with a Death Valley Driver.
3. Fujiwara vs Nagai - clipped - (3/2/01) - 4
This appears clipped unlike my friends Nick, Chris, and Steve's cocks (Hey guys!). Talk about frightening. Fujiwara controls on the mat early, back on the feet, Nagai slowly stalks Fujiwara into the corner, limping the whole way (good selling), then starts pummeling him with hard forearms. You feel empathy for Fujiwara sometimes when he's getting blasted with shots as he does these old man tight-faced grimaces that makes it look like your grandpa is getting roughed up. Then his mean streak will surface and you're worries will subside. Yoshiaki seems more comfortable in his guard than Jake Shields. The 30-min. time-limit expires during a rough corner exchange but the version I watched was only 12 min. but still enjoyable.
4. Paul & Katie Lea Burchill vs. Super Crazy - (WWE Raw 4/28/08) - 3
Both of the Burchill's are in the ring at the same time so Crazy says "Fuck it!" and tries to take them both down. Crazy got unreal float on a moonsault -- just so pretty. Katie Lea, not to be outdone, hit a pretty swank missile dropkick. I don't remember Paul using the Curb Stomp as a finisher.
5. Manami Toyota vs. Madison Eagles - (Chikara King of Trios 2011 - Night 3 4/17/11) - 5
Geo gave this a "7" when he reviewed it, and while I liked it, it doesn't compare to Toyota's best stuff and felt more like her running through her routine which while spectacular didn't stir a lot of drama. This was on a bloated card so they didn't give it a lot of extra time to stew. Too bad. Eagles got to kick out of a Japanese Ocean Cyclone Suplex and a Japanese Ocean Queen Bee Bomb so she wasn't entirely squashed but this was all about the Wrestling Observer "Most Outstanding Wrestler" of '95.
6. Roger Bowling vs. Bobby Voelker - (Strikeforce Challengers: Voelker vs. Bowling III) - 5
Their first two fights were really good so I was amped to see the trilogy finished off. Bowling, unlike Rich Franklin, also fights out of our hometown area but I endorse him while never being a big Rich fan. These guys always swing hard and with intent at each other which makes their battles so intriguing. No! Roger gets poked in the eye which is what prematurely ended their first war last year. The fight is back on. Round one ended with fireworks. Bowling's explosive and reminds me of Urijah Faber in some respects. Voelker hits a sickening knee to Bowling's face then hopped on him for the ground and pound finish in round two.
7. Kane vs. Randy Orton - Street Fight - (WWE SmackDown! 7/22/11) - 6
This was pretty good, got plenty of time (20+ min.), some nice shots (kendo stick shots were nasty), and good selling throughout (Orton in general and Kane's of the leg post-bump after having the steel stairs dropped on it). Randy getting his foot stuck in one of the emptied holes in the announce table that usually holds a monitor and awkwardly slipping (and subsequently bumping) to the floor was odd and made me laugh and strange they didn't edit it out of the broadcast as it seemed like the biggest aired goof in ages; especially humorous them even drawing attention to it in commentary and trying to play up Orton's "unpredictable" persona. The match-ending RKO on a steel chair looked much weaker than the regular RKO he'd hit earlier but still liked this overall, quite physical and the beefier duration makes it memorable.
8. CM Punk vs. Chuck Palumbo - (ECW 4/29/08) - 4
This match has the best non-finish ever. Palumbo puts on one of the greatest punching demos in WWE history. He's wailing away on Punk in the corner and when he won't back off at the ref's request he gets disqualified. You know what he does then? More punches. Post-match, Punk tries to fight back, using some of those shitty leg kicks he was doing at the time, only for Chuck to take his head off with a lariat.
9. The Fantastics vs. Chavo & Hector Guerrero - Mid South 10/12/84
Really great tag action, Guerrero's looked like the best team in the States here, move over Condrey and co., and really utilized the ring and their superior skill level to shone. Winner's got a shot at the Rock 'n' Roll Express and their gold. No "Sharp Dressed Man" on that night as the Guerrero's lied, cheated, and stole the victory.
