Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Davey Richards - FIP Heatstroke '07 Night Two - 5
Davey gets criticized a lot for not knowing his mechanics in-ring and being a veritable Dynamic Kid clone. An aspect of his work I think has been overlooked is his ability to rile up a crowd. On his way to the ring he calls one kid a bastard, another young boy tries to reach his hand over the rail for a high five and Richards hastily kicks at it. Hotty is the complete opposite, slapping hands incessantly on the way down, making sure to give the children their moment. This is easily one of the loudest FIP crowds I've heard. Richards bumps for a Scotty shove like a torrential wind just blew him away--hope he had insurance. Richards is reveling in the crowd heat, the old school heel reaction he's receiving here rivals even his loudest ROH reaction. I think I'd rather be working for passionate kids and families than middle-aged comic book nerds that won't pop for anything for the same reason they didn't attend dances and other social gatherings. Scotty removes his shirt to a molten reaction. They go to tie-up but a loud "Scotty! Scotty!" chant distracts Richards who bails to the floor to jaw with the kids in the crowd. In this environment I could see Richards being the perfect fit for The York Foundation had he been around back then, give him some Buddy Holly glasses, a golf shit, and a pocket calculator and he'd have been a nice pairing with Terrence Taylor in tag bouts. Davey stooging for Scotty's goofy offense is somehow much more satisfying then him playing tough working Tyler Black in a fifteen-minute derivative throwaway bout. You've really got to see this as its remarkable how over 2 Hotty is. This is actively better than anything in the Malenko/2 Hotty series in 2000, not so much a compliment to Richards' work, but to the maturity and timing of Scotty in-front of a drastically different crowd. Davey retreats, trying to leave through a curtain but Hotty spins him around and belts him in the face with a couple right hands. Davey finally gets the advantage, beating Scotty into the ring and stomping him upon entering. After a knee to his mid-section Hotty does a really great job of selling anguish on the mat. Scotty reverses a "Camel Clutch" by biting Davey's hand, the same hand that alternately rewinds a Benoit VHS comp. on his 12-inch Panasonic and yanks his manhood. Davey's chinlock is less than convincing. Davey does a snap suplex, Scotty thinks, "I've had your idol's and it was much crisper". Scotty does this real wild flying clotheslines that'd be ideal in CMLL. Could a Scotty 2 Hotty world tour be what this business needs? After seeing this I know I'd pay to see him work Jun Akiyama. A ref bump sees Erick Stevens run out, he tosses Davey with a huge German suplex, but Richards scrambles to get into position for the next spot without even selling any damage. Scotty capitalizes on a downed Davey and hits his patented "Worm" for the finish. Without the crowd heat you couldn't call this much of a match, but, this had an old school energy that was palpable and Scotty worked much better in this context and setting than he did on the big stage in WWE. I also enjoyed Davey more as a stooging, impatient heel; with better timing, I think that might be his calling, but instead we're generally supposed to buy him as a colossal ass-beater.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
WrestleMania XIX
the rundown continues in Seattle.......no McDreamy's here
1) Matt Hardy v. Rey Mysterio - 6
2) Undertaker/ Nathan Jones v. Big Show/ A-Train- 4
3) Victoria v. Jazz v. Trish Stratus- 5
4) Team Angle v. Los Guerreros v. Chris Benoit/ Rhyno- 5
5) Shawn Michaels v. Chris Jericho- 7
6) HHH v. Booker T- 6
7) Hulk Hogan v. Vince McMahon (Street Fight)- 4
8) Steve Austin v. The Rock- 6
9) Kurt Angle v. Brock Lesnar- 6
For a 6 minute match, you really couldn't ask for much more than this. Really creative and fluid spots using both guys signature moves, abbreviated version of much better paced match later on in the year. Matt hurts his shoulder but forgets to sell it 3 seconds later, much like promises to fans at an autograph signing of showing up to a high school party later that night. A nasty twist of Fate blows me off my couch and Matt's crazy face afterwards shows way more depth than Skeet Ulrich ever has. It sucks it was so quick, but I can't not recommend this one for a fun spot fest.
This in actuality is a handicap match as Jones was taken out earlier in the locker room......hmm, will he be back? Train takes a huge chokeslam right off the bat but is okay again after 20 seconds. Cool leapfrog from Taker but follow up hiptoss was unsightly, much like Show's physique and naughty one piece slipping down his shoulder. He looked like a buffoon in this one, waiting for moves and punches constantly, falling awkwardly over the top rope like a blind rhino careening down a ravine. He sells pain very well, with loud brutish screams. Show's best contribution was an abdominal stretch but Train does one seconds later and gets it more over with the crowd. Taker playing around with some armbars is a fun visual, especially since he's wearing leather pants. Jones Does come back, oh my, I"m shocked and throws a spin kick not seen since "Double Impact" that ko's Show in the aisle. Good riddance, someone throw a giant diaper around that turd. Ref also allows Jones to freely interfere in the match, not sure why. Think Taker v. Train singles would have been much better.
Jazz has an elegant float on her dropkick, much like the Princess did on her jump in Mario 2. Trish's punches have missed the mark, but she takes a lovely apron bump. Victoria kind of a non-factor here, except for the ocasional big move (slingshot legdrop, super kick). Jazz is running this match, loved her intensity leading up to a slap to the champ. Highly skilled backbridge by Trish, so many thoughts running through my head at that point. Jazz's double chicken wing was Steamboat-esque and that's high regards. Match finished well and the slop was left in the locker room along with the Miller Lite Catfight girls and their shitty acting in promos.
I loved the death stares Team Angle were giving to their opponents on the way to the ring, with the hoods over their heads, looked like evil Jedi warriors. Benoit and Eddie dominate all the portions of this that worked, no surprise. Benoit, as he was known for, brings the sickening chops and constant covers after his crisp moves. Saw little to no teamwork with him and Rhyno though, whose only pop of the match was 2 gore's. Whole match had an issue with using sloppy punching and brawling as transitions to their planned moves, resembled a local show with overweight hacks in Tulsa. Huge Germans to Chavo but hated how he didn't sell them instead made a timely tag on one of the travels back. Eddie hit a Frog splash uglier than Melissa Rivers at the end, elbows first, as if trying to avoid a belly flop into a community swimming pool.
Jericho, character wise, is totally in the zone here, way so more than Shawn, who's laughing to himself and making silly jokes. Opening is easy going stuff, but at least they didn't wait for applause, ECW style after a simple headlock routine. Both guys very vocal in everything they do, helps connect the match to the large crowd, but not a fan of either man's strikes, be it Shawn's wussy punches or Jericho's lazy forearms. The spot with the Walls of Jericho (and before hand, Michaels trying a suicide dropkick in the aisle) are mind-numbingly stupid. The match stays technical instead of degenerating into a brawl, which is refreshing. I like Shawn's spit sell, albeit hygenically disgusting, it just looks real unless he does it too much in one match. I'm not a fan of the "copying moves" routine but it works for the story here, Announcers are really hitting a stride with being excited as the match builds up. Shawn is off and on with selling, showing the cumulative pain on his face is here and there. They do a good job of coming up with nearfalls that don't kill all their top shelf stuff too, common atrocity most wrestlers commit. The superplex reversal looked painful but fans don't buy it as a finish. Whole place comes unglued for the superkick, good close out to quite a unusual WM match: clean wrestling.
I liked this match because it was different, but I could see how it wouldn't click with the general audience. Tremendous job building Booker as a worthy challenger and cool backstory. Both men come in bringing the heat, Trips with solid straight punches and Booker with wild streetfighting swipes. Armdrag off the top rope for no reason 2 mins. in? That's a Dealbreaker! The Game's kicks look flimsy, as if he was going to stick a rock on the ground, but his spinebuster must have made Arn do a slow clap in the back. Booker hits an awesome kick as Trips comes off the top rope, really great timing and his selling is personal, very vocal, and sympathetic, he plays underdog well. Here is HHH's famous Indian Deathlock that Jim Ross blows him for, as if he was the greatest technical wrestler of all time. It's basically an upside down Trailer Hitch that Knoble used for years, it comes off like it's a secret weapon that helps him win. Flair didn't do much here, but was good in his role. Insert classic JR line here, as Lawler notes Flair was trying to "help" Booker back in the ring when he dropped him knee first on the steel stairs: "Help him back in the ring? That excuse hasn't worked since 1982!" The finish is unique because there's no Finisher 2.9 section the finisher just works, which helps the move (which needs no help) but hurts the loser.
20 years in the making, brotha- So was the new Star Wars trilogy, but does that mean it still should have been attempted? I'll let you be the judge of that one. Onto the work, Vince can barely run the ropes, so they quickly avoid that pothole. Hogan actually made Vince's lariat look credible, and that alone is enough of a reward coming out of this. I liked Vince driving his knees into Hogan's arm, you need no skill to pull it off, but it's vile, very Dick Slater, although not in execution. Hulk looks more worn than an old armchair, but can connect with a crowd like no other. God, Vince is a nasty looking freak, he pulls an obvious bladespot as Hogan creams his yellow and red jeans blasting Vince's overblown back and shoulders with a chair. Vince is better on D than Hogan, a ridiculous ladder spot that was nauseating in it's overindulgence but came off well. I was just waiting for the garbage can lids because if you're in a blood feud in wrestling, that's what you want to tear your rival's head off with! Nope, it's a generic looking pipe this time. Creepy Camera shot of bloody freak Vince coming up from outside and I"m even scared. Piper gets a massive, no I mean Massive, fuck that, MASSIVE, pop for his surprise appearance. I liked the 3 legdrop finish, not a lot of meat to this, no surprise, but fun nonetheless, Shane O Mac gets a payday by walking out and doing nothing, was he planning on leaving the company here or was he waiting for Dad to croak? Only his bruised and mentally raped pysche will ever know. I have a feeling Shane knows exactly how the Balloon Boy feels.....
Opening of this titanic struggle is a throwback to the old "Attitude" days with the sloppy ringside brawl, it's pretty passe by this point, but I guess revamping it was part of the nostalgia in this match. It is Austin's last professional match and for that reason there's some sentimentality here, even though he doesn't have the same intensity he once did and moves more sluggish than ever before. Rock is on, antagonizing the crowd, overselling like a mother fucker and just being this charismatic beacon of attention. He attacks the knee, which he's not known for, and it shows because it all leads to a sharpshooter, which in actuality is more back based. Double clothesline worked, even though that's from a different era. When they start hitting finishers, you see a real magic between them, because it's all about hitting their big spots and involving the crowd and what they're doing. No one past the 3rd row could see Austin's weak swipes in that opening brawl so no one could connect to what they were doing but the finishing stuff is gold. I loved Rocks' reaction after the 2nd kickout of the Rock Bottom, better than anything he did in Doom.
Tazz mentions Tito Ortiz is watching this match, why and who cares? Lesnar having a hard time towing the line between when to use pro wrestling holds and amateur ones in the opening sequence, which is fun because when would you ever have two wrestlers of their caliber allowed to do work like this, esp. in WWE at Wrestlemania. Both guys have great explosion on their moves, duh. Brock takes a German in the buckle and bounces off of it like he was Super Dave, gave the move some impact. Kurt's bow and arrow hold, while experly applied, seemed like it only made Brock uncomfortable, like he was sitting on the remote control on his loveseat at home, no real pain displayed on his face. He gets such huge air on taking Germans, he had a wild uncontrollable and untrained aspect that was fun to watch. Finish is just so unbelievably flat after missing that Shooting Star and killing half his brain cells, no risk, no reward but man that was a total crash and burn. Still guy has balls for trying that. Angle led him through the new finish but a lot of steam was gone after that.
