Handing Over...

Today marks the end of Never Hand Over.  It's been a very long run.  We watched and reviewed a ton of wrestling.  Like to tip my hat to former NHO staffers Jessie (co-creator) and Adam for all their time and energy.  Lots of late nights sharing laughs spinning discs.  I'll always cherish those like the time we sat through the entire Dusty Rhodes set at my old apartment overnight with a few breaks to run to a gas station to load up on snacks.  Jessie and Adam have both moved on and I'm currently dedicating what tiny amount of free time I have to other projects: namely Review the World 2.0 my blog where I write and produce video looking at all kinds of stuff, food, places, toys, etc. as well as my film blog where I document my ongoing trek through the world of cinema.  Thanks for all of the support over the years.  I thought about handpicking some of my favorite pieces we've published but honestly there's too many to whittle down.  These archives will remain intact indefinitely so please feel free to explore them at your leisure -- lots of quality reading material to sift through and enjoy.

Tony Nese vs. Silas Young

Tony Nese vs. Silas Young - EVOLVE 7: Aries vs. Moxley - 4

Nese brings the abs while Young brings the... flabs.  Just kidding, Silas is in good shape, but his face always seems a bit puffy and red, like he stayed up too late the night before the show having a personal Hou Hsiao-Hsien marathon.  Nese looks like a gym rat guido from Jersey but don't cast him aside on appearances as his in-ring work has nice snap and fluidity.  Neither guy exhibits personality effectively during the bout's short duration but the layout is unalloyed.  Nese looks strong in defeat in his EVOLVE debut controlling the bulk of the offense getting to showcase his arsenal.  Silas' Peejee Waja Plunge scores him the victory though improving his record to 2-1.  On a stacked card featuring nine bouts this could have easily been completely lost during the first hour but they made the most of the brief time given and both guys raised their stock and looked better for it.

Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Taka Michinoku vs. Dean Malenko

Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Taka Michinoku vs. Dean Malenko - WWF Sunday Night Heat 4/23/00 - 6

Nice watching Scotty brawl in a bucket hat.  Fast-paced early inc. Taka getting launched over the top crushing Dean on the floor.  Loved to see Peter Jackson film this match in 48fps.  Dean's always great at small things like floating over on covers.  Not sure why Malenko and Michinoku are both working in cut-off shirts though.  Rare to get a three-way on free TV.  Taka is a bump machine getting hung out to dry on the top rope by Dean then getting knocked off the apron and crashing wildly into the security rail by Scotty.  Hotty does a jumping DDT variant off of the top rope on Taka which was a great, effective, and affecting finish.  Great post-match heel stuff by Dean getting his heat.  I always instruct young workers when unsure live by this motto "Sell, sell, sell!".

Cinnamon Toast Punch #7

Here's a bunch of random matches I've watched that have no relationship to each other at all. Enjoy!

1. Steve Corino, Rick Steiner, & Ricky Landell vs. Team 3-D & Sabu (UWF 6/9/07) - 3

Brian passed the DVD of this particular match on to me a few weeks ago and told me about this random six-man tag on a now six year old indy show from somewhere in Maryland. The heel team is quite the unique squadron. I have no idea who Ricky Landell is but I bet he’s got a nice headlock. Corino’s hair is almost as yellow as my last piss. Bubba looked like he showed up to work hard, in jeans in a t-shirt. Corino’s team is calling themselves “the Extreme Horsemen”. Excuse me while I have a hearty laugh. Lots of mic work and stalling before the opening bell even tolls. Did I just see a kid come in the ring and give Rick Steiner a DX crotch chop? Of course I did. Action seems to be moving at a snail’s pace with the heel team working chinlocks and Steiner flat backing shit and being a generally grumpy person. I bet he’s the kind of guy who yells at kids to stay off his lawn and if they don’t, he probably chases them down the street with pruning shears threatening to cut their ears off. Hot tag to D-Von was about as warm as snow. Team 3-D seemed content just to ge their stuff in and go back and collect a check. Heal team had some of the weakest punches I’ve seen in a while. Landell’s huge windmill forearms to Sabu’s back looked pathetic. Finishing part was chaotic with everybody brawling aimlessly and wandering around like they were lost in a department store looking for bath towels. Team 3-D won with what else, but the 3-D. I was looking forward to this simply because of how unique it looked on paper but there was absolutely nothing here that I could be bothered to watch again.

2. The Hardy Boyz & Eddie Guerrero vs. Dean Malenko, Perry Saturn, & Jerry Lynn (WWF Smackdown 5/17/01) - 4

Saturn has the whole Hogan fu-manchu stache going on and looks ridiculous. Nice to see Jerry get a match on one of the main shows instead of being relegated to B and C-level shows. Liked the brief exchanges between Lynn and Eddie, makes me wish they would have had a singles match together. Saturn busted out a few nice throws early in the match. Eddie worked good as a face in peril. Hardys had their standard double team offense and neither one really had a point where they were highlighted individually. The story here seemed just to focus on Eddie and Saturn with the other four guys as afterthoughts. Finishing sequence going to the “Lasso from El Paso” submission was nice. Was sort of hoping for more out of this but I’m feeling generous so I’ll give a bonus point just based on the talent involved.

