WWF No Mercy ‘01

1. Hardy Boyz vs. Lance Storm and Hurricane - 4
2. Kane vs. Test - 2
3. Torrie Wilson vs. Stacy Keibler - Lingerie Match - 2
4. Christian vs. Edge - Ladder Match - 7
5. Big Show and Tajiri vs. Dudley Boyz - 3
6. Booker T vs. The Undertaker - 7
7. The Rock vs. Chris Jericho - 8
8. Kurt Angle vs. "Stone Cold" Steve Austin vs. Rob Van Dam - 5

The Hardy Boyz were hotter than Godzilla’s atomic breath and spicy wings combined, where their opponents, Hurricane and Storm were as stale as Umaga’s asshole after a twelve-hour flight. Kane and Test was an abomination; Test was blatantly feeding himself to Kane, but still won, and Kane’s powerbomb on referee Nick Patrick afterwards was an eyesore. Wilson and Keibler looked superb, an as pointless as this was, Stacy’s my all-time favorite woman in wrestling, so I can’t totally shit on it, but I would like to take photos of her taking a shit. Christian and Edge brought the bumps in their ladder match, well, at least Christian did. The story was nonexistent, and nobody remembers this match, but it’s worth seeing for nothing else imagining how damn sore Jay Reso was the following morning. Show and Tajiri wasn’t a good idea for a team, and Bubba’s pratfall-like bumps are shitty. Booker and Undertaker was a lot of fun, just a good back-and-forth encounter between two veterans, and a solid match. Rock and Jericho was really good, too; the crowd was livid, and they both put a lot into this one. It’d have been nice to see a clean finish, but we definitely didn’t. The main event was disappointing, Austin being the biggest problem, as I never realized how poorly he was possible of working. He didn’t sell anything, and constantly grabbed guys and lead them around, regardless of what offense they were trying to do, and it sucked. Neither Angle nor RVD got a chance to shine, but Austin sure got plenty of time to brawl sloppily. This show was a mixed bag, half of it was rancid like Stephanie McMahon’s cooter, and the other wasn’t bad at all.

WWF MSG Show- 02/23/92

1 Berzerker v. Jim Brunzell- 3

Hardcore Holly does not have a great dropkick; he has a decent one for being over 45 and suffering several career threatening injuries( when will he get the point?). Now, if you start a campaign for Jim Brunzell for having the best dropkick...i'm sure you'll find a few old die hard fans that will agree, but not I: my vote is probably either Pillman or Kidman, leaning towards the guy who wrestled a plastic pencil and it was more entertaining than anything in the new ECW.

2 The Nasty Boys v. Bushwhackers- 1

SOMEONE PLEASE WAKE ME UP FROM THIS SLEEPING ZOMBIE ANT FEELER MODE! (or whatever that thing was from "Waking Life") I know there were some insightful points in that movie, but I just didn't pick them up and I wasn't a fan of the animation- Brian, I know this disappoints, but I love the 5th Element and you don't', so I guess our mostly similar movie tastes branched off somewhere in between those two films( I wonder what years they came out?) The Bushwhackers had a far too long shelf life and God, I hate their sells. They are worse than old West stunt doubles.

3 Chris Walker v. Warlord- 2

If anyone tries to tell me that Chris Walker did not venture into the world of early 90's soft core porn/ romance novel cover model, I will slap you across the face with the remains of his shredded 80's jungle hair. He has a swank ass cross body from the top rope- he showed a lot of gumption with it, but Warlord------let's just say this website has less material without him currently competing.
4 Hercules v. Sid- 0 Herc no sold every move in this match, the three punches, the boot, and the finishing powerbomb! I wish every wrestling fan in the world could see this because it was so fucking poor, he should have came into the match wearing shopping bag socks and pleading for $5 to give to his estranged daughter, who just happens to be a 5th of gin at the local corner market.

5 Repo Man v. Roddy Piper- 1

Let me say two things pertaining to the 2nd person in this title line: 1) I wish him the greatest luck in beating cancer 2) His stalling 2 finger eye poke remains one of my most marked out spots in my life!

6 British Bulldog v. Undertaker- 2

Have you seen the scores of these matches? Well, go ahead and look back if you haven't. I'll wait. Okay, now, do you get the sense that these guys aren't really trying? Congrats! You win the prize to read the rest of this review.( by the way, if you are a fan of British Bulldog, you need to read "Pure Dynamite" by Tom Billington, the Dyamite Kid. He crushes all your hopeless mark dreams of thinking he was the shit, because Kid could always outwork him and reveals all his truly prickish, heelish backstagish behavior.)