Overall this was a pretty good show, it had a very cinematic quality to it, the arena was lit perfectly and the setup was grandiose. The whole 2nd half of the card was treated as main events themselves, all getting over 20 minutes and pulled off reasonably well.
XIX= 54%
XIII= 49%
XIV= 44%
VIII= 43%
II= 43%
XVII= 43%
X= 42%
XII= 40%
III= 39%
XVIII= 39%
VII= 34%
IV= 34%
V= 34%
XI= 34%
IX= 33%
I= 32%
VI= 32%
XVI= 30%
XV= 29%
1) Matt Hardy v. Rey Mysterio - 6
2) Undertaker/ Nathan Jones v. Big Show/ A-Train- 4
3) Victoria v. Jazz v. Trish Stratus- 5
4) Team Angle v. Los Guerreros v. Chris Benoit/ Rhyno- 5
5) Shawn Michaels v. Chris Jericho- 7
6) HHH v. Booker T- 6
7) Hulk Hogan v. Vince McMahon (Street Fight)- 4
8) Steve Austin v. The Rock- 6
9) Kurt Angle v. Brock Lesnar- 6
For a 6 minute match, you really couldn't ask for much more than this. Really creative and fluid spots using both guys signature moves, abbreviated version of much better paced match later on in the year. Matt hurts his shoulder but forgets to sell it 3 seconds later, much like promises to fans at an autograph signing of showing up to a high school party later that night. A nasty twist of Fate blows me off my couch and Matt's crazy face afterwards shows way more depth than Skeet Ulrich ever has. It sucks it was so quick, but I can't not recommend this one for a fun spot fest.
This in actuality is a handicap match as Jones was taken out earlier in the locker room......hmm, will he be back? Train takes a huge chokeslam right off the bat but is okay again after 20 seconds. Cool leapfrog from Taker but follow up hiptoss was unsightly, much like Show's physique and naughty one piece slipping down his shoulder. He looked like a buffoon in this one, waiting for moves and punches constantly, falling awkwardly over the top rope like a blind rhino careening down a ravine. He sells pain very well, with loud brutish screams. Show's best contribution was an abdominal stretch but Train does one seconds later and gets it more over with the crowd. Taker playing around with some armbars is a fun visual, especially since he's wearing leather pants. Jones Does come back, oh my, I"m shocked and throws a spin kick not seen since "Double Impact" that ko's Show in the aisle. Good riddance, someone throw a giant diaper around that turd. Ref also allows Jones to freely interfere in the match, not sure why. Think Taker v. Train singles would have been much better.
Jazz has an elegant float on her dropkick, much like the Princess did on her jump in Mario 2. Trish's punches have missed the mark, but she takes a lovely apron bump. Victoria kind of a non-factor here, except for the ocasional big move (slingshot legdrop, super kick). Jazz is running this match, loved her intensity leading up to a slap to the champ. Highly skilled backbridge by Trish, so many thoughts running through my head at that point. Jazz's double chicken wing was Steamboat-esque and that's high regards. Match finished well and the slop was left in the locker room along with the Miller Lite Catfight girls and their shitty acting in promos.
I loved the death stares Team Angle were giving to their opponents on the way to the ring, with the hoods over their heads, looked like evil Jedi warriors. Benoit and Eddie dominate all the portions of this that worked, no surprise. Benoit, as he was known for, brings the sickening chops and constant covers after his crisp moves. Saw little to no teamwork with him and Rhyno though, whose only pop of the match was 2 gore's. Whole match had an issue with using sloppy punching and brawling as transitions to their planned moves, resembled a local show with overweight hacks in Tulsa. Huge Germans to Chavo but hated how he didn't sell them instead made a timely tag on one of the travels back. Eddie hit a Frog splash uglier than Melissa Rivers at the end, elbows first, as if trying to avoid a belly flop into a community swimming pool.
Jericho, character wise, is totally in the zone here, way so more than Shawn, who's laughing to himself and making silly jokes. Opening is easy going stuff, but at least they didn't wait for applause, ECW style after a simple headlock routine. Both guys very vocal in everything they do, helps connect the match to the large crowd, but not a fan of either man's strikes, be it Shawn's wussy punches or Jericho's lazy forearms. The spot with the Walls of Jericho (and before hand, Michaels trying a suicide dropkick in the aisle) are mind-numbingly stupid. The match stays technical instead of degenerating into a brawl, which is refreshing. I like Shawn's spit sell, albeit hygenically disgusting, it just looks real unless he does it too much in one match. I'm not a fan of the "copying moves" routine but it works for the story here, Announcers are really hitting a stride with being excited as the match builds up. Shawn is off and on with selling, showing the cumulative pain on his face is here and there. They do a good job of coming up with nearfalls that don't kill all their top shelf stuff too, common atrocity most wrestlers commit. The superplex reversal looked painful but fans don't buy it as a finish. Whole place comes unglued for the superkick, good close out to quite a unusual WM match: clean wrestling.
I liked this match because it was different, but I could see how it wouldn't click with the general audience. Tremendous job building Booker as a worthy challenger and cool backstory. Both men come in bringing the heat, Trips with solid straight punches and Booker with wild streetfighting swipes. Armdrag off the top rope for no reason 2 mins. in? That's a Dealbreaker! The Game's kicks look flimsy, as if he was going to stick a rock on the ground, but his spinebuster must have made Arn do a slow clap in the back. Booker hits an awesome kick as Trips comes off the top rope, really great timing and his selling is personal, very vocal, and sympathetic, he plays underdog well. Here is HHH's famous Indian Deathlock that Jim Ross blows him for, as if he was the greatest technical wrestler of all time. It's basically an upside down Trailer Hitch that Knoble used for years, it comes off like it's a secret weapon that helps him win. Flair didn't do much here, but was good in his role. Insert classic JR line here, as Lawler notes Flair was trying to "help" Booker back in the ring when he dropped him knee first on the steel stairs: "Help him back in the ring? That excuse hasn't worked since 1982!" The finish is unique because there's no Finisher 2.9 section the finisher just works, which helps the move (which needs no help) but hurts the loser.
20 years in the making, brotha- So was the new Star Wars trilogy, but does that mean it still should have been attempted? I'll let you be the judge of that one. Onto the work, Vince can barely run the ropes, so they quickly avoid that pothole. Hogan actually made Vince's lariat look credible, and that alone is enough of a reward coming out of this. I liked Vince driving his knees into Hogan's arm, you need no skill to pull it off, but it's vile, very Dick Slater, although not in execution. Hulk looks more worn than an old armchair, but can connect with a crowd like no other. God, Vince is a nasty looking freak, he pulls an obvious bladespot as Hogan creams his yellow and red jeans blasting Vince's overblown back and shoulders with a chair. Vince is better on D than Hogan, a ridiculous ladder spot that was nauseating in it's overindulgence but came off well. I was just waiting for the garbage can lids because if you're in a blood feud in wrestling, that's what you want to tear your rival's head off with! Nope, it's a generic looking pipe this time. Creepy Camera shot of bloody freak Vince coming up from outside and I"m even scared. Piper gets a massive, no I mean Massive, fuck that, MASSIVE, pop for his surprise appearance. I liked the 3 legdrop finish, not a lot of meat to this, no surprise, but fun nonetheless, Shane O Mac gets a payday by walking out and doing nothing, was he planning on leaving the company here or was he waiting for Dad to croak? Only his bruised and mentally raped pysche will ever know. I have a feeling Shane knows exactly how the Balloon Boy feels.....
Opening of this titanic struggle is a throwback to the old "Attitude" days with the sloppy ringside brawl, it's pretty passe by this point, but I guess revamping it was part of the nostalgia in this match. It is Austin's last professional match and for that reason there's some sentimentality here, even though he doesn't have the same intensity he once did and moves more sluggish than ever before. Rock is on, antagonizing the crowd, overselling like a mother fucker and just being this charismatic beacon of attention. He attacks the knee, which he's not known for, and it shows because it all leads to a sharpshooter, which in actuality is more back based. Double clothesline worked, even though that's from a different era. When they start hitting finishers, you see a real magic between them, because it's all about hitting their big spots and involving the crowd and what they're doing. No one past the 3rd row could see Austin's weak swipes in that opening brawl so no one could connect to what they were doing but the finishing stuff is gold. I loved Rocks' reaction after the 2nd kickout of the Rock Bottom, better than anything he did in Doom.
Tazz mentions Tito Ortiz is watching this match, why and who cares? Lesnar having a hard time towing the line between when to use pro wrestling holds and amateur ones in the opening sequence, which is fun because when would you ever have two wrestlers of their caliber allowed to do work like this, esp. in WWE at Wrestlemania. Both guys have great explosion on their moves, duh. Brock takes a German in the buckle and bounces off of it like he was Super Dave, gave the move some impact. Kurt's bow and arrow hold, while experly applied, seemed like it only made Brock uncomfortable, like he was sitting on the remote control on his loveseat at home, no real pain displayed on his face. He gets such huge air on taking Germans, he had a wild uncontrollable and untrained aspect that was fun to watch. Finish is just so unbelievably flat after missing that Shooting Star and killing half his brain cells, no risk, no reward but man that was a total crash and burn. Still guy has balls for trying that. Angle led him through the new finish but a lot of steam was gone after that.
Overall this was a pretty good show, it had a very cinematic quality to it, the arena was lit perfectly and the setup was grandiose. The whole 2nd half of the card was treated as main events themselves, all getting over 20 minutes and pulled off reasonably well.
XIX= 54%
XIII= 49%
XIV= 44%
VIII= 43%
II= 43%
XVII= 43%
X= 42%
XII= 40%
III= 39%
XVIII= 39%
VII= 34%
IV= 34%
V= 34%
XI= 34%
IX= 33%
I= 32%
VI= 32%
XVI= 30%
XV= 29%
Friday, November 20, 2009
The Rise and Fall of WCW - Part 3
The Rock N Roll Express vs. The Midnight Express (Wrestle War ’90, 2/25/90) – 5
Lot of stalling and comedy in the first part of this one. Cornette and the referee did a spot where it looked like they were going to have a fight and both of them played their roles well in it. Terry Funk was on commentary for this and came across as somewhat annoying in parts. First thing you hear from him is where he’s trying to sing. Ew. There were numerous legal man issues throughout the match, not so much in the second part but the first part was totally littered with them. The second part of the match was really good with an extended, but very standard, face in peril sequence. Morton and Eaton had a nice punching exchange, or, as my notes said “blonde mullets exchange punches”, and then took a brutal powerslam on the floor by Stan Lane. The Midnights worked over Morton’s arm and shoulder really good for most of the face in peril sequence that I mentioned above. Lane’s punches and karate-type strikes were passable. Gibson got the hot tag and cleaned house and got the pin with a very sloppy looking roll-up. The second part kept this from getting a lower score but there are RnR/Midnight matches from the late-80s that are better.
