Saturday, February 23, 2008

wwf monday night raw prime cuts

(i'm finally settled into my new apartment.. that's why i've been sans updates for awhile.. - using girlfriend's pc.. no word processing program so i skipped proper english and just wrote this one in my own shorthand style i perfected on my old deadjournal circa 2000.. - any time i've had in-front of my couch i've been watching the simpsons, old ovw tv tapings, and docs on the oklahoma city bombing.. - but now i'm ready to start reviewing the pile of discs good sir adam handed over.. - let's get this party started in here..)

this two-hour compilation of raw moments and matches was hosted by the terrific team of vince mcmahon, bobby hennan, and occasionally joined on commentary by "macho man" randy savage.. - while some of the replaying of angles segments were tedious, especially watching crush's heel turn on the stick, some of the non-wrestling content was decent.. like a vignette on how they produce raw weekly.. - let's take a look at the wrestling, though.. the most important aspect of course..

1) shawn michaels vs. marty jannetty - 4
this was a pretty hot fued.. although they never really took it as far as they could have.. doing the whole "ex-partners collide" bit.. - however, the iconic image of jannetty hoping the rail wearing a thrift store hoodie that one time still sticks with me.. - this match had some big bumps, good nearfalls, and high energy.. - they never really let up.. - jannetty did a baseball slide under the bottom rope, kicking michaels, then did the steamboat "reverse pulling yourself up using the ropes" (like ricky did during many battle royals) to get back into the ring, then immeditaley dived out to the floor with a plancha in a cool combo.. - mr. perfect came out, who was fueding with shawn, tossed a towel in shawn's face leading him to be rolled up in an upset.. as jannetty had already ate sweet chin music... - pretty decent stuff..

2) 1-2-3 kid vs. razor ramon - 5
this is pretty short, but gets the points as it still works.. - in our generation, this is sort of the formula that's been copied copious amounts of times of the underdog beating the odds.. - it's still the measuring stick for that type of story.. - razor is toying with the kid, beating his scrawny ass, then kid nails a moonsault and the crowd pops huge.. - i remember when this orignally aired watching it with a childhood bud, we ran out in the night to the alley behind my house afterward and danced a little jig in excitement.. - yeah.. it was that cool..

3) mr. perfect vs. doink the clown - 5
wow.. this was the real surprise on the show.. - wasn't sure how it'd work out, but was pleasently surprised.. - being a longtime close, analytical viewer.. i picked up that these two had some legit heat.. - doink worked real stiff, not selling a lot for henning, and also taking liberties a couple times.. especially with some nasty stomps that just screamed "fuck you".. - perfect could make anyone look good at this time.. he even wasn't afraid to bust out some amaetur stuff.. - still, this is worth seeing soley for the subtle ugliness on display.. - they did the angle (for the first time, i believe) where a second doink came out, slide under the ring, and they did the 'ol switheroo.. - perfect still one with a perfectplex on doink 2.0...

4) i.r.s. vs. pj walker - 2
real short.. - walker took a quasi-ballsy bump to the floor.. - razor came down and distracted irwin to lead to a quick roll-up victory for the green, future ECW champ walker..

5) yokozuna vs. crush - 4
better than expected.. - largely (pun way not intended) due to yoko being the bomb.. - he was a damn godsend for this company at this time.. - slipped right into the role of being their biggest heel.. - crowd even got behind crush.. - one small thing you might miss is crush coming off the ropes and sort of runs right into yoko's arm, nearly breaking his own nose in a unintentionally funny moment.. - yoko took a spill to the floor that was insane for a guy his size.. - yokozuna wins with the deadly bonzai drop.. - i'd love to eat some raw fish and rice off his ample buttocks..

6) the stieners vs. the quebecers - quebec province rules match - 4
match was decent but had a handful of real unslightly botches.. - rick jumped off the second buckle onto a prone pierre, but for some reason, jumped directly onto pierre's legs and then sold it like pierre blocked it with his knees.. although pierre never moved a muscle? - jacques oversells are distracting.. - the quebecers did their doubleteam where jacques slams pierre onto an opponent, but in this spot, scott stiener was on his side selling something, and rolled over right in time to have pierre land right on his fucking face.. - the quebecers did a double hotshot on scott that was ugly, giving stiener whiplash and somehow getting his arm tied up in the ropes.. - scott got disqualifed for getting caught "using" a hockey stick, and i use the term lightly as he swung that thing as gingerly as a fatty fans himself with a coupon while waiting in line for a hotdog at a kansas city royals game.. - titles could change on a dq, due to the special rules, so the 'becers are crowned new champs and the stieners are portrayed as mildly retarded..

7) 20 man battle royal - 3
this looked like a circus sideshow.. with freaks like bastion booger, m.v.p. (the face-painted baseball gimmick, not my boy antonio banks), giant gonzales, mabel in bright purple rags that look cut from the same cloth as a hot air ballon, adam bomb, and more.. - as far as battle royals go, this one was pretty shitty.. - not a lot of elimanations early.. - sad seeing bam bam bigelow and owen hart working each other in a corner, both taken too early from us.. - lots of uninspired work here.. - best elimanations were marty jannetty and bigelow for both taking ballsy spills to the arena floor, worst elim goes to m.v.p. (in his debut match) for falling out of the ring like a scared child's first time jumping into a public pool.. - last two go on to wrestle the following week for the intercontinental title.. ends up being rick "the model" martel and razor.. after ramon dumps both quebecers out..

8) razor ramon vs. rick martel - 4
first go 'round on this one was at 3am and i was extremely tired.. - just re-watched this "sum bitch" and not too impressed.. - announcers put it over huge, though.. - martel largely controls it, which was for the best.. - ramon almost botched his finisher, as they had a timing miscue and martel jumped up to help razor hoist him before razor lifted up, so then razor had to lift again but this time actually muscle martel up legit.. but this mishap was quickly forgotten as he absolutey killed martel with a sick razor's edge, dropping the vet right on his skullpiece..

pretty entertaining show.. nice to relive some old memories and fun to look at the wrestling not just as a fan, but actually study the work and discover new levels of what's going on.. - my overall impression is raw seemed a lot more fun back then..


Jessie said...

this was a really comprehensive review that was funny as hell...can't imagine the kind of schlep that would be at a royals game....i'm so down to watch this disc

Brian said...

thanks for the feedback.. - i think you'll enjoy the disc.. especially bobby heenan slipping in a puddle while mcmahon and savage laugh like i didn't in The Heartbreak Kid..