Monday, April 28, 2008

Grand Masters of Wrestling: First Blood Vol. 1

1. Ace Darling vs. Mr. Motion - 3
2. Iron Mike Sharpe vs. Cheetah Kid - 2
3. Misty Blue vs. Linda Dallas - 1
4. Iron Shiek vs. Nikolai Volkoff - 3

When you run with a group of true purveyors of the art of wrestling, finding something good isn't always as impressive as finding something obscure. Stumbling upon this gem for $1 in a bin at Wal-Mart I believed I had struck gold like the pioneers of the west. This DVD promises over 60 minutes of "Raw" footage--but delivered only 48. It's from a real low-budget independent show, the wrestlers make their entrances coming out of a ivy-covered brick building that looks like something off the set of Dead Poet's Society, walk down a cobblestone path to a big tent where there's a ring set up. There are only about 70 people there, and that's being generous, looking like mostly families. It's also evident that this is the '90's, as there's a proliferation of fluorescent and neon colored windbreakers and other types of apparel. Later, I deducted that this was probably some type of "block party" in some semi-affluent New Jersey suburb.

Ace Darling and Mr. Motion bring the stuff Billy Kidman was imitating in his neighbor's backyard at this time. The opener definitely has the best pace, as Mr. Motion lives up to his name, keeping it moving forward, as well as sporting a mighty fine mullet. I do have to take a shit on the finish, though, as Motion's belly-to-belly suplex looked like a dancing pirouette in mid-air. It was great seeing Iron Mike Sharpe doing the same shtick he did at MSG shows for years. His hair had transformed into a large pompadour and his waistline had shifted like a tectonic plate. Cheetah Kid, for all of his fancy attire, didn't offer up much of anything. This is only watchable due to Sharpe's old school chickenshit heel tactics, begging off, complaining, etc. and for that fact that Mike actually lays in some of his shots. For some odd reason halfway through the match the image looks like the camera operator put a fish eye lens on just for the hell of it.

The women's match was simply awful. Linda Dallas was obscenely gross and annoying. She looked like a bus driver in a leotard, the entire match she was more worried about being vocal than wrestling, by screaming, bitching, and so on. The face, Misty Blue, who the only thing blue about her was varicose veins, got the win with an airplane spin. The main event pitted former partners Nikolai versus the Iron Shiek. Nikolai, donned in his customary Russian attire, was carrying an American flag for cheap face heat. Match was pretty short and ugly, Iron Shiek's once impressive suplexes haven't aged well, and save for a short strike barrage by Volkoff, this was a pile of puke sauce.

Now, the back of my DVD advertised Nikolai versus Bam Bam Bigelow, as well as Iron Shiek versus the Mighty Macabee--neither match was on the disc. However, upon some research, all reviews I've found on this DVD discuss the show advertised on the package. Apparently, Macabee is a famed fencer and not a wrestler, and allegedly has one of the worst matches in recorded history. I would have loved to been able to see that. So, that conundrum aside, for a measly $1 I'd say this is worth at least one spin. The surrealness of seeing the term "house show" taken literally, as this is on someone's front lawn, is worthy of some esteem.


Jessie said...

i would agree that a great match is always a good find, but something none of us has seen is an even better one. this show had problems, in multitude, but the locale brought a diff. look to the show. good discovery.

Geo said...

God this sounded despicable.