The Midnight Express vs. The Southern Boys (Great American Bash ’90, 7/7/90) – 7
Brian pimped this match back when he reviewed this particular show, so I was anxious to watch it. Southern Boys started off hot by tossing the Midnights around the ring. I’m not used to seeing Smothers this “faaarred up”, as they would say in the south. Lane and Smothers had a spot where they did karate on each other that was pretty interesting. Smothers does the face in peril role well but nowhere near as good as Ricky Morton, but he did take a few hellacious bumps into the railing. The nearfalls had the crowd on their feet. Armstrong came in and cleaned house on the hot tag. A switcheroo from the Southern Boys got a very close nearfall and a loud reaction from the crowd. The crowd was definitely in favor of the Midnights as the Dixie-flag waving Southern Boys weren’t loved by the Notherners in Baltimore. Lane busted out a nice enziguri at the end that led into the roll-up pin. Wait, this ended with a roll-up? Hmmm, don’t think I like that. Fantastic match otherwise.
The Steiner Brothers vs. Lex Luger & Sting (SuperBrawl, 5/19/91) – 7
The first time I saw this match, I thought it was overhyped but it has since grown on me. A rare face vs. face match-up for the WCW tag team titles, here. The crowd was hot for all four guys, especially for Sting. Luger and Rick started off with a nice exchange that Luger seemed to control. Sting tagged in and hit a super swank dive which got the crowd on their feet. Not much selling in this one, just hard-hitting move after hard-hitting move. I just realized that all four of these guys were still in WCW in 2001 at that three of them were on the final WCW pay-per-view. Sting barely hit a dropkick off the top rope that Rick sold like crazy by taking a wild, hard bump into the opposite turnbuckle. Nikita Koloff ran down for interference to attack Luger but Sting took the hit for his teammate. All four guys went balls out in a wild 12-minute match.
Sting vs. Vader (Great American Bash ’92, 7/12/92) – 7
A while back I reviewed the Sting/Vader bloodbath from SuperBrawl III and this match, their first pay-per-view meeting, is equally as good. Sting was the WCW champion going into this and Vader had been running rampant through the promotion with Harley Race at his side. Sting is a great punching bag for Vader. He sells everything so well that you fear Vader could polish him off at anytime. Vader controlled almost the entire match, except for brief moments where Sting was able to fight back on defense. Vader took a wild bump over the top rope and smashed up against the rail. While watching this, you will notice that Jesse Ventura’s commentary has been edited out by the crack WWE production staff. There was a nice tease of Vader winning with Sting’s own submission hold. Sting managed to get off a few corner splashes off late in the match until he hit his head on the metal turnbuckle bolt. Vader then quickly finished him off with a powerbomb. Great match that set the stage for the wild matches they would have in the future.
Lot of stalling and comedy in the first part of this one. Cornette and the referee did a spot where it looked like they were going to have a fight and both of them played their roles well in it. Terry Funk was on commentary for this and came across as somewhat annoying in parts. First thing you hear from him is where he’s trying to sing. Ew. There were numerous legal man issues throughout the match, not so much in the second part but the first part was totally littered with them. The second part of the match was really good with an extended, but very standard, face in peril sequence. Morton and Eaton had a nice punching exchange, or, as my notes said “blonde mullets exchange punches”, and then took a brutal powerslam on the floor by Stan Lane. The Midnights worked over Morton’s arm and shoulder really good for most of the face in peril sequence that I mentioned above. Lane’s punches and karate-type strikes were passable. Gibson got the hot tag and cleaned house and got the pin with a very sloppy looking roll-up. The second part kept this from getting a lower score but there are RnR/Midnight matches from the late-80s that are better.
The Midnight Express vs. The Southern Boys (Great American Bash ’90, 7/7/90) – 7
Brian pimped this match back when he reviewed this particular show, so I was anxious to watch it. Southern Boys started off hot by tossing the Midnights around the ring. I’m not used to seeing Smothers this “faaarred up”, as they would say in the south. Lane and Smothers had a spot where they did karate on each other that was pretty interesting. Smothers does the face in peril role well but nowhere near as good as Ricky Morton, but he did take a few hellacious bumps into the railing. The nearfalls had the crowd on their feet. Armstrong came in and cleaned house on the hot tag. A switcheroo from the Southern Boys got a very close nearfall and a loud reaction from the crowd. The crowd was definitely in favor of the Midnights as the Dixie-flag waving Southern Boys weren’t loved by the Notherners in Baltimore. Lane busted out a nice enziguri at the end that led into the roll-up pin. Wait, this ended with a roll-up? Hmmm, don’t think I like that. Fantastic match otherwise.
The Steiner Brothers vs. Lex Luger & Sting (SuperBrawl, 5/19/91) – 7
The first time I saw this match, I thought it was overhyped but it has since grown on me. A rare face vs. face match-up for the WCW tag team titles, here. The crowd was hot for all four guys, especially for Sting. Luger and Rick started off with a nice exchange that Luger seemed to control. Sting tagged in and hit a super swank dive which got the crowd on their feet. Not much selling in this one, just hard-hitting move after hard-hitting move. I just realized that all four of these guys were still in WCW in 2001 at that three of them were on the final WCW pay-per-view. Sting barely hit a dropkick off the top rope that Rick sold like crazy by taking a wild, hard bump into the opposite turnbuckle. Nikita Koloff ran down for interference to attack Luger but Sting took the hit for his teammate. All four guys went balls out in a wild 12-minute match.
Sting vs. Vader (Great American Bash ’92, 7/12/92) – 7
A while back I reviewed the Sting/Vader bloodbath from SuperBrawl III and this match, their first pay-per-view meeting, is equally as good. Sting was the WCW champion going into this and Vader had been running rampant through the promotion with Harley Race at his side. Sting is a great punching bag for Vader. He sells everything so well that you fear Vader could polish him off at anytime. Vader controlled almost the entire match, except for brief moments where Sting was able to fight back on defense. Vader took a wild bump over the top rope and smashed up against the rail. While watching this, you will notice that Jesse Ventura’s commentary has been edited out by the crack WWE production staff. There was a nice tease of Vader winning with Sting’s own submission hold. Sting managed to get off a few corner splashes off late in the match until he hit his head on the metal turnbuckle bolt. Vader then quickly finished him off with a powerbomb. Great match that set the stage for the wild matches they would have in the future.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
TNA Turning Point '09 co-review
1. Homicide vs. Amazing Red - B:5 A:5
Brian: It starts off quick and Homicide hops out of the ring and shoves Don West's inept ass out of the way. Red does a hurricanrana off the apron and Homicide sells it like someone poured cold water down his back. A Mikey Whipwreck reference on commentary? What flea market is he selling dragon statues at I wonder? Red does an awesome sell on a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Don West at ringside is ridiculous, yelling, "fight through the pain!" relentlessly. Homicide works good when playing the bully, unfortunately in TNA he's too small to really pull that role off against anyone except Red. The absolutely giant "SHOPTNA" banner in the background screams desperation. I can see a child now, "I want some toys, a football, and a 3Live Kru DVD!" I don't know how big Red would get over elsewhere, but Orlando crowd is popping huge for all of his stuff. Homicide hits a "Bronx Bomber #27" which is a Michinoku Driver #2 and it looks sick. Red does a moonsault from the top and Homicide catches him in mid-air with a "187", his cutter-variation (I prefer Susumu Yokosuka's) but the timing doesn't synch up well. A fast-paced match with some good nearfalls and action, definitely a suitable opener.
Adam: This was a hard fought match and each guy looked good. Red’s flippy offense works good in front of the Orlando crowd but I’m not sure that it would work well in ROH or any place else for that matter.. On commentary, Mikey Whipwreck and Abdullah the Butcher are referenced in the same sentence. Why? Being trained by Mikey isn’t something that I would be particularly proud of this day in age. I wasn’t buying Homicide as anything more than a generic heel. Homicide tried to intercept Red off the top turnbuckle in mid-move and attempt a cutter-type move but it doesn’t come off well. Don West was a focal point of the match early on with his crazy yellng and cheerleading for Red. I heard Mike Tenay say that Homicide hit a “Bronx Bomber” and my first thought was that he finished off a whole giant pizza with pepperoni, sausage, mushrooms, onions, green peppers, and black olives. (That’s a Dewey’s Pizza reference for those of you that don’t get it.) There are a bunch of dorks in the front row popping for everything. The “Code Red” move to finish was kind of cool but the X-Division guys are treading water in this spot and don’t seem to be going anywhere fast.
2. The Beautiful People vs. ODB, Taylor Wilde, and Sarita - B:1 A:3
Brian: ODB drops a headbutt in-between Velvet Sky's legs and she sells it like she just opened an unmarked envelope containing a nude photo of Dave Meltzer. Watching Lacey works makes one really miss the days of Angelina Love. This is so bad I want to pull a Theresa Duncan, too bad I don't have any champagne handy to wash down this pills with. A huge "You can't wrestle!" chant directed at Von Erich--maybe this Orlando crowd isn't all bad! Tenay compares Velvet to Antonio Inoki. He deserves to get slapped like a bitch by Inoki like Machida did when he bombed in his debut. I liked ODB in OVW but this isn't cutting it. Things break down, it ends mercifully and I weep wishing Hamada could have gotten on the show instead.
Adam: O.D.B. does a muff dive right at the beginning … let’s hope she doesn’t get some rancid flesh-eating disease on her face from that. Then again, it might make her look a bit better. Madison Rayne looked the best out of any of the Beautiful People tandem. Lacey gets very minimal ring time, maybe 30 seconds worth and the whole arena is chanting “you can’t wrestle” at her. Velvet Sky hits the ropes with a frightening look on her face like she’ll get Swine Flu from touching the ropes. O.D.B. fought out of a 3-on-1 spot to win the match for her team. This was better than the matches of the previous two months but still nowhere near good.
3. Beer Money, Inc. vs. British Invasion vs. Motor City Machine Guns - B:3 A:3
Brian: Either Tenay really thinks Taz is a funny guy, or, he's getting worse than Michael Cole on scripted laughter. This starts off quite nicely, with Storm taking it rather physically to the Brits, than Shelley and Roode working a nice section together. Sabin enters and he's like the bean sprouts on top of a warm bowl of Phở, they don't really add anything, but usually don't ruin the dish either. I guess the Machine Guns have been watching some KroniK matches, as they busted out "High Times". Magnus looks like an idiot feeding himself to Storm's clotheslines. I wonder if Sabin watches UFO Hunters? He used to rock those trunks with the dumb alien head on the ass--looked like a patch my stoner brother would have had on his backpack circa '97. A bunch of far too genial stuff, a series of spot after spot, doesn't evoke any hate or feel like a fight, just the Brits doing physical comedy like they're auditioning for a vaudeville show. I'd like to see Rob Terry in blackface. Shelley and Sabin disappear for the last several minutes of the match. Young and Nash both come out, get involved, there's a swerve, and this is officially an overbooked mess.
Adam: I thought this was going along pretty good until the Machine Guns totally disappeared from the match. From there, it was legal man issues until the end of the match with the ref standing there looking like a blind man trying to direct traffic at the corner of 5th and Vine in downtown Cincinnati. Speaking of the Guns, their double team moves looked pretty cool, at least better than the other guys in the match. Beer Money did their typical pose while the Brits just laid in the ring dead. The final part was totally devoid of anything resembling a tag match with the participants entering the match at will and the Brits and Beer Money just doing double team moves to one another. Eric Young interferes and chases James Storm from the ring. Why? So Nash comes out then, takes the Legends … um, Global title belt and then whacks Storm? Ok, I’m confused. Doug Williams almost misses the elbow from the top rope in a bland finish to a bland match.
