1. Adam Rose vs. Jack Swagger - 3
2. Heath Slater vs. Damien Sandow - 2
3. Sasha Banks vs. Becky Lynch - 5
When you regularly watch both Main Event and Superstars you see the same half-dozen guys pop up every episode and have seen them in every pairing imaginable (in fact I wrote about this very match-up previously). Our opener sees two prime suspects of this dilemma. Rose is wearing knee-high pinstriped leggings looking like a Nightmare Before Christmas metrosexual character that never made it past the script stage. Show’s in the UK as evidenced by the gigantic Union Jack flags hanging dourly by the entrance ramp as well as Captain Britain and the Knights of Pendragon sitting in the third row eating stadium nachos. Nice desperation counter belly-to-belly by Jack. Rare Tornado DDT out of the corner by Rose. Then Adam busts out what I’ll call Sweet Tummy Music. Later Rose does an odd diving headbutt from the top. A plus of these shows is the talent seems more comfortable to try new or different things in-ring then you’ll ever see under the stricter confines of the tightly orchestrated Raw. Patriot Lock, also known by cinephiles as the Benjamin Martin Lock, if you’re a Roland Emmerich fan, gets Swagger the win bonus.
Been awhile since Sandow has been on WWE programming. He’s back in hot pink tights and purple knee pads. More of a Lanny Poffo look than his more popular but short-lived “Macho Man” tribute act. Damien dusts off the Cubito Aequet corkscrew elbow. Slater plays a great slimeball millennial mall country/southern rock heel, type of guy who drives a big pick-up truck to fit the bill, seen often in your local WalMart parking lot, acts pompous but is always put in his place when it comes down to scrapping. Sandow wins with a Modified Russian Leg Sweep and threw a few decent clotheslines. Nothing to write home from camp about. Main event pits two ladies in a rematch from an NXT MotY candidate. Sasha is legitimately one of the better heels in the company at this point. Becky should work some sort of LotR gimmick — maybe a cross between something elfin and an archer. Lynch (Becky, not David) gets distracted by Banks’ baddies at ringside leading to Sasha taking over. “It’s a shame Sasha acts the way she does” muses Michael Cole. We’ll politely disagree. Quite a catch I landed Banks in my fantasy league’s draft. Becky takes a nasty apron bump. Don’t start with you women in apron jokes sexists of the world! We ain’t got time for that when the WWE Network just added a bunch of old NWA TV episodes to the streaming collection. Paying the bills and cleaning my palatial estate can wait — I’ve got Tully Blanchard knucklelocks to examine. Nice finishing stretch as Becky checks a strike but Sasha transitions into a double knee backbreaker flowed seamlessly into the Bank Statement crossface for the victory. I enjoy these C-level shows, harkens back to my childhood where I spent far too many Saturday evenings watching WCW Saturday Night from the environs of home with a reassuring paper plate of Pizza Rolls.