Friday, October 21, 2016

3 Matches on TNA One Night Only: Rivals 2

select matches from TNA One Night Only: Rivals 2

8. The Dollhouse (Marti Bell and Jade) vs. The Beautiful People (Madison Rayne and Velvet Sky) - 2

Action starts with all four women in the ring at once. Marti and Jade are seconded by a woman that appears to be wearing one of Ringo Starr's jackets. Rayne leg lariat looked like Daniel Stern slipping on ice in Home Alone. I wonder if Gregory Helms will attend Velvet's inevitable HoF induction ceremony. This Rivals pay-per-view has been one slipshod production and the "rivalry" theme has been given as much thought as Regal determining which flight attendant to piss on. Shortest match on the show thus far. Jade looked the best of the bunch but this was pretty hollow.

9. Jesse Godderz vs. Robbie E - 3

There was some pose-off pre-match that I suffered through. Robbie E probably regretting quitting his gym teacher job. Robbie gets a plancha to the floor in then doubling down on the dangerous dives does a huge crossbody off the top inside the ring but hits nothing but canvas. Collectively this pair is known as The BroMans so maybe this "rivalry" is a friendly competitive one a la the Davey Richards versus Eddie Edwards opener which was a 14 min. snoozefest. The crowd in Bethlehem, PA is rolling out sleeping bags like it's nap time in pre-school. Godderz drives Robbie into the mat with an awkward powerbomb. I watched all 163 min. of American Honey at the theater the other night and barely blinked an eye but sitting through 6 min. of this match felt like an endurance test. Jesse grabs the tights for the cheap win.

10. Mr. Anderson vs. Bram - No Disqualification Match - 4

This aired on 2/5/16 and now 8 months later at least 7 performers from this show aren't on TNA programming anymore including main event focal point Mr. Anderson. Bram was formerly married to WWE superstar Charlotte but domestic battery and false imprisonment charges loomed large and that marriage sizzled out like Ashley Fliehr's brother David's in-ring career. By the way, if you've got a Roku, on the Fight Network channel there's a free preview with lots of videos to watch free of charge including something like 30 or more of these TNA pay-per-views. Pre-match locker room promo with Anderson sees him discussing maybe he should just go home and be a dad. Sick as a dog I attended a TNA iMPACT taping in Cincinnati few years back and the major angle running through the taping was the forthcoming birth of Anderson's twins. Never has domesticity neutered a performer as it did Anderson. We get it -- you've got kids! Now fight! Bram wraps a steel chair around Anderson's head then chucks him into the ring post in an actually really brutal looking spot. Both guys working in almost identical gear: black boots, black knee and elbow pads, and tiny black trunks with green designs. Somewhere in an airpot right now Randy Orton watches this on his phone and laughs at how he ruined Anderson's career. Hilariously dumb spot where Anderson sits up two opened chairs only to get pushed off the top onto them seconds later except he'd pushed them back too far so has to struggle in mid-air to make the ersatz landing. Anderson wins with a Mic Check onto a table that was partially standing but at least Bram dove headfirst into the bump.