4. Tara vs. Awesome Kong - Six Sides of Steel Match - B:5 A:6
Brian: The girls start with the best strike exchange thus far on the show. I wonder if Kim Couture could through a better worked punch than Kong? I also wonder what her thoughts were on Randy's portrayal of Sargon. Kong busts out a missile dropkick from the top! Kong sandwiches Tara against the cage than jumps into her after a running start. Tara sells it like she saw a ghost. Kong suplexes her into the cage then drops her with no regard. They've actually used the cage to elevate the violent aspect of their feud. Both stand on the top rope and end up getting crotched, they then exchange strikes while straddling the rope in a nice moment. Tara powerbombs Kong off of the turnbuckles in a spectacular spot. Tara tries leaving, decides against it, then leaps off the top onto Kong. They called it a "crossbody" but it looked a lot more like a "Thesz Press", albeit a gigantic one. This was quite good, they used the cage effectively, and the ending felt appropriate. I'd have liked it more if they'd given it some more time.
Adam: Women in cages … it’s not just for the grindhouse anymore! Ok, I’ll admit, this was a hell of a lot of fun to watch. These two just beat the shit out of each other. Kong’s missile dropkick was totally cool. She also swings Tara headfirst into the cage. One thing that I did notice about the cage is that it’s really, really close to the ropes and there is hardly any room to bounce off them. They had to do a spot twice where Kong suplexed Tara into the cage. The first time, she totally dropped her by accident but they got it right the second time. I liked them exchanging strikes on the top rope. Damn, that powerbomb from Tara was awesome. Wait, what, a fucking Thesz press from the top of the cage? Holy shit! Tara got really emotional after the win and made it feel special. Tara calls out O.D.B. afterward, so if this was the only match of the feud, why was it in a cage? I’m not complaining though, this was probably the best women’s cage match I’ve seen in a long time.
5. Team 3-D and Rhino vs. D'Angelo Dinero, Matt Morgan, and Hernandez - B:1 A:2
Brian: Hernandez sells D-Von's opening strikes like he just got woke up from sleeping on the couch because his mother was vacuuming. Hernandez also blows his one bit of offense in that segment, falling on his ass during a shoulder block. Damn! Dinero does a double-leg takedown on Brother Ray that'd make Gleison Tibau envious. I guess that'd make Ray be Jason Dent. D'Angelo's backhand is awesome. Dinero sells a "Bubba Bomb" like a newbie getting introduced to the boys at the county jail. Anybody feel like Rhino has been the same, exact thing since '98? Like, literally, has he changed up or added anything to his repertoire? Wait, another swerve? Now come on, Russo, you rancid farm animal phallus! This is falling apart faster than the speed of stupidity. So, Dinero knocked his partner Hernandez out of the ring, now we're back to rest spots? The crowd is losing interest faster than a homeless man with a blindfold made of a douche watching a screening of Dance Flick. They promised him a hot meal if he'd fill out a comment card. Rhino runs face-first into several Morgan punches. Hernandez doing just basic stuff looks as awkward as a girl trying to hula hoop with her father's casket. I really wish this'd end. It seems so directionless that I'm actually disorientated watching it.
Adam: I’m not sure why a mid-card Impact match made in on pay-per-view. Tenay played up the fact that Pope might turn on his teammates but that idea was quickly dropped. I’ve already soured on Hernandez’s singles run and he’s got a stupid gimmick. Come on, really, “Super Mex” is the best you could come up with? Rhino and Team 3-D are so rancid and stale that they need to be in a landfill and not in a wrestling ring. Does anybody else find it amazing that Rhino has made a career out of doing nothing since 2001? Awful give-away by Morgan where he is clearly starting at Brother Ray on the outside of the ring while attempting a pinfall. Dinero was the glue that held this jumbled mess somewhat together. Without him, this match would’ve been almost completely unwatchable. Just a month ago, Morgan was in one of the marquee matches at TNA’s biggest show of the year, now he’s relegated to mid-card status in a throwaway six-man. D-Von gets off a terrible chair shot behin the referee’s back and Rhino hits a gore to end this lethargic laugh-fest of a match.
6. Bobby Lashley vs. Scott Steiner - Falls Count Anywhere, No DQ Match - B:3 A:2
Brian: This starts off in the aisle and Steiner takes nasty bump into some chairs. Lashley runs right into Scott's boot in the corner even though Steiner was holding his foot up there for like ten seconds. Maybe Lashley had his sights elsewhere, like maybe Scott Coker was in the crowd holding a sign saying, "Get the hell out of here!" Steiner is trying to set-up a "Frankensteiner" from the top but looks like a bear mauling a human who fell into a honey pit. Lashley hoists Scott up and drops him stomach-first on the top rope, Steiner lands uglily and bounces out to the floor. They brawl to the back where there's a convenient array of props awaiting them. A guy harasses his wife and Bobby gets vengeance by hitting him with a 2x4 made of cardboard? They brawl towards the Spanish commentators and Steiner hits Lashley with a pipe to end this. This felt like a truncated, wimpy-version of what should have been a hell of a street fight. I'm not sure why you'd put Steiner over anybody these days either.
Adam: On paper, Steiner vs. Lashley sounds like a match where two guys are going to throw down and trade some hard shots. Well that wasn’t the case here. Frankensteiner almost killed Lashley and then they brawl to the back. Of course they would! Do you really think a falls count anywhere match would stay in the ring? Odd moment where they cut to a new camera backstage and Steiner is bleeding. How the hell did that happen? Randomly, there are some tables sitting in the back and Lashley puts Steiner through one very sloppily. Steiner retaliates and throws Lashley onto a pile of wood and casually strolls back into the arena. This is bad. These two are moving slower than the Carbon Glacier on Mount Ranier. A pipe shot ends this pile of dogshit and Steiner pins Lashley clean. Yes, you read that right. Steiner just pinned Lashley clean in a falls count anywhere match. Ten bucks says Lashley pops up on the next Strikeforce CBS special, any takers?
7. Desmond Wolfe vs. Kurt Angle - B:7 A:7
Brian: So, allegedly Russo came up with the name Desmond Wolfe after doing a Google search. I wonder if that was before or after he downloaded videos of German girls eating turds? Russo's wife is calling him into the dining room for dinner, Vince responds, "Honey, I'll be there in the a minute, I'm trying to finish this clip of Katarina gurgling this Bolsheviks' diarherra!" I wonder how these two guys would have worked this match in ROH, or anywhere else, for that matter. Wolfe starts off with some work on the arm, Angle is game to sell early, getting in some acting practice in preparation for his future career. "Kurt, thanks for coming for this audition, we're going to need you to act upset and give us some tears." "Do you guys have a Hardcore Holly?" "Wait, what? No. Just act." "Could somebody at least hit me with a chair? Something?" I'm hoping we get a Wolfe and Brutus Beefcake feud in 2010. Taz drops Billy Robinson's name and I guess I'll accept that. Even though it feels different than the bulk of the product the crowd seems to be into it thus far with several appreciative chants. Desmond eats multiple German suplexes and I'm wondering if he's concussed or not yet. Taz mentions something about the last time he saw somebody do that many suplexes in succession, but trails off, I'm guessing that was a subtle Benoit reference? Kurt counters the "Tower of London" by landing on his feet and nailing an "Angle Slam". I thought Angle was doing some real amazing stuff selling facially, then figured he was probably just remembering foreplay with Trenesha Biggers. "Call me Karen!" "Oh, alright--call me Hunter?" Kurt gets some huge air on a "Frog Splash". The finishing sequence was real nice, a series of "Tombstone Piledriver" reversals, playing up the drama of Angle's bad neck, Kurt rolled out into an ankle lock, transitioned it into a side triangle choke and got the submission. I thought this was really good, not great, though. I don't feel it was the right crowd to work a classic for, and they didn't, but that aside, everything was executed solidly and Desmond still liked good in defeat.
Adam: This was exactly the way it should’ve been. It started off with a feeling out process and built from there to a nice creshendo. Wolfe was working over Kurt’s arm the entire match with keylocks and his trademark London Dungeon hold. Kurt hits six Germans suplexes right in a row and the crowd loves it. Kurt tries a frogsplash to no avail as the match builds to it’s finish. Wolfe goes back to the arm and applies another London Dungeon hold, this time putting his knee in Kurt’s back for additional leverage. I dug the reversals on the mat work with Wolfe reversing an ankle lock into an armbar. The anguish on Wolfe’s face when he was in the ankle lock was tremendous. There’s a tombstone reversal sequence at the end that was real cool. Kurt locks in an ill side triangle choke for the win. An ROH crowd would’ve eaten this match up but the regular Orlando cretins were more concerned about their precious little smark chants of “this-is-wrestling”. I’d say this would rank at least in the top 10 TNA matches of the year.
8. Daniels vs. AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe - B:7 A:6
Brian: The first segment seems destined to get Styles some credibility coming in as champion, he's been booked terribly, but looks good laying in some strikes and getting the best of both men early. Joe crushes Daniels' head with a running high knee--made Triple H's look flaccid. The last time these three worked together four years ago many championed it as one of the best matches in TNA history. I'm not keen to handing over. So far, so average, with Joe laying on the mat waiting patiently for Daniels to slam AJ onto him. It's hard to do a match like this without being too showy, I'd suggest they ratchet up the brutality. Joe dropkicks Styles while simultaneously landing a senton on Daniels. AJ is a guy who, if you've never seen him live, really does have some vicious strikes; here, he lays some great forearms into Daniels' face in the corner. Daniels does a dive onto Joe but overshoots it and gets mostly concrete. AJ busts out a "Fosbury flop", or, running "Shooting Star Press" over the ropes as Joe has Daniels in a rear-naked choke on the floor wiping them both out. I think all of them were in agreement beforehand to work stiff. Even Daniels, who's usually looser than Stephanie McMahon, is trying to make his stuff look nasty. Some of the spots are too contrived, like, you can imagine them rehearsing this stuff in Joe's garage after a lunch of pork tacos. I liked the striking sequence where everyone was drilling each other, especially Joe warming up their faces' with tons of open-hand slaps. Somebody should get Samoa Joe a bra for Christmas. This is the second TNA pay-per-view in a row that AJ has botched his aerial finish. Daniels hit the "Best Moonsault Ever" on Joe, then Styles did a springboard 450 onto them, but it didn't look real good, they were positioned too close and all that landed was Styles' knees on Daniels' back. Overall, I'd call this a really "good" match, possibly "very good" depending on your familiarity with their stuff, but definitely not something to herald as great. They kept a good pace, the physicality and athleticism was there, but it seems like they've done this now, and did it again, and that's about as much mileage as they're going to get out of it.
Adam: Ok, so this was pimped as the re-match of the “best TNA match ever” from four years ago. This went from move to move to move without any real selling or storytelling. Joe seemed like he was back to his old ass-kicking ways. Maybe somebody offered him some free burrito coupons if he put forth a good effort. A.J. busts out the Fosbury Flop move that he hasn’t used in years. Daniels got in his usual stuff like the B.M.E. and a bunch of “judo takedowns” as they were called on commentary. A.J. really helped this match get over the hump thanks to the effort he put forth when he was getting his stuff off. Some nice three-man spots but nothing that hasn’t been seen or done before on low-level indys in the northeast. I really didn’t like the finishing sequence with Joe laying on the match like a beached whale after Daniels got off an STO. A moonsault from Daniels onto Joe is followed up by a springboard 450 from A.J.. that he overshoots and drills Daniels in the back with his knees. A.J. celebrates with Daniels talking shit while backing up the ramp and Tenay and Taz jiz their pants over what they’ve just seen. While this was fun, it felt forced in spots and these three have done much better against each other. If your not familiar with their stuff, this is a good starting point, but if you know their stuff well, you can probably take a pass. Overall, three matches on this show broke the recommendable barrier and saved this from being an utter disaster.
