Memphis Power Pro Wrestling 5/2/98

1. "Mr. Personalities" Derrick King and Kid Wicked vs. Lance Jade and Bobby Bronze - 2
2. Paul Diamond vs. Ashley Hudson - 2
3. Tony Falk vs. Spellbinder - 2
4. Tracy Smothers vs. Jerry Lawler - 1
5. Jet Jaguar vs. "Handsome" Jimmy Valiant - 0
6. Billy Joe Travis vs. Brian Christopher - Stretcher Match - 5

This show aired on Saturday mornings and they toured a bit in Arkansas, Mississippi, etc. It was done in a tiny makeshift TV studio. It’s apparent that it’s ’98, as the flea market Tommy Hilfigger and NASCAR gear are a dead giveaway. King, who back then looked like he weighed 98lbs. is doing a gimmick impersonation gimmick. This week he is doing WWF-era Jarrett which is kind of amusing. His partner, Kid Wicked, looks like a chunkier realtive of AJ Styles. Pretty basic stuff, with the only development coming out of it was Wicked knocked his own partner's foot from the rope in effect costing King the match.

After watching a lot of AWA lately this isn't the Paul Diamond I remembered--he's put on some excess weight and grew some facial hair. Billy Joe Travis, who was at ringside gabbing with the announcers, smashed a ukulele over Hudson's (faux-Australian dude) head on his way to the back leading to a Diamond victory. Paul would return the favor by interfering in two matches himself throughout the show, which even confounded the announcers who had no idea what or why Diamond was routinely interfering in seemingly unrelated matches, wearing his warm-up sweats to boot.

Falk is a longtime Texas veteran that looks completely clueless in neon green spandex that looked like they were designed by his six-year old nephew who thought Bart Simpson was just the coolest. Spellbinder had a decent, athletic look, even got him a short-lived (two matches total) stint in the WWF. A complete throwaway.

They put up little graphics whenever guys come down to ringside, one of the stats being "Years Pro" but strangely that was left off when Lawler made his entrance--guess they didn't want to remind people the top face had been doing the same shtick for two decades. They're pushing his hard as ECW vs. WWE/PPW. Lawler cuts this really self-absorbed promo pre-match, showing the weekly Cleveland Indians newsprint publication he subscribes to, his trophy girlfriend, etc. Smothers comes out in a bootleg ECW t-shirt, says that if this were ECW he'd take Lawler's girlfriend Stacey and powerbomb her through a table. Tracy's taunts come off like playground bravado. The match itself is complete shit, allegedly these guys have renewed the old school in the last year or so and had a share of decent matches (individually, not together) but none of that motivation can be seen here as Lawler does little else then roll-up a distracted Smothers.

Jimmy Valiant is just a gross human being. He looks like an ex-biker turned homeless miscreant, sort of like this ragged dude I saw fuck Sasha Grey (is there anything she won't do? Which leads me to a second, equally important question, to not have a gag reflex, blessing or curse?) in this gnarly porn scene I acquired last year. He gets jumped pre-match so this is tossed out.

The main event is terrific, I mean, it's a studio wrestling show, but just trivially interesting enough to me to get some bonus points. A random stretcher match? Billy Joe dressed up like a twelve-year old girl's mother that's taking her to a Backstreet Boys concert and is trying to fit in? The rest of this show you're better off just downloading anything BattleArts-related and doing without, but I might give this a mercy recommendation just for how surreal it is. Brian Christopher, never more than a popcorn fart in WWE, being your biggest babyface and savior instantly gives your company zero credibility, and seemingly, they don't realize this, no, embrace it even. Memphis is a fucked up place...