7 Rick Martel v. Big Bossman- 3

I thought this match had potential, but it wasn't given any decent time. The combination of Bossman's white knuckle street justice punches and Martel's real life looking mouth grabbing sell send me into a frenzy and I keep watching this shittiful excuse for an MSG show.

8 20 Man Battle Royal- which included B*rz*rk*r, Br*t*sh B*lld*g, R*ck M*rt*l, H*rc*l*s, Th* B*shwh*ck*rs, Sk*nn*r, R*p* M*n, W*rl*rd, Chr*s W*lk*r, K*t*, J*m Br*nz*ll, R*dd* P*p*r, Th* N*st* B*ys, *nd*rt*k*r, B*g B*ssm*n, S*d, R*c Fl**r, H*lk H*g*n- 3

All you need to know is that this match was downright plodding (like the plot of a Kevin Costner movie), boring (like any Politican's autobiography), asshole ugly (like Barbara Streisand and her concerts), and Flair went out during the middle while being World Champ- that kind of idiocy can only be reciprocated by me for taking the time to eliminate all the vowels from the wrestlers names.

ECW on Sci-Fi - 1/16/07

1) C.M. Punk vs. Matt Striker – 3
2) Marquis Cor Von vs. Cassidy Reily – 2
3) Elijah Burke vs. The Sandman – 1
4) Rob Van Dam vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Test – 4

The opening bout with Punk and Striker was pretty technically sound and planted the seeds for a future program between the two. The real story of the match was the return of Kelly Kelly and her continued infatuation with Punk. Monty Brown of TNA fame debuted with the new moniker Marquis Cor Von and made quick work out of fellow TNA alum Reily. He did the same gimmick he had in TNA and looks to be a major player on the ECW brand. Burke and Sandman was a pile of suck and ended just as quickly as it began. The main event three way could’ve been way better but to me nothing really seemed to click between them. After watching I realized that Test may be a better choice as champion than Lashley mainly because he’s a monster heel and Lashley still needs the tiniest bit of work. The ECW product has really taken a hit since Heyman’s departure after the December pay-per-view and you can see that it really lacks both motivation and direction.

WWF – Madison Square Garden – 3/23/93

1, Tatanka vs. Colonel Mustafa – 3
2. IRS vs. El Matador – 6
3. J.W. Storm vs. Rick “The Model” Martel – 4
1. Nasty Boys and The Mountie vs. Bushwhackers and Bret Hart – 3
2. Jim Brunzel vs. Warlord – 2
3. Virgil vs. Shawn Michaels – 5
4. Roddy Piper and Hulk Hogan vs. Sid Justice and Ric Flair – 5

Tatanka and Mustafa, the former Iron Sheik, had a rather slow-paced methodical encounter, but it tells its simple story effectively. IRS and El Matador went to a surprising twenty-minute draw, both guys were drenched with sweat at the end, and put forth a solid effort, especially for a throwaway show. I’m not sure whom Storm was, kind of looked like a younger Mike Awesome, but he held his own against crafty veteran Martel. The six-man tag didn’t have a lot of potential, and didn’t materialize into anything notable. Bret tried at times, but I’ll be damned, I never realized how utterly useless the Bushwhackers truly were. I figured Warlord would squash Brunzel quickly, but they actually drug it out for a while. Warlord was so muscular he was almost immobile, and as much as I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, he’s a pretty shitty worker. Shawn and Virgil had a decent bout that went nearly fifteen minutes. Virgil was sporting some heinous protective face-gear, which eventually got knocked off his head, which he subsequently sold like someone doing a scene from a Shakespearean play. The main event featured four huge stars, which was kind of neat, but the match didn’t amount to much itself. Flair was pinned cleanly, via a weak clothesline, nonetheless, in a poor finish.

Performer Analysis: Ultimo Dragon

1) Innovation- 10/10

Dragon has innovated wrestling in so many ways, and been apart of so many different facets of the industry, it’s really quite amazing. First off, being the final student of Bruce Lee, the master himself, is quite a feat. Secondly, when the Japanese promoters didn’t like his style, he didn’t lag through the opening ranks; he did something not many before him had attempted- he relocated to Mexico, and became a huge superstar. Dragon was also intricate in the formation of the Super J-Crown, the combined tournament of eight different junior titles all over the world. He was among the first wave of cruiserweight wrestlers to invade WCW and re-energize light weight wrestling in America. And to top it all off, he created his very own promotion: Toryumon, which in it’s inception, was one of the most innovative and exciting promotions in the world; not to mention, there is a move named after him- the Asai moonsault, the backflip bounding from the 2nd rope to the outside!