Brian: It starts off quick and Homicide hops out of the ring and shoves Don West's inept ass out of the way. Red does a hurricanrana off the apron and Homicide sells it like someone poured cold water down his back. A Mikey Whipwreck reference on commentary? What flea market is he selling dragon statues at I wonder? Red does an awesome sell on a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Don West at ringside is ridiculous, yelling, "fight through the pain!" relentlessly. Homicide works good when playing the bully, unfortunately in TNA he's too small to really pull that role off against anyone except Red. The absolutely giant "SHOPTNA" banner in the background screams desperation. I can see a child now, "I want some toys, a football, and a 3Live Kru DVD!" I don't know how big Red would get over elsewhere, but Orlando crowd is popping huge for all of his stuff. Homicide hits a "Bronx Bomber #27" which is a Michinoku Driver #2 and it looks sick. Red does a moonsault from the top and Homicide catches him in mid-air with a "187", his cutter-variation (I prefer Susumu Yokosuka's) but the timing doesn't synch up well. A fast-paced match with some good nearfalls and action, definitely a suitable opener.
Adam: This was a hard fought match and each guy looked good. Red’s flippy offense works good in front of the Orlando crowd but I’m not sure that it would work well in ROH or any place else for that matter.. On commentary, Mikey Whipwreck and Abdullah the Butcher are referenced in the same sentence. Why? Being trained by Mikey isn’t something that I would be particularly proud of this day in age. I wasn’t buying Homicide as anything more than a generic heel. Homicide tried to intercept Red off the top turnbuckle in mid-move and attempt a cutter-type move but it doesn’t come off well. Don West was a focal point of the match early on with his crazy yellng and cheerleading for Red. I heard Mike Tenay say that Homicide hit a “Bronx Bomber” and my first thought was that he finished off a whole giant pizza with pepperoni, sausage, mushrooms, onions, green peppers, and black olives. (That’s a Dewey’s Pizza reference for those of you that don’t get it.) There are a bunch of dorks in the front row popping for everything. The “Code Red” move to finish was kind of cool but the X-Division guys are treading water in this spot and don’t seem to be going anywhere fast.
2. The Beautiful People vs. ODB, Taylor Wilde, and Sarita - B:1 A:3
Brian: ODB drops a headbutt in-between Velvet Sky's legs and she sells it like she just opened an unmarked envelope containing a nude photo of Dave Meltzer. Watching Lacey works makes one really miss the days of Angelina Love. This is so bad I want to pull a Theresa Duncan, too bad I don't have any champagne handy to wash down this pills with. A huge "You can't wrestle!" chant directed at Von Erich--maybe this Orlando crowd isn't all bad! Tenay compares Velvet to Antonio Inoki. He deserves to get slapped like a bitch by Inoki like Machida did when he bombed in his debut. I liked ODB in OVW but this isn't cutting it. Things break down, it ends mercifully and I weep wishing Hamada could have gotten on the show instead.
Adam: O.D.B. does a muff dive right at the beginning … let’s hope she doesn’t get some rancid flesh-eating disease on her face from that. Then again, it might make her look a bit better. Madison Rayne looked the best out of any of the Beautiful People tandem. Lacey gets very minimal ring time, maybe 30 seconds worth and the whole arena is chanting “you can’t wrestle” at her. Velvet Sky hits the ropes with a frightening look on her face like she’ll get Swine Flu from touching the ropes. O.D.B. fought out of a 3-on-1 spot to win the match for her team. This was better than the matches of the previous two months but still nowhere near good.
3. Beer Money, Inc. vs. British Invasion vs. Motor City Machine Guns - B:3 A:3
Brian: Either Tenay really thinks Taz is a funny guy, or, he's getting worse than Michael Cole on scripted laughter. This starts off quite nicely, with Storm taking it rather physically to the Brits, than Shelley and Roode working a nice section together. Sabin enters and he's like the bean sprouts on top of a warm bowl of Phở, they don't really add anything, but usually don't ruin the dish either. I guess the Machine Guns have been watching some KroniK matches, as they busted out "High Times". Magnus looks like an idiot feeding himself to Storm's clotheslines. I wonder if Sabin watches UFO Hunters? He used to rock those trunks with the dumb alien head on the ass--looked like a patch my stoner brother would have had on his backpack circa '97. A bunch of far too genial stuff, a series of spot after spot, doesn't evoke any hate or feel like a fight, just the Brits doing physical comedy like they're auditioning for a vaudeville show. I'd like to see Rob Terry in blackface. Shelley and Sabin disappear for the last several minutes of the match. Young and Nash both come out, get involved, there's a swerve, and this is officially an overbooked mess.
Adam: I thought this was going along pretty good until the Machine Guns totally disappeared from the match. From there, it was legal man issues until the end of the match with the ref standing there looking like a blind man trying to direct traffic at the corner of 5th and Vine in downtown Cincinnati. Speaking of the Guns, their double team moves looked pretty cool, at least better than the other guys in the match. Beer Money did their typical pose while the Brits just laid in the ring dead. The final part was totally devoid of anything resembling a tag match with the participants entering the match at will and the Brits and Beer Money just doing double team moves to one another. Eric Young interferes and chases James Storm from the ring. Why? So Nash comes out then, takes the Legends … um, Global title belt and then whacks Storm? Ok, I’m confused. Doug Williams almost misses the elbow from the top rope in a bland finish to a bland match.
4. Tara vs. Awesome Kong - Six Sides of Steel Match - B:5 A:6
Brian: The girls start with the best strike exchange thus far on the show. I wonder if Kim Couture could through a better worked punch than Kong? I also wonder what her thoughts were on Randy's portrayal of Sargon. Kong busts out a missile dropkick from the top! Kong sandwiches Tara against the cage than jumps into her after a running start. Tara sells it like she saw a ghost. Kong suplexes her into the cage then drops her with no regard. They've actually used the cage to elevate the violent aspect of their feud. Both stand on the top rope and end up getting crotched, they then exchange strikes while straddling the rope in a nice moment. Tara powerbombs Kong off of the turnbuckles in a spectacular spot. Tara tries leaving, decides against it, then leaps off the top onto Kong. They called it a "crossbody" but it looked a lot more like a "Thesz Press", albeit a gigantic one. This was quite good, they used the cage effectively, and the ending felt appropriate. I'd have liked it more if they'd given it some more time.
Adam: Women in cages … it’s not just for the grindhouse anymore! Ok, I’ll admit, this was a hell of a lot of fun to watch. These two just beat the shit out of each other. Kong’s missile dropkick was totally cool. She also swings Tara headfirst into the cage. One thing that I did notice about the cage is that it’s really, really close to the ropes and there is hardly any room to bounce off them. They had to do a spot twice where Kong suplexed Tara into the cage. The first time, she totally dropped her by accident but they got it right the second time. I liked them exchanging strikes on the top rope. Damn, that powerbomb from Tara was awesome. Wait, what, a fucking Thesz press from the top of the cage? Holy shit! Tara got really emotional after the win and made it feel special. Tara calls out O.D.B. afterward, so if this was the only match of the feud, why was it in a cage? I’m not complaining though, this was probably the best women’s cage match I’ve seen in a long time.
5. Team 3-D and Rhino vs. D'Angelo Dinero, Matt Morgan, and Hernandez - B:1 A:2
Brian: Hernandez sells D-Von's opening strikes like he just got woke up from sleeping on the couch because his mother was vacuuming. Hernandez also blows his one bit of offense in that segment, falling on his ass during a shoulder block. Damn! Dinero does a double-leg takedown on Brother Ray that'd make Gleison Tibau envious. I guess that'd make Ray be Jason Dent. D'Angelo's backhand is awesome. Dinero sells a "Bubba Bomb" like a newbie getting introduced to the boys at the county jail. Anybody feel like Rhino has been the same, exact thing since '98? Like, literally, has he changed up or added anything to his repertoire? Wait, another swerve? Now come on, Russo, you rancid farm animal phallus! This is falling apart faster than the speed of stupidity. So, Dinero knocked his partner Hernandez out of the ring, now we're back to rest spots? The crowd is losing interest faster than a homeless man with a blindfold made of a douche watching a screening of Dance Flick. They promised him a hot meal if he'd fill out a comment card. Rhino runs face-first into several Morgan punches. Hernandez doing just basic stuff looks as awkward as a girl trying to hula hoop with her father's casket. I really wish this'd end. It seems so directionless that I'm actually disorientated watching it.
Adam: I’m not sure why a mid-card Impact match made in on pay-per-view. Tenay played up the fact that Pope might turn on his teammates but that idea was quickly dropped. I’ve already soured on Hernandez’s singles run and he’s got a stupid gimmick. Come on, really, “Super Mex” is the best you could come up with? Rhino and Team 3-D are so rancid and stale that they need to be in a landfill and not in a wrestling ring. Does anybody else find it amazing that Rhino has made a career out of doing nothing since 2001? Awful give-away by Morgan where he is clearly starting at Brother Ray on the outside of the ring while attempting a pinfall. Dinero was the glue that held this jumbled mess somewhat together. Without him, this match would’ve been almost completely unwatchable. Just a month ago, Morgan was in one of the marquee matches at TNA’s biggest show of the year, now he’s relegated to mid-card status in a throwaway six-man. D-Von gets off a terrible chair shot behin the referee’s back and Rhino hits a gore to end this lethargic laugh-fest of a match.
6. Bobby Lashley vs. Scott Steiner - Falls Count Anywhere, No DQ Match - B:3 A:2
Brian: This starts off in the aisle and Steiner takes nasty bump into some chairs. Lashley runs right into Scott's boot in the corner even though Steiner was holding his foot up there for like ten seconds. Maybe Lashley had his sights elsewhere, like maybe Scott Coker was in the crowd holding a sign saying, "Get the hell out of here!" Steiner is trying to set-up a "Frankensteiner" from the top but looks like a bear mauling a human who fell into a honey pit. Lashley hoists Scott up and drops him stomach-first on the top rope, Steiner lands uglily and bounces out to the floor. They brawl to the back where there's a convenient array of props awaiting them. A guy harasses his wife and Bobby gets vengeance by hitting him with a 2x4 made of cardboard? They brawl towards the Spanish commentators and Steiner hits Lashley with a pipe to end this. This felt like a truncated, wimpy-version of what should have been a hell of a street fight. I'm not sure why you'd put Steiner over anybody these days either.
Adam: On paper, Steiner vs. Lashley sounds like a match where two guys are going to throw down and trade some hard shots. Well that wasn’t the case here. Frankensteiner almost killed Lashley and then they brawl to the back. Of course they would! Do you really think a falls count anywhere match would stay in the ring? Odd moment where they cut to a new camera backstage and Steiner is bleeding. How the hell did that happen? Randomly, there are some tables sitting in the back and Lashley puts Steiner through one very sloppily. Steiner retaliates and throws Lashley onto a pile of wood and casually strolls back into the arena. This is bad. These two are moving slower than the Carbon Glacier on Mount Ranier. A pipe shot ends this pile of dogshit and Steiner pins Lashley clean. Yes, you read that right. Steiner just pinned Lashley clean in a falls count anywhere match. Ten bucks says Lashley pops up on the next Strikeforce CBS special, any takers?
