Monday, October 7, 2013

Grand Masters of Wrestling: First Blood Vol. 1

To read Brian's review of this same DVD from '08 click here!

This DVD advertises the same stuff on the back of the case that was on the Grand Masters DVD I just reviewed. I sure as hell hope it’s not the same thing. I guess it’s not as the menu is different and the highlight reel shows them wrestling inside a tent! Yes, a tent as in a circus tent.

Holy fuck, these backstage interviews with Volkoff and Sheik look like they were shot on an 80’s VHS camcorder in front of a generic USA backdrop. Sheik’s promo is especially interesting since it’s so incoherent and he says “I single leg, take you down, and kick you in the face”.

1. Ace Darling vs. Mr. Motion - 3

This is worse than I thought it would be. This show in on someone’s FRONT LAWN! Yes, as in the front yard of their house with the wrestlers coming out of the front door. Is this some fucking kid’s birthday party or something? There’s no commentary to speak of. Motion has black, blue, and pink tights with white frilly stuff on the bottom and Darling looks even more generic than he did previously. I’m not sure who’s supposed to be the heel or face or even what the story is here. The pace was good and the ring work was decent but nowhere near anything notable.

2. Iron Mike Sharpe vs. The Cheetah Kid - 2

Now we’re watching the action through a fish-eye lens. I swear this was recorded with someone’s home movie camera. I can do a better job of filming a show. Actually, come to think of it, about four years ago, I did! It’s really hard to concentrate on what’s happening as the inept camera operator keeps randomly zooming in and out. Sharpe’s vocal selling is tremendous as always, even though my wife found him “really annoying”. Not sure who the Cheetah Kid is but he’s done nothing but get beat on this whole match. Of course, just as I type that Kid gets in a few nearfalls. Loved Sharpe getting the win the loaded forearm pad. Terrible match but Sharpe by far made this for me.

3. Misty Blue vs. Linda Dallas - 1

Hey! The fish-eye lens is gone! Yaaay! I think the referee needs to go back to kindergarten as he was counting Dallas on the outside of the ring and went from five to seven. I think he missed something. Dallas did a big heel promo to start and her vocal selling makes me think she went to Iron Mike Sharpe’s Sales Academy. I think I’ve heard of these two ladies before but I can’t remember what territory they worked in. Blue got the win with an airplane spin, which was probably the most high impact move of the match. I’d rather watch current divas or knockouts matches instead of seeing these two old haggard broads work each other again.

4. The Iron Sheik vs. Nikolai Volkoff - 2

Well, Volkoff no longer has the Uncle Louis haircut from the last DVD and for some reason seems more motivated. Perhaps this is his house where the show is at? Sheik looks terrible, just wandering around at points and doing nothing but throwing forearms to the back. The chair shots on the floor from both guys were surprisingly stiff which leads to a double count-out and Volkoff nearly assaulting a cop.

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