2) Conditioning- 7/10

Dragon has been trained in the martial arts, and there fore has great stamina. He has always had a decently thick midsection and always looks top heavy, especially with all his Dragon gear on, but he is a very athletic man, and has worked many long tag matches in Mexico, Japan, and in WCW. He has been drug free and was rarely injured in his career.

3) Skill- 8/10

Dragon gained many great skills in his coming up in Mexico, often wrestling in long six, eight and ten man tag matches, learning to work many different sizes of opponents. Being able to think quickly on his feet and keep up with the lightning quick pace of the Luchadores helped him in Japan, where he was lucky enough to work some of the greatest competitors of the late 90’s and early 21st century. Great Sasuke, Rey Mysterio, Chris Jericho, El Hijo del Santo, Dean Malenko, Jushin Liger, and many more top opponents helped build Dragon’s abilities to have awesome matches, which he used to build his fed, Toryumon and it’s stable of great wrestlers.

4) Psychology- 7/10

Dragon wrestled some of the top names in wrestling in the late 90’s, guys who were building the future of wrestling. In Japan, psychology is very important, as it is in Mexico; the only difference is the subtleties in the different styles. They emphasize different things, giving Dragon a very well rounded look on the subject. When he came to America, the point is to entertain the fans and give believable performances, with facials and body language, something he was well prepared for.

5) Character- 5/10

Dragon has always played the upstanding face; a role that suits him. He has a great character and a great customer, but he has always been light on personality, something that possibly hindered him from becoming a heel. Or perhaps it’s his strong bond to the fans, which he has always had( barring that WWE run.)

6) Interviews- 2/10
Obviously, as is the case in the past, I do not speak Japanese, but I have seen some of his promos in translations and he doesn’t stretch beyond obvious points( I am going to beat you tonight!, or I will get my revenge!) and doesn’t use much emphasis on any points. Pretty plain interview skills.

7) Fans- 7/10

Again, Dragon has built a cult following during his career. His time in Mexico and Japan built him a world wide fan base that enjoyed watching his work, which is one of the reasons he was picked up by WCW. He usually got pretty good reactions there as well despite the fact he wasn’t given a lot to do but have good matches. His notoriety and influence in the Japanese wrestling picture had to be a selling point to pull him out of retirement and get one last chance, in WWE.

8) Strikes- 8/10
Dragon was a tremendous scientific wrestler and I would have to say that is probably his favorite style to work; or so it seemed in his later days. He had great kicking skills and implemented them very well into his arsenal every where he worked.

9) Match/ Opponent- 5/10

There’s no doubt that Dragon has faced off against the greatest lightweight stars, and well some of the best workers in the last ten years during his career. That is the reason for his score, almost solely, because he hasn’t had any red hot fire feuds that sometimes push a person’s career. He is usually a journey man, meaning he has worked in a number of promotions over his tenure, including AAA, New Japan, CWA, WCW, WWE, and Michinoku Pro, also having a number of matches in his own fed, Toryumon. Even though he has traveled all over the world, and competed against so many varied styles, he never really had a feud that will be remembered.

10) Gutcheck- 7/10

Dragon being a smaller guy, was never going to be a world Champion; at the time, he came into the industry, no one was. Even his own country didn’t see anything in him. But, he never gave up; he journeyed into Mexico and made himself a star. During his time in WCW, he chipped his elbow, an injury that would retire him for four years, but he didn’t sit idly by- he formed his own wrestling company, and opened a training school. When the opportunity came to him to achieve one of his own person goals in wrestling, he jumped on it: a chance to compete in Madison Square Garden and at a Wrestlemania. He joined the WWE in the summer of 2003 and stayed for one year and accomplished those goals. Dragon has had a tremendous love for this sport and it’s very evident in the length of his career.

Final Score: 66
Ranking: Superstar
PO: Thumbs Up

ECW December to Dismember 2006

1) The Hardys vs. MNM – 5 – This was decent. MNM looked a little sloppy, probably due to the fact that they hadn’t tagged together since Judgment Day back in May. Jeff’s sells were really sloppy and lazy and naturally Matt did all the work to carry the team. There were a few cool spots but nothing that was really noteworthy.

2) Balls Mahoney vs. Matt Striker – 2 – Typical TV match. Nothing too notable or interesting here except if you want to see Balls Mahoney chain wrestle. Striker had a picture of himself on the back of his tights and looked utterly ridiculous.