7. Desmond Wolfe vs. Kurt Angle - B:7 A:7
Brian: So, allegedly Russo came up with the name Desmond Wolfe after doing a Google search. I wonder if that was before or after he downloaded videos of German girls eating turds? Russo's wife is calling him into the dining room for dinner, Vince responds, "Honey, I'll be there in the a minute, I'm trying to finish this clip of Katarina gurgling this Bolsheviks' diarherra!" I wonder how these two guys would have worked this match in ROH, or anywhere else, for that matter. Wolfe starts off with some work on the arm, Angle is game to sell early, getting in some acting practice in preparation for his future career. "Kurt, thanks for coming for this audition, we're going to need you to act upset and give us some tears." "Do you guys have a Hardcore Holly?" "Wait, what? No. Just act." "Could somebody at least hit me with a chair? Something?" I'm hoping we get a Wolfe and Brutus Beefcake feud in 2010. Taz drops Billy Robinson's name and I guess I'll accept that. Even though it feels different than the bulk of the product the crowd seems to be into it thus far with several appreciative chants. Desmond eats multiple German suplexes and I'm wondering if he's concussed or not yet. Taz mentions something about the last time he saw somebody do that many suplexes in succession, but trails off, I'm guessing that was a subtle Benoit reference? Kurt counters the "Tower of London" by landing on his feet and nailing an "Angle Slam". I thought Angle was doing some real amazing stuff selling facially, then figured he was probably just remembering foreplay with Trenesha Biggers. "Call me Karen!" "Oh, alright--call me Hunter?" Kurt gets some huge air on a "Frog Splash". The finishing sequence was real nice, a series of "Tombstone Piledriver" reversals, playing up the drama of Angle's bad neck, Kurt rolled out into an ankle lock, transitioned it into a side triangle choke and got the submission. I thought this was really good, not great, though. I don't feel it was the right crowd to work a classic for, and they didn't, but that aside, everything was executed solidly and Desmond still liked good in defeat.
Adam: This was exactly the way it should’ve been. It started off with a feeling out process and built from there to a nice creshendo. Wolfe was working over Kurt’s arm the entire match with keylocks and his trademark London Dungeon hold. Kurt hits six Germans suplexes right in a row and the crowd loves it. Kurt tries a frogsplash to no avail as the match builds to it’s finish. Wolfe goes back to the arm and applies another London Dungeon hold, this time putting his knee in Kurt’s back for additional leverage. I dug the reversals on the mat work with Wolfe reversing an ankle lock into an armbar. The anguish on Wolfe’s face when he was in the ankle lock was tremendous. There’s a tombstone reversal sequence at the end that was real cool. Kurt locks in an ill side triangle choke for the win. An ROH crowd would’ve eaten this match up but the regular Orlando cretins were more concerned about their precious little smark chants of “this-is-wrestling”. I’d say this would rank at least in the top 10 TNA matches of the year.
8. Daniels vs. AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe - B:7 A:6
Brian: The first segment seems destined to get Styles some credibility coming in as champion, he's been booked terribly, but looks good laying in some strikes and getting the best of both men early. Joe crushes Daniels' head with a running high knee--made Triple H's look flaccid. The last time these three worked together four years ago many championed it as one of the best matches in TNA history. I'm not keen to handing over. So far, so average, with Joe laying on the mat waiting patiently for Daniels to slam AJ onto him. It's hard to do a match like this without being too showy, I'd suggest they ratchet up the brutality. Joe dropkicks Styles while simultaneously landing a senton on Daniels. AJ is a guy who, if you've never seen him live, really does have some vicious strikes; here, he lays some great forearms into Daniels' face in the corner. Daniels does a dive onto Joe but overshoots it and gets mostly concrete. AJ busts out a "Fosbury flop", or, running "Shooting Star Press" over the ropes as Joe has Daniels in a rear-naked choke on the floor wiping them both out. I think all of them were in agreement beforehand to work stiff. Even Daniels, who's usually looser than Stephanie McMahon, is trying to make his stuff look nasty. Some of the spots are too contrived, like, you can imagine them rehearsing this stuff in Joe's garage after a lunch of pork tacos. I liked the striking sequence where everyone was drilling each other, especially Joe warming up their faces' with tons of open-hand slaps. Somebody should get Samoa Joe a bra for Christmas. This is the second TNA pay-per-view in a row that AJ has botched his aerial finish. Daniels hit the "Best Moonsault Ever" on Joe, then Styles did a springboard 450 onto them, but it didn't look real good, they were positioned too close and all that landed was Styles' knees on Daniels' back. Overall, I'd call this a really "good" match, possibly "very good" depending on your familiarity with their stuff, but definitely not something to herald as great. They kept a good pace, the physicality and athleticism was there, but it seems like they've done this now, and did it again, and that's about as much mileage as they're going to get out of it.
Adam: Ok, so this was pimped as the re-match of the “best TNA match ever” from four years ago. This went from move to move to move without any real selling or storytelling. Joe seemed like he was back to his old ass-kicking ways. Maybe somebody offered him some free burrito coupons if he put forth a good effort. A.J. busts out the Fosbury Flop move that he hasn’t used in years. Daniels got in his usual stuff like the B.M.E. and a bunch of “judo takedowns” as they were called on commentary. A.J. really helped this match get over the hump thanks to the effort he put forth when he was getting his stuff off. Some nice three-man spots but nothing that hasn’t been seen or done before on low-level indys in the northeast. I really didn’t like the finishing sequence with Joe laying on the match like a beached whale after Daniels got off an STO. A moonsault from Daniels onto Joe is followed up by a springboard 450 from A.J.. that he overshoots and drills Daniels in the back with his knees. A.J. celebrates with Daniels talking shit while backing up the ramp and Tenay and Taz jiz their pants over what they’ve just seen. While this was fun, it felt forced in spots and these three have done much better against each other. If your not familiar with their stuff, this is a good starting point, but if you know their stuff well, you can probably take a pass. Overall, three matches on this show broke the recommendable barrier and saved this from being an utter disaster.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
No Prom Date- Lucky 13 All Tags Edition
I'm stoked to bring you a new edition of No Prom Date and what was better than going stag to that social snorefest that's only memorable if you banged someone who had a great looking senior picture? Going with friends who equally didn't care about the event. I've stated many times how fun and enjoyabe tag team wrestling is and how it's quickly becoming a lost art form. So I'm going to do my part in preserving this awesome match. So remember, Do it in Pairs!!!
1) The Brisco Brothers v. Ricky Steamboat/ Jay Youngblood (NWA Tag Titles, Starrcade 1983)- 6
Match eminates from the first Starrcade, a huge supercard that would continue on for nearly 2 decades. It was fun seeing the Briscos as heels, especially stoic Jack. Their face opposition was poised and highly atheltic, a great mix of styles to watch. Jack's awkward movements always make me wince but there's no doubt he knows what he's doing, i was thrilled to see some fun rope action between he and Dragon. Gerald was scoring big time with his lifters and had so much emotion in his selling it was damn near comical. Steamboat made some great faces too, after going down to a butterfly suplex he looked as if he had just been stabbed with Kryptonite. I was digging Jerry's really over the top bumps on everything but realized he was cushioning his fall with his elbow every time, then I despised it. Youngblood was fine as fuctioning babyface to Steamboat's deeply loved one. The ending was as lame as Jay Leno's new show though, so docked a point.
2) The Outsiders v. Lex Luger/ The Giant (WCW Tag Titles, Saturday Nitro, 06/28/1997)- 4
I watched with curiousity and close Owl-like eyes here. It's a house show but they taped it for TV, match nearly stalled the whole time with Luger in for 90% of the bout. His selling was just a trifle better than terrible, stutter steps after every punch, over dramatic falling to his knees. Nash came in and had to take several deep breaths before starting his offense sequence on Luger, but I liked that he took time with each strike he threw and they all looked subsequently effective. A huge brawl ended this in a DQ, but it never left 2nd gear anyways.
3) Rob Van Dam/ Sabu v. Balls Mahoney/ Axl Rotten (ECW Tag Titles, House Party 1999)- 3
A major clash of styles, I loathed Balls & Axl on defense, both playing the role of giant goon who takes a lot of back shots and barely responds. Axl during the last 3 minutes of the match lies on the ground like freshly bleached roadkill. He executed two good clotheslines and Balls had a fresh superkick but that was it. The match's major high spots were all misdirection, which had me puzzled, like RVD was in the ring with Axl and instead of attacking him, he jumps up on the turnbuckle and somersaults through the crowd on Balls. The ECW faithful were eating it up, like the overpriced chili dogs they got from concession. This was pretty short for a title match and completely unstructured.
4) Jimmy Rave/ Eddie Vegas v. Roderick Strong/ Jerelle Clark (FIP Tag Title- FIP Payback)- 4
This match got some time, which I liked. Vegas and Rave both have that shitheel appeal where they can get under your skin but they toned it down here. Clark was a real shitty excuse for Ricky Morton during his beatdown. Real emotionless but did hold his ribs a few minutes after it was over. Strong's comeback was firing on all cylinders, but explain why you would tag the hurt guy right back in? Legal man issues riddled this afterwards and Clark was completely recovered enough to hit a spree of high risk moves to lead to the finish.
5) The Godwinns v. The Quebecers (WWF No Way Out of Texas 1998)- 4
This wasn't pretty, but neither are sauteed mushrooms and I love those. Is Jacques Rougeau a long lost great worker? His vocal selling and screams of pain showed some seasoning and provided a good emotional factor to go along with this. I was digging Henry and Pierre's spirited arm lock exchange as well. The Godwinns offense again, was as sloppy as what they carry in their buckets, but they had their character down. The finish was uncoordinated as Jacques instead of leaving the ring decided to do a plancha outside, which worked for me. Fun little brawling bout.
5) Ran Yu-Yu & AKINO v. Mayumi Ozaki/ Manami Toyota (OZ Academy 04/12/2009)- 3
Wow, where to begin, first off it's great seeing one of the arguably most gifted wrestlers of the last century (and NHO Hall of Famer) Toyota but looks like she's inevitably aged, wearing designer jeans, a tube top and multi colored hair. Looks more like she's going to a club where glowsticks and lubrication are encouraged. She is still throwing suicide dropkicks off the top too, but you can tell she's lost a step and by the end of this she tires of shenanigans and physically checks out. Ozaki is a poor hardcore wrestler who looks like Annie Lennox, but I love her spinning chop signature move. AKINO looks capable but still green. Yu-Yu is kind of a Latino looking brute, who works best with both women on opposition. It's almost like a half assed lumberjack match because random people are running in the ring constantly. They all do nearfalls really well though, even at times when it shouldn't warrant one. Overall this was a big mess, albeit with a few bright spots, still doesn't add up to much.
6) CIMA/ Sumo Fuji v. Masaachi Mochizuki/ Chocoball Kube (Toryumon TV #7)- 5
This was fun and is all about Crazy Max, the heel group that dominated Toryumon in it's infancy. Fuji is utility here, terrible on defense, but is a fun brawler to watch. CIMA exudes confidence and owns the ring. Dude was so lightning fast, he hits a tope over the rope quicker than Eddie ever dreamed. Mochizuki is a kick man and lays in some lethal ones and Chocoball is just there. Match has a really cool feel ,like a Fan Cam show and the arena is well lit and intimate; the crowd is right at the edge of the ring. Not a terrible match but never really develops into anything more than a show off fest for C-Max.