10. Curry Man and Shark Boy vs. Motor City Machine Guns - (TNA iMPACT! 5/1/08) - 4
This was actually kind of fun until a "fuck finish". Surprisingly, thought Daniels sold better in the ridiculous get-up, and Sabin, who I never thought as a guy who expressed well in the ring, did an adequate job in the goofy superheroes' control segment, including making the best of a sloppily executed head scissors by Shark Boy. Shelley at one point tried to bite the plate of curry that resides on top of Curry Man's mask and sold the spicy flavor like he just ate a habanero. The Guns did a good contemporaneous dive to the outside. Scott Steiner, Petey Williams, and Rhaka Khan invaded at ringside, only to be bested by Kurt Angle, and then Samoa Joe. We didn't get a finish but just a first act of a match but I enjoyed what we saw; guess I'm taking the glass half-full theory on '08 TNA TV.
11. John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio - Last Man Standing Match - (WWE Vengeance '11) - 8
I really liked this. Harkened back to one of my favorite WWE matches of all-time (Cena vs. JBL - "I Quit" Match from '05) in that it was a chaotic scene to behold. The ring was destroyed in the previous match (by Show and Henry) so all the turnbuckles were imploded, the ropes slack, the ring lopsided, etc. These guys didn't need a proper ring, though, going right at each other. It really felt like two guys just throwing big bombs at each other until one fell. A whole slew of nutty bumps, all worth seeing and my prose unworthy of recreating, but a few of my favorites: Alberto getting chucked from the ring and flying 10ft. through the air into the barricade, the stuff backstage was a hoot, ADR getting launched at the catering table and holding onto it during the ride bringing it flipping over on-top of himself, knocking over the giant storage unit (or whatever the hell that was) then climbing up onto it to do a spot, out on the entrance area some choice moments, Cena getting chucked through the giant "V" and Del Rio getting pulled off a lighting grid onto a table that exploded (like Willie Mack's dick apparently). All awesome. I love that shit. Cena's had a hot streak on PPV this last-half the year especially and I'd rank this above the three-way Hell in the Cell bout from last month (versus ADR and CM Punk). The Attitude Adjustment off of the steps through the announce table looked hurty. I wasn't a big fan of the Awesome Truth interference, feel like these guys have ruined the endings of a handful of shows now, and feel like a mid-card act muddling up my proper main events. Felt like we were being sold a shitty angle in lieu of getting the great finish a match like this deserved.
12. Sid Vicious vs. Mike Rotunda - Submission Match - WCW Thunder 2/2/00
So, yes, this happened. I've seen it all but if you want surreality as a wrestling fan just pop in an episode of WCW Thunder. Rotunda looks like a buffoon wearing an orange Syracuse basketball jersey and your uncle's goofy hair. Mike actually gets some stuff in but Vicious locks in a Crippler Crossface for the victory. First clean finish I've seen on one of these Thunder shows in awhile.
13. Uso's vs. David Otunga and Michael McGillicutty - (WWE Superstars 7/14/11) - 5
I was pimping this match to the guys via some memories transcribed shorthand I could recall the day after watching it online. Here's what I had to say:
- Jey made Ortunga's opening shots look more devastating than DO has ever looked..
- the ringpost bump and subsequent bump from a dropkick off the top the floor were insane for an Internet show..
- Jimmy's slumping sell coming out of the DO corner clothesline..
- he also had some good facials in a chinlock (kudos to the prod. team for the extreme close-up)..
- loved the Samoan Drop counter.. -
- the hot tag sequence was good
- both the savate kicks were stiff as hell
- the "Superfly Splash" was on par with some of Snuka's
- cool booking cog seeing the Uso's beat the current champs.. felt meaningful in the big picture which a lot of SS doesn't get to
14. Magnum TA vs. Ted DiBiase - No DQ Match - Mid-South 5/27/84
Great brawl at ringside, some real nasty looking rams into a table, never knew Magnum had such great punches, and Ted took a big bodyslam on the concrete while the cow-folk went nuclear. Magnum starts bleeding all over Oklahoma. TA's famed belly-to-belly suplex didn't come off as a real plausible match-ender to me. One of the better under 10 min. bouts I've seen recently. I've got the re-match from Tulsa (later that same day!) so excuse me while I go watch that now.
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