Thursday, November 26, 2009

HWA Drake Younger's Psycho Circus - 7/31/09

It needs to be noted first that HWA still has not figured out how to make a basic DVD menu on a computer. Instead, each match is a separate title on the disc and after each match, the disc reverts back to the title menu. Also, it seems like the matches were shot in widescreen, so therefore instead of where the black bars would be, they have red and yellow vertical stripes which get really annoying. There is also no commentary, probably because the people who put together the DVD didn’t know how to dub it in.

1) Bunkhouse Battle Royal (Notable participants: “Lightning” Tim Lutz, Kid Fabulous, V-Radd, J.T Stahr, Aaron Extreme, Matt Taylor, and Dave Crist) – 1
2) Aaron Williams vs. Chance Prophet – 3
3) Relentless Ron Mathis vs. Dameon Daniels – Thumbtack Match – 2
4) Jon Moxley vs. Scotty Vortekz – Dog Collar Match – 4
5) Drake Younger vs. Christian Faith – Four Corners of Fun Match – 5
6) King Vu vs. Vincent Nothing – 3
7) Matt Taylor vs. Brian Beech – Leather Strap Match – 2
8) Drake Younger vs. Relentless Ron Mathis vs. Jon Moxley – Fans Bring the Weapons Elimination Match – 6

First up out of the gate was a battle royal touted as a bunkhouse match which featured the most random mix of low-level indy dudes ever. Pretty sad when Dave Crist is the biggest name in your battle royal. Not much substance in this match with people walking around the ring. V-Radd has about as much street cred as Jamie Kennedy did in that shitty “Malibu’s Most Wanted” flick from a few years ago. Stahr looked decent, even though he seems to be stuck in the same spot he was in three years ago. V-Radd and Stahr were the final two with some nice elimination teases that didn’t amount to jack shit. V-Radd took a bump on the apron while suplexing Stahr to the floor for the finish. Next up was a match that was announced as being fought under “american luchacore rules”, whatever that means. Prophet looks like something that came out of a Mortal Kombat game. You’ve heard people say that certain matches “never got out of first gear”, well this never got out of neutral. Williams totally pussed out on a bump over the top rope and followed that up by moonsaulting off a railing on the floor that’s next to a makeshift merch table which featured a Randy Savage n.W.o. poster in the background. The brawl on the floor next to the seats was good. Prophet caught Williams running down the aisle and dropped him face first on the apron. Aside from that spot, Prophet looked really bad. Williams was far too reliant on his strikes and kicks although he did break out a nice German suplex. Back on the outside, Williams got his head run into a makeshift wall. Weak finish in this where Prophet gets pulled off the top turnbuckle. Match wasn’t really all that great but it was worlds better than the terrible opener.

Drake Younger, doing a gig where he’s HWA president for a day, comes out next and sets up an invitational tournament. First match up in said tournament is Mathis and Daniels. Aside from the finish and a dive over the top, Daniels spend the whole match just beating on Mathis. There’s a crowd brawl sequence which ends with Mathis taking a crutch to the throat. Mathis took a few nasty tack bumps but nothing that really meant anything in the end. One major flaw I had with this match was that since Mathis continually kicked out of spots on the tacks, how is it that it only takes one bump on the tacks and a frogsplash for Daniels to be pinned? Next up was Moxley and Scotty Vortekz so this could be good. Moxley’s verbal taunting throughout the bout added a nice touch. Moxley took a wild bump over the top after he threw Scotty over and the forgot he was attached to him. Another crowd brawl and they go up to the completely empty second level and wail on each other there. Back in the ring, Mox sticks Scotty with these pencil like spikes and nailed him with some hard weapon shots. Scotty took an ill facebuster into some tacks that were leftover from the previous bout. Moxley looked pretty good here but I haven’t seen enough of Vortekz to form an opinion yet. Final tournament bout was Younger himself taking on a dude dressed in black with a white mask. I wasn’t expecting much out of this after seeing the previous two bouts but they really surprised me here. Drake began the bout wearing out Faith with a water jug. More brawling into the crowd and Faith took a sick pan shot. Since Faith has a mask on, you instantly know that Drake is going to bleed. Faith gives Drake the ol’ cheese grater to the forehead and proves my point. Faith got a bit of nice offense in with the big spot being smashing Drake in the corner. End of the match saw Drake go after Faith’s biceps with a pizza cutter and then pin him following a vertebreaker.

Next two bouts were shit. First up, we get King Vu and Vincent Nothing in a match that amounted to nothing. Vu comes out with his hand stuck out forcing people to kiss it. I’m not sure I buy this just yet. How did he become king? I didn’t vote for him. Vincent’s MMA style arm-bars were a nice touch but were the only thing of note that he did. He sure wasn’t as good as his partner was in the previous match. Vu’s verbal taunting helped him get over as a heel and finished off Vincent with a shitty forearm smash. To quote the landlord from the movie The Mask, “That’s what you are Ipkiss, a big nothing!” A post-match angle leads into the strap match that was eight minutes of awful. Beech and his blonde highlights need to go back to selling car speakers at the flea market. For some reason, there was zero audio for the first two minutes of this bout. Taylor is wrestling in jeans and an AC/DC t-shirt and looks ridiculous. I’m not sure why it was a strap match, aside from somebody in the back decreeing that it be. Beech choked Taylor in the stands and repeated rammed him into the ring post. Moments later, this was over. Thank God. The finals of the Drake Younger tournament closed out the show and was a really fun match. Mathis took a sick splat on the floor after missing a plancha. All kinds of weapons were involved in this match such as keyboards, pans, light tubes, chairs, fake legs, and barbed wire. Mathis was eliminated after a facebuster from Moxley on some light tubes. The final act with Moxley and Drake was fantastic. They exchanged some ill headbutts on the top turnbuckle before Drake took a flat back bump off the top buckle through another batch of light tubes. The finish was Moxley working in the chicken wing submission and making Drake tap out in really the only recommendable match of this show.


Brian said...

i know our mantra is "never hand over" but in the case of this DVD i think i'm going to need you to ASAP..

Adam said...

Don't worry ... it'll be in the next exchange.