7) Hayabusa/ Masato Tanaka v. Terry Funk/ Mr. Pogo (Timebomb Death Match)- 5
This is that classic style Death Match with no ropes around the ring, and two sides are covered in electrified barb wire and there are barb wire pits around the ring, set to blow. There's also a timer set to 15:00 that will explode. I know this sounds like an epsiode of "24" but there were actually wrestlers working psych around this. First few minutes is eternally slow build those silly Wile E Coyote "whoa i'm falling into the canyon, no i'm fine" moments. Tanaka pieces Pogo over and over for enjoyment but he ends up being the first guy in the wire, in true Dangan style, chest first going 100 miles an hour. Funk is next, belly first and the explosion resembles a sparkler gone wrong. Pogo carves Tanaka up like the Grinch did the roast beast. How did he get the Abby gimmick taken to the extreme? All he ever had to do was a DDT and sell like King Hippo. Funk has looked old and useless here. Hayabusa sacrifices himself before Pogo douses Tanaka in flames in a ugly bump outside to set off a bomb, which visually looked cool. The crowd and announcers are really hyped too. Sirens go off at the 5 minute mark like someone escaped from prison in a 1950's movie. Hayabusa gets a nearfall with a brutal Falcon's arrow that Pogo wanted no part of but they continue fighting for the payoff. Tanaka being the sick dude he is takes a monster chokeslam into the barb wire and bombs, and Funk's decrepit old ass falls in face first after him in a scary moment. Hayabusa eventually gets beaten after a number of double team powerbombs and even though this was insanely sloppy, the crazy factor was so high. But match like this wears off after 1st viewing.
8) Brian Kendrick/ Paul London v. William Regal/ Dave Taylor (Smackdown Nov 2006)- 4
Fast and furious beginning into a slow middle and slower ending. Opening sequence with brawl outside was refreshing, into methodical beating of London, who didn't offer a lot emotionally. Regal worked the bulk of the match, both on offense and defense, but Taylor looked a lot crisper, on sells and a stellar dropkick. Hated Kendricks' hot tag, just throwing flying kicks with no regards of how they land or look. Finish involved Ashley jealousy angle, but there were plenty of big chested broads with no morals and large bank accounts at that time for Kendrick to pine over. Cool bridging suplex by the Squire for the win.
9) World's Greatest Tag Team v. Billy Kidman/ Rey Mysterio (WWE Tag Titles, Vengeance 03) -7
wow, just wow, wish we could get matches like this every week. More or less an elongated sprint that worked on a lot of levels. First off, the crowd was totally buying everything that happened and riding on every near fall and big spot. The match was worked as old school as horse and buggies. Legal man was always in ring and ref would only count at that point. The misdirected hot tag to Rey with ref ordering him back to the corner was tits, plus Rey got to show that he is the single most redifining wrestler of the last decade or so. Haas with snap jabs that scintillated, Kidman's back bump into the post (although didn't care for his protected bumps) and Rey just completely ruling the world at every moment, the assisted hurricanrana near fall made me change my will and testament and leave everything to Dominic Mysterio, haha. Seek this out.
10) El Hijo del Santo/ Negro Casas v. Taka Michinoku/ Papi Chulo (WWF Super Astros, 04/11/1999)- 5
This was pretty short but a complete dive fest that was so awesome, so it's worth seeing, especially Santo's fluid ring work, even for the bulkiest guy in the ring. Another sprint but another enjoyable one that didn't take itself too seriously, it was almost like a high wire circus act, merely for entertainment and it worked.
11) Kenta Kobashi/ Jun Akiyama v. Mitsuharu Misawa/ Yoshinari Ogawa (All Japan TV, 12/13/1998)- 7
A true knock down drag out affair, everyone played their roles to a tee, with Misawa as the total hero of Japan, kicking out of absolutely everything and still displaying how little he had left to fight with. Ogawa impressed me a lot, showed tons of fire, mobility and a great move set (despite the constant jawbreakers, which kill momentum and pace when everyone else is throwing suplexes and heavy strikes) Misawa's suicidio was a thing of beauty and I wish i could have it play on a small screen on a loop with a golden frame around it in my living room in his honor. Akiyama was just there, they gave him big spots, but I wasn't real thrilled with his role in all this. Kobashi's chops were truly something to be feared when he could actually rotate his elbow 90 degrees, ah the good old days.
1) The Brisco Brothers v. Ricky Steamboat/ Jay Youngblood (NWA Tag Titles, Starrcade 1983)- 6
Match eminates from the first Starrcade, a huge supercard that would continue on for nearly 2 decades. It was fun seeing the Briscos as heels, especially stoic Jack. Their face opposition was poised and highly atheltic, a great mix of styles to watch. Jack's awkward movements always make me wince but there's no doubt he knows what he's doing, i was thrilled to see some fun rope action between he and Dragon. Gerald was scoring big time with his lifters and had so much emotion in his selling it was damn near comical. Steamboat made some great faces too, after going down to a butterfly suplex he looked as if he had just been stabbed with Kryptonite. I was digging Jerry's really over the top bumps on everything but realized he was cushioning his fall with his elbow every time, then I despised it. Youngblood was fine as fuctioning babyface to Steamboat's deeply loved one. The ending was as lame as Jay Leno's new show though, so docked a point.
2) The Outsiders v. Lex Luger/ The Giant (WCW Tag Titles, Saturday Nitro, 06/28/1997)- 4
I watched with curiousity and close Owl-like eyes here. It's a house show but they taped it for TV, match nearly stalled the whole time with Luger in for 90% of the bout. His selling was just a trifle better than terrible, stutter steps after every punch, over dramatic falling to his knees. Nash came in and had to take several deep breaths before starting his offense sequence on Luger, but I liked that he took time with each strike he threw and they all looked subsequently effective. A huge brawl ended this in a DQ, but it never left 2nd gear anyways.
3) Rob Van Dam/ Sabu v. Balls Mahoney/ Axl Rotten (ECW Tag Titles, House Party 1999)- 3
A major clash of styles, I loathed Balls & Axl on defense, both playing the role of giant goon who takes a lot of back shots and barely responds. Axl during the last 3 minutes of the match lies on the ground like freshly bleached roadkill. He executed two good clotheslines and Balls had a fresh superkick but that was it. The match's major high spots were all misdirection, which had me puzzled, like RVD was in the ring with Axl and instead of attacking him, he jumps up on the turnbuckle and somersaults through the crowd on Balls. The ECW faithful were eating it up, like the overpriced chili dogs they got from concession. This was pretty short for a title match and completely unstructured.
4) Jimmy Rave/ Eddie Vegas v. Roderick Strong/ Jerelle Clark (FIP Tag Title- FIP Payback)- 4
This match got some time, which I liked. Vegas and Rave both have that shitheel appeal where they can get under your skin but they toned it down here. Clark was a real shitty excuse for Ricky Morton during his beatdown. Real emotionless but did hold his ribs a few minutes after it was over. Strong's comeback was firing on all cylinders, but explain why you would tag the hurt guy right back in? Legal man issues riddled this afterwards and Clark was completely recovered enough to hit a spree of high risk moves to lead to the finish.
5) The Godwinns v. The Quebecers (WWF No Way Out of Texas 1998)- 4
This wasn't pretty, but neither are sauteed mushrooms and I love those. Is Jacques Rougeau a long lost great worker? His vocal selling and screams of pain showed some seasoning and provided a good emotional factor to go along with this. I was digging Henry and Pierre's spirited arm lock exchange as well. The Godwinns offense again, was as sloppy as what they carry in their buckets, but they had their character down. The finish was uncoordinated as Jacques instead of leaving the ring decided to do a plancha outside, which worked for me. Fun little brawling bout.
5) Ran Yu-Yu & AKINO v. Mayumi Ozaki/ Manami Toyota (OZ Academy 04/12/2009)- 3
Wow, where to begin, first off it's great seeing one of the arguably most gifted wrestlers of the last century (and NHO Hall of Famer) Toyota but looks like she's inevitably aged, wearing designer jeans, a tube top and multi colored hair. Looks more like she's going to a club where glowsticks and lubrication are encouraged. She is still throwing suicide dropkicks off the top too, but you can tell she's lost a step and by the end of this she tires of shenanigans and physically checks out. Ozaki is a poor hardcore wrestler who looks like Annie Lennox, but I love her spinning chop signature move. AKINO looks capable but still green. Yu-Yu is kind of a Latino looking brute, who works best with both women on opposition. It's almost like a half assed lumberjack match because random people are running in the ring constantly. They all do nearfalls really well though, even at times when it shouldn't warrant one. Overall this was a big mess, albeit with a few bright spots, still doesn't add up to much.
6) CIMA/ Sumo Fuji v. Masaachi Mochizuki/ Chocoball Kube (Toryumon TV #7)- 5
This was fun and is all about Crazy Max, the heel group that dominated Toryumon in it's infancy. Fuji is utility here, terrible on defense, but is a fun brawler to watch. CIMA exudes confidence and owns the ring. Dude was so lightning fast, he hits a tope over the rope quicker than Eddie ever dreamed. Mochizuki is a kick man and lays in some lethal ones and Chocoball is just there. Match has a really cool feel ,like a Fan Cam show and the arena is well lit and intimate; the crowd is right at the edge of the ring. Not a terrible match but never really develops into anything more than a show off fest for C-Max.
7) Hayabusa/ Masato Tanaka v. Terry Funk/ Mr. Pogo (Timebomb Death Match)- 5
This is that classic style Death Match with no ropes around the ring, and two sides are covered in electrified barb wire and there are barb wire pits around the ring, set to blow. There's also a timer set to 15:00 that will explode. I know this sounds like an epsiode of "24" but there were actually wrestlers working psych around this. First few minutes is eternally slow build those silly Wile E Coyote "whoa i'm falling into the canyon, no i'm fine" moments. Tanaka pieces Pogo over and over for enjoyment but he ends up being the first guy in the wire, in true Dangan style, chest first going 100 miles an hour. Funk is next, belly first and the explosion resembles a sparkler gone wrong. Pogo carves Tanaka up like the Grinch did the roast beast. How did he get the Abby gimmick taken to the extreme? All he ever had to do was a DDT and sell like King Hippo. Funk has looked old and useless here. Hayabusa sacrifices himself before Pogo douses Tanaka in flames in a ugly bump outside to set off a bomb, which visually looked cool. The crowd and announcers are really hyped too. Sirens go off at the 5 minute mark like someone escaped from prison in a 1950's movie. Hayabusa gets a nearfall with a brutal Falcon's arrow that Pogo wanted no part of but they continue fighting for the payoff. Tanaka being the sick dude he is takes a monster chokeslam into the barb wire and bombs, and Funk's decrepit old ass falls in face first after him in a scary moment. Hayabusa eventually gets beaten after a number of double team powerbombs and even though this was insanely sloppy, the crazy factor was so high. But match like this wears off after 1st viewing.
8) Brian Kendrick/ Paul London v. William Regal/ Dave Taylor (Smackdown Nov 2006)- 4
Fast and furious beginning into a slow middle and slower ending. Opening sequence with brawl outside was refreshing, into methodical beating of London, who didn't offer a lot emotionally. Regal worked the bulk of the match, both on offense and defense, but Taylor looked a lot crisper, on sells and a stellar dropkick. Hated Kendricks' hot tag, just throwing flying kicks with no regards of how they land or look. Finish involved Ashley jealousy angle, but there were plenty of big chested broads with no morals and large bank accounts at that time for Kendrick to pine over. Cool bridging suplex by the Squire for the win.