3) The FBI vs. Elijah Burke & Sylvester Terkay – 3 – Decent tag match but in reality was a total squash for Burke and Terkay. I wish FBI would get more TV time.

4) Tommy Dreamer vs. Daivari – 3 – This was probably Dreamer’s best match in the last few months. He bumped good and did his part. Khali got ejected after some interference and Daivari won by pulling the tights. Khali slammed Dreamer on the stage after the match and we move on.

5) Mike Knox & Kelly Kelly vs. Kevin Thorn & Ariel – 1 – I think the rating speaks for itself. Knox walked out on Kelly and the crowd, which had been dead since after the opening match, pulled out razor blades in an attempt to do a mass suicide.

6) Bobby Lashley vs. The Big Show vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Hardcore Holly vs. C.M. Punk vs. Test – Extreme Elimination Chamber Match – 6 – This was different than the other chamber matches in the fact that it had weapons involved. I haven’t seen a chamber match in a while but from what I remember they were pretty dull. This one was pretty crazy though because everyone put forth an effort and the weapons added a lot. The booking, on the other hand, left a lot to be desired. Twice there was one person in the ring when the timer went off and right after RVD got eliminated, you could pretty much tell that Lashley was going to win the belt.

The show as a whole will be forgotten in the grand scheme of things and will probably never be spoken of again in certain circles. The chamber match was a decent capper to an otherwise bland pay-per-view.

Never Hand Over Hall of Fame – Class #1 Comp.

1. Terry Funk vs. Ric Flair – 7
2. Afa, Sika, and Ernie Ladd vs. Andre the Giant, Dusty Rhodes, and Junkyard Dog – 3
3. “Stunning” Steve Austin vs. Brian Pillman – 4
4. Tatsumi Fujinami and Kimura vs. Dos Caras and “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka – 4
5. “Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiasevs. Jake “the Snake” Roberts – 7
6. Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant vs. Heenan’s Family (Bobby “The Brain” Heenan, Nick Bockwinkel, Ken Patera, and Bobby Duncam) – 4
7. Manami Toyota vs. Yamada – 5
8. Owen Hart vs. Savio Vega – 6

This was a DVD compilation made by Jessie to honor the first inaugural class of our Hall of Fame that we recently inducted – let’s see if our picks make us proud. Flair starts off showing besides technical prowess, he could brawl with the best of them, too. It’s a wild match, with a frenzied crowd, and great feel to it. Almost as fun as the match itself, is the aftermath, where Great Muta and Sting get involved, in a sprawling fight that takes place all over the arena. Andre’s six-man tag match was as fantastical as Lord of the Rings, that’s to say, it was completely unbelievable. It resembled a sideshow carnival attraction more than a fight; still, it was nice to see all this talent together at once. Ernie Ladd is an ugly dude, lookling like the African American equivalent of Sloth from The Goonies.

The next match was the first meeting between Pillman and Austin after their highly successful team The Hollywood Blondes fell apart. Sadly, Austin’s performance was benign and flaccid, like a neutered dog’s penis. Pillman carried this match, with his brutal chops and tireless work ethic, but it was ultimately a disappointment. The tag match, from Japan, was a treat to watch, even though it was filled with its own problems. The footage we saw was clipped, yet still, the structuring of the match left much to be desired, and the finish was about as climatic as having sex on the couch only to be interrupted by your visiting grandparents.

Debiase and Roberts worked an immaculate match, as old school as public executions, and a true joy to behold. DiBiaseworked over Jake’s arm, trying to prevent him from later using his signature move, the DDT; while Roberts was busy pulling the crowd into caring about the bout with his masterful selling and psychology. This appeared to be from a house show, so, they weren’t worried about running out of TV time, and gave themselves ample time to tell a satisfying story. Seeing Heenan and his boys, all adorned with yellow hair and embarrassing waistlines, bump all over the place for megastars Hogan and Andre wasn’t a bad way to kill a few minutes.

Manami Toyota was my first pick, personally, into our Hall of Fame. She’s a phenomenal talent, an amazing worker, and has more heart than most who’ve put on a pair of wrestling boots. Here, we were treated to highlights of three matches against Yamada; even though they just gave a taste of the matches themselves, it was enough to get one excited, with Toyota’s breathtaking moonsault on display, and her willingness to absolutely kill herself to get someone else over. The last match I ranked high, because, in its context, it was a throwaway match on a major pay-per-view, Summerslam ‘96. However, Savio and Owen worked hard, and delivered a great little match worthy of more recognition. Especially cool to me, was the finish, seeing the major heel Owen score a clean victory over the fan favorite via a submission, it’s something to this day that’s unquestionably rare.