3. Ricky Steamboat vs. Swede Hanson (NWA World Wide Wrestling - Sometime from 1979) - 5

This match is ancient, not as ancient as Swede Hanson, but ancient nonetheless. The announcer says that Steamboat’s nickname is “Hawaiian Punch”, wonder if that’s where the drink came from. I somehow doubt it. Don’t let Hanson’s paisley colored ring attire and Sid Eudy-esque blond curly hair fool you, he’s one mean bastard as evidenced by some stiff forearm smashes that rained down upon Steamboat. Crazy moment where Steamboat took this wild and awesome bump by doing a handstand on the buckle after getting whipped into the corner and then taking a faceplant straight to the floor. Hanson just brutalizes Steamboat throughout the majority of this but Steamboat fights back with some hard chops of his own and quick offense. Even though this was only about six minutes long, I really enjoyed this.

4. Meng & Kurasawa vs. Sting & Road Warrior Hawk (WCW Clash of the Champions 8/4/95) - 3

Sting and Hawk seem like such a strange team. I can’t remember exactly off the top of my head who Kurasawa is but he wailed on Hawk pretty good during the opening melee. Wait, Meng is managed by Col. Parker? I thought he was a member of the Dungeon of Doom? Kurasawa did the awesome move grabbing Hawk in a piggy back and just falling straight back on the floor. This match just seems all kinds of clunky and disjointed with Sting and Meng just running in and doing whatever they please with the referee just standing around and shrugging his shoulders. Doomsday Device attempt was fucking terrible and Hawk looked like a giant slob throughout the whole match. Kurasawa was probably the MVP of this thing as he came across as a real bad-ass.

Randy Starr vs. Van Hammer

Randy Starr vs. Van Hammer - WCW Saturday Night 3/28/92 - 4

This is a really overlooked squash gem.  Starr looked like the a guy you'd always see at the neighborhood connivence store wearing a faded NASCAR shirt buying chewing tobacco and Mountain Dew.  If Sid got to work a marquee match at a WrestleMania how come Van Hammer never ended up filling out a makeshift Survivor Series team?  He deserved that much.  An early clothesline nearly ripped Starr's mullet covered head off.  Hammer busts out a butterfly suplex which never ceases to amaze me (even though I've watched this match at least a dozen times the past few years).  A backdrop nearly ends Randy's days of walking.  "Hammer Rocks" suplex (a renamed version of Blanchard's famed slingshot suplex) ends this treat.  Jim Ross talks up a musical/wrestling challenge by JT Southern who is known more infamously online as the guy Kazuo Yamazaki publicly humiliated in UWFi by kicking his leg into hamburger and demoralizing him badly enough to leave the country.  This is Hammer's 8th best career match.

Cena & Hardy vs. Umaga & JBL

Umaga and John "Bradshaw" Layfield vs. John Cena and Jeff Hardy - WWE Raw 5/26/08 - 5

Cena and JBL start off for their respective teams but Bradshaw tucks tail and tags out.  Umaga is monstrous -- he looks like a Power Rangers Megaforce villain.  Umaga destroyed JC with a spinning side slam.  Hardy tried to spingboard into the ring and Umaga swatted him like a fly forcing him to splat on the floor.  Heel control segment is snug and keeps the crowd riled up.  Don't think JBL and Hardy matched up a lot in their careers but their stuff together here is top-notch with Hardy really making all of Layfield's stuff look hurty.  Cena makes it look like every time Umaga clubs him its rupturing his kidney.  JBL is able to escape the Swanton Bomb then hits a (slightly mistimed) Clothesline from Wall Street to decapitate Jeff and score the win.  This was a real fun tag sprint with the faces working hard to put the heels over as dangerous.

Other stuff I've enjoyed recently:

MVP vs. Batista - WWE SmackDown! 5/22/08

May be World Wrestling Entertainment's best answer to Misawa vs. Kawada 6/3/94.  

Sabu and  Team 3D vs. Rick Steiner, Ricky Landell, and Steve Corino - UWF-TNA All Star Night In Maryland 6/9/2007

Great moment when grumpy Steiner exhibited anomie and agitation with Sabu on the outside and angrily threw a chair in his face.

BJ Whitmer and Dan Maff vs. Carnage Crew

BJ Whitmer and Dan Maff vs. Carnage Crew - ROH Testing the Limit - 4

To get myself prepared for journeying to Cincinnati to see Ring of Honor live next weekend I thought I'd pop in one of the random 300+ (!) full-length shows of theirs I have in my collection.  Testing the Limit is known for its 74+ min. 2 out of 3 falls classic with Aries versus Danielson but what of its undercard?  CC starts off dominant making it a brawl but its not long until Maff is doing a big boy tope causing more damage than Hurricane Sandy.  Whitmer takes a great bump into the metal security barriers followed by a competent wincing sell.  Lots of chops being dished out around ringside.  This was supposed to be a regular rules match but they're just letting them fight -- I'm not even sure I ever heard a bell.  Loc counters a Burning Hammer by Maff into a Saito Suplex in a nice sequence.  BJ's got a nice backslide.  Who knew?  Loc gets dumped on his skull by a nasty Whitmer suplex which starts a marathon strand of random suplexes and throws by all involved including Devito depositing BJ into the turnbuckles nastily.  Maff gets crotched on the top rope thanks to Allison Danger which leads to a spike piledriver by the CC for the victory.  This was a lot of a fun for a sub-10 min. tag brawl -- no real noteworthy bumps worth recording into your ledger (i.e. that crusty notebook at your bedside where you've record thoughts on WWE TV since 2003).  Next match on the DVD is a four-way feat. 2 Cold Scorpio so I'm about to go watch that and get ready for tonight's season premiere of Community.