9) World's Greatest Tag Team v. Billy Kidman/ Rey Mysterio (WWE Tag Titles, Vengeance 03) -7
wow, just wow, wish we could get matches like this every week. More or less an elongated sprint that worked on a lot of levels. First off, the crowd was totally buying everything that happened and riding on every near fall and big spot. The match was worked as old school as horse and buggies. Legal man was always in ring and ref would only count at that point. The misdirected hot tag to Rey with ref ordering him back to the corner was tits, plus Rey got to show that he is the single most redifining wrestler of the last decade or so. Haas with snap jabs that scintillated, Kidman's back bump into the post (although didn't care for his protected bumps) and Rey just completely ruling the world at every moment, the assisted hurricanrana near fall made me change my will and testament and leave everything to Dominic Mysterio, haha. Seek this out.
10) El Hijo del Santo/ Negro Casas v. Taka Michinoku/ Papi Chulo (WWF Super Astros, 04/11/1999)- 5
This was pretty short but a complete dive fest that was so awesome, so it's worth seeing, especially Santo's fluid ring work, even for the bulkiest guy in the ring. Another sprint but another enjoyable one that didn't take itself too seriously, it was almost like a high wire circus act, merely for entertainment and it worked.
11) Kenta Kobashi/ Jun Akiyama v. Mitsuharu Misawa/ Yoshinari Ogawa (All Japan TV, 12/13/1998)- 7
A true knock down drag out affair, everyone played their roles to a tee, with Misawa as the total hero of Japan, kicking out of absolutely everything and still displaying how little he had left to fight with. Ogawa impressed me a lot, showed tons of fire, mobility and a great move set (despite the constant jawbreakers, which kill momentum and pace when everyone else is throwing suplexes and heavy strikes) Misawa's suicidio was a thing of beauty and I wish i could have it play on a small screen on a loop with a golden frame around it in my living room in his honor. Akiyama was just there, they gave him big spots, but I wasn't real thrilled with his role in all this. Kobashi's chops were truly something to be feared when he could actually rotate his elbow 90 degrees, ah the good old days.
Friday, November 13, 2009
WWE The Bash 2009
A few side notes to start off with. First, this show has the honor of receiving the second lowest buyrate of 2009 and one of the lowest buyrates in company history, comparable in recent memory to the December 2006 ECW pay-per-view. Also, the NHO gang and I were on our usual perches at Buffalo Wild Wings when their satellite messed up and they had no good explanation for it. We should’ve taken it as a sign from above but, being blinded by our passion, we made a quick getaway back to the cozy confines of my living room and ordered the show on cable. Will it be better or worse than I remember it? I’m going to erase all previous notions and start from scratch to give it an honest look.
1) Christian vs. Finlay vs. Mark Henry vs. Tommy Dreamer vs. Jack Swagger – Scramble Match – 4
2) Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio – 7
3) The Great Khali vs. Dolph Ziggler – No DQ Match – 3
4) Primo & Carlito vs. Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase vs. Chris Jericho & Edge - 3
5) Melina vs. Michelle McCool - 3
6) C.M. Punk vs. Jeff Hardy - 5
7) John Cena vs. The Miz - 4
8) Randy Orton vs. Triple H – Three Stages of Hell Match - 4
Ok, so the opener was one of those crazy scramble matches that have the rules about interim champions and all that mess. I’ve only seen a few of these matches, none of them were good and neither was this one. Swagger and Christian started off but didn’t seem to have the same magic they had back in the early part of the year. The middle really seemed to drag with Finlay and Dreamer. It seemed as if all four guys were just killing time until Henry hit the ring. There was a giant tower of doom spot which was followed up by a predictable spot where Christian dove onto everyone on the outside. Swagger had some nice clotheslines. All five were on cruise control and the match suffered for it. Plus, there’s whole 20-minute time limit thing which, for a match like this, is way too long. Jericho and Mysterio had a phenomenal match and by far the best match on the show. Damn, these two work so well together. They melded some lucha into the WWE style and it flowed really well. The double springboard by Mysterio was cool but Jericho’s counter of a 6-1-9 into the Walls of Jericho was even better. Jericho tried the same spot from Extreme Rules where he pulled Mysterio’s mask off mid-move but this time, Mysterio had a second mask on. Great match to blowoff the feud with. Dolph bumped around the totally immobile Khali in a good effort for his first singles pay-per-view match. All Khali did was punch and chop and looked worse that usual. Kane interefered at the end and wore out Khali with a chair. Not good at all and a waste of five minutes. Jericho and Edge were thrown into the the tag title match at the last minute, much to the dismay of the original two teams. The entire story of the match was that Legacy and the Colons refused to tag in either Edge or Jericho. Cody busted out a nice back submission on Primo in one of the better spots of the match. I noticed that crowd was not into the match at all and that took a bit away from the match for me. Carlito executed a very sloppy springboard elbow. Edge tagged himself in to get a spear for the win. This really felt like a Raw main event.
Second half started off with a Women’s title match and featured a terrible DDT from Melina about thirty seconds in. McCool worked over Melina’s knee for the majority of the match and Melina was superb at selling it. She even sold it on offense, which isn’t really done a lot today, at least from what I’ve seen. Faithbreaker from McCool gets the win after some Alicia Fox interference. Not really all that great but better that some of the 90 second diva matches on TV every week. Punk and Hardy had a nice pace to it. Jeff crashed into the rail early on when he used the stairs as a springboard. Punk’s strikes were nice and Hardy’s offense was of the standard variety he uses in all of his matches. For the record, I’ve never been sold on Jeff Hardy as a top singles guy. One problem I had was that when Hardy had Punk in a hold, he would try to get the crowd going, instead of working the hold. The good pace came to a screeching halt with the screwy finish. First, Hardy hit the swanton bomb for a three-count. The ref then waved it off after he noticed that Punk’s foot was under the rope. Next, we get an argument between Hardy and the ref, Punk scoops up Hardy for the GTS, and Hardy elbows him in the eye. Punk then kicks the ref. Yeah, it came across as screwed up as it reads. The finish hurt the score but Punk’s selling of the eye afterward was a sight to behold (no pun intended). Cena and Miz was more filler than anything. Miz started off good and worked on Cena’s neck for a bit. Cena was trying to make Miz look credible but it seems like Miz is destined to be nothing more that a high mid-card act. The end was basically Cena squashing Miz with the Attitude Adjustment and the STF. Decent match but didn’t feel like the semi-main of a pay-per-view at all. Now for the main and, Lord almighty, there were some issues here. The show was running way late by this point and they had to condense the first two falls into about five minutes. First fall was your standard HHH/Orton fare until HHH got DQed for using the steps. Thirty seconds later, he pins Orton on the floor with a Pedigree to win the second fall. Third fall was a stretcher match which featured bad crowd brawling, both guys falling off the stretcher by accident, and HHH pulling a sledgehammer out of the stage. Wait, what? Why the fuck was there a sledgehammer in the stage? Rhodes and DiBiase interfere to give Orton the win in a shitty main to cap off a shitty show. Yep, this was just as bad as I remember it.
1) Christian vs. Finlay vs. Mark Henry vs. Tommy Dreamer vs. Jack Swagger – Scramble Match – 4
2) Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio – 7
3) The Great Khali vs. Dolph Ziggler – No DQ Match – 3
4) Primo & Carlito vs. Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase vs. Chris Jericho & Edge - 3
5) Melina vs. Michelle McCool - 3
6) C.M. Punk vs. Jeff Hardy - 5
7) John Cena vs. The Miz - 4
8) Randy Orton vs. Triple H – Three Stages of Hell Match - 4
Ok, so the opener was one of those crazy scramble matches that have the rules about interim champions and all that mess. I’ve only seen a few of these matches, none of them were good and neither was this one. Swagger and Christian started off but didn’t seem to have the same magic they had back in the early part of the year. The middle really seemed to drag with Finlay and Dreamer. It seemed as if all four guys were just killing time until Henry hit the ring. There was a giant tower of doom spot which was followed up by a predictable spot where Christian dove onto everyone on the outside. Swagger had some nice clotheslines. All five were on cruise control and the match suffered for it. Plus, there’s whole 20-minute time limit thing which, for a match like this, is way too long. Jericho and Mysterio had a phenomenal match and by far the best match on the show. Damn, these two work so well together. They melded some lucha into the WWE style and it flowed really well. The double springboard by Mysterio was cool but Jericho’s counter of a 6-1-9 into the Walls of Jericho was even better. Jericho tried the same spot from Extreme Rules where he pulled Mysterio’s mask off mid-move but this time, Mysterio had a second mask on. Great match to blowoff the feud with. Dolph bumped around the totally immobile Khali in a good effort for his first singles pay-per-view match. All Khali did was punch and chop and looked worse that usual. Kane interefered at the end and wore out Khali with a chair. Not good at all and a waste of five minutes. Jericho and Edge were thrown into the the tag title match at the last minute, much to the dismay of the original two teams. The entire story of the match was that Legacy and the Colons refused to tag in either Edge or Jericho. Cody busted out a nice back submission on Primo in one of the better spots of the match. I noticed that crowd was not into the match at all and that took a bit away from the match for me. Carlito executed a very sloppy springboard elbow. Edge tagged himself in to get a spear for the win. This really felt like a Raw main event.
Second half started off with a Women’s title match and featured a terrible DDT from Melina about thirty seconds in. McCool worked over Melina’s knee for the majority of the match and Melina was superb at selling it. She even sold it on offense, which isn’t really done a lot today, at least from what I’ve seen. Faithbreaker from McCool gets the win after some Alicia Fox interference. Not really all that great but better that some of the 90 second diva matches on TV every week. Punk and Hardy had a nice pace to it. Jeff crashed into the rail early on when he used the stairs as a springboard. Punk’s strikes were nice and Hardy’s offense was of the standard variety he uses in all of his matches. For the record, I’ve never been sold on Jeff Hardy as a top singles guy. One problem I had was that when Hardy had Punk in a hold, he would try to get the crowd going, instead of working the hold. The good pace came to a screeching halt with the screwy finish. First, Hardy hit the swanton bomb for a three-count. The ref then waved it off after he noticed that Punk’s foot was under the rope. Next, we get an argument between Hardy and the ref, Punk scoops up Hardy for the GTS, and Hardy elbows him in the eye. Punk then kicks the ref. Yeah, it came across as screwed up as it reads. The finish hurt the score but Punk’s selling of the eye afterward was a sight to behold (no pun intended). Cena and Miz was more filler than anything. Miz started off good and worked on Cena’s neck for a bit. Cena was trying to make Miz look credible but it seems like Miz is destined to be nothing more that a high mid-card act. The end was basically Cena squashing Miz with the Attitude Adjustment and the STF. Decent match but didn’t feel like the semi-main of a pay-per-view at all. Now for the main and, Lord almighty, there were some issues here. The show was running way late by this point and they had to condense the first two falls into about five minutes. First fall was your standard HHH/Orton fare until HHH got DQed for using the steps. Thirty seconds later, he pins Orton on the floor with a Pedigree to win the second fall. Third fall was a stretcher match which featured bad crowd brawling, both guys falling off the stretcher by accident, and HHH pulling a sledgehammer out of the stage. Wait, what? Why the fuck was there a sledgehammer in the stage? Rhodes and DiBiase interfere to give Orton the win in a shitty main to cap off a shitty show. Yep, this was just as bad as I remember it.
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