Thursday, November 12, 2009

Hirooki Goto and Wataru Inoue vs. Masato Tanaka and Jado - G1 Climax '09 - 4

Jado and Goto get us started with some perfunctory mat work--thanks guys. Watching Jado sell a headlock is like falling down a flight of stairs. Dick first. A fun shoulderblock exchange between Tanaka and Goto. Inoue on the floor gets introduced to the guardrail and facially sells some Tanaka punches like he's a sophomore doing her first shot of vodka. Tanaka drops a series of pretty vicious elblowdrops, but they're no Abdullah. Max Moon-level sidekick by Tanaka. Tanaka is developing a Shawn Michaels-like bald spot. I wonder what his arch nemesis Mike Awesome's hair looks like nowadays. He used to have a really great, flowing mullet back in WCW. Anyway, a back suplex on Inoue but while being pinned he blankly watches the ref counting instead of selling--I hate when guys do that shit. Goto is back in and the crowd and I are both happier for it. Goto's top rope elbowdrop is so dangerous looking; it's like a guy trying to hang a "Happy Birthday Veronica" banner from his three-story house and slipping off the ladder. Tanaka's forehead looks like beef jerky, lemon pepper-flavored, to be exact, or maybe mesquite BBQ, but I'm no expert. Come on Inoue, you call that a spear? I've seen elementary touch football games showcase better tackles. Ever play "shirts vs. skins" basketball? I perfer "pants vs. genitals" but it's hard to get a pick-up game going. Masato takes Wataru's head off with a lariat and then hits "Sliding D" and this is over.

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